shift happens 03 - no were to run (18 page)

“Seth, Lenny, thank you,” I said. “Could you give us a minute here?”

They nodded and left. Nicolai eyed me cautiously. He was still ready to blow, but I could tell he was fine as long as I was near.

“I want you to meet me in my suite at seven tonight. Can you do that?”

He was speechless as he narrowed his eyes in confusion. I watched him search for the catch.

“Cat got your tongue?” I asked with a smirk. My calm tone belied my churning insides.

“No,” he said slowly. “I’m just trying to figure out if I’m being played here.”

“You’re not.”

“You’re sure?” he asked, meaning far more than just the fact I’d asked him to my suite.

“Very,” I said as I turned and walked away. I was aware that his eyes were glued to my ass, but I’d have done the same to him.

I could be making a grave mistake, but I was going in with eyes wide open. If it went poorly, Daniel was nowhere near and he would always be safe.

My baby was my first and most important concern—and that would never change.

Chapter 14

“Does this look okay?” I asked Maria as I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my image with a critical eye. The fitted green dress matched my eyes and showed just enough cleavage to be sexy, not slutty. It was quite short and flirty and—shit…what in the hell was I doing?

Maria laughed at me as she valiantly tried to rearrange the pillows and throws in my suite to cover the scorch marks all over the furniture.

“You could wear a garbage bag and you’d be gorgeous,” she replied, finally satisfied that she’d covered the worst of the damage that Nicolai and I had caused to my living quarters the other day.

“You’re just silly,” I said as I flopped down on a chair and began to second-guess my hasty decision to invite Nicolai into my lair.

“Nope, I’m honest. And while I’m being honest, I’d really like to borrow those shoes at some point. They fucking rock.”

“You can borrow anything you want if you clean up that mouth of yours,” I told her with a laugh as I glanced down at the fabulous nude Chanel stilettos my niece so admired.

“You sound like a mother,” she shot back with an eye roll.

“I am a mother.”

Her observation made my stomach sink. Could I really tell Nicolai about Daniel? If he was furious would he go after my child? In my heart I didn’t think so, but I also didn’t think fathers were capable of murdering mothers and sons—or chasing their daughter for hundreds of years to kill her. My warped version of family life haunted me endlessly. I suppose it colored everything I did.

“So you’re going to tell him about Daniel?” Maria asked as she sat on the arm of my chair and smoothed my wild curls out of my face.

“I think so.”

“What does it feel like to find your true mate?” she asked with huge eyes and a grin.

“It’s fucked up,” I muttered.

“Wait, I’m not allowed to talk like that, but you are?” she demanded as she shoved me over and wedged herself into the chair with me.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. That was uncalled for, but it’s still accurate,” I told her, turning my body sideways so we could both fit.

We were smushed, but it was wonderful. I was nose to nose with my brother’s beautiful, foul mouthed, precious child. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this moment would happen.

“I want you to mate with him,” she whispered as she traced my nose with her finger. “I just found you. I don’t want you to die.”

“It’s not that simple,” I told her, closing my eyes and enjoying her touch. “If it was, I would have followed my instincts immediately.”

“Do you love him?”

“I’m not sure I even know what that means,” I admitted. “I know I love Daniel and I love you. That I understand.”

Maria’s eyes misted and she pressed her forehead to mine. “I love you too. Do you know how I know?”

“How?”

“There is no doubt in my mind that I would die for you—and Daniel. I’ve not laid eyes on him, but I feel a possessiveness that I’ve never known.”

I sat up and pulled her with me. Putting my arms around her I hugged her. I would do the same for her and Essie and my friends in Hung. Slowly I let my mind consider if I would step willingly into peril for Nicolai…Would I?

The thought of harm coming to him made me breathless and agitated. My Dragon perked up and slid close to the surface, confirming that she too would let nothing happen to the leader of the Resistance. God, was this what love felt like?

It was terrifying, annoying, horrible and wonderful.

Pushing the thoughts away I stood and checked my reflection one last time. The armor was in place. However, the woman underneath was a mess.

“I’m leaving. Nicolai will be here soon,” Maria said as she stood next to me and caught my eyes in the reflective glass. “Follow you instincts and your heart. If it’s not meant to be, I will take care of you at the end and then I will watch over Daniel.”

I stared at the floor because words wouldn’t come.

“But please remember that I want you to stay.”

Silently, Maria let herself out as I was still trying to pull myself together.

***

I’d had three glasses of wine that did little to nothing to calm my nerves when the knock at the door I’d been expecting came. I stood on shaky legs that I couldn’t blame on the alcohol and slowly approached it.

“Who is it?” I called out and then smacked myself in the head.

“Are you serious?” Nicolai sounded amused, but tense.

Opening the door, I stepped back and let him in. I was glad I had something to hold onto because he’d dressed up and my knees became jelly in response. He wore his usual jeans, but he’d added a navy sport coat and a pinstriped green tailored shirt. His sheer beauty simply wasn’t fair.

“You take my breath away, Dima,” he said as he stared at me.

“Back at you,” I said shakily. “Would you like something to drink?”

I moved away so I didn’t lay my head on his chest and pour out my story all at once. Timing was crucial.

“Water would be good,” he said as he moved into the living room taking up all the space.

He was large, but it wasn’t just his size. It was everything about him.

“Here you go,” I said as I handed him a glass of water and then crossed to the other side of the room.

“I don’t bite,” he said with a chuckle as he sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him.

“I beg to differ,” I shot back with a grin remembering how he’d chomped on my fingers the first time we met.

I carefully made my way to the couch and sat. His weight depressed the cushions so much so that we were thigh to thigh and there was very little I could do about it. Of course I could get up and move…but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be exactly where I was.

“You stuck them in my mouth. What was I supposed to do?” he asked with a sexy laugh that pleased my inner Dragon.

“I was trying to gouge out your eyes,” I told him truthfully with an unapologetic shrug.

“Now there’s a lovely thought.”

The heat that was generated by us touching jumbled my train of thought. I was close enough to his lips to lean in and kiss him. I smiled at the thought.

“What are you thinking?” he asked. “And don’t say nothing.”

His eyes were hooded and the energy in the room was electric. I’d never wanted a man more in my long life. I didn’t know if it was nature’s way of bringing true mates together or if it was something akin to love. I just knew it was overwhelming and wildly exciting.

“I was wondering what your lips taste like.”

“My lips would be very pleased for you to find out.” He leaned in close and until we were a mere breath apart.

I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth to his. He tasted even better than he smelled. I opened my lips to his exploring tongue and felt such a sense of completion it made me dizzy.

“Mine,” he whispered into my open mouth. “You were made for me.”

His hands were everywhere at once and I matched his frenzied need to memorize each other’s bodies. Never had anything felt like this. It was as spiritual as it was carnal. With each touch I was catapulted into needing more. He was like a drug.

“I need all of you,” he demanded, looking as desperate as I felt.

“Yes,” I whispered as yanked my dress over my head. His hissed intake of breath was music to my ears and I tore at his shirt and coat. “I want you to touch me and I want to touch you.”

“Ask and you shall receive,” he murmured as he helped me with his clothes.

His hot mouth paved a wicked trail from my lips to my neck and I shuddered with delight. With little bites and nips that made me see stars, I wasn’t even aware that he’d somehow removed his jeans. We were now skin to skin except for my barely there panties and his white boxer briefs. I knew we should slow down, but I couldn’t remember why.

“You work fast,” I giggled. I watched his eyes begin to glow a brilliant green.

“I know what I want,” he whispered huskily as his hungry mouth latched on to my breast and sucked hard.

“Oh God,” I cried out as I arched into him, my body begging for more. “Shouldn’t we talk first and get to know each other better?”

His laugh went straight to the hot coil of need spiraling out of control in my lower body. “Do you want to know if I put the toilet seat down? Or if I snore?”

“Um…sure,” I gasped out as he went to work on my other breast and pinched the sensitive nipple of the one he’d just finished with.

“Yes to number one and no to number two.” His mouth moved greedily to my neck and he bit down in a spot that sent little shock waves through my body.

I screamed and realized I had no clue what I’d just asked him or what his answers were—and I didn’t care. I laced my fingers in his hair and pulled his lips to my mouth. Our tongues and teeth clashed as the kiss danced in a dangerously sexual rhythm.

“Tell me now if you want me to stop. I can’t guarantee I can, but if we go any farther I won’t be able to.”

“I don’t want to stop,” I said as I crawled on top of him and straddled his legs.

His hands clamped onto my ass and pulled me forward to feel his desire. I’d thought his temperature was hot before, but he was now positively volcanic. I rocked against his huge erection and felt my body go liquid.

“Goddamn, I want you so badly I can’t see straight,” he growled as he tore my panties from my body and plunged two fingers into my willing body while he pressed the heel of the same hand against my clitoris. “Gorgeous,” he said as my body jerked in orgasmic response to his expertise.

“Nicolai.” I gasped as he hit the spot that made my vision narrow. “We can’t mate yet.”

My Dragon Fire was dangerously close to flowing from my body and entering his. My words were rational, but my body was not on the same page. It was with my inner Dragon one hundred percent. I writhed against him like I was trying to crawl inside him. Control was nowhere to be found.

“Damn it, why?” he hissed as he pulled back with Herculean effort. “You want this as much as I do. Why are you fighting it?”

For a brief second I had no idea why I was fighting something that was so perfect—so right.

“If you want to say something, for the love of God, say it now,” Nicolai ground out holding on to his sanity by a thread.

And then I remembered. There was no good time to say it. And this was a particularly bad time, but the opening presented itself and I had to take it.

I should have spoken before we’d gone this far. What the hell was wrong with me?

“I have a son and if we mate I need to know you won’t kill him,” I blurted out on one terrified breath.

Time stood still as Nicolai’s green eyes burned into mine with an expression I couldn’t decipher. I was unsure what was happening, but it felt very wrong.

Nicolai’s body stiffened in shocked rage and he pushed me off of him in disgust. I fell ungracefully to the floor and buried my head in my knees. My heart shredded into tiny pieces. I should have trusted my gut. I was right and everyone else was wrong. This Dragon would never accept my child.

Nicolai wasn’t the man for me. Fate was a bitch and she lied.

“What exactly do you think of me?” he asked coldly taking me by surprise as he picked up his clothes and yanked them on jerkily. “You think me capable of taking the life of a child because I want his mother?”

My head jerked up and I stared at him strangely. What was he saying?

“It’s been done,” I said flatly. “My father did it to my mother’s first child from another mating.”

“You’re comparing me to your father? To the man who
skinned my sister alive
?” he asked so calmly the hair on my neck stood up.

His roar shook the walls of my suite and his fire shot furiously around the room. I stood up and faced him as my own fire erupted and tangled with his. I was very aware I’d possibly just made an enormous mistake, but it was out on the table and he hadn’t directly answered my question.