She's the Boss (29 page)

Carter stared rigidly ahead, but I wasn’t quite finished yet. My breath may have run out but my words hadn’t. “This whole outsourcing business, it’s not about the survival of the business, is it?”

The silence was crippling.

“Is it? I demanded. “No. It’s so you and all the shareholders can watch your bank accounts get nice and fat and juicy. I’ve heard this bullcrap one too many times. About how corporations must lay off workers, outsource and offshore because it is a necessary sacrifice, only to hear about back door deals with senior execs later on. This is not capitalism. This is CRONY capitalism.”

Carter winced as if I’d just thrown an unfair but accurate punch. “All right, Karsynn, that’s enough now!” he said impatiently. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. And right now, there are other more important things I need to discuss with you.”

“Like what?” I asked wearily.

He slid a stack of papers across his desk. “Please look this over and meet with your team members today.”

I felt a pulse of dark anticipation, a sickening dread.

As I stole a quick glance, the words ‘NOTICE OF TERMINATION’ jumped back at me.

“Are we firing everyone today?”

“No. We’re keeping most of the supervisors and team leads. Ninety percent of the calls have already been rerouted to the call centers we have in India, Malaysia and the Philippines. We’ll maintain a skeletal crew here until the end of this month.”

“And after that? Everyone will be gone?”

Carter chose not to answer my question. “We’d like to retain you as Project Manager. In the next few months, Zimm plans on buying out Intelifon, so they’ll looking to set up seven new call centers in India and the Philippines.”

I sank further back in my chair, frustrated and exhausted.

“Have you ever fired anyone?” Carter’s voice was gentler, kinder.

I couldn’t speak. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.

Carter went on, “Think of it as a necessary evil. You know the saying, fire fast, hire slowly. So be direct, be swift, be clear and be concise. Don’t try and sugarcoat things and don’t try to soften the blow.”

I nodded, not feeling capable of saying anything else.

There was a pause until he asked, “Have you watched
Moneyball
?”

“That movie with Brad Pitt?”

“Yep.”

“No,” I replied despondently, “I haven’t.”

“Well, there’s this line from the movie . . . would you rather take a bullet to the head or five to the chest and bleed to death?”

I briefly mulled over the alternatives. “I’d rather have a flesh wound and live.”

“That wasn’t one of the options.” Carter sighed heavily. “Would you like to do a dry-run together?”

“I guess,” I responded halfheartedly.

He simply sat there, waiting.

“Oh, I’m supposed to go first? Right.” I had to clear my throat twice before I could begin. “Carter, I am sorry to inform you that your employment is terminated as a result of company restructuring. You’ll receive one week’s severance pay. Any vacation you have accrued will also be paid with your final check. And . . . um, we value you immensely and thank you for all your contributions.”

Carter lightly tapped a finger on his chin and posed a question. “If you value me, then why are you laying me off?”

“I-I . . .” I found myself become correspondingly more tongue tied. “I’m sorry, Carter. I can’t do this.” I sat staring at the stack of pink slips and it occurred to me that I might not be strong enough for this. “I really can’t do this. I can’t fire my friends.” In desperation, I heard myself say, “There has to be another way.”

“There is no other way.”

“Don’t you people have a conscience?” My voice carried a trace of accusation.

“Newsflash, Kars, corporations aren’t real people so truly, they can’t have a conscience.”

“But the people running it
should
have a conscience. Tell me this—” I fixed him with an eagle glare. “The decision to close down this call center, was it entirely your idea?”

“No.” He paused, his eyes distant. “I was very much against it. I had advocated offshoring some of the work overseas but never shutting down the centers here.”

“So what happened?”

He sighed resignedly. “I was outvoted by the board of directors.”

Perhaps Carter did have a vestige of a conscience after all.

“And how long have you known about this?”

“For a while. I knew it would happen sooner or later. I just hadn’t anticipated it would be this soon.”

There was an ugly pause.

I felt the weight of responsibility I didn’t deserve.

Eventually, Carter broke the silence. “Linda from HR will be with you when you meet with your agents.”

“What for?”

“You need someone from HR present as a witness. Also, your agents can discuss benefits and such with Linda afterward. And it’s a good way for you to CYA.”

I barely had the energy to nod. And if I’d had the energy, I’m sure I would’ve cried.

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Carter said wearily. “You’re just doing your job.”

I swallowed the sawdust in my throat. “Then why does it feel so wrong?”

Chapter Twenty One

“You ready to do this?”

I brought my gaze back to Linda’s impassive face. “Not really.”

“Karsynn,” she said kindly, “firing employees is a necessary evil. It is how supervisors and leaders earn their scars.”

I sucked in my breath and steeled myself, but I was having trouble summoning the energy to even begin. My heart, my head, my feet felt heavy.

There was a fraction of a pause. “Right,” said Linda. “You need to call in the first one right now.”

My heart was thumping erratically as I punched in Nina Romero’s extension. When her phone beeped, I heard myself say in a stilted voice, “Nina, can you please come see me at the Lightning Four Conference Room?”

“Sure thing,” she replied.

“Now remember,” Linda offered her free counsel, “Nina may take the news calmly, she may break down in tears or she may get very angry. Perhaps even violent. I’ve seen some agents go through all of those stages and more. Don’t assume that she’ll take her severance notice quietly and walk away without a fuss. It always helps if you accept her rage in a calm and collected manner.”

Silently, I nodded.

Linda continued, “After she reviews the severance package and signs the release form, do not let her linger. Tell her that she has to leave the business premises immediately. We’ll make a short stop at her desk so she can pack up her personal items. Then we’ll escort her to the security gates.”

I cast an apprehensive, frowning look at Linda. “Why?”

“We don’t want to give her the chance to steal company files, destroy computer data or change any computer passwords.”

Seconds later, Nina walked into the conference room and sat down. Numbly, I went through the motions of delivering the life-draining news, feeling as if I were watching myself from a distance.

When I’d finished, I gave Nina some time to absorb everything.

I twisted my fingers nervously. “Do you have any questions?”

“I can change,” Nina said at once. I saw her red cheeks, her resolute eyes. “I really can.”

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say anything, Nina plundered on, “I’ll do better at selling. I promise. I’ll build rapport with the callers and I’ll follow up on every sale. I’ll come in thirty minutes early to study. Or I can take a pay cut. I can even take another position for half the pay or I could work fewer hours.” I heard the sheer desperation in her voice, pleading, imploring.

“It-it’s,” I stammered, “it’s um, not you. It’s-it’s Lightning Speed. Sorry, it’s Zimm Communications.” Oh God. This sounded like a bad break up. “I’m so sorry, Nina.”

Scar one.

Next, Ben Harper was in the hot seat. I eyed him warily, wondering what was the best approach. In the end I decided directness was the answer.

“You can’t do this to me!” Ben shouted. He was panic-stricken and it looked like all the blood had drained from his face. “How the hell am I supposed to tell my wife that we no longer have health insurance?” He stood up and began pacing the floor, walking back and forth in a belligerent disbelief. “TELL ME!” He drew his fist into the wall. “I have three kids and my wife is pregnant. Our fourth kid is due this Christmas.”

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” I said gently.

“This is what I get for working my ass off for this company?” he demanded and I had no words for him.

Security was brought in before Ben could do any more damage.

Scar two.

Then it was Inge’s turn. She looked at me with sudden anxiety, grasping hold of my hand, pressing her fingernails into my palm. “But what will I do?” she asked tearfully.

“I’m so sorry, Inge.” I squeezed her hand. “I know you’ll be OK.”

The truth was, I didn’t know if any of them would be OK. There was no tangible certainty.

I kept on talking while Inge simply sat there, concentrating on the severance package I’d laid out before her, struggling to make sense of it. Her chin started quivering and she began to cry. “Where do I sign?”

Scar three.

Next, it was Truong’s turn.

He smiled at me, but his smile seemed forced. “Is this some sort of cruel joke?”

“No, Truong. Trust me, I wish it were.”

I could see it in his rigid posture, how badly he wanted to believe that it did not faze him. But I knew better. He had expected a merger or a buyout. Not this. And as I sat staring at one of my very best friends and one of the top agents on my team, I felt again my own self-reproach. I heard myself speaking, saw Truong nodding, and yet I felt like I was not fully present.

Eventually, I stopped talking. There wasn’t anything I could say that would change things. There wasn’t anything I could say that would ease his pain. In fact, the very act of speaking just seemed like an insult.

When I rose to console Truong with a hug, he stiffened.

Scar four.

At this point, I was cracking at the seams. I felt personally responsible for their pain and I could barely summon up the strength to hold it together any longer.

There was a tentative little tap on the door, then Cynthia Rowley came walking in. She was an elderly woman with a sweet disposition, and she reminded me a lot of my own Aunt Cynthia. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this to her.

Before I could even begin, Cynthia took my hand in hers. “I know you have to do this, my dear. And I know you don’t want to. And I know that it weighs heavily on your conscience. But it’s OK,” she said kindly, “it’s about that time for me to retire anyway.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully, feeling my emotions swelling inside me like a balloon. “Thank you for making this easy on me.”

Numbly, I went through all the requisite paperwork, and when it was finally over, Cynthia sat smiling at me with warmth spilling into her eyes and I almost came undone. “I’d like to give you a blessing, my child.”

“You do?” I asked in some surprise. “What kind of blessing?”

“It is a Franciscan Blessing and I know it will speak to your heart.”

“Um, OK,” I said a little uncertainly.

“Good!” Cynthia reached across the table and clasped my hand once more.

Not really sure how to react, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to appear reverent.

Cynthia began, “May God bless you with restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.”

I pried one eye open, thinking the blessing was over. It wasn’t.

“May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.” Cynthia gave my hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it.