She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, the water stinging her skin like needles, every nerve on fire with the pain of loss again as she thought of that explosion ripping through her dad.
And then she remembered there was something more they had from her father’s last minutes. A letter from Mike.
“You wrote to us that you were bringing Trooper here because my dad asked you to. I assumed that meant you spoke to him just before he . . . died.”
Mike shook his head, his black hair sleek and saturated. “He asked me before that to make sure Trooper made it back to the States. More along the lines of, ‘If anything happens to me . . .’”
“So he didn’t say anything before he died? Nothing?” What was she looking for? Some last guidance from her father?
Mike’s sigh heated over her. “He told me to reach into his vest pocket. He had one of those origami animals . . . a cat, I think. He made a joke about the zoo. He was trying to make me laugh.”
“That sounds like my dad, wanting to see a smile.” That single detail had given her so much more than any “official” report full of events. Her father hadn’t been alone and in the end, he’d squeezed one last moment of joy from life. “He always asked us to send him off with smiles rather than tears.”
Mike hauled her close and held on. She held just as firmly, her face tucked in the crook of his neck as they stood long enough for the water to begin to cool. Mike shut off the shower and the silence was deafening, but with her emotions still raw, she just wanted to curl up next to him and sleep in his arms.
Silently, he reached out for a towel and—
A scream split the night from outside. A horrible, gut-wrenching cry.
Gasping, Sierra grabbed the towel. “That’s my mom.”
Mike shot into action. He raced back into the main room, scooping up clothes. He tossed her khakis and shirt at her, then pulled on his jeans. She followed him, buttoning her pants and shirt, the fabric sticking to her damp body as she ran barefoot down the stairs after him. Her heart hammering in her ears, she sprinted to keep up with Mike, a tough proposition with his honed military body in full battle response mode.
Stones cut into her feet as she raced toward the house, security lights popping on left and right. Her mom was stumbling toward her SUV.
Carrying a dog.
Sierra frowned, slowing. Had someone broken in to hurt the animals again? But as she drew closer, she realized her mother was holding Trooper. The dog was twitching, foam bubbling from his mouth.
Her mother was trembling, crying and nearly babbling as she passed the dog over to Mike. “Somehow he got into my sleeping pills. He came to me holding the bottle, then this started . . . I don’t know how he got them. I could have sworn I tucked them safely away in a zippered bag up high in my bathroom medicine cabinet, but I could be wrong. I’ve been so frazzled—”
“Mom.” Sierra rushed to her mother. “It’ll be okay. Mike will drive you to the vet. I’ll call Doctor Vega while you’re on your way and I’ll watch Gramps. It’ll be okay.”
It had to be. She looked at Mike’s face, stark and set in the harsh glow of the security lights, and she saw the same fear echoed on his face.
The thought of losing this dog, their last link to her father, was beyond imagining for either of them.
* * *
RAY HAD TAKEN
more than one emergency call from Lacey over the past eighteen months, and he’d always managed to maintain professional calm. But seeing her so shaken tonight rattled him. He knew she treasured each life in her care—as did he—but tonight he fully grasped how much this dog meant to her family.
Standing over the barely conscious animal, he couldn’t afford to be anything other than completely focused as he took vitals and assessed his patient.
Lacey stood in the corner trembling by a row of dog and cat large canvas photos, her arms wrapped around her. “Don’t send me out of the room.”
He half smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Tell me what’s going on.” Her voice trembled. “I don’t want to distract you, but please let me know what’s happening. Talk to me while you work.”
“Since you know what substance he took, that helps.” Although hearing she needed sleeping pills unsettled him, but he would deal with that later. “Since he already vomited at your house and in the car, he’s gotten rid of some of the toxin. That’s a good thing.”
“I never thought I would be happy to have a dog puke in my car.” She laughed with a semi-hysterical edge.
He reached for a small plastic tube. “His heart rate is a little low, so I’ve given him some atropine and glycopyrrolate. Now you can help me by holding his head steady while I thread this tube down Trooper’s throat. I’m using an activated charcoal treatment to absorb the toxins so his body absorbs as little as possible.”
“Okay.” She seemed to steady at having a task. Typical Lacey. “Then what happens?”
“We hope we got to him in time and protected his system, his kidneys and his liver.” He carefully guided the tube down his throat, the dog’s lethargy working in their favor. Lacey talked while he concentrated on the job at hand.
“I’m always walking around the yard and into the forest looking for mushrooms, afraid an animal will eat one and get poisoned. And plants. I read up on every plant. Chocolate is kept on the top shelf of the pantry inside a box. Medicines are in a zipper pouch, locked in a cabinet.”
“Dogs are smart. If they want something badly enough, they’ll chew through Fort Knox.”
“He has to live.”
“I hear you.” This dog was her last link to her husband. He knew that well. Aside from his professional oath, on a personal level he’d be damned if he would be the one to break that link when she was so fragile.
Ray withdrew the tube and tossed it aside along with his gloves.
Lacey stroked her hands over Trooper’s fur, smoothing his ears, grabbing a paper towel to dab a bit of charcoal stain off his chin from when the tube was removed. “What do we do now?”
“I’m going to give him some fluids to flush the toxins out of his system, but other than that, we wait.”
He’d no more finished the sentence than Lacey had rolled the bag of IV fluids over to him. She knew the drill, down to the gauge needle he would need. She’d picked up a lot from her rescue work.
Once he taped the IV in place, he scooped Trooper into his arms, the loopy dog wriggling weakly in his grasp. “He has to stay here. But don’t worry. I’ll keep watch over him. I’m going to sleep in my office tonight so I can check on him. You’re free to leave. Are you okay to drive home?”
Sierra had picked up Mike a half hour ago once her grandfather fell asleep, making sure Lacey still had her vehicle.
“I’m fine to drive, but I can’t just leave him.”
“Lacey.” Pausing mid-step, he searched for the right words but couldn’t bring himself to tell her the cold truth. “You should go home, rest. No offense, but you look exhausted.”
There really wasn’t anything more he could do for the dog, but if Trooper died, Ray didn’t want it to happen at Lacey’s house. He could protect her from that much at least by keeping the dog here through the danger time.
“I won’t be able to sleep at home. The dog ate my pills, remember?” She was right on his heels every step to the kennels. “I’m not leaving.”
“Is that a question?” He glanced over his shoulder.
“Oh, sorry. But I’m not thinking clearly. Yes, may I please spend the night with you?”
Now wasn’t that a tempting offer? But definitely not the right timing. “Grab a blanket from the stack inside the top crate and spread it out in the bottom kennel for Trooper.”
She moved with a frenzied efficiency, making up the bed for the dog then reaching to help settle him. She tucked an extra rolled towel under his head, adjusted his paw so the IV line wouldn’t kink.
Ray closed the dog in, then knelt to look in Lacey’s eyes. “Do you want some coffee?”
She pulled down a couple more towels and dropped them on the floor in front of the crate before sitting. She rested her head against the metal grate. “I just want to stay here and watch him breathe.”
He wanted to offer her reassurance, but he couldn’t B.S. her. She knew too much with her work in rescue. She’d taken on some of the shelter’s sickest and most severely abused animals. Her passion for animal rescue was something to see.
With a long night ahead of them, he parked himself at his desk under the guise of work, all the while watching her watch her dog for . . . over an hour before he realized she truly wasn’t going to fall asleep. And he’d run out of paperwork to catch up on. So, the next time he checked Trooper’s vitals, he stayed and sat on the floor beside her.
“Is there any news on your neighbors’ petition with the county council?” He could at least try distracting her to make the time pass more quickly.
She shook her head. “I’ve submitted all my 501(c)(3) paperwork for review and allowed them unfettered access to every corner of the place. I’ve followed the law. I’ve done nothing wrong.”
“From where I’m sitting, you’ve done a helluva lot right.”
“Sometimes being right isn’t enough.” The weary slump to her shoulders broke his damn heart. “Life simply isn’t always fair. They may win. It happens to rescues all the time. So I’m focusing on placing the animals I have now. I can’t take any new ones in until I figure out the whole cash flow problem of relocating in a crummy economy.”
“You need to cut yourself some slack.” He allowed himself to touch one of those slumping shoulders and wished he could do more. “Maybe you need a break. You’ve had a really bad year.”
“I can’t give up the Second Chance Ranch,” she said, clearly holding on by a thread. “I’ve lost so much, Ray. I can’t lose anything more.”
Maybe it was her passion for her cause. Or maybe it was the tear streaking down one cheek.
Or maybe it was the way she said his name.
But he couldn’t fight the urge any longer, and finally, after a year and a half of resisting, he kissed Lacey McDaniel.
Eighteen
S
URPRISE HELD LACEY
still as Ray’s mouth settled on hers.
She hadn’t been kissed in a year, not this way. Not in a man-woman sexual way. And there was no question that this was not just a comfort kiss. His hands clasped her shoulders, and the sensation of his fingertips just below her sleeves sent tingles showering through her.
A tiny sigh escaped from her mouth, and he gathered her closer, his tongue teasing along the part of her lips. Heat and longing surged. God help her, she couldn’t resist. This might not be a kiss of comfort, but it felt so damn good. Wine hadn’t come close to unwinding the kinks in her tense shoulders, but the awakening of simple hormones blanketed her whole body with languid pleasure.
She reached up, her hands fluttering uncertainly at his shoulders for a moment. She’d been feeling so lost, hurt, scared, alone . . . hell, she couldn’t count the ways she needed this. And then she was all in. She kissed him back, fully, openly, her arms sliding around his neck.
She breathed in the scent of him, the faded hints of spicy aftershave mingling with the familiar smells of the clinic and dogs, both things that anchored her. His bristly jaw scraped her tender skin, not that he kissed her too hard, just that he grew facial hair fast and thick, the gentle abrasion a contrast to the warm, melting sweetness of the kiss.
He sipped her like fine wine, careful and reverent, as if he’d been waiting to savor her for a long time. Funny how she felt that in just a kiss, but she did. His hands slid into her curls, tilting her face for the best angle, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones and her temples. Most of all, the kiss made her feel like a desirable woman instead of . . . whatever she’d been for this last hellish year alone with too many responsibilities and worries.
Don’t think. Don’t think.
She couldn’t let anything intrude on just this one simple pleasure she was taking for herself. Soon, she would set this feeling aside and move forward. But tonight, with the world fracturing and falling apart in pieces so small she couldn’t hold them, she would take Ray Vega’s amazing tenderness and hug it close.
Behind her closed eyes, she let the sensations flow. Strong hands skimming down her back, her breasts grazing his powerful chest. Sheltered in the circle of his arms, Lacey soaked in the feeling of safety and caring, her skin coming alive with every shift of his hands on her.
More
. Not questioning the need to be touched, something so very essential, she felt him everywhere. Her palms ran up his arms and curved around his shoulders finding more muscle as she went. The vitality of him recharged her, as if she could absorb all that heat and strength right into her.
He lowered her to the thick towels, following her down as he kissed her. His body stretched alongside her, one leg beside hers, one between hers, the unmistakable evidence of his desire lodged against her hip in a way that sent sparks through her nerve endings and upped the stakes in a hurry. An answering longing pooled between her thighs, and she couldn’t suppress the small, needy moan that pulled from her throat.
Ray’s lips left hers to kiss a path down her neck. Her pulse beat fast underneath the sweep of his tongue, desire building swiftly. His hand skimmed over her hip and slid beneath the hem of her blouse, covering her ribs just beneath her breast.
The cool air swept over her bare skin, bringing her back to reality of what she was about to do. What
they
were minutes away from doing. She couldn’t tell herself “don’t think” anymore.
Gathering up all her will, she clasped his wrist and carefully removed it from her blouse. Panting with barely restrained desire, she whispered against his lips, “I can’t do this. I’m sorry . . .”
He went still over her, dragging in ragged breath after breath before he rolled off her, lying on the floor next to her, with his arm over his eyes.
Sitting up, she tried to blink away the pleasure still coursing through her and wondered how she could feel so certain and confused at the same time. Kissing Ray had been a surprise, not just because he did it, but how much she enjoyed it. But she couldn’t escape the fact that she didn’t feel ready. She hadn’t even taken off her wedding band yet.