Shine Not Burn (41 page)

I gasped when he entered me, my head falling to the side as the sensations washed over me and the anticipation of what was to come grew.

“Don’t look away,” he said.
 
“Look at me.”

I turned my face to do as he demanded.
 
His brilliant blue eyes bore into me, causing my heart to fill with overwhelming emotion. He moved inside me, slowly, in and out, all the while never looking away.

I closed my eyes, the passion growing.

“Open your eyes, Andie, look at me.
 
I want to watch you come.”

I forced my lids up even though they wanted to shut out his beauty.
 
I’d never watched a man make love to me, and it was too deep.
 
Too much.
 
Because it was Mack.

Tears welled up, even as the heat did too.

His rhythm picked up and my breasts bounced as his thrusts became more insistent, faster.
 
He never broke eye contact with me, even though his face showed the extreme control he was exercising over his need.
 
He was holding out for me, waiting so that I could come with him.
 
I angled my hips up even more, taking him deeper.

I was mesmerized.
 
He was branding my heart, showing me that he was going to love me whether I liked it or not and that I was his and no one else’s.
 
I’d never had anyone insist on loving me before like this.
 
Tears slipped out of my eyes and dripped down to my ears as the orgasm built.
 
I was on the precipice of a big chasm, a place where I could easily get lost and never find my way out of.

“I love you, Andie Marks MacKenzie.
 
I’m not letting you go.”

I sobbed, but still didn’t look away.
 
Sweat dripped down from his neck and landed on my breasts, tickling my skin as it slid down to my ribs.
 
I drew my legs up and moved my hands to his ass so I could push him deeper into me.
 
I wanted to feel every last inch of him filling my need.
 
I couldn’t help it.
 
We were becoming one in that moment, and I didn’t want to miss any of it.
 
This would be the one and only time I would have this in my life.
 
No man could ever measure up to the standard that Mack set.

His expression became stormy.
 
His eyebrows drew together and his lips pressed into a thin line.
 
Sweat broke out on his forehead and dripped down his face and onto mine.
 
He groaned, his body moving fast, his shaft getting thicker.

The sensation of being stretched and the smooth gliding into my core, combined with his intense concentration and words of love were too much.
 
Too much for my body and too much for my soul.

The heat and fluttering sensations between my legs where our bodies were joined took over, leaving all my reticence, self-doubt, and worries behind.
 
I clung to him as I screamed out his name, crying the entire time.

“Look at me!” he growled, going down on his elbows and grasping my head on either side in his huge hands.
 
I was trapped in his life, his face just inches away.

“I can’t!
 
I can’t!” I gasped out, my face contorting with the effort of managing sorrow and orgasm at the same time.

He crushed his lips to mine and then stiffened, his entire body going rigid for a second before he began pounding into me with short hard thrusts.
 
His mouth became too hard against mine, forcing me to turn my head.

“Andie!
 
God
dammit
, Andie!” He was breathing against my face like a freight train as he came inside me.

Anything else he might have said didn’t register.
 
I was too far gone to hear or say anything of substance; all I could do was feel. I was drowning.
 
Love and pain and hope and loss mixed into one big maelstrom of emotion.
 
“Mack!” I cried, hanging onto his back with every ounce of strength I had, bucking underneath him until I couldn’t take the sensations anymore.
 
My cries turned into silent tears and I just let them fall.

He collapsed on top of me, suffocating me with his weight and distracting me from my sadness.
 
When it got to the point where I had to struggle to breathe, he fell off to the side, pulling out of me abruptly.
 
I reached over and slapped him gently on the face.

“What was that for?” he asked, reaching over to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

“That’s for leaving me and being so mean like that.”

He grabbed me as he rolled over onto his back, pulling me with him.
 
I was lying on top of his chest, looking down at him and his passion-flushed face.

“You’re the one who’s leaving and being so mean, not me.”

I frowned, my heart stung by his words.
 
“Don’t say that.”
 
Leaving felt so wrong; it was killing me to imagine myself on a flight out of here.

“Stay.”
 
He reached up and gently pushed a lock of hair out of my face. “At least for the picnic.
 
I want you to meet the family before you go.”

The knowledge that he’d accepted my departure as a foregone conclusion hurt.
 
The masochist in me wanted him to keep fighting for me to stay.
 
I guess I hadn’t caused either of us enough pain yet.

I sighed.
 
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Sure it is.
 
What’s one more day going to do?
 
Just stay.
 
My grandma wants to meet you and my mom needs your help.”

I stared into his sneaky blue eyes, frowning at him.
 
“Low blow, Mack.”

He shrugged, not smiling.
 
“I’m going to use whatever tricks I have up my sleeve to keep you here.”

I sighed, not wanting to let him or his mom and grandma down.
 
It was a great excuse to put off my heartbreak for one more day.
 
“Fine.
 
I’ll go to the picnic, but that’s it.
 
After that, I have to go back.”
 
What I was going to do when I got there was still an unknown.
 
The only thing I
did
know was that I wouldn’t be getting married to Bradley.
 
This little tryst in the meadow had solidified that decision in my mind.

Mack came off me with a push-up and stood, reaching for my hand.

I gave it to him and let him guide me to my feet.
 
“What are we doing now?” I asked, falling against him as his arms wrapped loosely around my back.

He dipped down and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
 
“Now, we play tag.”

I frowned, going still, not sure I’d heard him correctly.
 
“What?”

“You heard me.”
 
He grinned and pushed me away from him, reaching around to smack me lightly on the butt cheek.
 
“I’m It.
 
Better run.”

I laughed for a second.
 
“What are you talking about?”
 
A tickling sensation started in my stomach as I pictured him taking me down by the heels.

One of his eyebrows went up in a devilish challenge.
 
“Better run.
 
If I catch you, you’re going to get thrown into the lake that’s just behind those trees.
 
And I have to warn you … it’s pretty cold this time of year.”

A huge dose of adrenaline shot into my veins, and I took off running without a second glance at him.
 
The horses lifted their heads as I zoomed by heedless of the snakes that might be waiting for me, only knowing I had to get away from the crazy man who was going to turn me into a human popsicle.

His pounding footsteps came up behind me, causing me to scream and laugh at the same time.
 
Hysterical giggles bubbled up out of my chest and echoed around the clearing.

“Gotcha!” he shouted, grabbing my upper arm.

I twisted away and ran around him, shrieking again when I saw him go into a crouch, his muscles bunching up in preparation for attack.

“No, Mack!
No!”
I flew over the grass and flowers, my heart racing and my arms pumping.

“Yes!” he growled, hooking me around the waist from behind and lifting me up in his arms.

He strode across the meadow and into the trees with me in his arms, clamping down on me so hard, all I could do was struggle mutely, barely able to move my arms or legs.

“Please don’t throw me in,” I begged, mostly meaning it but partially thrilled with his caveman act.
 
I was so used to being in charge in my life, this was an erotic twist in our relationship I hadn’t expected to like.
 
But there was no denying that I was hoping his next move would be to drop me to the ground and do that thing that he does oh so well, all over again.

Shimmering bluish green water came into view and I pleaded with renewed vigor, imagining how cold it would feel against my hot skin.
 
“Please, I’ll do anything.
 
Please don’t put me in there, Mack.
 
I hate cold water!”

He stopped abruptly.
 
“You’ll do anything?”

I nodded without hesitation, my chest heaving.
 
“Yes.
 
Anything.
 
Name it.”

“Stay.
 
Stay for the picnic…”

I smiled.
 
“I already said I’d stay.”

“…And let me sleep with you tonight.
 
I want our last night to be spent in your bed, inside you.”

A shiver ran through me as I imagined his hard, hairy body next to mine in the small bed of his parents’ house, while we did things we shouldn’t be doing.
 
I looked over at the lake and its cold, deep waters.
 
The decision was a no-brainer.

“Fine.
 
Deal.”

He dropped my legs and put his hands on either side of my face.
 
“I knew I’d get you to see reason.”
 
He kissed me passionately for several seconds before surprising me by turning me around to face a tree.
 
“Now do me a favor and bend over.”

“Why, what are you going to do?”
 
I held my breath waiting for his answer.

He leaned in and spoke softly next to my ear.
 
“I’m going to fuck you from behind.”
 
He ran his hand up my spine from my rear end to my shoulder blades, pushing forward on my upper back.

A thrill shot through me like an electric shock, and I was instantly ready for him.
 
I smiled, barely containing my excitement as I spread my legs and leaned over, grabbing the trunk of the tree.
 
My breasts hung down, the cool air tickling their sensitive skin as my fingers dug into the rough, hard bark.
 
His velvety hard length came up to touch my swollen place and he gripped one of my hips in his strong, warm hand.

I couldn’t stop moaning as he pulled my hips back and slid into me once again.

Chapter Thirty-Six

OUR RIDE BACK TO THE house went a lot faster then the ride out to the meadow.
 
The sun was getting nearer the horizon and my belly was full from the food Mack had fed me with his own hands as the ranch came into view.

My brain was going a thousand miles an hour, trying to find some kind of fall back plan for my life or something.
 
The connection Mack and I had made today had done nothing but complicate things even more.
 
A glimmer of temptation was keeping me from just putting my foot down and insisting he let me go.
 
All I could see down that path was loneliness and despair, and for once I didn’t feel like I was going to be completely happy following the script I’d written so long ago.

“You’re thinking too much again,” said Mack, not even looking back.

“Shush, you have no idea what I’m thinking.”

“You’re trying to figure out if you should make me sign those damn papers or just go with the flow and see where it takes you.”

“I never go with the flow,” I said, feeling grouchy.

“You said you’d stay through the picnic so you have to stay.
 
I already texted my mom and she’s counting on you to help.”

“Dammit, Mack, that’s playing dirty.”
 
He was getting family members on his side, making it harder for me to leave, and he knew it.

I kicked my horse a little to get her to move up to Mack’s side.
 
His horse flinched away a little, but stayed on the path.

“I do what I gotta do to shine, babe.
 
That’s all I’m doing … shining not burning.”

“Screw that.
 
You’re being sneaky and manipulating my heart and I don’t like it.”

He looked at me with all traces of humor gone.
 
“All’s fair in love and war, and I plan on winning, no matter what.”

My nostrils flared.
 
Time to drop the big bomb.
 
“Bradley’s on his way out here.”

Mack did a double take.
 
“Say that again?”

“You heard me.
 
He’s coming out. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Mack actually grinned.
 
“Sounds like my kind of guy.”

I shook my head.
 
“You just don’t get it.
 
He’s not your kind of guy and he’s going to come here and cause a big fuss.
 
I need to be gone when he comes or it’s going to be not only ugly but embarrassing.”

“Not for me, it’s not.
 
And it shouldn’t be for you either.”
 
He reached over to touch me but I flinched away.