Ship's Surgeon (20 page)

“I feel so achingly sorry for him.”

“On the whole I’m not sure that I do. He’s better off without the kind of wife she would have been. Are those brothers of yours only half-brothers?”

“Yes.”

“She was their mother?” When she had given him another affirmative he said, “You certainly clammed up about it, didn’t you?”

“You sound almost ... bitter.”

“That’s the way I feel—shut out, ignored. If I’d been another passenger I could understand it at least a little. But a doctor is a privileged person—one you can trust with your confidence, who’ll advise and help. Up to a point we were also friends; I hope so, anyway. You had no right to wade through everything alone, no right to treat me as a stranger, almost as an enemy.”

“There were threats. I don’t have to go into them, but I was so afraid something I might say would injure the boys. Kristin forced my hand...” She let it tail off.

“Forget it for a bit.” He looked at her then, at her pale face, the strong slim shoulders, and abruptly he asked, “What do you feel about me, Patsy?”

She stiffened with pure fright. He wouldn’t lead up to anything of that kind—not Bill. Straight out, so that he could see how she took it. Sitting there, she felt so darned defenceless, but she did manage to infuse vexation into her tones.

“What in the world do you mean by that?”

“Just what I said. I know you do feel something, and I know the reason you feel it, but
what
is it, exactly?”

“I still don’t know what you’re getting at.” She gestured nervously. “I feel friendship for you, and gratitude for last night...”

“Hell, there must be more than that,” he said, exasperated. “What about that night I kissed you? If I’d been more gentle you’d have responded. I felt it.”

“And you’d have hated it,” she returned swiftly. “So what?”

“All right, I’ll put it another way. How much of that faithful heart of yours is still with that Alan puppy?”

Pat’s heart, already beating fast, began to leap about where it didn’t belong. “It’s not fair to question me like this. Supposing I were to demand what you felt about me?”

“I’d tell you,” he said. “And quick.”

Her hand moved jerkily on the turned-down sheet. “You have me entirely at a disadvantage, and you ask questions that are not only embarrassing, they’re downright unethical in a ship’s doctor!”

“Ha!” Derision and disgust turned the exclamation into almost a snarl. He flung off his jacket. “The braid’s gone, and I’m a man. I’m not your doctor, Patsy. I’m the man who’s going to marry you, but first I want to know where I stand. How much were you in love with that scruffy houseman in England?”

Pat’s hand had flown to her throat; she stared at him. “Not very much,” she said faintly.

“But you’d have married him!”

“I might have, because I thought I
was
in love with him.”

“And when did you discover that you weren’t?”

“When he married someone else. My feelings were hurt because he must have been deceiving me for some time, but it didn’t tear me to bits, as it should have.” Her voice shook. “What was that you ... you said just now?”

“I’m going to marry you,” he said, and took her into his arms. But after he’d kissed her just once, very thoroughly, he said, “Damn this bunk-board. Come on out so that I can hold you.”

She laughed softly, but with a note of hysteria, as he lifted her to the floor. “Do you really love me, Bill?” she entreated him.

“I love you, I want you ... and what’s more I need you. And let me tell you this—I never before needed any woman ...
any
woman.” His voice thickened as he hauled her close. “Say you love me, Patsy.”

“I do love you, Bill. I know it’s the real thing because it never happened to me before. Never.”

He kissed her neck and shoulders, again found her lips. “We’ll get a special licence in Fremantle,” he said. “Then we’ll fly down to Melbourne and see this uncle of yours. If we like the look of him we’ll let him have the boys.”

“I can’t decide about them yet,” she said dreamily. “I have to get used to this.”

“I’ll do the deciding—those twins have a brother now. If they’re in Australia we’ll be able to have them for part of the long school vacation. They can fly in very easily.” Resolutely, he let her go and flung her wrap about her shoulders. “For the love of Mike get into some clothes. My cabin is also a sitting room, and we can talk there without ... well ...” he broke off.

Pat, the colour high in her cheeks, shone up at him. “We really ought to arrange about the boys before we think about ourselves. Bill, perhaps I ought to fly back to England.”

“Not on your life! You’re staying with me. I’ve got a mother over there who’ll be only too happy to make all the arrangements. She might even come over with the boys, to make your acquaintance. Why are you staring? Didn’t you think I ever had a mother?”

“All this ... it’s so alarmingly sudden.”

“It’s not, my lovely. It started six weeks ago, and we’ve packed about six months of living into those weeks. Maybe this part of things is sudden to you, but it isn’t to me. I’ve thought about it constantly.”

“But I thought you were going to leave me for ever at Fremantle.”

“You’re nuts. The only thing I hadn’t decided was whether we’d marry there or in Melbourne.”

“But you hadn’t said a word!”

“I was going to tell you today; there’s still twenty hours to Fremantle. I’ve been waiting for just one small crack in that tight composure of yours, that’s all. If it hadn’t happened otherwise, I’d have forced it.”

“Oh, Bill.” She loved him with her eyes and lips, then demanded, “Is that picture of Bonnie Venning still over your bed?”

“Yes, but I haven’t really seen it for weeks.”

“You said she’d never let you down. Threw it at me like an accusation.”

“Well, it’s true. She’s smiled away there, sweet as you like. I could depend on being greeted every morning by that serene and slightly provocative expression.” He grinned. “Jealous?”

“Wouldn’t you be, if I kept a picture of some man in my past over my bed?”

“I sure would. It would have been accidentally smashed the first time I saw it!”

“Then how do you think I feel about your past amours?” she said warmly. “You certainly can’t have them and me too!”

He laughed aloud, incredulously. “Don’t you know who Bonnie is? She’s the girl Davies married—the permanent doctor on this ship. He met her in Australia and married her in England. In his haste to get away he left her picture, and I thought it a bit of a joke on him to leave it hanging in the cabin while I slept there. He’ll see it still in position when he gets back.”

“Well, you might have told me,” she said crossly. “Now I know why she was so dependable. She couldn’t answer back!”

“I thought you knew it was a picture of Davies’ fiancée ... wife, I should say. Everyone else did—the stewards and other officers. Why didn’t you ask me about her?”

“Oh, never mind. She doesn’t mean anything now.” Pat sighed. “Doesn’t everything seem overwhelming when you’re in love with someone and can’t tell them?”

“It’s behind us, darling. We’re going to have a busy week, getting married and fitting you out for Fiji. Patsy, you won’t mind living there, will you? I’ve taken it on for three years.”

She put a finger on his lips. “I’ll be happy anywhere, with you, and perhaps I’ll be able to work a little, too. I’m a wee bit frightened of getting married so soon, but I want it, Bill.”

Bill showed her that he was a little impatient himself, and Pat felt her fears falling away. She hadn’t imagined life could ever be so full and beautiful as it was now. And it was hardly under way!