Shelter in Seattle (8 page)

As she worked, she pondered Caleb’s words from the day before. He’d said the house was hers and he’d given her Jonathan. She examined her feelings and realized for the first time in her life, she felt a bottomless peace and satisfaction. The scare this afternoon had shown her that she had a lot to be thankful for. She had a home and a husband—Sort of—and she had a son. A sense of strength came to her, and Julianne determined to turn over a new leaf. To do things right. Was this what people meant when they said they had gotten saved? Or made a decision? Cause she decided right then to be a better person. One that Caleb could depend on and be proud of.

She wiped her hands on her apron and went to the window for what seemed like the hundredth time. The sun had already set and worry began to gnaw at her new found confidence.

Where was Caleb?

He’d said he would try to get home early and take her to the river to do laundry. Not that she still needed to do it, but he didn’t know that.

The tinkling sound of a bell penetrated the darkness. Julianne pressed her hands against her face and leaned into the window, squinting her eyes to see more clearly. The sound grew closer until she could make out two dark forms coming toward the house.

Had the Indians returned? She gathered Jonathan into her arms and held him close.

“Julianne!” Caleb’s rich voice called to her.

Julianne hurried out the door. She made out Caleb on his horse, and he was leading a cow toward the house. The moon crept from behind the clouds long enough for her to see a bell around the cow’s neck.

“What do you think of her?” Caleb asked when he came even with the porch. He slid off his horse.

Julianne cuddled the baby closer still. “I think it’s a cow.”

“Not just any cow. This here is May Bell, and she’s our new milk cow.” Caleb patted the beast on the neck.

“May Bell? You named her?” Julianne tilted her head to search Caleb’s face.

His rich laughter filled the night. Caleb pulled the horse and cow toward the barn. “No, I didn’t name her. The little boy I bought her from named her. He assures me we can get at least three gallons of milk a day from her. What do you think of that?” He opened the door to the barn and led the animals inside.

“Caleb?” Julianne hurried down the steps and followed him into the barn.

He closed the animals into separate stalls and turned to face her. “What’s wrong, honey?”

The concern in his voice and the way he called her, ‘honey,’ drew Julianne’s affection-deprived body to him. She fought an overwhelming need to be in his arms. Surely, this all stemmed from the scare she’d had earlier. You couldn’t grow close to someone in less than a week. She heaved a sigh. She hated to disappoint him again, but she didn’t see how not to, so she blurted it out.

“I don’t know how to milk a cow.” She tried to stop the trembling of her lower lip.

Caleb put an arm around her shoulders and turned her toward the door. “Well, I do, and I’ll teach you.

“Thank you.” Her appreciation sounded stiff and unnatural even to her own ears.

Caleb felt her pull away from him. He gently dropped his arm from her shoulders.

“Dinner is ready.” Her voice came out as a sigh of relief.

It troubled him that she felt ill at ease in his presence. “I’ll get washed up.” He headed for the side of the house where the well stood.

Pouring cold water into a basin, Caleb prayed. “Lord, I can’t make this woman trust me, and I can’t make her like me either. I know I’m suppose to love her, but she’s making it awfully hard to when she shimmies away from me like a horse in a bed of rattlers. Please help us both to grow in your love. Amen.” He finished his quick sponge bath and hurried into the house.

As he entered the front door, Caleb remembered he’d promised to take her to the river to wash clothes. “I’m sorry, Julianne. I plum forgot about taking you to the river.”

She held Jonathan in one arm and served dinner with the other. “That’s okay, Caleb. I’m sure you have your reasons for being late.”

Her tight voice, and the way she clung to the baby, expressed in more than words to Caleb that his new wife was unhappy with him. “We can go tomorrow, if you would like to. The boss gave me a couple of days off.” Caleb didn’t tell Julianne the foreman had given him the time off because he thought they needed a honeymoon.

 Julianne waited for him to bless the meal before answering. “That will be fine.”

They ate in silence. Julianne continued to hold the baby long after he’d finished his bottle and gone to sleep. Caleb wasn’t sure what had gotten into her. The day before, she’d only picked up little Jonathan when he’d needed his diaper changed or if she were feeding him. What had caused the change?

As soon as the last spoonful of beans reached his mouth, she started clearing the table. Caleb thought about whittling, but changed his mind. He watched her move the baby from one arm to the other as she worked.

He stood and walked over to the basin of water where she washed dishes. “Here, let me have the baby for a while. I haven’t seen him all day.”

Caleb found himself looking deeply into the blue eyes turned up at him. There was an air of efficiency about her that fascinated him. How did one so young learn how to handle household chores as well as she did plus care for a baby’s needs and a husband to boot? His gaze traveled over her face, and then returned to search her eyes. Carried away by his own response, he at first failed to notice her silent inspection of him. It seemed she was reluctant to hand the baby over. For a brief moment, he thought he saw fear, but then relief seemed to wash over her expression.

The baby snuggled into his chest and sighed heavily. He carried him to the table, and then took a good look at the chairs they had to rest in. What Julianne and the baby needed was a good rocker. Caleb decided he’d make them one. It would be high backed with butterflies and puppies in a field of flowers carved into the back.

“How are the baby’s bottles holding out?” He sat down at the table and studied his nephew’s little face.

Julianne wiped her hands on a cloth. “The bottles are okay, it’s the nipples I’m worried about. I washed them this afternoon but they still look and smell pretty bad.”

Caleb looked up. “I’ll start making him a new one tomorrow. Do you think the others will last until I can get it made?”

“Depends on how long it takes. What are you going to make it out of?” Julianne rubbed at the small of her back.

“I’ll whittle it out of wood. Shouldn’t take but a day, maybe two.” His thoughts turned to the rocker. It would have to wait until the new nipple was finished. He glanced up to find Julianne staring at him.

Concern laced her tired blue eyes and tiny lines marred her forehead. “Oh Caleb, the splinters will hurt his little mouth and besides he won’t be able to suck a wooden nipple.”

Caleb stood and took the baby to his crib. “I’ll make sure it’s smooth and the hole will be very tiny so that he won’t get too much milk at one time.” He turned to return to the kitchen and bumped into Julianne.

She tried to back out of his grasp, but her feet tangled up with his boots and he felt them both falling.

Caleb twisted his body, barely feeling the soft bed beneath him as Julianne landed on his chest. Air whooshed from his lungs.

Her dark hair covered his face, and she let out a little squeak. Caleb felt her hands on his chest and the pressure she applied as she pushed herself up.

For reasons he didn’t know or understand, Caleb wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He stared up into startled baby blue eyes.

Julianne’s dark hair created a curtain around their faces. Her sweet breath mixed with his. Their lips paused, mere inches apart.

Chapter 9

Julianne felt the movement of his breathing beneath her. Pleasure softened the ruggedness of his face, and she noticed touches of humor around his mouth and near his eyes. Compelling green eyes with questions glittering in their debts, stared up at her.

“Would it be too much for a husband to ask for a kiss, sweet Julianne?” He remained motionless as if waiting for her response. She noticed he watched her mouth intently. Then slowly, his hand moved from her waist to lift a curl and rub it between his finger and thumb. He brought her untried senses to life. Where her voice came from, Julianne wasn’t sure. She heard herself whisper. “I am your wife, Caleb. If you want a kiss, all you have to do is take it.”

Caleb dropped the captured curl and gently set her from him. “I won’t take your kisses. They are something you will freely give or I won’t have them.” He pushed himself off the bed and left the cabin.

Disappointment worked its way into her confused thoughts. He hadn’t kissed her. She let out a long audible sigh. Julianne was used to men taking what they wanted. Caleb hadn’t. She hadn’t wanted him to take the kiss, and yet she felt the need to sample one from him.

She quickly changed into her nightgown and prepared for bed. After brushing her hair, she climbed between the quilts.

Why hadn’t he kissed her? She flipped over onto her stomach. The thoughts troubled her. Why did she care that he hadn’t kissed her?

“I should be grateful.” She breathed into the pillow. But, she wasn’t. Julianne chalked it up to being overly tired from her day at the stream.

Caleb left the house in anger. She had made him sound like a caveman. “I’m your wife; all you have to do is take it.” He mocked out loud.

Didn’t she know he wouldn’t force himself on her? Hadn’t he told her as much?

Disappointment ate at him. Her breath and hair had smelled fresh and clean. Everything about her seemed pure.

Caleb admitted he’d wanted the kiss. What would it be like to touch her sweet lips with his?

He stomped out to the barn. The horse neighed, and the cow mooed their greetings. Caleb picked up the lantern that sat on a small shelf by the door and lit it.

 He walked over to his horse and rubbed its nose. “I don’t understand my new wife.”

The cow released a low sound that snagged Caleb’s sense of humor, and he chuckled in spite of himself. “Oh, you understand her do you?” He moved across the stall and scratched behind the cow’s big velvet ear.

“For just a moment, I was sure she wanted the kiss as much as I did.” He moved away from the animals to a pile of wood that rested at the back of the barn.

Caleb searched through it until he found a small log. He carried it back to the old stump he used as a stool. A knife sat on the ledge close by and he began to whittle.

Prayers peeled from his soul with each shaving of wood.

How long he whittled and prayed, Caleb wasn’t sure. He held the small nipple out and looked it over. A good roll in river sand would soften the edges of the wood and make it safe for the baby.

He stood, blew out the lantern and returned to the cabin.

Careful not to wake Julianne, he climbed the stairs to his bed. The mattress creaked with his weight. Caleb wondered if Julianne had heard. He tilted his head sideways and listened.

The cabin remained silent. Tomorrow will be different, he told himself. It was obvious Julianne didn’t trust him. He had to nurture her until she did. With that thought in mind, he drifted off to sleep.

Heat bore down on him until he thought he would suffocate. Caleb twisted in the quilt. Sleep evaporated from his eyes, and he sat up. Daylight filtered through the window, and he realized he’d overslept.

He ran a hand through his damp hair. The house was stifling hot, and he wondered what had caused such heat. Pulling his clothes on, Caleb backed down the ladder.

When he got to the bottom he found the house was empty. Fresh loaves of bread rested on the kitchen table, but Julianne and the baby were nowhere to be found, so he went in search of them.

Stepping onto the porch he realized it was almost noon. He’d slept away most of the day. What must Julianne think of him? Where was she anyway?

He scoured the yard and garden. He didn’t see her, and his heart began to pound.

The cow let out a loud bellow. Caleb ran to the barn. He stopped just outside the open doors. Who was inside the barn? Could the Indians have come to carry off his family, livestock, and who knew what else, while he slept?

It took all his will not race inside when he heard Julianne’s raised voice. He could sense the anger in her.

“Fine! See if I try to help you again. You are an ungrateful beast with a nasty temper.”

Caleb cautiously peeked around the door. His lovely wife stood with her hands on her hips, facing the cow that had its head lowered and looked ready to charge.

“Don’t even think about it. We’ll be having steaks for dinner if you dare.” She threatened the animal.

Pride filled Caleb’s chest at his wife’s bravery. He could see the cow’s eyes were just as determined as Julianne sounded. The animal lifted its head and shook the bell around her neck.