She Will Rejoice (12 page)

             
“Mr. Haydn,” her voice sounded breathy to her own ears, “you are home.”

             
Mr. Dillon stepped from the room.

             
Naomi approached her husband, “I was not expecting you.”

             
“Sorry to intrude on your calm.”

             
She was hurt by his response, but she could scarcely blame him given her behavior just prior to his departure from Selby.

             
“It is no intrusion, Finn,” she spoke softly. “I welcome your presence.”

             
He narrowed his eyes as if he were trying to discern the veracity of her statement. Finally he grinned and remarked flippantly about what a surprise that was before crossing through the hallway to the parlor.

             
Naomi followed him.

             
“How have you been keeping yourself busy while I have been away?” he didn’t bother looking at her while he spoke to her.

             
“I have spent a lot of time in the Scriptures, actually.”

             
He spun and gaped at her, “You are reading the Bible?”

             
She was a trifle offended that he would be so surprised, “Your sister suggested it.”

             
He dropped to the chair next to her, “Now you will be able to discern just how desperately wicked I am, my love.”

             
She looked down at her hands folded in her lap, “I would rather not.”

             
He chuckled as he pulled her hand into his lap, “Would you prefer to pretend I am not a cheating cad, Naomi?”

             
Her temper was awakened, “I would prefer you did not speak of serious issues in so flippant a manner.”

             
His mouth lifted in a grin, and she knew he was not going to take her seriously.

             
She sighed, “Why have you returned? It seems it is not because you have missed me.”

             
Finn looked quickly away from her, “My sister is soon to have her baby. I would like to see the child when he or she is born.”

             
For some reason, Finn’s tenderness struck a chord in his wife’s heart.

“He,” she whispered.

              Finn turned quickly back to her, “I beg your pardon?”

             
“He was born this morning,” she rose. “I have the express in my sitting room if you would care to read it.”

             
Finn tugged her back to her seat, “No. You have learned all the details by heart now, I know.”

             
She laughed, glad to be able to share the joy with someone, “They have named him Conrad Nicholas. He was born in the very early hours, and he has a headful of dark hair.”

             
“Conrad,” Finn whispered. “She named him after my grandfather.”

             
Naomi knew it must be Diana’s father.

             
“Is my mother aware of the birth?”

             
Naomi nodded, “I told her myself. She was still able to comprehend what I said.”

             
Finn rose and took his wife’s hand, “It must have been early indeed.”

             
She followed him willingly up the stairs, “Your sister has asked that we – your mother and I – come visit tomorrow. Will you join us?”

             
He stopped and looked down at her, “My mother has agreed to this?”

             
“No,” Naomi admitted, “but she may change her mind if she knows you are going.”

             
Finn laughed and led her to her bedchamber, “Good night, Naomi.”

             
She grabbed at his hand when he would turn to go, “Are you not joining me?”

             
He didn’t look at her, simply shook his head, “Not tonight, my love. I am weary from travel.”

             
Naomi had no choice but to accept his decision and go to bed. She did not sleep well.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Finn could hear his wife tossing and turning in the next room. He wished he had not left open the doors between them, but he did not wish to alert her to his own wakefulness by closing them.

She had been hurt by his refusal to join her as well as his dismissal of her feelings regarding his return. Perhaps she really did love him, but her love was clearly conditional and transitory. It would fade quickly.

Finn did not know what to believe about her new habit of reading the Bible. It hadn’t seemed to do his sister any harm, but Tessa had always been a sweet girl. Perhaps she was not as likely to fall into the self-righteous behavior Finn expected of Christians.

As much talk as there was among the gentry of religious people being hypocrites, Finn had seen little of it.
Nicholas was forthright and genuine, never looking down on Finn because he did not follow the same path. George and Rhoda were also kind and generous people who were more likely to help those in need than gossip about them in sitting rooms.

Time would tell what religion would do to his wife. Naomi was fiery and tempestuous, and he hoped her new convictions would not dull her ability to tease and challenge him. At any rate, Finn did not feel he could tell her not to pursue Christianity.
He was on tenuous ground, and that might just be the straw that would break the proverbial camel’s back.

Naomi knocked on his bedroom door before he was out of bed the following morning.

“Come in.”

She glanced first toward the dressing table and then, surprised, to the bed, “I thought you would be up by now.”

He sat up, “Were you waiting for me?”

She remained in the doorway and shook her head, “Not really, but I had hoped to be on our way in the morning.”

He closed his eyes and searched his memory, “On our way?”

“To see Tessa,” she reminded him.

Her voice then took on a hesitant tone, “You are coming, are you not?”

He looked at her. It seemed she really did want him, but
her behavior the last time they visited Tessa left him with little desire for a repeat performance.

“I can be ready to leave in under an hour.”

She beamed at him, “That is wonderful.”

He watched her leave, wishing he could control the rapid pace of his heart just once when she was around.

Finn got out of bed and dressed in record time. He was not sure if Naomi would prefer him clean-shaven, but he did not wish to be apart from her any longer than necessary.

“Have you ordered the carriage?” he joined her in the breakfast
room and helped her get seated.

“
Yes, thank you.”

“Is my mother joining us?” he guessed not.

Naomi’s face registered something that looked a lot like guilt.

“No,” she trifled with her napkin, “she does not care to accompany us.”

Finn speared a piece of bacon, “She said that?”

Naomi sighed, “And more.”

He hoped his mother had not done anything to hurt Naomi. He was doing a fine job of that himself.

“Perhaps it would do some good if I spoke to her.”

Naomi nodded as she chewed.

“I will speak to her before we leave. If she agrees to go with us, we may be forced to delay our departure.”

She nodded again.

Finn set down his fork, “Is something wrong?”

Naomi nodded.

He waited.

“I yelled at her yesterday,” she admitted. “I did not mean to, but she was so. . .so angry.”

He was not surprised the women had argued. It was bound to happen, “She was angry about the baby?”

“About everything,” Naomi pushed back from the table. “She is so busy feeling sorry for herself that she can find no joy in her children, her grandson, anything.”

He nodded, “You’re right.”

“I know I am right, Finn,” she sounded tired, “but it does not follow that I was right to yell at her.”

Finn had missed this woman so much. Every day he had considered running back to her, but he was trying to give her some space. It was not his new nephew that brought him back to Selby; it was his wife. He could not stay away one day longer.

They finished their meal in silence. Finn’s mother refused to see him, and he did not feel inclined to press the issue.

“Are you ready to go?” he found his wife in the music room.

She rose from her seat, “I am.”

He offered her an arm and led her to the waiting carriage.

“Did your mother decide not to come?” she spoke once they were on their way.

He shrugged, “She would not see me.”

Naomi nodded as if she expected as much.

“Has her drinking increased?”

Naomi appeared to be in thought about it.

“I am not sure,” she frowned. “I have not seen an increase in spending for spirits, but it does seem she is starting earlier in the day.”

Finn had always felt it was his responsibility to distract his mother from her gin and his fault that she would not stop drinking.

“I suppose she is spending her allowance on that.”

Naomi nodded, “Likely. She has no need for new clothes because she has not had a visitor since you were last here. In fact, there have been days in succession when she has not changed from her night things.”

Finn wondered if his mother was cleaning herself or eating.

“Mrs. Hollingberry has been trying to tempt her to eat by making your mother’s favorite foods.”

Finn was pleased the woman would think of that, “Has it been working?”

Naomi nodded, “She still takes her dry toast in the morning, and we cannot get her to take evening tea at all, but she usually eats a good dinner.”

Finn reached his hand across the expanse, “Thank you for taking care of my mother.”

She gripped his hand and held tightly to it for the rest of the journey. He wondered if, perhaps, she was ready to forgive him for the wrongs he had done.

Tessa was beyond thrilled to see them. She was not able to go down the stairs yet, but she was out of bed and in the sitting room when Finn and Naomi arrived.

“You look marvelous,” Naomi sat beside her and gave her a gentle hug. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel marvelous,” she smiled at Naomi before looking up at her brother. “I had not expected to see you here.”

Finn could well believe that. He had not written to his sister while in London despite her regular letters to him.

He smiled down at her, “Would you prefer I wait out in the carriage?”

Tessa laughed and pointed to a seat, “Please sit.”

He did as instructed.

“Have you been home long?” she asked as she adjusted her robe around herself.

“I arrived last night, and my wife informed me of your news.”

“Speaking of which,” Nicholas entered the room with a tightly wrapped bundle and placed it in Naomi’s arms.

“He’s beautiful, Tessa,” Naomi breathed.

Finn rose and knelt beside his wife and sister so he could get a better look at the baby. Little Conrad’s face was slightly wrinkled and very red. The addition of all that hair made him look like a furry tomato.

“Isn’t he beautiful, Finn?”

He looked up toward the woman holding the baby. Her face was flushed in pleasure, and her mouth was upturned at the corners.

“Very beautiful,” he whispered.

Tessa nudged him and spoke into his ear, “She was talking about my son, not herself.”

Finn smirked when he saw the blush deepen on his wife’s cheeks.

Naomi turned to her husband a few minutes later, “Would you like to hold him?”

Finn was torn between a deep longing and absolute terror. He nodded and rose.

Tessa waited for him to be seated and took her son, placing him gently in her brother’s arms.

Nicholas chuckled, “He’s not going to break, Haydn.”

Finn smiled and relaxed a bit. Somehow, the baby became more beautiful once in his arms. He looked up to tell his wife as much, but the tears glistening on her lashes stopped him. Was she crying because she was moved or because she was seeing something she would never have?

He looked back at the baby, “Do they always have this much hair? I’ve never seen one this young.”

“Not all of them,” Tessa answered the question. “Conrad got lucky, I guess.”

Finn looked back to Naomi, “How did M
other take the news of his name?”

“She seemed pleased.”

Nicholas took the seat next to Finn so he could better see his son, “But it was not enough to get her to visit.”

Finn frowned, “You thought it would be?”

Tessa shook her head and spoke rather bitterly, “We did not think anything of the sort. Mother probably thought we should come visit her rather than the other way around.”

Naomi did not verify the truth of that statement.

“At any rate, we do not need that sorrow right now,” Tessa’s normal tone returned. “This is a joyful occasion.”

The baby let out a cry, contradicting his mother in the process.

Tessa took him, “Come visit with me while I feed the baby, Naomi.”

Finn watched his wife leave the room, wishing he could think of a reason she had to stay with him.

“I hear you’ve been in town,” Nicholas started a new conversation the instant the ladies were out of the room.

Finn turned toward his brother-in-law.

“You were in town, Finn,” Nicholas leaned forward. “For a month.”

In his eagerness to see Conrad and to be with his wife, Finn had forgotten Nicholas’s tendency to call him on his bad behavior.

“I was giving her space.”

“Giving her space is letting her go for walks without you, sleeping in your own chamber, talking about neutral topics.”

Finn grimaced.

“You deserted her, Finn. When she was feeling her worst, you just left her in a house with maids, servants, and your mother.”

“It was not my desire or intention to do so,” he admitted. “At least not for so long.”

Nicholas waited for an explanation.

“Something came about, and I had to stay.”

Nicholas narrowed his eyes, “What could have been more important than
your marriage, Finn?”

He dropped his chin to his chest. It was time to tell someone.

“I have a daughter.”

Nicholas was stunned into silence.

“I just found out.”

“The woman just gave birth?”

“Th
e child is nearly two.”

“Why has the mother sought you out now? Why not when she was expecting? Or when the child was an infant?”

“Delia is dead,” Finn spoke the words as quickly as possible. “The child’s mother. She died the week before I arrived in London.”

Nicholas glanced toward the door to ensure the women were not about to join them.

“Were you looking for her?”

Finn’s eyes widened, “No.
Indeed not.”

“How did you make the discovery?”

Finn rose and paced the small room, “A man came to see me – told me his granddaughter had just lost her mother, and he was looking for the father. After hearing a few particulars I knew the babe was mine.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Delia’s father is a gentleman. The baby’s mother was married to a sailor who was presumed dead. He came back and found his wife with child. He accepted the child while his wife was alive, but he no longer wants to deal with the child.”

Finn chanced a look at the man beside him. Nicholas’s brown was puckered in worry.

“The grandparents have sent her to Ireland where Delia’s sister lives.”

“And she will stay there?”

“They would like to keep her as they are not able to have children.”

Nicholas looked up, “You would let them keep your child?”

“I do not know her.”

“Does that matter? She is your child.”

“I will not jeopardize my marriage for the sake of a person I do not know.”

“Your little girl,” Nicholas pressed.

“I do not even know her name,” he admitted. “The grandfather just asked me to help him pay for her journey and to get her settled in. That was all he wanted. He did not ask me to take the child.”

Nicholas blinked.

“I’m sorry, Nicholas,” Finn’s voice dropped. “I know this just proves every shameless and debauched thing anyone has ever said of me.”

Nicholas shook his head, “There is still time.”

Finn disagreed. There was no time to correct the situation because the little girl had already left for Ireland. A small part of him ached for the daughter he would never meet, but he would sooner lose her than Naomi.