Shortie Like Mine (4 page)

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Authors: Ni-Ni Simone

BOOK: Shortie Like Mine
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As I passed by my mother's room, I saw her in bed reading. What was she doing home? Immediately I wondered where the heck Toi was.
“Ma, don't you have to work?”
“I have days off.”
“Why didn't you tell us?”
“ 'Cause the last time I checked, I was the mama.”
“Well, excuse me.” I laughed.
“You're excused. Now come here. I feel like I haven't seen you in a month.”
When I walked in her room, my brother was laying at her feet and I mushed him on the head.
“Monkey dog!” He looked at me and made a face.
“Ah un rudeness! But it's okay, 'cause that's how you act when you're adopted.”
“All right now, Seven,” Mommy said sternly. “And no, Amir. Before you ask, you were not adopted. Now go take a bath and then you can come back for five minutes before you go to bed.”
“Stupid!” he shouted in my face and ran out the room.
“Now, you,” Mommy said, “how was your day?” Instantly my face lit up.
My mother stared at me for a moment. She took her glasses off and laughed. She was the prettiest person I knew. Most people said I was the spitting image of her, and for the first time, with the exception of her not having dimples, I could kind of see it. “Who is he?” She patted her bed for me to sit down. I hated that she could see right through me.
“Nobody.” I scooted next to her and she put her arm around me.
“Fat Mama, are you telling me the truth?” She reached on her nightstand, grabbed her Pepsi, and started drinking it.
“No.” I felt like the goofiest kid in the world.
“Then tell me. If you tell me, then I'll tell you.”
“About what?!” I said, excited. “You got a boyfriend?! And I didn't do the hook-up? Man-Man and Cousin Shake are gon' die.”
“I
do not
need you hooking me up, thank you. Trust me, divorcing your daddy is hard enough.”
“Oh.” I hated when she reminded me that my daddy was no longer around. I haven't seen him in over a year. His job relocated and so did he ... California someplace. Besides, ever since he cheated on my mother and had another baby, I refused to talk to him. My daddy still calls every weekend trying to get me or my sister on the phone, but I avoid him and Toi is never home when he calls. Man-Man is the only one who gives him the time of day. “Then what is it?”
“Nope, tell me first.”
I sighed. “Okay ... okay ... okay ... okay ...”
“Can you stop saying okay and talk?”
I took a deep breath. Finally, I was going to admit this to somebody other than Shae. “I think I'm 'bout to be married.”
“What?!” Her soda flew out her mouth as if she were spraying air freshener,
“Not literally, Ma. God!”
“Oh.” She grabbed a Kleenex and wiped her mouth. “Well, you better make me understand, because you're going to college and that's that. We're going on the black college tour and everything next year. I'm already packed. And no sex!”
“Huh? Where did that come from?”
“I just threw that in there. Now, who is he?”
“I don't even wanna tell you now.”
“Would you tell me?” She laughed. “Okay, I'll try for five minutes to not be your mother.”
“Uhmm hmm.”
“What's his name?”
“Josiah ...” I mumbled.
“Who?”
“Josiah ...”
“Biblical name, very nice. Now, do I know him?”
“No, he goes to my school. But I've been knowing him since I was about eleven and he was thirteen. He's a senior now.”
“A senior? Is he going to college?”
“I don't know.”
“You better find out ... otherwise, keep it movin'!”
“Maaaaaa ... would you stop preachin' and listen? Didn't you say five minutes without you being my mother?”
“Okay, you got three minutes left. Now, is he saying you feel me after every other word?”
“No, he doesn't talk like that.”
“Good. Is Cousin Shake gon' yell ‘Take cover' when he comes in the house?”
“No.”
“Is he smart?”
“I didn't ask to see his report card.”
“Well, I need a copy.”
“Maaaaa!”
“Alright.” She laughed. “Now, on to the important stuff. Is he cute?”
“Ma ... he's so fine,” I said in the dreamiest voice I could muster up, “that I'm tempted to call him pretty.”
She leaned back against her iron headboard. “That's the same thing I said about your daddy.”
“Ill.” I was disgusted. “Ma, please, stop the visual.”
“Excuse you, your father is very handsome. Anyway, back to Mr. Pretty. When am I meeting him and his mama ... and daddy, if he has one.”
“See Ma.” Already I was embarrassed. “Why you gotta be swat team on him?”
“ 'Cause you're my child.”
“But you don't need to know all those people.”
“Yes, I do,” she assured me. “ 'Cause if they're crazy, then he's crazy too. And we gon' get rid of the drama early.”
“That ain't right, Ma. You don't even know the boy and already you thinking he might be crazy ...” I fell out laughing. “Now, what's your news?”
“I'm going to be starting a new job so I can be home a little more.”
Immediately all my laughing stopped. “Really? Did you tell my sister?”
“I haven't seen your sister.”
“Did you call her cell phone?”
“Uhmm hmm, I sure did. I called her before I got home and she told me she was in the bed.”
“Oh.”
At least she didn't lie.
“Don't you worry about your sister. Ya mama got this. Remember, I was sixteen before. Now go on and get ready for bed.”
“I have to finish my homework first.”
“Well then, do that and then go to bed.”
“Alright.” I practically flew out the room. I needed to call Toi before she climbs in the window tomorrow morning and catches a beat-down. As soon as I ran down the hall, I walked right into Man-Man, who stood there with a 7-Eleven Big Gulp cup filled with water and ice. And just as I went to scream, “Mommy!!!!!” he threw it ... all ... in ... my ... face ...
All I could do was stand there. “I'm ... gon' ... kick yo' ...”
5
Shoulda known better than to think I would leave ...
 
—MONICA, “YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER”
 
 
 
“
S
even, get up!” I did all I could to get my mother out of my dream with Josiah, but she wouldn't leave us alone. “Wake up, Seven.” My hips shook. “Wake up!”
“Hmmm,” I said groggily. I wanted to get back to dreamin', but instead I opened one eye slowly and looked at her.
“Where is your sister?”
“At the library.” I turned over, pulled the covers over my head, and did all I could to drift back to sleep.
“Seven! Wake up!” She pulled the covers off.
“Ma!!” I sat up. “I didn't leave those dishes in the sink.”
“Seven.” She patted me on the cheek. “You're dream drunk. Wake up.”
“I'm woke.” I rubbed my eyes. “I'm up.”
“It's two o'clock in the morning. Where is your sister?”
I looked at the clock for confirmation and then I looked at Toi's bed, which was empty. “She's sleep.” I grabbed my pillow, put it over my face, and fell straight back onto the bed.
“Do you hear me talking to you?!”
“Ma, for real, I don't know.” I mumbled under the pillow and my mother snatched it off.
“Let me tell you something.” My mother placed her hands on her hips, squinted her eyes, and spoke while biting into her bottom lip. “Lie to me again and see what happens! Now
you
got two seconds to tell me where she is before I do an operation on you called beat-down! Now unless you wanna catch it, like you a woman off the street steppin' to me, you will tell me where she is by the time I count to two or else you will need assistance to breathe. One ...”
“At Qua's over on Nye.”
I hate I let her punk me!
“What?! How long has this been going on? And what kind of mother would allow her eighteen-year-old son to have his sixteen-year-old girlfriend spend the night?!”
“That's a good question.”
“You being smart?”
“No.”
“Didn't think so. Now give me the exact address.”
My eyes widened. “You not going over there?” I knew Toi had asked for it, but dang, who wants their mother dragging them out of their boyfriend's house? I was embarrassed for her. I'd almost rather if Cousin Shake came and got me. At least I would know he was all talk, but my mother ... there's no telling what she would do. “Ma, you're scaring me. You can't go over there. Do you see what time it is? You going on Nye ... alone?”
“I'm not going alone.”
“Well ... who are you going with?”
“You.”
I don't think so ... not the kid
. She had to be joking. “Ma, for real, who are you going with?”
My mother flipped on my bedroom light. “Get up!”
“Ma, can't we just call her and tell her to come home?”
“If I tell you to get up again, I'ma knock you straight through the next two years. And when I get over there and get a hold of this boy's mama, whooool, all of Newark is gon' know about me.”
“Ma”—I stood up—“you don't understand.” My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty. “You can't be going around Newark beating up people's mamas.”
“Oh, yeah?” she said sarcastically. “Hmph, we gon' see. Y'all think I'ma joke. But let me tell you now I'm not losing ya'll to no streets.”
“Maybe she's at the store.”
“Shut up, Seven, 'cause all that's open this time of night are legs.”
“But Maaaaaaaaa.” I stomped my feet like I was five again. “He doesn't live with his mother. He lives alone.”
I can't believe I let that slip out
.
“Alone? At eighteen?”
“Yes—no—yes.” I was not doing well with covering up.
“Which is it?”
“He lives alone but he's not eighteen?”
“What?! How old is he?”
“Maaaa ...”
“Girl” ... By this time my mother's breath was hitting my nose and it didn't smell too good.
“Ma”—I covered my nose—“did you brush your teeth?”
My mother raised her hand back. “Ai'ight.” I spit out his age. “He's twenty!”
“Twenty?! I'ma kill her. Let's go!”
“Well, if you gon' kill her, Ma, I don't want to go. Let me remember her the way she was.”
She stood silent and shot me a dagger with her eyes. Three things I knew: when she stopped talking, gave me the evil eye, or started repeating herself, she was due to explode any minute. I started chewing the inside of my cheek. “Should I wear all black?” and then I gave a stupid laugh. I just thought I would say something to lighten the mood. It didn't work.
I begged my mother to call one of my uncles or all four of them but for some reason she thought she was G.I. Jane and that her taped-up bat had something to prove.
Nye was live when my mother parked her black Ford Taurus in front of Qua's house. There were people on practically every porch in his neighborhood: dancing, smoking, and drinking. The blocks were lined with folks of all ages—fiends, detectives, and narcs. The bodega had pulled down its steel gates and was now selling loose cigarettes and candy through bulletproof glass and a turnaround. Half of the street lamps seemed to be taking the night off ... and here was my mother, Captain Save-the-Day, with a pink housecoat wrapped around her like a cyclone and doobie pins in her hair ... and here I was, the dumb lil' sidekick.
I couldn't believe this. I had a good mind to beat-down my sister myself. I told her time and time again she was going to get in trouble and to stop staying out all night. I told her and I told her ... and what did she do? She did what she wanted to do and now she's turned my mother into a raving lunatic in matted bedroom shoes flopping against the concrete.
“All I try and do ...” my mother said as we walked onto Qua's porch. “It's just never enough, is it, Seven? Y'all just running around in the streets buck wild like two lil' hooligans.”
“Ma, I didn't do nothin'.”
“Shut up, 'cause you were thinkin' somethin' when I walked in that room. I swear, I try ... and I try ... and I try ... and I try ...”
Oh God, she was repeating herself.
“... And I try and what do I get in return? Children who lie to me and stay out all night!”
“I was in the bed. I come home every night!”
“Did I give you permission to talk?! Now, ring the bell!”
“Ma, we're right here,” I said as we stood in front of the door. “Can't we just call her and tell her to come outside.”
My mother pushed me on my shoulder. “Ring that bell.” I hated that Toi's life had to end like this.
I rang the bell. “Who is it?” a deep voice yelled from behind.
“Qua, this is Seven. Is my sister there?”
“This not Qua, but hold up.” A few seconds later the front door opened up and it seemed that the party from outside had drifted in here. The room was filled with Qua's boys, the TV was extremely loud and turned to ESPN, and Jay-Z and Beyoncé's “Bonnie and Clyde” was bumpin' through the Bose speakers. There was alcohol all about, with open bottles of Seagram's Seven gin and juice mix, Thug Passion, and passion fruit Alizé. And the air smelled like weed. “Wassup, Ma?” Qua said as he stood in the doorway.
“A whole lot gon' be up,” my mother said as she stormed in, “if Toi Sharee McKnight ... don't get her ass out here! Right now!”
“Yo,” one of Qua's boys said, “I thought Shortie said she ain't have no sisters.” He looked my mother up and down. “I'm sayin', though, what's good with you boo. You easy like your sister in the other room?”
“Lil' boy, I will hurt you! Toi, get yo' grown ass out here right goddamit now!”
“Hold up,” Qua said, “you can chill with all that—”
“Ma.” Toi came stumbling out of Qua's bedroom with her clothes twisted every which way but the right way, holding her shoes in her hand.
She is so stupid.
“Get your things!” my mother said with tears streaming from her eyes, but with a stern voice that dared anybody to try her. Qua just stood there looking at my mother like she was crazy. “You know you ain't got to leave, right?” he said to Toi as if he were ghettohood defending Boom-Kiki's honor.
My sister looked at him filled with amazement. “What?”
“Get your things!” my mother said more as a warning than a statement. “And let's go, Toi.”
“I
said,”
Qua stressed, “you ain't gotta go nowhere.” His looks seemed to shoot straight through my mother. “You cool right where you are.” Then he looked at Toi, “I told you, I love you, girl.”
“Ma ...” Toi cocked her neck and spoke as if she were liberated and was now going to flex on my mother, yet I could still hear nervousness in her voice. Now I knew for sure she superseded dumb. “I don't appreciate how you came up in here and I think you need to just—”
“Need to just what?” My mother lifted her bat in the air. “Whip yo' retarded azz? If you think I'm leaving here without you, you even dumber than I thought, 'cause by the time I get finished with you, you'll be molly-whopped all over this spot. Now try me!
You ain't got to go,
” my mother screamed, mocking them sarcastically. “
And you don't appreciate
. . . What don't you appreciate, Toi?! Huh? I don't appreciate having to go through forty-eight hours, thirty-nine minutes, and seventeen seconds of labor with you!
“I don't appreciate you coloring on my white walls when you were five. I don't appreciate you peeing in the bed until you were ten and I had to clean your pissy behind. What you don't appreciate! I don't appreciate having to spend all my damn money on some lil' ungrateful child who grew up to be a tramp and now she thinks she can stand up in my face like she's a woman and tell me where she is and ain't going 'cause she's listening to some triflin' nothin' of a dope dealer who can't even hustle his way out a paper bag, let alone off Nye Avenue. No good—dirty dog—I wish you would stand up here and talk to me crazy 'cause I promise you, I will whip, wop, and bop yo' azz all over this floor!” She mushed Toi in the head. “Now, I said let's go!”
I was hoping Toi didn't flex anymore and really try to stay here with Qua, because from what I could see my mother was prepared to bury both of them at any moment.
“Don't hurt nobody in that housecoat, big mama, wit' yo' sexy self,” some of Qua's boys said as my mother snatched Toi by her shoulder and practically pushed her out the door.
From inside, Qua's boys shouted after my mama: “Look at you, girl, it's your world, girl ... Yo, son, I wanna see Mama in the daylight.” Another one said, “Mom, Dukes, forget lil' shortie duwap, why don't you punish me ...!” and on they went.
My mother shoved Toi in the backseat of the car, slammed the door, and we took off. “How could you do this to me?” Toi screamed. “How could you?” she screamed again.
“Don't scream no more.” My mother looked at her in the rearview mirror. “Not up in here. I'm warning you, don't do it.”
“YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!!”
I was convinced Toi had lost her mind.
My mother pulled the car over so fast I just knew I had whiplash. As the tires came to a screeching halt, all I could do was close my eyes and pray my sister survived. My mother threw the car in park, turned around backwards, got on her knees, reached behind the seat, and all I heard was WHAP, BAP, BOOM! Then my mother turned back around and looked at her nails. “You be lucky I didn't break one!” Then she lit a cigarette and looked in the rearview mirror before taking off.

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