shift happens 03 - no were to run (21 page)

“You accused me of being capable of killing your son,” he bellowed and then dropped his head to his hands. “I would never kill your child—or any part of you.”

“I really do know that now,” I said with remorse. “And I’m truly sorry that I used the words I did, but in the same situation I would ask the same question. My words can’t be erased—and neither can yours.”

“I don’t even remember what I said,” he told me in agitation as he got up and rounded the table. “I was so angry that you would think that of me I couldn’t see straight.”

“You said that I killed fate with my vile words. You said I broke it,” I reminded him quietly. Repeating the words tore at my insides like a hot knife shredding my internal organs, but we needed to get all of this out of the way to move on. “And you were right. It’s okay, Nicolai. We will both be okay.”

“You will
not
be okay,” he hissed as his fists clenched at his sides. “You will die.”

“Everyone dies eventually,” I said with a brittle smile that came nowhere near to reaching my eyes. “My time has come and I will not prolong it because you pity me. I have far more pride and self-worth than that.”

“You think I pity you?” he demanded with an angry and confused shake of his head.

“I don’t think. I know.”

“There is a whole lot you don’t know, Dima…You’d have more time with your son. You’d choose death over your son?” he asked with narrowed eyes as he continued to move into my personal space.

“I choose my son above all else,” I said in an icy tone as I put my hand up in warning to stop him from coming closer. “You should know that better than anyone.”

“I can give you all the time in the world with your son if you mate with me.” He stopped his forward movement, but I could feel the heat from his body even five feet away.

“I’d rather my son see me at my strongest than a broken woman with a dead heart because she’d tethered herself to someone that despised and pitied her.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong, Princess. This is not easy for me because I’m
rarely
wrong, but…I was. I was very wrong,” he said as he ignored my hand and walked to me.

“Stop.” The agonized cry ripped from my chest. “Lies are beneath you. I don’t want you. This ended days ago. It’s not up for discussion.”

“Lies are beneath you as well,” Nicolai said as he took my hand and pulled me out of the chair.

We were face to face and it was terrifying because it felt so right.

“You still want me as badly as I want you. I can scent your desire and need. I can still taste your mouth,” he purred as he ran his calloused fingers over my trembling lips.

“Those are hormones,” I snapped and pulled away. “Lust means nothing. It sucks and so do you.”

I rolled my eyes at my adolescent response and dropped my head to my chest. I couldn’t win for losing at the moment. All I wanted to do was leave, but this had to be dealt with now. I wasn’t strong enough to leave it hanging anymore.

His laugh filled the room and I fought harder than I’d ever fought not to smile.

I succeeded.

“Let’s look at this a different way,” Nicolai suggested, clearly not giving up. “If you’re willing to waltz into your father’s chambers alone and possibly die for Daniel and our people, why wouldn’t you put your pride aside to live for your son and all Dragon kind?” he asked.

His logic was quite sneaky, but I was tired of playing this game.

“Because you would be part of it,” I lied even though it was brutally painful.

“Interesting,” he allowed as he sat down in the seat next to the one he’d pulled me out of. “I call bullshit on that, but we won’t discuss that falsehood at the moment. What if I agreed to leave you alone after we kill your father? You could live a happy long life with your son and I would be nowhere in it.”

“Why would you do that?” I demanded. “What do you have to gain?”

“I’d sleep better at night knowing my true mate was alive and happy.”

I slapped my hands down on the table in a rage. “We would be miserable apart, you idiot. If we mated and parted it would destroy us both.”

“Your death will undo me far more,” he growled.

“We’re not mated,” I shouted. “My death will not affect you. Are you daft?”

“As far as I’m concerned we’re already bonded except for the exchange of Dragon Fire. You are my every waking thought. Fate made us for each other. I do not accept your answer. I may have fucked up, but you have to give me the chance to make it right.”

“I can’t do this,” I muttered as pulled on my hair and paced the length of the room. “This is insanity.”

“Not to mention, it would be tragic if I killed Cade, Seth and Lenny because they were near you in the battle when my target is supposed to be your father.”

“I thought you were fine with Lenny,” I said, perplexed.

“Whoops, my bad. I meant Seth and Cade,” he amended and then scrubbed his hand over his face trying to hide his smug grin.

He failed.

“So now you’re resorting to blackmail to get what you want?” My feet stopped and I stared at him with an open mouth. He was every kind of crazy.

“It’s sounds a little harsh when you put it that way,” Nicolai said, feigning offense.

“Is there another way to put it?” I asked as involuntary deep pink and gold sparks began to fly from my hands.

“Hmmm, I like gentle persuasion better,” he explained with a careless shrug. “It’s a win-win for everyone.”

“Except you,” I told him as I aimed and shot a spear of pink fire at his head.

The laugh that escaped his lips as he ducked my incoming shot made me shoot two others out of spite. The second one hit his shoulder and his loud curse made me giggle.

“So is this what I have to endure to make you smile?” he asked with a bemused grin as he tamped out the fire on his smoldering sleeve.

“Possibly,” I shot back flippantly. “And it’s not a win-win for you, Nicolai. It’s a lose-lose.”

“That depends entirely on your definition of those two words,” he replied as he crossed the room and pinned my arms over my head so I couldn’t get another cheap shot in.

He pressed his hard body against mine and it was all I could do to remain stiff and unyielding. He knew it and it infuriated me. My nipples hardened to painful points and I felt a dampness between my legs. I was tempted to fight fire with fire, rubbing up against him and then leaving him high and dry, but I wasn’t stupid. That would backfire in a big bad way.

“Everything I’ve said makes complete and total sense,” he whispered into my ear. “What I offer to you is simple. Take it…I know you want to.”

My breathing was labored as I fought the war raging between my body, my brain, my heart and my pride. He was right and I knew deep down inside I would accept, but I was accepting for all the wrong reasons. I was going to accept because it’s what my heart wanted.

I’d fallen in love with the horrible man. The arrogant man who was willing to give up his own happiness for me to live and raise my son. The terrible person who wanted me to be happy so he could sleep at night. The despicable man who was blackmailing me so our friends wouldn’t die while we saved our entire race from my father’s tyranny. The man I was fated to spend eternity with…

He would never know my reasoning. It would be my downfall. Giving him my body was one thing. Letting him know he also owned my heart would never happen.

“You win,” I said.

“
What
?” he sputtered as he stepped back and stared at me with delighted but wary shock.

“I said, you win.”

“Is there a catch?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes and pushed me up against the wall.

“No. No catch.”

He was silent for a moment while his eyes searched my face for deceit. There was none to be found because I wasn’t lying. I would let him make me his and I would make him mine. Parting from him would be hell, but I’d lived in hell on this earth for so long it really didn’t matter. I would raise my son and I would live. It would be an empty and sad life, but…

“Come with me now,” he insisted as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door.

“Where are we going?” I gasped as I tried to keep up with his long stride.

“To my suite. I’m taking no chances of you changing your mind,” he said tersely as he shoved the door open with his shoulder. “You have a problem with this?”

“Um…no, I guess not,” I stuttered. My brain was all over the place and my inner Dragon was jumping for joy.

“Good. In five hours you’ll be mine.”

“Oh my God. It takes five hours to mate?” I’d never heard that.

“No, as far as I know it takes a few minutes. It will take me five hours to make you come so many times you’ll agree to a renegotiation of the terms.”

“Oh God.”

“You can call me that, but I prefer Nicolai.”

And thus my true mating began.

Chapter 18

As Nicolai dragged me across the compound, Dragons waved and cheered. I was mortified. We may as well have been wearing a sign that said we were off to live out a pornographic fantasy. Nicolai accepted the congratulations with a shit-eating grin and very few words. He was on a mission and the mission was me.

Practically throwing me through the door of his suite, he began to disrobe immediately. He was frantic and little sparks flew off his body and danced on his skin.

I was stunned to silence when the man was totally nude. He made all the Greek statues look like wimps. His perfectly muscled chest was lightly dusted with black hair that veed down to his stomach and pointed to the most alarmingly large and beautiful erection I’d ever seen.

My breasts grew heavy and my need for him overwhelmed me. My breath came in small uneven pants and my mouth felt dry. Holy hell, I wasn’t even sure if he would fit. This was so stupid, but there was no turning back now. My Dragon would fry me from the inside out if I ran.

Nicolai’s decidedly masculine chuckle pulled my eyes from his lower region back to his face. His eyes burned green and he approached me with the intent of ending my single life forever.

“You’re over dressed,” he said as he solved the issue by stripping me naked almost as quickly as he stripped himself. “Damn, you are perfection.”

His hands roamed my body and I tried to steel my heart against him, but I knew it was too late. The only thing I could hold back were the words and I would never give him those. Tentatively, I ran my hands over his skin and gloried in the way his body contracted as I discovered it.

“Touch me like you mean it, Dima. Because trust me, I mean everything I’m doing to you,” he said in a dark voice as his lips slid from my neck to my aching breasts.

I tangled my fingers in his black hair and arched into his hungry mouth. All rational thought was gone and I felt a lava-like heat begin to wind its way through my limbs.

“Nicolai,” I gasped as his mouth moved lower. “Too hot. I think I’m too hot.”

“It’s the Dragon Fire,” he hissed as he found the spot between my legs that made my vision go white. “It’s okay, baby. I feel it too.”

He worked my body like he’d known it forever and I was certain the entire weyr could hear my screams of ecstasy, but I didn’t care. His mouth made me come so hard I sobbed, but we weren’t done. We’d only just begun.

“My turn,” I demanded as I pushed at him and made him lay back.

His eyes were hooded with lust. He looked dangerous and sexier than hell. I ran my tongue along his skin and nipped at him as I moved down his body to happily return the favor. He tasted like he was mine and my Dragon writhed inside my body with satisfaction.

“Only for a second, Dima,” he growled as he grabbed my hair and guided me to his cock. “The first time I come with you will be inside your body. Do you understand me?”

“I hear you,” I said with a coy smile as I looked up at him and winked. “But it doesn’t mean I’m going to obey. Besides, my mouth is part of my body.”

“You’re killing me here,” he said as his body jerked with pleasure when my tongue slid over the broad head.

“You’re a big boy. I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” Again, I wondered if he would fit inside me, but I decided to cross that bridge when we got to it.

Taking him into my mouth, I ran my tongue around the soft skin that covered his rock hard desire. It felt powerful to have him coming apart under my lips. The sounds that came from deep in his chest spurred me on. I wanted to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel.

“Enough,” he ground out harshly as he pulled me off of him and easily slid me up his body until we were nose to nose. “I have no clue how this works, but just stay with me.”

I nodded as the heat in my body ramped up to the point of pain. My Dragon Fire was close and it wanted a new home inside Nicolai’s body. His eyes were wild and his hands gripped my ass in a vise like hold as he ground himself against my squirming body.

“I think I’m on fire,” I gasped as I felt the head of his cock at my softened entrance. “I think we’re going to blow up. Can that happen?”

“I sure as hell hope not,” he said as he flipped me to my back and spread my legs open wide. “I haven’t come yet.”