Shifted By The Winds (72 page)

“Marietta is going to have the most perfect wedding ever,” Felicia breathed. “Someday I hope I can get married in this exact same spot.”

“I hope that, too,” Carrie said as, for a moment, she looked into the future a decade or more away. What would their country be like then? What kind of world would young Felicia be living in? Her thoughts were interrupted when her father walked into the room, resplendent in his black tuxedo.

“Uncle Thomas!” Felicia cried. “You look so handsome.”

“Why, thank you, my dear,” Thomas said as he pulled her into a hug. “Your yellow dress makes you look like a ray of sunshine.”

Felicia suddenly frowned. “Not sunshine,” she cried. “Marietta said she wants it to snow tonight.”

“Then it will snow tonight,” Thomas said.

Felicia cocked her head. “Do you really think so?”

“I do,” he assured her, exchanging a look with Carrie over her head.

Felicia caught the look and grinned. “It could have something to do with the fact that the temperature has dropped and the clouds look much heavier with moisture.”

Thomas laughed. “It could,” he agreed as he shook his head. “You’re getting too smart for me, young lady.”

“But will it snow in time for the wedding?” Felicia persisted. “That is the important part!”

“You’ll have to ask Carrie about
that
,” Thomas said.

Felicia flicked a glance at Carrie before she turned back to Thomas. “Why would Carrie know?”

Thomas shrugged. “I gave up trying to figure it out years ago. She just seems to know.”

Felicia turned and gave Carrie her full attention. “Do you know the same way you knew the clouds wouldn’t cover the Leonid Meteor Shower?”

Carrie nodded. “The same way.”

“Magic?”

Carrie hid her smile when she heard the disappointment in Felicia’s voice. “I prefer to call it women’s intuition.”

Felicia gazed at her. “Why can’t I feel it?”

“Because you’re not a woman yet,” Carrie said with a smile.

“But I’ll know then?”

“Perhaps,” she allowed.

Felicia frowned. “Why
perhaps
?”

Carrie laughed. “Because you want everything to be proven scientifically, my dear. Not all of life works that way.”

Felicia stared at her and then turned to look out the window hopefully.

Rose walked into the room. Carrie could tell by the relieved look on her face that Hope was sound asleep.

“Carrie is right, you know. Not everything can be proven scientifically,” Rose said.

“But most things can, Mama,” Felicia insisted.

“Most things are not
all
things,” Rose replied. “You will spend your whole life frustrated if you choose to only believe the things you can see and prove.”

Felicia considered her statement for a long moment. “I’m glad I have women in my life that will help me not do that,” she said finally.

Carrie caught her breath but remained silent. She sensed there was more Felicia wanted to say.

Felicia walked back over to stare at the tree. “My mama believed in that thing you call women’s intuition,” she murmured thoughtfully.

“She did?” Rose asked gently as she joined Felicia beside the tree.

“Yes. The night before she was killed she tucked me into bed.” Felicia’s voice caught at the memory, but she continued. “She did that every night, and then she made me read to her because she never learned how to read.” Her voice wavered, but she took a deep breath and continued. “She told me I was going to be a very important woman someday. She told me I was going to help black women everywhere.” Felicia tipped her head back so she could see all the way to the top of the tree. “I asked her how she knew. She just smiled and told me she knew. I asked her again how she
knew
.” She fell silent. “Mama just gave me a big hug and told me there are things you can only know with your heart.” She peered up at Rose, her eyes glistening in the candlelight. “Is that how you know?”

Rose laid a hand on the little girl’s cheek softly. “That’s how you know.”

Felicia thought for a moment. “Then my mama might be right? I might be an important woman one day?”

Thomas stepped over to lay a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t need to have women’s intuition to know that is going to be true, Felicia. You are going to be important to women everywhere one day soon.”

When Carrie walked downstairs an hour before the wedding was to begin, she saw Janie standing out on the porch, bundled tightly against the cold. She knew Matthew had gone upstairs to change clothes. She grabbed her father’s thick coat and pulled it around her scarlet red dress. She wasn’t dressed for the cold, but Janie’s rigid stance told her that her friend needed her.

Janie looked up as she walked out on the porch. “Hello,” she said softly.

“Are you all right?”

Janie didn’t answer for a long moment. “I always dreamed of getting married on Christmas Eve,” she finally revealed. She shook her head impatiently. “I know it’s my own fault, and I know it’s not possible anyway because this is Jeremy and Marietta’s night, but I can’t help feeling sad, which only makes me feel stupid.”

“Nonsense!” Carrie cried, happiness soaring through her. “I didn’t think you would
ever
come to your senses.”

Janie stared at Carrie as if she had gone completely mad. “What in the world are you talking about?”

Carrie ignored her. “You’re not afraid anymore?”

Janie considered the question. “I can’t say I don’t feel twinges of fear, but I have new stories I tell myself as soon as they try to creep in.”

“Have you told Matthew yet?” Carrie pressed.

Janie shook her head. “I thought perhaps I would tell him tonight after the wedding,” she murmured, her eyes growing soft as she thought about it.

Carrie grinned. “I have a better idea.” Not allowing Janie to ask any questions, she grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the house. “We don’t have much time.”

Matthew dressed carefully. He was truly happy for Jeremy and Marietta, but the reality of the wedding taking place tonight was bittersweet for him. He hated that he couldn’t feel open-hearted joy for them, but he was too aware of the intense loneliness choking him at times. Being here around Robert and Carrie, Thomas and Abby, and Moses and Rose only magnified it. He hated that he found himself wishing he had remained in Philadelphia for Christmas, but it would have been easier.

He moved to stare out the window into the dark night. He was quite sure it was going to snow. The knowledge only made him feel worse. Janie had long ago confided her wish of marrying on a snowy Christmas Eve. He blamed himself that he hadn’t been able to move her beyond her fears. He hated the thought that he might not be the right man for her. With that thought came the memory of all the years he had longed for Carrie. He shoved those aside, certain his love for her was never meant to be more than friendship, but he also wondered if he was destined to spend his life alone. Perhaps he would never marry.

The sound of pounding hooves made him smile even through his misery. The horses were reveling in the brittle, cold night. He could see shadows racing around the pasture. He flung his window open, suddenly desperate for cold air to clear his thoughts. He leaned against the windowsill and took deep, steadying breaths as the frigid air enveloped him.

Janie loved him. He knew she did. Someday, perhaps she would move beyond her fears. Until then, he had to be willing to content himself with their love and the time they had together.

A light tap on the door made him turn around.

Robert slipped into the room. He stared in astonishment and walked closer to the fire. “Are you trying to freeze to death, or simply attempting to warm the outdoors?”

Matthew shook his head and shut the window. “I just needed some air,” he muttered.

Robert eyed him. “You’re glad for Jeremy and Marietta, but you’re wishing it was your wedding tonight.”

Matthew didn’t bother to refute his obviously true statement. “I’m alright now.” He expected Robert to say something to make him feel better, but his friend only nodded his head briefly. “Let’s go. They are waiting for us.”

Matthew sighed, straightened his jacket, and followed Robert from the room.

Carrie walked into the parlor, fighting to keep her breathing even. A quick glance told her everything was ready. The minister had arrived, and Abby was seated at the piano. The candles filled the room with soft light, and the tree was radiant in all its glory. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The aroma of cedar made her feel as if she were standing in an enchanted wooden glen. “It’s perfect,” she breathed, her heart pounding with excitement and happiness.

She exchanged a look with Robert and smiled briefly at Jeremy before she slipped from the room, careful not to look in Matthew’s direction.

“Are we ready?” Thomas asked.

Carrie nodded and pulled his head down for a whispered conversation.

Thomas’ eyes widened. “Let’s get on with it,” he whispered back with a grin.

Carrie ran back to the parlor door, nodded to Abby, and listened for a moment as Abby broke into the opening notes of Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March.” With the music ringing in her ears, she turned and ran back up the stairs to where Marietta was waiting. “It’s time,” she said.