Shifted (24 page)

Charlie knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to go straight to the recruitment table and show them his power. Joining the army would change everything. He wouldn’t have to hide his power. He would still be a cripple, but maybe he could be of some use to the army in his feline form. 

And he would be able to go back to college. He couldn’t afford it without his baseball scholarship, but with the G.I. Bill he’d have a chance to finish his degree. He could get a real job, the sort that would support a wife and family. This was his second chance. 

He pressed through the crowd, hoping to see Briar. For once, he was eager to apologize, eager to tell her how wrong he’d been. Because now he could be open about his power, and he could accept her past, and everything would be all right. 

His heart leapt when he caught sight of her blond curls. She was near the recruiting table, and at first he thought she was lining up to speak to an army recruiter.

Then he realized she was facing the wrong way. As he got closer, he saw that her eyes were wild. She stopped Teddy Dickinson and spoke urgently.

“You’ve got to be cracked,” Teddy said as Charlie approached. “Of course I’m going to sign up.”

He side-stepped her and continued toward the table. Briar whirled around and saw Charlie.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she said. “You have to help me. We can’t let anyone sign up for the army. Cavanaugh is a liar.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Briar

Briar felt as if alarm bells were ringing inside her. She could barely hear herself think over the clanging of panic and desperation. 

Worst of all, everyone around her was happy and excited, invigorated by Lt. Cavanaugh’s speech. She couldn’t let her friends and neighbors join the army, just like that. They didn’t understand that they were being lied to.

When she saw Charlie, she forgot for a moment about the days of misery and heartache he had put her through. All she could think was, he understood her power. He would help her to stop this.

“Briar, what’s wrong?” he asked, laying his hand on her shoulder. Just his presence calmed her.

“Cavanaugh,” she repeated. “He was lying during that speech. But everyone believed him, and now they’re about to make a huge mistake!”

She looked back over her shoulder. Crowds were forming around the recruiting table. She could see Lowell Briggs and his sons at the front of the line. “Nothing but heroes in this family!” he proudly proclaimed as he pushed Will and Clayton forward.

“We have to stop this. We can’t let them join the army.” Briar could hear that her own voice was too high, too fast, but she couldn’t control it. “No matter what Cavanaugh says about accommodations, joining the army will still ruin their lives.”

“Slow down,” Charlie said, his brow furrowed. “What exactly was he lying about?”

“The rockslide, for one. He said they are working on clearing it, but that’s a lie.”

“Well, you said the other day that Col. Deacon lied about the rockslide being man-made, right? So maybe they are investigating more before they start to clear it.”

She blinked. That idea hadn’t occurred to her. More, it hadn’t occurred to her that Charlie might question her interpretation. “That’s not all. He didn’t believe all that stuff he was saying about the Soviets—that they would imprison us and put us in
gulags
. He was making that up.”

“Yeah, but ….”

“What?”

Charlie shrugged. He was rubbing small circles on her shoulder, but was only succeeding in making her more antsy. “I mean, it’s the sort of thing that gets people going, right? Hyperbole. That would be the worst-case scenario. Besides, that won’t happen because the army knows about us now. They’ll protect us.”

She knocked his hand off her shoulder and stepped back. She couldn’t seem to pull enough air into her lungs. “You bought it. You bought his lies.”

“I’m not gullible, Briar. Maybe Cavanaugh exaggerated the stuff about the Soviets because it makes for good theater. It worked, right?” 

He gestured around them. Someone had gone to fetch some instruments from the orchestra room, and now an impromptu band was playing patriotic songs. All around them, people were smiling and relaxed for what felt like the first time in weeks. 

How would they feel if they knew they had been lied to?

“Was he telling the truth about letting women in?”

“Yes. Why?”

He dug his cane in to the ground. “I was thinking they might waive some of the physical requirements too.”

The alarm bells inside her reached a new pitch. “You want to join the army.”

Charlie shrugged, elaborately casual. “I was thinking about it. If they’re letting women in, they’ll probably let a cripple in too.”

“Charlie, no.” She grabbed the lapels of his shirt, desperate to make him understand. “You can’t do this. You can’t become one of them.”

“Why not?”

“They’ll use you up. They’ll ruin you.”

“Briar—”

“I know that you think I’m disgusting and shameful, and you might not want to listen to me, but please, Charlie, please don’t join the army right now.”

“I don’t think that you’re … Briar, please. I never meant—”

She shook her head violently. “You don’t have to explain. I should have known better than to trust you, trust anyone, with all of my secrets. It’s too much for anyone to deal with, and I don’t blame you. It hurts, but I don’t blame you.”

She was crying again, the way she’d been crying for days, and suddenly she couldn’t look at him anymore, couldn’t stand the shock on his handsome face. Later, she might be ashamed of what she’d said, but for now she was so flooded with hurt and fear that embarrassment couldn’t register.

She whirled away from him, trying to push her way through the crowd toward the stage. She would get on the microphone, that’s what she’d do, and tell everyone that Lt. Cavanaugh was a liar. She’d tell everyone that they couldn’t join the army. She’d tell them about the lies, and then the whole town would rise up and kick these uniformed men out of town, and be rid of the army’s guns and their knives and their fists ….

“Briar, wait,” Charlie said, touching her shoulder again. He was panting with the effort of chasing her. “I need to talk to you. Please.”

She had been moved before when Charlie said “please,” and look where that had gotten her. “I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

“Well, I have things I have to say to you. Starting with, I’m sorry. I was so, so wrong.”

All around them, people were cheering and singing. Frank strutted by in the company of two soldiers. How could there be so much happiness around her when she was boiling with fear, panic, and sorrow? 

Charlie was still talking. “Let me explain. I overreacted. And I know that I’ve done this to you before, and I swear, I’ll do better, I’ll be better. Sometimes it just takes me some time to process, to get past my anger and figure out what’s really important. But I know now. You’re important. You, right now. That’s all that matters, not the past, not the other guys.”

He was telling the truth, using it to pry past her defenses. “No, no. I can’t deal with you right now. I have to stop this recruiting drive. I can’t let the army destroy this town the way they destroyed my father!”

The last words came out as a shout. Some of the celebrants around them turned curiously to look at her. Suddenly she realized how she must look to them—wild-eyed, spouting strange theories, insisting she had a power. Some of the Independents may believe her, but to the rest of the town she was the same liar who had been making up stories for years. 

“Please, just … take a breath, okay?” Charlie said, looking at her with concern. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

She looked around her. Most of the people who she had seen at the mine the other night were already gathered around the recruiting table. Some of the women were holding back—she saw Meg Fields having a hushed conversation with Lucy Roberts, and she spotted Blanche Sutton sitting in the bleachers with her husband. But it seemed like every guy in town was swarming the recruiting table.

Except Charlie. He was the last person on earth she wanted to be alone with—just looking at him made her heart ache—but maybe she could convince him not to join. That was worth a little pain. 

“Okay,” she said, though nothing was okay. “Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Charlie

He led her through the home team dugout, into the locker room attached to the stadium. The smell of the place—gym socks and pine-scented cleaner—was so familiar, so much a part of the life he’d lost, that in any other circumstances it would have brought him to his knees. But right now, he was too fixated on Briar to worry about anything else. 

He led her out of the locker room and into the small area outside of the coach’s office. He flicked on a light, illuminating a small lounge area with a couple of overstuffed leather couches that were circled around a blackboard. 

Faintly, he could still hear the sound of
My Country ‘Tis of Thee
through the concrete walls.

“Come sit down,” he said, limping across the room and settling onto one of the couches. “Thank you for talking to me.”

He patted the spot on the couch next to him, but she chose a hard plastic chair instead. The green dress she was wearing brought out her eyes, which were guarded and sad. Before he could speak, she said, “I think it would be best if you got lost in the woods for a while.”

“What?”

“You can survive in the woods as a mountain lion, right? It’s the perfect escape plan. It’s only a matter of time until someone spills the beans about your power, so it should be tonight.”

“You want me to run away?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “How long can you stay transformed? I think it would be best if you stayed a mountain lion all the time.”

“I’m not leaving,” he said, scowling. 

“Why not?”

“I’m a cripple, not a coward,” he said defensively. 

“It’s not about cowardice,” she said, surprised. “I want to keep you safe.”

“By sending me off into the woods with winter coming? Yeah, that’s really smart.”

She jerked to her feet. “I didn’t come here to be insulted.”

“Aw, shit. Shoot!” he amended, holding a hand up to stop her from marching out. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m messing all of this up. Let me start over. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about the other night.”

“You were just being honest about your feelings,” she said. He didn’t think it was possible, but the misery in her eyes made him feel even worse.

“No, I wasn’t. I was being a child. I was letting my feelings override my good sense. I got upset when you told me about those other guys, but I didn’t have any right to treat you like that.” 

He wished he could reach out and touch her. But he had to dredge it all out first, all the toxic emotions he’d been burying. “The truth is, I was embarrassed. I’m supposed to be the one with experience, you know? I’m supposed to be teaching you the ropes, not the other way around.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Yeah, but you were surprised when I told you,” he said. “It’s not cool for a guy to be a virgin. Or a cripple. And a crippled virgin … well. It doesn’t get any less manly than that.”

“Do you really think that’s how people see you?”

He moved his shoulders uncomfortably. “I didn’t say it was logical. But that’s why I reacted the way I did.”

“Do you really think it matters?” she said, her voice breaking. “Do you really think having sex magically makes you a man?”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt.”

“And your leg—you can’t hit a ball and run in circles anymore, so now you’re somehow pathetic?”

“It’s not just baseball. It’s everything. You had to help me carry a load of blankets to my car. I can’t go anywhere without this thing,” he said bitterly, lifting his cane. “I’m not capable of the same things other guys can do.”

“Boo-hoo.”

His temper, always close to the surface, flared. “This isn’t easy for me to admit.”

“Charlie, don’t you see? You’re twice the man that Kent is. Do you think I don’t know what it took for you to recover? You think I don’t know the pain you are in every day? You could have given up. You could have let grief and regret take over your life. That’s what being a man is all about—getting back up no matter how hard life knocks you down.”

“That’s one of the things I admire about you,” he said, seeing an opening. “You’re a survivor. You can make it through anything. I know we can work this out, Briar, I just know it.”

She was softening, so he pushed harder. “I should never have judged you for your past. That wasn’t fair. I’m so sorry that I made you feel ashamed. I was surprised that you were more experienced than I am, and I overreacted. Please forgive me. Please.”

She had the heels of her hands pressed to her eyes. “I’m not sure I can do this, Charlie. It hurts too much.”

“Don’t break up with me. Let me fix this.” He rose and moved to one of the plastic chairs so he could draw it closer to hers.

She moved one of her hands to peer at him. “I can’t break up with you. We aren’t technically together. Not, like, going steady.”

He shrugged. “If you want, I’ll dig up my letter jacket for you.”

Her tiny smile was like a ray of sunshine after a week of rain. “Besides, we are together. I don’t want to be with anyone else, and I clearly don’t want you to be with anyone else. Do you want to be with me?”

“It can’t work.”

“That’s not an answer.” 

When she didn’t reply, he forced himself to sit back. “I’m not going to force you to tell the truth. If we’re going to work out, you have to tell me on your own.”

“I couldn’t make you happy,” she said, anguish clear in her eyes. “My power ruins every relationship.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I like that you are honest. Please, just give me a chance to prove I can make you happy.”