Shine Not Burn (22 page)

I nodded at everyone.
 
“Nice to meet you all.”
 
For the second time, some of you.
 
Mack was doing a great job of acting like he couldn’t give a flying fudge about me being at the table sitting directly across from him, with his casual nod and sudden interest in the arrangement of his peas on his plate.
 
I watched distractedly as he pushed them around in different formations.

Angus handed me a big heavy bowl of mashed potatoes with little green and black flecks in them.
 
“So, Andie Marks, tell us what brings you to Baker City.
 
I take it you’re not from around here.”
 
He smiled, and for the life of me, I couldn’t detect a trace of mockery there in his expression, despite the fact that Boog had done a fine job of setting me up as the out-of-town big city girl goofball.
 
Or maybe it was me who’d done that.
 
It didn’t matter either way; I was out of my element and definitely a foreigner.
 
The quicker I could get out of here, the better it would be for everyone.

Angus’s question sent me into panic mode.
 
I scooped out potatoes and plopped them onto my plate with as much concentration as I could muster, trying to appear as if I couldn’t serve and talk at the same time.
 
I had to stall and come up with a plan.
 
Why am I here in Baker City?
 
This was nothing like the courtroom. There I always told the truth, but here in front of this judge and jury I had to decide whether to keep up the family tree charade or just come out with the whole sordid tale.
 
Las Vegas or bust.

I cast a glance at Mack and caught him shaking his head slightly, possibly warning me off.
 
It made me feel sick with embarrassment and shame.
 
I felt like I’d been a bad person or something, falling for him in Vegas, but what was even worse was how
that
idea made me so sad.
 
None of this was making any sense, from start to finish.
 
Even sitting here at this table was nuts.
 
I should already be headed back to the airport with signed papers in my hand.

Angus was waiting for a response, so I opened my mouth and let some words fall out.
 
“Well, you’re right, I’m not from here.
 
I’m from Florida.”

“Florida!” he exclaimed.
 
“Well, I’ll be.
 
You’re a long way from home now, aren’t you?”
 
He picked up a rib and bit into it, his eyes sparkling with happiness or mirth, it was hard to tell which.

I was glad to see he was much neater at eating ribs than Boog.
 
I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
 
He was so nice, despite being almost as big as a grizzly bear and nearly as intimidating.
 
“Yes, Baker City’s a long way from home in more than one way.”

Everyone laughed politely except Mack.
 
He just chewed his food very methodically and stared at the saltshaker between us.
 
He was so handsome it made my heart ache.

“How long have you been in town?” asked Maeve.

“Just today.
 
I arrived around lunch.”
 
I put some peas on my plate, the smallest portion I could manage and still officially be eating them.
 
Peas and I are not generally on speaking terms.

“And what have you seen so far?”
 
She handed me a basket of dinner rolls, bypassing Boog entirely.
 
He took it all in stride, not even missing a beat of his rib-mangling.

“Well, let’s see … I’ve seen my hotel, the diner in the center of town, aaaand the road out here with its rattlesnakes and spiders.”

“You’ve hardly seen anything yet,” she exclaimed.
 
“Please don’t judge Baker by just those little bits.
 
This town is one of the most beautiful places on earth.”

Ian snorted in disgust.

“Ignore him,” said Angus.
 
“He’s not a fan of ranch work or Baker these days.”

“Damn straight,” mumbled Ian, jabbing his fork into a pile of peas.
 
They rolled everywhere, like they were purposely trying to escape being speared.

“Don’t get him all riled up, Angus, please.”
 
Maeve sighed heavily.
 
“Just ignore them, Andie.
 
Tempers are high tonight because we have a lot of extra work right now.
 
Everyone’ll be all smiles and laughter in another couple days once all the calves are taken care of and we have our annual picnic.”

“I’m sorry I’ll miss that,” I said, taking a bite of the most delicious mashed potatoes I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.
 
I scooped up another forkful and indulged in more of the starchy goodness, ignoring the call of my pre-wedding diet.

“How long do you intend to stay?” asked Angus, resting his forearm on the table next to his plate.
 
“We’d love to have you here for the picnic.
 
We’ll have people from all over the area attending, lots of family and friends.
 
It’s quite an event.”
 
He pointed his fork at Mack.
 
“You’ll get to watch my boys on the broncs.
 
That’s something you don’t want to miss.”

I swallowed and took a sip of water before responding, because the image of Mack in full cowboy regalia being thrown around on the back of a horse was surprisingly sexy.
 
“I’m only here for a day or two, then I’ll be heading back home.”
 
I picked up my knife and fork, preparing to attack a rib.
 
“But thanks for inviting me.”
 
I looked up at Mack, my heart skipping a beat when I realized he’d been staring at me.
 
He looked away before I did.

“I thought you were going to Utah after this,” said Ian, his tone accusatory.

“Ian,” said Maeve, her tone friendly but sharp, “get that bee out of your buns right this instant before you curdle my milk and upset the hens.”

“I’m just asking.
 
She’s the one who said she was going there.”
 
He scowled at me and then his plate.
 
He looked much younger than his actual age which I guessed to be around twenty-six or so.

I shrugged.
 
“Maybe I’ll go to Utah, maybe not.
 
I haven’t decided yet.”

Angus’s gaze dropped to my plate and a confused expression appeared.
 
I froze in mid-rib-spearing, suddenly self-conscious.

Boog caught Angus’s expression and followed his gaze to my knife and fork.
 
“What are you doing?” he asked.

I looked at him like he was slow, raising my knife up a little.
 
“Cutting the meat off the bone?”

He smirked, grabbing a rib from his plate with his fingers and biting into it like a caveman.
 
“Foreigners,” he said, his mouth already full.

Mack blinked a couple times and may have smiled just the slightest bit, but then his face became a mask again and I was back to knowing nothing about what was going on in his head.
 
It was beyond frustrating.

I probably shouldn’t have cared; his signature was the only thing that should have been taking up headspace in my life.
 
But right now I wanted to know what he was thinking more than anything else in the world.

I blinked a few times, attempting to focus my thoughts on why I was here and visions of my upcoming nuptials.
 
But trying to conjure images of Bradley was not working to get Mack out of my brain.
 
All it did was make me compare the two and that was really stupid, really dangerous ground to be walking.

“Leave her alone,” chided Maeve.
 
“Not everyone eats with their fingers.”
 
She picked up her knife and fork and proceeded to cut meat from her ribs too.
 
It was awkward for her, I could tell.
 
It made me want to hug her the way she was trying so hard to make me feel welcome.
 
Then I felt guilty, not being truthful with her or Angus.
 
They hadn’t done anything wrong; they didn’t deserve my lies.

“So, I understand we’re related somehow, is that right?” asked Angus.

Mack cleared his throat loudly and picked up his glass, preparing to take a drink of his water.
 
“Dad, why don’t you just let her eat?” he said, not sparing me a glance.

“I’m just curious.”
 
Angus waved his fork around absently.
 
“Ian mentioned she’s doing some genealogy research.
 
Came here looking for you, in fact.”
 
He turned to me.
 
“Why Mack, specifically?
 
Why do you think his name came up in your research and mine didn’t?”

My mouth opened but the words wouldn’t come out.
 
“Uhhhh … I don’t know?”
 
The guilt was weighing heavily on me.
 
I was lying to these nice people, and it was making me lose my appetite.

“There she goes again,” said Boog.
 
“Asking a question instead of telling the answer.”
 
He wiped his mouth and beard off with his napkin in big swiping motions.

I motioned to a couple spots where he’d missed chunks of food, grimacing at the sight of it.

 
“What?
 
Did I miss something?
 
Get it for me, would ya?”
 
He moved in close to me with a devilish grin that moved his facial hair-bush up, revealing a row of bright white teeth.

I leaned way back and gave him a disgusted look, unable to find the right words to respond with.

“Boog, leave her alone,” said Maeve, trying not to laugh but failing miserably.
 
“You’ll have to excuse our friend.
 
He delights in teasing the ladies.
 
That’s why he’s so popular in town.”

I nodded sagely, sitting back up normally again.
 
“Oh, yeah.
 
The old dig-food-schrapnel-out-of-my-beard move.
 
Sexy.
 
I’ll bet he’s got the chicks lining up out the door.”

Angus let out a really loud whoop and then laughed so hard, he started choking on something.
 
Mack had to jump up and whack him on the back several times to get him breathing correctly and able to talk again.
 
I sat demurely in my seat, working very hard at not gloating over getting one over on the man-bear-pig.

By the time Mack took his seat, the table had finally calmed down, and I enjoyed a small sense of triumph over bringing Boog, the butthead who’d left me in the dust with the rattlesnakes, down a peg or two.

“They are lining up,” said Boog, pouting, not ready to let it go.

The whole table erupted in laughter again, even Mack and Ian joining in.
 
My heart skipped at beat at Mack’s expression.
 
I remembered seeing one just like it in Las Vegas.
 
He’d been happy then with me.
 
And I must have been happy with him too, otherwise there’s no way in hell I would have married him.
 
Even drunk, I must have been able to sense right from wrong.
 
The big mystery wasn’t so much why I married him anymore, but why I didn’t remember something so momentous the very next day and why he had just disappeared after becoming legally bound to me.
 
Did he forget too?

I stole a glance at him as he spoke with his father about something, I hadn’t heard what, too lost in the memories to pay attention.
 
He’d given me every reason to believe he
did
remember what we’d done, and he seemed even more unhappy about it than I was.
 
Maybe it had to do with the girl in the picture.
 
I made it a plan there and then to find out as soon as possible.
 
I’d probably have stay a day longer than I’d originally planned, but it would be worth it to get this over with.
 
This family was like a drug I could easily get addicted to.

“What do you think, Andie?” asked Angus with a twinkle in his eye.

“About?”

“About Boog doing that online dating stuff.
 
Think he’d catch him a fish or two?”

I opened my eyes wide and moved them around vacantly, trying to picture what the ad would say.
 
“I suppose there are women out here who wouldn’t mind dating …,”
 
I looked sideways at Boog, “…a guy like him.”

“D’ya hear that, Boog?” asked Ian.
 
“She says there’re girls out here who’d date Bigfoot.”

“Aw, come on now,” said Boog, dropping a bone on his plate.
 
“You know I have a lot to offer the right woman.
 
I’m just picky.”

I snorted and then hid my mouth behind a forkful of peas as the conversation carried on without me.

I felt light-headed and happy to be a part of the friendly, raucous meal until dessert, when I caught Mack’s eye again.
 
And then the reason I was sitting at the table across from him came crashing back into my reality and erased the smile off my face.
 
Instead of feeling light-headed now I was nauseous.
 
He was, simply put, the most attractive man I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
 
Part of it was his looks, obviously, but the other part was his family.
 
Angus and Maeve were incredibly kind and welcoming, the type of people I’ve never known personally.
 
Maybe it was a country thing to be so damn nice, but I’d always just assumed people like this lived only in the movies.