Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Melissa) BBW Werewolf Romance (Hope Valley BBW online dating app romances Book 3) (6 page)

She was back in the present, standing in a forest with the man who had almost raped her. The snow seemed to be singing, a high, piercing note. Or maybe it was her ears ringing. Harley was gazing at her, and his face was full of pain.

“You’re James,” she said in a quiet voice.

“James is a name I took for myself when I attended a human high school. Harley is my real name,” he said.

“You attacked me.”

“No, Melissa. I didn’t. I would never have hurt you – ” His voice broke with emotion.

“You attacked me, and Billy-Joe and Earl saved me. They were in my class; I saw them every day after that. They were standing next to me in our graduation photo. They became the heroes of the school.”

“Melissa, no – ” Harley began, but Melissa clapped her hand over her mouth. She thought she was going to be sick, and sweet, rotten alcohol rose like bile in the back of her throat. “Breathe,” he said. “Take long, slow breaths.” His hand hovered near her back, but he didn’t lay it on her.

“I need to get back inside,” she said, and began to walk quickly towards the cabins.

“Please be careful not to slip,” he said from behind her. “Melissa, I’m not going to follow you or harass you, but please believe that I never did anything to hurt you that day, and I never would.”

Melissa could barely hear his words as she stumbled away from him. Blood was pounding in her ears. A whole world had just opened up, like a Pandora’s box of ugly memories, and it was far more than she could cope with. Somehow she managed to stumble all the way back to the cabin without falling in the snow. Only when she was on the doorstep did she dare to look behind her. Harley was nowhere in sight.
Had he left?
He’d said he wasn’t going to follow her.
I need to calm myself right down and not ruin Lauren and Connor’s party
, she told herself, and took some more deep breaths, trying to force her memories to go back into their box. Just then, Kristin rounded the corner.

“Hey, hun,” she said brightly. “Did you find the spice you were looking for?” Melissa nodded. “We just got Harley’s message saying he had to leave. Shame isn’t it? Must suck being a doctor and always being on duty. How did it go with him?” She elbowed Melissa, face bright with anticipation. 

“Oh, it was fine. Nothing happened between us. We got on ok, but there was no spark.”

“What? From the way he was looking at you, I can tell you that’s not true at all!”

“Kristin, can you just drop it, please?” Melissa said, still too shaken up to think of something clever to say. Kristin regarded her more closely.

“You look really pale, babe. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just need to eat something,” she said.

“Well, you’re in luck. The barbecue’s going – as if you couldn’t smell it,” Kristin said. Melissa actually hadn’t registered the delicious scent of burning wood until now. “And there are plenty of snacks indoors.” Kristin held the door open, and Melissa passed through. To Melissa’s great relief, there was no-one else there.

“Where is everyone?” she said.

“Oh, Lauren’s putting Willow to sleep in a back room, Connor’s in the kitchen preparing the meat, and the others are out by the barbecue. Let’s get you a snack, and then we’ll go join them,” Kristin said. Melissa brought the jar of fenugreek to Connor, then followed Kristin to the coffee table where plates of cold snacks were laid out. She badly wanted to tell Kristin about Harley, but it was too big. Her mind was churning with unwelcome thoughts and memories. And Harley was friends with these guys. She needed to think twice before telling everyone what he’d done to her all those years earlier.

They ate some smoked salmon rolled up with cream cheese – her favorite – and some chips, and then they went out to join the others. A winter barbecue was such a cool idea. There was a fire burning in an old oil drum and a couple of gas heaters, which kept the space from being cold. It felt just like Guy Fawkes’ night.

“What d’you do to scare Harley off?” Roman said to Melissa as she joined the group. Kristin slapped him on the arm.

“Hey, you’re not funny,” she said, a hint of sternness in her voice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be an idiot,” he said, sounding chastened.

“It’s ok,” Melissa said. Normally she would’ve thought it was funny too, but right now it was the worst thing he could’ve said. He went inside and brought out a cup of mulled wine for her.

“Sorry. My humor sucks. Peace offering?” he said. The expression in his green eyes was so earnest, that Melissa couldn’t help laughing. She accepted the drink and clinked cups with him.

Connor brought the marinated meat out and put it on the barbecue. As they watched it cooking, the weak afternoon light began to yield to approaching night. It was such a lovely, cozy day with friends, and Melissa tried hard to put Harley out of her mind for now and enjoy the celebration of Willow’s birth. They ate indoors, on the huge dining table that Connor and Logan had once made together from a single tree trunk, then they drifted outside again, to enjoy the simple pleasure of being out in the snow. It felt magical and otherworldly, and it temporarily lulled the unease in Melissa’s heart.

Chapter Three

It was early Sunday morning, and too early to be awake yet. The sky was pitch black, and Melissa could see from opening her curtain an inch that more snow had fallen. She’d woken up with her heart pounding, still tangled up in a nightmare. She tried to remember it, but it was gone.
It’s so weird how some dreams stay with you, but others are like ghosts, fleeing the second you wake up.
She tried to keep her mind empty – a trick she’d taught herself for getting back to sleep when she woke in the night, as she often did. But it was no use. Thoughts of high school bombarded her mind. When she’d walked out of the school gates for the last time, she’d thought that was it. She’d been bullied, attacked, then treated like a heroine. And none of it had been deserved. It was all so wrong and hollow.

She was the only one from her high school to go to her college, and then she’d been safe, and capable of putting her painful teenage years behind her. She’d majored in sociology, and planned on building a career in charity work, as she wanted to help other people, and prevent them from experiencing unnecessary suffering. After she graduated, living in her hometown again wasn’t an option, as much as she loved her parents. But her best friend in college, Kristin, was from a town called Hope Valley, and she always spoke of it with such affection.

Melissa visited her there during a college vacation, and discovered that she wasn’t exaggerating. It was a truly lovely place, full of the sweetest, kindest people you could imagine. It was a small community, but as far away from the small-minded meanness of her own hometown as it was possible to be. She’d moved there as soon as she was done with school, and she hadn’t regretted it for a second.

And now someone had stepped out from her past and intruded into her peaceful, happy, Hope Valley life. The one who had hurt her more than anyone, but also saved her. It was a paradox that her mind could never quite process. Every time she thought about it, it was like she was trying to slot a star-shaped peg into a heart-shaped hole. Now was no different. The memories hadn’t changed: leather, alcohol, the burning of her skin as her clothes were ripped off, the suffocating feeling of having a hand clamped over her mouth. And the alcohol had made everything so woozy. It was like a hall of mirrors. Harley’s words from the day before came back to her. He said he hadn’t done anything to hurt her. And he’d since become a doctor, so he could spend his life caring for people. It didn’t make sense. She needed to speak to her parents. But it was too early to call. She tossed and turned in bed for a while, but sleep had retreated for the night. At last, unable to stand being alone with her thoughts for a moment longer, she pulled her phone out.

There was the Shiftr app, with its perky little paw print, staring at her from the home screen. Of her own accord, her thumb tapped the icon and the app opened.
What is it about technology that’s so irresistible?
Even cakes were easier to resist than the urge to check her messages. She swiped to her inbox and tapped to open it. He’d messaged her, of course. His message said:

Hi, Melissa. I meant what I said yesterday – I’m not going to follow you or harass you. This is the only message that I’ll send you. But it’s also true that I wasn’t the one who attacked you at school. That’s the last thing I would have done. I wish you’d give me a chance to explain. I know it might be hard to trust me after what happened to you, but the person you see today is the person I’ve always been. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you. If you’re willing to speak to me, even if it’s someplace public, please send me a message, and I’ll be there.

Yours,

Harley.

He sounded so genuine. And she wanted to trust him, but there was also a giant block in her mind that she just couldn’t get past. She’d tasted the salty sweat from the attacker’s palm on her lips for months afterwards. Was it his hand – the hand that had touched her so gently when she’d been having a panic attack? The thought brought her close to retching.

To distract herself, she looked at her other messages. There were lots. A smile came to her lips as she read about all of these super sexy guys who wanted to meet her. But she was too tired and overwhelmed to think about replying to them yet.

At last, the pale fingers of dawn began to reach across the sky. Her parents would be up now. They were farmers, and they’d be waking up to milk the cows. Her mom liked talking on the phone while she was working. Melissa dialed her number. She answered after three rings, her voice still full of sleep.

“Just let me get plugged in, ok?” she said. Melissa smiled to herself as her mum connected her hands-free microphone. She thought it was adorable that her parents were engaging with technology to help themselves stay in touch with her. “Right, I’m good. Are you ok, baby?” Melissa was silent for several beats, listening to the slow crunch of her mother’s footsteps in the snow. She shivered, glad that she was no longer around to get up early and help her parents with the animals. They’d never forced her to work on the farm, but she’d still felt morally obliged. They were lovely parents and she’d always wanted to help them out. She worried about them these days though. They were in their late fifties, and those cold mornings could only be getting harder.

“Mom,” Melissa said, and took a deep breath. Her mother had been almost as traumatized by the attack as she had. “I’m sorry to bring this up again, but I need to know more about what happened that time when I was attacked in high school.” Her mom was silent for an equally long period.

“But why, Melissa?” she said at last. “Why do you want to bring all of that up again? What’s happened?”

“Could you just answer my questions first, and then I’ll explain?” Melissa said. “And don’t stop working on my account,” she added with a chuckle, aware that she wasn’t hearing the familiar sounds of gates being opened and the milking machine being started up.

“It’s ok. I’m ten minutes ahead of your father, so I’ll just take a seat in the shed and give you my undivided attention. So what are the questions, honey?”

“I want to know what happened to the guy – the guy they say attacked me?”

“Nobody knows. After the attack, he just disappeared. The police couldn’t find him. It turned out that the school didn’t even have his correct address. He was in Ridgley for six months, and then he was gone.”

“Did you try to press charges?”

“Of course we did. I know Sheriff Don put a lot of manpower into apprehending him, but it was no use.”

“And what are Billy-Joe and Earl doing these days?”

“Earl is doing ok. I think. He got married young and has a few kids now. There are rumors that he beats on his wife, mind you. And Billy-Joe – honey, I’m sorry to tell you that he’s in federal jail for the rape of a minor.” Melissa sucked in air between her teeth.

“What? That’s terrible.”

“I know, none of us in the town can believe it.”

“It doesn’t sound much like the guy who saved me from being raped, does it, momma?”

“No, it doesn’t,” her mom said quietly.

“Mom, do you think James was really the one who attacked me? And Billy-Joe and Earl saved me?” Her mom sighed, and when she spoke again her voice quavered.

“Your father and I always had our suspicions, especially seeing as they were some of the kids who used to bully you. But everyone was saying that it was that other kid. He ran away after the incident, like a guilty man, and after that, the bullying stopped, didn’t it, baby? And we were so glad. It broke our hearts that you’d suffered over the years, and there was nothing we could do about it.”

“I think he was made a scapegoat,” Melissa said. “When I was snatched from the hallway, there was laughter, which suggests that there was more than one person taking me. Then I was made to drink corn liquor, which all the kids on the farms drink, you know? James was from God-knows-where, but he wasn’t a farmer’s kid, as far as I can tell. And, you’re right, Billy-Joe and Earl were some of the worst bullies. Billy-Joe especially, he had a real mean streak. Earl was just the loser who went along with him. I think if Billy-Joe saw me being mistreated, he’d be more likely to join in than help me out.”

“We thought the same thing, honey. We were so conflicted, but Billy-Joe’s family is pretty powerful in the county, and we just felt so helpless. Please don’t hate us for the decision we made. We don’t feel good about it at all. But in the end, we were just glad that our baby wasn’t coming home from school crying anymore.” Melissa bit down on her lip, holding back tears. She understood. She was aware of the power structures that existed in the community, and how toxic they could be if anyone stepped out of line. And she understood that her parents were simple people. They weren’t crusaders. What she had a harder time accepting was that they’d left her in the same school, vulnerable to further attacks from those animals.

“Baby – ” her mother cut into her thoughts. “Right after the attack, Billy-Joe’s father came to see us and offer his sympathies. And he assured us that no one would lay a hand on you again, and we believed him.” Melissa closed her eyes. Of course. Billy-Joe’s father had made a bond with the community, and everyone had bought into it. “We still weren’t sure exactly what had happened, and we felt a little like we were doing a deal with the devil, but it was a deal, and we accepted it, to guarantee your safety. I understand if you judge us for our actions now, but please believe that we had your safety and happiness uppermost in our minds.” She burst into tears.

“It’s ok, momma,” Melissa said, making soothing noises. “I understand. I understand the community, and I understand that you were both doing what you thought was right. I got through it, and that’s the main thing. I didn’t get raped, thank goodness, and the person who rescued me actually did me a lot of good, by convincing me that there were guys out there who were on my side.”

“That’s so good to hear, Melissa,” her mom said, blowing her nose.  “Now, tell me, why are you asking me all this?” Melissa paused.

“I’m sorry, mom, but I’m going to need some more time to think things over before I tell you that,” she said at last.

“Are you doing anything dangerous, baby?” her mom said.

“No. I’m not, mom,” she said firmly. “And I’ll tell you everything soon, I promise.”

“We love you so much, Melissa. Please be careful.”

“I will.” They said their goodbyes, and Melissa ended the call, relieved that her mom had her dad to talk to and comfort her. She lay back down on her pillow.
Billy-Joe is in jail for raping a minor.
She shuddered. That was so nearly her fate. And she wasn’t surprised. That whole family was rotten. And Billy-Joe was practically a psychopath. He’d made the meanest comments about her weight, ever since they were five years old. She felt disgusted at how accepting she’d been after the attack, how she’d stood next to him in the graduation photo. She’d been confused. That was the problem. Drugged with alcohol and confused. And she was just a little girl with low self-esteem from years of bullying. She’d believed what people had told her. But she wished she could remember more about James/Harley. He’d been so far outside of any frame of reference she’d had at school that he might as well have been from another universe. He hung around in his leather jacket, smoking roll-ups, being cool. He had a motorbike – a vintage easy rider. He used to lean on it, chatting to a couple of the other alternative kids. He’d been so different from her that she hadn’t paid him too much attention, had barely known what he’d looked like. A flash of memory hit her: he’d brushed past her in the corridor one day. She’d expected him to say something insulting, but he’d given her the most brilliant smile – glowing brown eyes in an unusual shade, and dazzling white teeth. She’d blushed, but then dismissed it, assuming he’d been making fun of her somehow.

She sighed. He’d grown up even more attractive than he’d been in his teens. His boyish cuteness had evolved into a deliciously sexy masculinity, all razor-sharp cheekbones, with a lovely, angular set to his jaw. But now he had that scar. Apparently caused by her scratching him. She looked at her nails. In her twenties, she’d managed to cure her nail-biting habit, and now they looked like normal fingernails. But in her teens, they’d been short, bloody stubs, hardly capable of scratching anything. 

She picked up her phone. All the evidence pointed to the likelihood that Harley was innocent of all wrongdoing. And, more than that, that he’d been the one who’d saved her. She tapped Shiftr and swiped to Harley’s message. She hit
reply, and wrote:

I do want to give you the chance to explain. Everyone deserves that at least. Are you free this afternoon? We could meet for coffee in Gino’s – maybe midday?

As she hit send, she saw that he was online. There was a little green dot next to his profile.
He’s awake early; it’s still only 7am
. He replied immediately:

Yes I’m free. That’s perfect. Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me, Melissa. I hope that everything will make sense once we speak.

Forever yours,

Harley.

His words delivered a shot of adrenaline to her veins.  She wanted to be able to trust him, so badly. She knew, without a doubt, that if she didn’t have that uncertainty, she’d be head over heels at the prospect of meeting him for coffee. Her emotions were in such a tangle.

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