Shortie Like Mine (8 page)

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Authors: Ni-Ni Simone

BOOK: Shortie Like Mine
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“I'll meet you outside.” I walked back into the gym and over to Shae, with my heart racing a thousand miles per minute. “I got a ride, so you and Big Country can handle that.” She didn't seem too disappointed with his arm draped around her.
“Okay, Seven, no problem.” I don't even think she looked my way when she said that.
Josiah drove a silver '89 Acura Legend. His car may have been old but it was fly, kitted up, and fully loaded. When I sat down in his black leather passenger seat I felt as if I belonged there and all that had been missing from his car was me. He turned on the radio and Ciara's “And I” was playing ... which I swore had to be our song. Oh, I was in love and he just didn't know it.
I couldn't believe this was happening to me. This had only happened once before but I was dreaming, and my mother woke me up.
I pinched myself to see if this was real and so far it was ... I was alive and the man sitting next to me was Josiah ... I think there really is a God.
I psyched myself up to remain calm. I kept saying,
Seven, you got this. Just suck ya stomach in and be cool. Don't sweat it, 'cause you gon' mess up if you do, but you fabulous, remember that. Act like you would if Shae was around, just don't be as silly with it. Be sweet ... like a Jolly Rancher.
“Seven”—he looked at me and then quickly turned back to the street—“keep it funky. Why every time you around me, you ain't pushin' up? You see I'm here, what more ya man need to do? You see I'm tryna get wit' you.”
I almost had whiplash, my heart was thundering so loud I thought we had an accident. I was tempted to ask him to check my pulse. “What are you talking about?”
“Like for instance, the other day at your job, you didn't even say nothin'.”
“Boy pa'leese, you played me so far to the left I was on the right.”
Josiah fell out laughing. “Yo, that's the end of that. You killing me with the jokes. Besides, it was you ...” We stopped at a red light. “You leave me speechless.” He cocked his head to the side and stared at me.
I didn't know what to say, so I said, “Why you and Dollah always beefin'?”
“Dollah? You wanna talk about Dollah?” I could tell he was caught off-guard.
“I just asked a question.” I felt like I was defending myself.
“Ai'ight, me and Dollah always beefin' because he don't have no respect.”
“I don't think Deeyah would agree.”
“How about this—any chick that messes with Dollah is a ho. Period.”
“A ho?” I took offense. I started to place my hand on my hip and say,
“Listen, baby daddy, don't be calling me no ho, ya scrub!”
But instead I said, “Well, if Deeyah is a ho because she messed with Dollah and you messed with Deeyah then what does that make you?”
Let's see how you come back from that one, Mr. Judgmental.
“It makes me available.”
Oh, I love him so much!
“Besides,” he went on, “all Dollah gon' do for Deeyah is supersize her meal at Burger King.” He took off as the light turned green.
“No, you didn't dis Burger King.”
“You know what I mean. And listen, the next time you don't know how to respond to something I just said to you, don't change the subject. Just look at me and tell me how you feel or better yet, just admit you don't know what to say.”
I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth and for a brief moment I didn't feel sixteen. I felt grown and for some reason I felt uncomfortable about it.
I guess he could tell that I was feeling funny, so he laughed and said, “So what, you like all the other chicks? You on me 'cause I play ball?”
“Ah un rudeness.” I gave him a talk-to-the-hand motion. “If I'm not mistaken, you tryna kick it to me. Besides”—I clicked my tongue—“do I look like a groupie?”
“Turn to the side and let me see. Yeah, you look a lil' like a groupie, right around the nose.”
I punched him playfully on the arm. He stopped at another red light. “What?” He smiled. “You mad?”
I pouted my lips and my dimples sunk like a ship's anchor into my cheeks. I gave him the same look I used to give my daddy when I wanted my way.
“Oh, now you wanna give me that look.”
“What look?” I held the magical face.
“The look that made me notice you in the first place. The look that's gon' end up letting you get your way.”
“I don't know what you talking about.”
The light changed. “Sure you don't. And stop looking at me like that before I start acting stupid, carrying your books and doing your homework everyday.” He laughed.
And I laughed too. But little did he know I was tucking my “get what I want” look in my back pocket, in case of an emergency.
Before I knew it we were in front of my house. He cut the car off and turned to look at me. “So, tell me what you need.”
“Somebody that's down for me.”
I know I sound stupid
.
“Yeah, I got you, ma.” He brushed my hair behind my ear and faced me. “Man”—he paused—“you so pretty.”
I hated that I couldn't stop blushing.
“So I was thinking”—his left arm hung over the steering wheel and his right arm draped around my shoulder—“that maybe we could do this.” And just as I closed my eyes and felt his lips press against mine, I heard my mother calling my name. Instantly I jumped and turned around. I thought I was dreaming again, but this was real and my mother was standing at his car window in tears.
“Ma.” I jumped out the car. “I'm still a virgin.”
“Seven—”
“And that was my first kiss ...”
“Seven—”
“Matter-fact, it wasn't even that good.”
“Would you shut up?!”
I felt like the world's biggest dummy. “What's wrong?”
“I need you to stay in the house with Man-Man. I need to go pick up your sister.”
“Where is she?” I panicked.
“In jail.” My mother looked around like she was lost. “I gotta go, Seven!” and she jumped in her car and left.
“Do you need me, Seven?” Josiah said, before I turned and went in the house. As I shut the door and tears filled my eyes, I couldn't quite remember if I'd said good-bye.
8
All I need in this life of sin
Is me and my boyfriend ...
 
—JAY-Z FEAT. BEYONCÉ, “ '03 BONNIE & CLYDE”
 
 
 
I
t was six o'clock in the morning and I had to sit through my mother screaming and crying about how tired she was of
us
not listening. Here was the
us
again, and I hadn't done anything. Apparently Ghetto Charming, better known as Quamir Davis, had a number assigned to his name that was plastered across his Essex County Jail ID. One that my sister must've been fond of, because now she had one of her own, except hers was from Essex County Juvenile Detention Center.
According to the
Star-Ledger,
Quamir's house was a drug trap, and you know who was laid up in the bed when the place was raided. And although she was under eighteen, they arrested her, took her to juvie, and released her to my mother's custody, which all added up to this: Toi hadn't learned her lesson so my daddy had left Hollywood and returned to Ghettowood so he could stand in my mother's kitchen in the same spot where he told her he was leaving us, with his chest puffed out, giving us a look like he could still tell us what to do.
“You know not to say nothing to me, right?” I spat at Toi after my mother instructed me to get up from the table and get ready for school. Toi just sat there with tears streaming down her copper cheeks, wearing my Burger King uniform that I'd completely forgotten she had on. “Stupid.”
“That's enough, Seven!” my mother interjected, “ 'cause you're not exactly off the hook, either. Don't think I didn't peep that your sister had on your work uniform, which means she snuck out with your assistance. So actually I should get you for not minding your business and interfering with me raising my child. I have reasons for the things I do and I don't appreciate you all breaking my rules, like you grown. And if the truth be told, the only reason I haven't caught either one of y'all”—she waived her index finger—“with a one and two is because if I do, I'm really hurt you, so it's best if I keep my hands to myself ... at least at this moment ... but oooh hoooooo.” She smirked. “Y'all will get it, trust me. Be on notice and at all times, when you around me, watch ya back, 'cause I'm comin' for you!”
“Witcha grown self!” Cousin Shake threw his two cents in. “Lyin' to me like lil' Kim had a job.”
“Oh, she had a job,” my daddy added, “a job working for Quamir, the kingpin!” All I could do was roll my eyes at the top of my head. My daddy thinks every drug dealer is a kingpin. Well, if that's the case, I should think that every light skinned black man who looks like Boris Kojo—just like my daddy does—is a no good dirty dog, who cheats on his wife and trades his old children in for a new one. “I didn't raise you to be with no kingpin!” he spat.
“He wasn't a kingpin,” my sister cried. “You need to mind your business!”
“Yeah, what you care for?” I added. “Don't you have another family to be concerned about? What you here for anyway? To show off your new life?!”
“Don't speak to your father like that!” my mother defended him.
“Who the hell are you two talking to?!” My daddy raised his voice as the veins in his neck thumped. “I'm your father!”
“And when did you think of that, before or after you left us?” I asked.
“I didn't leave you! I left your mother! There's a difference.”
“There's no difference. That's my mother and what you did to her you did to all of us. So you can just go back to where you came from. And don't think you came back here to sleep in my mother's bed!”
My daddy's eyes bugged out but as he stormed toward me, Cousin Shake stood in the way. “Calm down, Tre. She's a good kid. She's just hurt that's all.”
I did all I could not to cry. “I gotta get ready for school.”
I looked at my sister and rolled my eyes. “All this behind a dang weed pusher!”
“Oh, so that's what he was!” my mother snapped. “A weed pusher. You proud of yourself, Toi? You've ruined your life behind some low-level weed pusher, so now what kinda life you gon' have for your baby?!”
“Baby, what baby?” I spun around toward my sister and asked.
“Tell her!” My mother screamed with tears flying from her eyes.
“Calm down, Grier,” my daddy said.
“Don't you,” she spat at him as if there were a knife in her throat, “say nothin' to me ... I could take and smack the hell outta you right now, you know that?! The answer to your question, Seven, is that your sister's pregnant!”
Immediately my mouth flew open and Cousin Shake started living up to his name and shaking all over the place. Did my mother just say that my sister was pregnant? Oh ... my ... God, this must be somebody else's life. Tell me that she did not go out and get knocked up by Quamir. She must've been born dumb because there is no way you just stumble upon this type of stupidity.
“You're pregnant, Toi?” I was in shock. Of all the things I knew she could be, being pregnant wasn't one of them. “Huh? How do you know that?”
“Answer your sister!” my mother screamed.
“I've known all week. I just didn't tell nobody but Qua.”
“What you gon' do with a baby?”
“Don't you worry about what I'ma do with my baby!” Toi yelled. “My child is wanted, me and Quamir wanted a family.”
I didn't think my mother's hand could travel so fast as it did across Toi's cheek. “You not even eighteen and you planning to have a family? Are you serious? Do you know what being pregnant means! You grown now, you know that, right? I had three kids and I'm only taking care of three I had. Anybody else that comes in here is on their own.”
“And I'm on disability so don't even look at me,” Cousin Shake added.
“She's getting an abortion,” my daddy said matter-factly. “There's no way she's having a baby by some lowlife, who's just going to leave her to raise this child alone. My daughter will not have that kind of life!”
“No,” my mother said. “That's reserved strictly for her mother.”
My father looked at her and immediately shut up.
“I'm having my baby,” Toi cried.
“So now you're ready to be a mother?” I could see my mother's broken heart written all over her face. “And what's your plan, Toi, have you worked that out? So you gon' work, go to school, raise a baby, pay for a sitter, take this child to the doctor, and somehow in between all of this be a teenager?! What about college, Toi? What about making something of yourself?! You wanna be like me, working two jobs to make ends meet?! Is this where you wanna be the rest of your life? I swear, you're a bigger fool than I thought.”
“It's not your problem,” Toi snapped at my mother. “So what you worried for?! You too busy working all the time and running from daddy, dogging you out. You just bitter, a bitter, jealous, and nagging woman who could only dream up how to keep a man, so don't you worry about me. Me and my man, we got this!”
Before anyone knew it, my mother had slapped Toi so hard she fell backwards out of her chair. “I don't know who you think you talking to”—she hovered over Toi—“but let me tell you something. Don't you ever, and I mean ever as long as you stay black and there is a God, ever speak to me like that again, because as sure as I'm standing here, you gon' die. Let me tell you something, little girl. I'ma woman and I can take care of me and mine. What can you take care of? In case you forgot, I take care of you. Who do you think pays the light bill, the phone bills, the gas bill, the mortgage, buys food, cooks the damn food, buys clothes, and everything else you need? Me, the nagging, bitter, and jealous one! My mother always told me that two women can't live in the same house so since you so grown, you need to figure out where you gon' go. You going back to California with your father?”
“I—I—I—I—” my father stuttered.
“That's what I thought. So it looks to me, Miss Toi, that since your boyfriend's in jail and your daddy don't seem to want you where he is, you homeless. Which means you don't have a rusted pot to piss in or a cracked window to throw it out of!”
“Grier, you being a little too hard on the girl,” my father said. “She's getting an abortion period and that's the end of it.”
“You can't make her have an abortion, Tre!”
“I'm having my baby,” Toi repeated, sounding sure of herself.
“And how are you going to do that?” my father asked.
“My child has a father! Besides, we're getting married!”
“I'll be damned. You're under eighteen and there's no way I'm signing you over to some kingpin named Qua.”
“You gon' get married when?” my mother asked. “Before or after he gets outta jail, or better yet, before or after you do? You got a case remember, and when we left the precinct this morning he still hadn't claimed the drugs as his own, which means you're more than parents, you're codefendants on a case.”
“Grier, don't tell the girl that,” my father said. “I'ma get you a lawyer and pray that he can make this go away.”
“Why are you always looking for something to go away?!” my mother screamed at him. “Is that why you left us here and moved to the other side of the country? Because you wanted us to go away so you could play Daddy-of-the-year to your kid over there!”
“Now wait a minute, I never gave up on my kids. I call here and nobody wants to talk to me. What am I supposed to do?!”
“All I know is that this is a mess! A complete and utter mess! Go to your room!” my mother screamed at Toi. “I'm sick of looking at you! And Seven, what did I tell you to do? I said get ready for school!”
This had to be a nightmare. I simply left the kitchen, got dressed for school, and met Shae at the bus stop.
“Why you so quiet?” Shae asked as we rode the bus.
“My sister's pregnant.” I sighed.
“What?” Shae said as if I'd spoken a foreign language.
“You heard me, she's pregnant. And that's not the whole of it.”
“What else?”
I pressed the buzzer so we could get off at the upcoming stop. “She got arrested last night. Qua's house was raided and she was there when it happened.”
“You lyin'.”
“No, I'm not lyin',” I said as we stepped off the bus. “She's just stupid.”
All morning during class I had a bad feeling in my stomach, like my whole life was coming to an end. I chalked it up to me being too close to my sister and maybe feeling some of her pain ... or me being ticked about how dumb she'd turned out to be. But whatever the reason, I wished this feeling would go away.
Finally it was lunchtime and I could sit down and talk to Shae about how I was feeling, about Josiah, and everything that happened last night. And of course I couldn't wait to hear what action she and Melvin had gotten into.
When I went to the cafeteria, Shae, Yaanah, Ki-Ki, and Deeyah were all sitting at a table together. From the look on Shae's face, this was not her idea.
“Yo, Cornbread!” Melvin yelled as I walked to the table and sat next to Shae. He sat a tray of food in front of her and said, “That's for my boo.”
Heck. I looked around for Josiah, who was sitting at a table with his boys gettin' a serious grub on. Dang, for a quick minute I was hatin'. “Look at you.” I smiled at Shae who was glowing.
“Wow,” Ki-Ki said, “look at you, Shae. And to think I've been feeling sorry for you.”
“Sorry for me?” Shae frowned. “For what?”
“Uhmmm, nothing ... at least not yet.”
“So, Seven,” Deeyah snapped, cutting across Ki-Ki, “no need to lie. You tryna get with Josiah? You know he don't like fat girls. He only gon' use you to do his work and get straight As.”
“And what he use you for?” I snapped. “ 'Cause it sure wasn't your grades.”
“You're a miserable slob,” Deeyah said that so loud that the entire cafeteria became quiet. “And word is that you a ho, 'cause you don't even know Josiah and already you sleeping with him. And I won't mention what else you doing that's hittin' below the belt!”
“Oh, heck no!” Shae jumped up. “What you wanna throw Deeyah?! 'Cause you ain't 'bout to be talking to my girl like that!”
“Your girl. Oh, please!” Deeyah snapped. “Play it, Ki-Ki.” And at that moment Ki-Ki whipped out her cell phone and played my entire conversation about me being in love with Josiah and wanting him for myself, and me not caring that he was Deeyah's boyfriend. I couldn't believe this. She had recorded our conversation? Is that why she kept playing with her cell phone that day? Oh ... my ... God ... I don't believe this. I had never been so humiliated in my life. Everybody, including Josiah, was looking at me like I was crazy.

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