Shift (27 page)

‘Your dad brought us here?’ Billie is the first to speak.

‘Why would he do that?’ Carrie asks/accuses.

‘My dad just texts me if he wants to see me,’ offers GG.

‘I’m not saying that’s definitely what happened,’ the Moth counters.

‘But you’re pretty sure it is, aren’t you?’ Billie says. ‘This is Rev’s dad’s fault, isn’t it?’ She says this to the rest of the group, as
if I’m not there, or worth including. I’m already the enemy in her eyes.

Eyes that turned black I remind myself.

‘When did your dad go missing?’ Johnson is calm but there’s no escaping the shock he’s trying to suppress. I can sense it on him.

‘Twelve years ago. When she was four.’ Billie is answering for me, again behaving as if I’m not present in the room.

‘And he could’ve . . . well, he could’ve found another world and not been able to come back.’

‘I—’ That’s all I get to to say because Billie cuts right across me.

‘So finally he does find his way back, but in coming through, he makes a mess of things and we get shifted to here. Moth? What d’you think? Is that possible?’

The Moth takes a moment, wants desperately to give the right answer. But it’s also an impossible answer to give. ‘I haven’t read enough yet,’ he says quietly.

‘So read more.’ Billie is much more assertive than I have ever seen her.

Johnson takes her in and I know for certain that he likes this tougher persona.

‘So why didn’t we get shifted again when he did finally come through outside Tesco’s?’ Carrie asks, and for once I’m glad of her. Because I know they’re all
thinking it, that I have somehow been the catalyst for this nightmare. And what’s worse is, I’m thinking it as well.

I can’t feel anything, apart from a massive and sudden migraine as my head throbs. ‘That can’t be,’ I say barely audibly. ‘It can’t.’ Tears are welling
in my eyes and I try and hold them back as my throat swells. ‘No. Not possible. He’s long gone. Why would he want to find me? Why now? No. That can’t be.’ My teary eyes find
Johnson’s again. ‘Can it?’

Johnson keeps it gentle. ‘We’re just thinking aloud, Rev, making connections. Everything has connections, right?’

‘It’s
her
dad, Rev Two. W-we all know that,’ I stammer.

‘We don’t really know anything,’ offers the Moth. ‘And none of this explains why the other versions of us are here as well, but I’ll keep reading,’ he
declares with as much care as he can. ‘I’ll work it all out, and once I do, we can go home.’ They are brave and proud words and I know the Moth is trying to keep us all sane, but
I’m still too numb to really take it in. Someone who could be my dad has been looking for me? For twelve years? He didn’t run away without a word, he literally disappeared into thin air
and he’s been tramping through the multiverse trying to find a way back ever since.
All those worlds
, I think,
and he kept going because he wanted to see me and Mum again
. I
have no idea how he’ll explain any of this to her, but that isn’t really the point. He’s trying to come home and that’s all that matters.

‘Just get us back, Moth.’ Billie has leaned back into Johnson so that he is half forced to prop her up.

‘Yeah, take us home, Hawkings. Be my hero.’ The slightly drunk Carrie pats the Moth’s arm in encouragement.

Johnson shifts in his seat and to Billie’s annoyance he gently sits her up straighter. ‘But how can we leave without Rev’s dad?’

‘
If
it’s her dad. The other Rev thought it was
her
dad, so she can take him home.’ Billie is again talking without looking at me.

‘But what if it isn’t?’ Johnson looks directly at me – into me. ‘We can’t leave without him, not after he’s this close.’

Johnson is so spectacularly right and I want to go over and hug him. I’m not leaving without my dad, though from the looks on everyone else’s faces they don’t seem to
agree.

‘He was burned to a crisp, I don’t think he’ll be going anywhere,’ says Billie and again there’s harshness in her tone.

I catch her eye and she must see she’s overstepped the mark because she quickly tries to compensate.

‘OK, OK. How about this? We’ll come back for him,’ she adds. ‘Once the Moth has figured out how it all works, Rev can zip back here, with an ambulance crew if
necessary.’

I can’t believe Billie just said that. An ambulance crew? Was that a joke?
This is my father
, I want to yell at her. But is it even
her
? I need to get her alone, to tell
her about her eyes turning black, to warn her that something is happening to her and she isn’t the Billie I know.

‘D’you think they could shift an ambulance?’ Billie continues, but no one is listening – they’re all too focused on the awkwardness of her joke. If it is a
joke.

Another round of silence pins us all to our seats and the only person who is unaffected by it is the Ape who shoves his empty plate away from him and looks to GG. ‘Got any ice
cream?’

GG gives him a wide-eyed excited look. ‘So glad you asked. I made a pavlova.’

‘What’s that?’

‘You’ll see.’

GG pads off to the kitchen.

‘Why don’t you come and sit here with me?’ the Ape suggests to Billie.

‘You’re actually talking to me?’ Billie asks.

‘Later you can see the room I chose.’

Billie gives him a dark piercing look. ‘Guess what. It’s a no thanks.’

‘You’re just saying that.’

Billie seems to be making damn sure Johnson knows that there is nothing between her and the Ape. I wonder if she is haunted by the Non-Ape and Another-Billie’s apparent
‘relationship’.

‘I’m just saying what every girl you’ve ever asked out says to you.’

The Ape shrugs. ‘I do very good with the ladies.’

‘You do nothing. And you know why? Because you’re stupid, fat and disgusting.’

‘Billie,’ I say, trying to keep her calm.

But Billie isn’t finished yet. ‘Don’t defend him! I was in a changing room and he pulled the curtain back to take a peek. Perv!’

‘And you weren’t alone,’ I say, almost too quickly.

‘So?’ Billie is shouting now. ‘That’s not the point.’

‘If Johnson was allowed in then how come I wasn’t?’ asks the Ape.

‘Because some things are private, you oaf!’

I’m not sure I want to hear any more.

‘She wanted help with a zip,’ Johnson says to everyone, but his eyes stay on me – but I don’t believe him.

‘So why close the curtain?’ The Ape is making it all the more painful for me without realising it.

‘Because,’ says Billie.

The whole table wants to hear why now. That is, everyone except me. I remain staring down at my plate.

‘Because what?’ Carrie just has to know.

‘Because I . . .’ Billie falters. ‘Because maybe I . . .’

I can feel her looking over at me and she must be wondering why I’m not looking at her.

‘Maybe I pulled the curtain across, OK?’ Which is all she needs to reveal, because everyone is getting the picture now. I lift my head a little to see Johnson looking straight at me.
So Billie called him into the cubicle and then pulled the curtain closed behind them – no need to ask what she was planning.

The Ape belches again. ‘That’s what I think of that,’ he tells Billie.

Billie looks like she’s about to lose it completely. Clearly she was going to try something with Johnson, and the Ape loomed up and ruined it for her.

And there it is again, just a millisecond, but her eyes flicker to blackness. Like a lizard’s blink but even quicker. They flick again, blazing blue then black then blazing Irish blue
again.

‘I’ve had it with you,’ she screams at the Ape. ‘I’m done being around you. And you know why,
Ape
? Because you’re hideous. You’re ugly and a
slob. There’s no one in this world, or our world, or any other world come to that, who would want anything to do with you.’

‘Billie, enough,’ I warn.

Billie gets to her feet and looms over the Ape who has fallen silent in the face of her onslaught. ‘Get the message. We don’t want you here. No one does. You’re not one of us.
You should find somewhere else, another universe, because
we
do not want anything to do with
you
!’

Her eyes flicker once more and in the darkness is another darkness. Something from a deeply unsettled soul.

‘You need to understand that there is no room for you anywhere. Even in an empty world there is just no room for an Ape. So why don’t you take your simian self up to your room, lock
the door behind you and never come out again. We’ll leave you here. You said you liked this world right, so here’s your big chance. When I get back I’ll go round to your
mum’s and tell her you won’t be coming back, like ever. I’ll take a bottle of champagne and we’ll celebrate together.’

The Ape looks down at his empty plate and opens his mouth, looks set to say something, but then stops and closes his mouth again.

‘Ape.’ Johnson can see he is hurt.

The Ape doesn’t respond.

‘Billie didn’t mean that, we’re all just on edge,’ I say.

The Ape slowly gets to his feet. He is still looking down at his plate as if it holds all the answers. ‘I got this,’ he says very quietly.

‘Ape, c’mon, sit down,’ says Carrie. ‘Pudding’s coming.’ Even she seems to be surprised by Billie’s harshness.

‘I’m good,’ he mumbles.

‘Ape, sit back down,’ encourages Johnson. ‘Tell him, Billie, tell him you didn’t mean that.’

‘Every word,’ she says straight to the Ape. ‘I meant every single word.’

‘In the car you said you needed me,’ the Ape says, before stopping to compile the rest of his thoughts. Billie has turned completely away from him, so he has to speak to the back of
her head. ‘That’s what you said. Driving and doing violence. You needed me for that.’

‘We needed you then. We don’t now.’

With that the Ape nods his great head. ‘OK,’ he says, and then with a self-conscious rub of his bruised chest he lumbers slowly away from the dinner table. I glance at Billie, who is
unremitting in her rage and hatred.

‘You didn’t need to say that,’ I tell her.

‘C’mon, Rev, you find him just as annoying as the rest of us do.’

‘Go after him,’ I say.

‘You go after him.’

I turn and see the Ape hovering at the door, possibly hoping for some nice words from Billie that will make everything all right again. But when none come he turns and slopes humbly away. I get
to my feet to go after him.

‘I just said what you’re all thinking,’ she says defiantly. Her horrendous attack has confirmed that I don’t think this is any Billie I’ve ever known.

‘No, you’re not.
I’m
not thinking that. He saved us.’

‘Twice,’ adds Johnson.

‘All he did was commit gross violence. It just so happened we got some benefit from it.’ Billie folds her arms in front of her.

‘I’m going to go see him,’ I say, despite her. I have no idea where my best friend has gone.

‘Uh, there was one more thing,’ says the Moth, his nasally voice echoing through the empty dining hall.

I want to go after the Ape, but Johnson stretches out a leg and pushes my chair out for me so I can sit back down. It’s a simple movement but it’s one that tells me he wants me here,
where he can see me. ‘Be quick, Moth,’ I tell him.

‘It’s just a thought, but if this other Billie can heal people like you say, then if she brings the burned man back to life then he could feasibly take us home. And that’s all
of us, the other usses as well.’

‘Usses? Is that even a word?’ says Billie in that hard tone. ‘And I’m not going back through any flames, because it seems to me that Rev’s dad doesn’t
actually know what he’s doing, considering he’s been wandering around lost for so many years, and then when he does find what he’s looking for he goes and gets himself burned to
death. C’mon, the man’s seriously not the answer here. If he was, the other usses wouldn’t need the Moth, would they?’

The man is my father
, I think, and Billie’s basically calling him an idiot.
Who are you, Billie? What the hell have you become?

The Moth stalls but then tries to get back on track. ‘But maybe with his theories and me helping, then maybe there’s a way.’

‘I’m not spending the next twelve years on a maybe.’

‘Nice try, Hawkings,’ says Carrie slurping the last of the red wine. But it’s said with a smile and the Moth smiles back. Yeah, there’s definitely something building
between them.

GG waltzes back through with his pavlova. ‘Ta da!’ He then looks around and sees that the Ape has gone. ‘Where’s the gorilla?’

No one answers because we’re all still a little embarrassed by Billie’s attack on him.

‘Hello?’ GG says in his sing-song voice. ‘Anyone want pavlova? I spent ages on this.’

GG starts cutting up the pavlova and dishing it out. He’s fussing around us, trying to be maternal and paternal all rolled into one. He’s no longer wearing his chef’s hat
– it must have fallen off in the kitchen.

Carrie finds the sight of the rich creamy pavlova too much for her alcohol fuelled stomach and pushes away from the table. She gets unsteadily to her feet, her face looking a little green.
‘I’ve drunk too much. Need some air.’

‘Be very careful if you go outside,’ says the Moth.

‘I will.’

‘Don’t stray too far,’ he adds – their eyes meet and I know Kyle is already a distant memory for Carrie.

‘If you see the Ape—’ I begin.

‘I’ll drag him back.’ She looks at me and it seems finally we have found a moment’s peace between us. The war’s over. She senses it too as she nods to me and then
heads for the door before stopping and, just like the Ape did a few minutes ago, turning back to the table. ‘I really want to go home.’ She looks at the Moth though and there’s a
kindness there, a sense of care and warmth for him. ‘So take me home, Hawkings. Promise me.’

The Moth nods, sits up taller and tries to look convincing. ‘Course I will.’

‘Thank you,’ she whispers before turning and leaving the room.

We watch her and her footsteps are faint and delicate and it’s as if she can barely make an impression she is so light.