Shift (39 page)

We’re back in our seats. The three of us. Me, GG and the Ape. It happens in the blink of an eye and then the door opens and Mr Allwell walks back in. The fire alarm has
stopped and everything is quiet again. Quiet and unbelievably normal.

‘That was strange. There was this flash of heat and we thought for a second the school was on fire—’ He stops when he realises only three of us are sitting there.
‘Where’d the others go? And where’s your uniform, Reva? ’

I stare emptily at him, devoid of everything that went into making me. I’m sitting there in the present but in reality I’m history. I died with both of the Johnsons. I can’t
bear the agony of their loss and I’m already thinking that all it’ll take is a handful of tablets and then I’m gone for good. I don’t think I can handle one heartbreak, let
alone two. And Billie . . . I can’t even think about her, because I know I will just disintegrate completely.

‘Hello?’ Allwell tries to get our attention, but he’ll never reach any of us.

Outside, the Ape wants to walk me home. GG does as well but he’s looking shell-shocked as everything is starting to hit him hard and it sinks in that five of us
didn’t make it back.

‘What do we tell people?’ he asks.

‘I dunno,’ I say simply. ‘Who would believe it?’

‘Billie’s dad,’ he says. ‘He’ll want to know, he’ll ask us . . . And the Moth and Lucas’s parents and Carrie’s and . . . and . . .’ GG knows
better than to bring up Johnson’s name. ‘Well, they’ll want to know and I have no idea what to tell them.’

My head is spinning. I can barely think straight.

‘I need to go home,’ I tell them.

‘I’ll come with you,’ says the Ape.

‘No. I need some time. I’ll call you. Both of you.’

‘Promise?’ asks GG, as if he can sense I’m planning on not calling anyone ever again.

‘Yeah. Cross my heart.’

GG gives me a warm and tight hug and I can feel his quiet tears on my cheeks. ‘I haven’t even got a joke right now.’

He pulls away and I turn to the Ape. He is awkward and unsure. Intimacy doesn’t sit well with him but I grab him and hug him regardless. ‘You big Ape,’ I whisper.

‘It’s Dazza,’ he says, and slopes away.

GG goes with him and I watch until they have disappeared over the top of a rise.

I don’t know how I get home. I am hunched over, huddling into myself and staring at the ground. I look at my feet, watching them carrying me along, but that’s all I see. I can sense
people around me, coming my way, then passing, but I don’t look up. I’ll never look up again in fact. I know it. I just won’t ever, not ever, do anything but bow my head and try
not to cry for the rest of my life.

When I open the door to my flat I can hear the bath taps running. Mum is home.

I check my look in the hall mirror but I don’t see anyone I recognise. I’ve changed inside and out, done and felt things that no sixteen-year-old should ever have to deal with.
But I’m not dealing with them
, I remind myself.
I’m just not that strong
.

I take a seat and slip my phone out of my pocket. Unsurprisingly it’s out of battery charge. I can’t believe it’s lasted this long. In fact, I don’t even know when it
died. I find the plug for it and out of habit switch it back on again.

It takes over a minute to boot up and in that minute a lifetime passes through me. I was meant to end up back here with at least one Johnson, that’s how stories always pan out. The guy
gets the girl or the girl gets the guy.

My phone powers on and immediately buzzes with a text.

It’s from Kyle.
Hey you coming? xx

He is still at his parents’ waiting for me. But he’s going to spend the rest of his life waiting because there’s no way I’m going round to see him.

The bathroom door opens and my mother emerges. She is wrapped in a towel and has pinned her hair up.

‘Mum!’ I shout and throw my arms around her.

‘Steady,’ she says, returning my hug. I feel her kiss the top of my head. ‘You OK? What’s happened?’

I don’t respond. I just hold her as tightly as I can.

‘Well it’s good to see you, too.’ She eases out of my hug and takes a long look at me.

‘Have you been crying?’

‘A little,’ I say choking back my despair.

My mum remembers that the bath tap is still running and darts back into the bathroom. ‘Wait there, don’t want to flood the place.’

Another text comes through from Kyle.
Rev? I’m waiting!!

I text back and relish it.
Go away.

I lay my phone down and walk into the kitchen, crossing to the window and gazing out. Outside, there is a life and a world I just can’t face. I hope that GG will understand and then he can
spend the rest of his life explaining it to the Ape.

‘Rev?’ my mum calls, and I head back out into the cramped hallway.

‘Yeah?’

My phone beeps with more texts but I ignore them.

‘I know you’re upset so how about you take your mind off things and help me with these.’ My mum opens her hand and shows me her nails.

Only they aren’t nails. They’re talons.

I look up into my mum’s eyes and she is as warm and friendly and scatty as she ever was.

‘They need filing and you know how I come over all funny when I have to do it.’

I back away – it’s an instinctive knee-jerk reaction.

‘Rev?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘No.’

My phone beeps again and I turn and grab it. There are a cluster of texts all sent hours ago, when I was in the other world, and because my phone was out of battery I didn’t know they were
in my inbox.

They’re from Johnson.

Where r u?

I’m with Billie and Moth. We got out of the hotel.

We’re going to try and get to the school.

Try and drive a car if I can.

Rev??

Pls tell me u r ok.

I am choked with amazement. They’re still alive.

My non-mum advances on me.

‘Rev, nails?’

‘Uh, yeah, uh, can you give me a minute?’

My non-mum smiles and a familiar glint of metal sparkles in her mouth. ‘You sure you’re OK?’

I walk as casually as I can into my bedroom and make a phone call with what little charge the phone has taken.

The Ape picks up on the second ring.

‘Missing me already?’ he says.

‘It’s the wrong world,’ I hiss. ‘We’re in theirs.’

‘Whose world?’

‘
Theirs
. The others. The ones we were fighting!’ Doesn’t he get anything?

‘Didn’t you notice?’

‘Wait one.’

I listen in and hear a front door opening in the Ape’s flat. There’s a long, long silence which becomes excruciating.

Then the Ape finally comes back on the line. ‘You’re right. My front door was locked, this one’s open.’

‘What took you so long?’

‘Nothing.’ He sounds too innocent.

‘What did you just do?’

‘Didn’t have to do anything. My mum’s fast asleep drunk, just like always.’ He’s so matter-of-fact I almost think I’m dreaming. ‘But she’s also
turned some weird green colour.’

I have to take a moment to stay calm. ‘We need to get GG and go back,’ I tell him.

‘Second that.’

‘Johnson,
our
Johnson, and the others are still alive. He sent me texts when my phone was dead. They got out of the hotel.’

I turn round and to my shock my non-mum is standing there watching and listening with a growing sense of curiosity.

My eyes meet hers. ‘Oh, and we, uh, we might need to fight our way back there,’ I tell the Ape.

‘Yowza.’

I hang up and turn to my non-mum. She is already sensing that something is different about me.

‘Are those burn marks on your arms?’

‘I’ve got to go out,’ I tell her.

‘Why didn’t Billie make them better?’ she asks.

My phone beeps with another text.

‘Have you two fallen out?’ my non-mum pushes.

‘I left something back at the school,’ I tell her, hoping she’ll let me pass. I make to move, but she steps in my way and eyes me with a coldness my real mum would never
possess.

‘I hope it’s your school uniform,’ she says, taking in a green dress she never knew I owned.

I remain silent, thinking,
Let me pass, please, just let me pass
.

Non-mum’s hand closes round my wrist. ‘Reva. Talk to me.’

I still don’t answer her. Instead I glance down at my phone and see that the text is from the Ape.

And it makes everything I’m planning seem possible.

I got this.

Things aren’t always achievable on your own, so my gratitude goes to my amazing editor Jane Griffiths for all the clever suggestions that worked an absolute treat. And
the book wouldn’t have been seen by anyone if it wasn’t for Valerie Hoskins and Rebecca Watson doing the hard yards. Sara Moore gets name checked because she so got the book.

Ingrid Selberg, Elv Moody, Kathryn McKenna and Elisa Offord are now my favourite ever people in publishing.

My brother Tim said the book sounded like a good idea and my sister Mandy agreed.

Jenni and Niamh Stewart read an early draft and they agreed that it
was
indeed a good idea.

And for anyone who loves Johnson, a boy by the name of Tom Wiggins was the template.