Shot to Hell (Four Horsemen MC #7) (26 page)

“You thought I still had feelin’s for you.”

Ash did, but
fool me once
. Besides, that emotion was left over from her teen crush, so it didn’t mean a damn thing…to either of them.

Steele slipped his hands into his pockets, and she could hear the
thunk
of his foot against her booth.

Then crickets.

“And what about you? You got feelin’s for me? Are you even capable?”

“Of course I feel.”

She waited for him to explain, but he sat there doing a real good bump on a log impression.

Ash changed the subject. “Since we’re bein’ all open and honest. There’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to know for years.”

“What?”

“Why did you choose your relationship with Abe over me back then? Because you only wanted to fuck me?”

“No…I….” Steele pushed a hand through his hair. “Because I needed you both. I didn’t have anyone, not really. My mom worked her ass off keepin’ a roof over my head and food in my belly. I hardly ever saw her. When she wasn’t workin’, she was so exhausted she slept most of the time. I was alone.”

“Until you became friends with Abe.”

He nodded. “And then I had a family. Your parents came to my games. Abe was like a brother.”

“And he was afraid you would use me and toss me away.”

Steele rubbed the back of his neck. “Can’t say as I blame him. I was an asshole—still am when it comes to women. He was lookin’ out for you.”

“You love ’em and leave ’em….” Ash bit her lip. “And you would’ve left me too.”

He placed a hand over his mouth, as if trying to shove the words back in. Steele dropped the hand to his heart, and his eyes were suspiciously shiny. “Ash, you deserved better than me. You still do. You should marry a man with a career and a good home. Someone who’s settled and successful…and on the right side of the law.”

Ash lifted her chin. “Do you think money matters to me?” If she’d wanted to marry well, she would’ve dated one of those Brooks boys in town with the rich, oil baron father.

His wavering smile tore her up. “Take it from someone who grew up without any, it does.”

She felt a pang for the poor kid he’d been. He was right, Ash didn’t know what it was like to go without.

“I’m not the marryin’ sort.”

Steele sat up straighter in his seat. “What’s done is done. We can’t change what happened. Have dinner with me tonight.”

Ash blinked, thrown by the topic change. “Like a date?”

He shook his head. “Not
like
a date, an actual date.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

She bit the inside of her cheek. “What’s the point? It’s not goin’ anywhere.”

“You’ll see.”

“Okay, let’s try another question. Where?”

Steele gestured to the room. “Hades is the only game in town. Meet you here at seven?”

She hesitated.

“Come on. Don’t say no.”

Ash got to her feet. “Fine, see you later tonight.” Ash walked out before she agreed to anything else.

***

Steele was nervous.

He waited on the sidewalk in front of Hades. He hadn’t been on an honest to God date in…well, never. Drinks with a woman at a bar didn’t count. He couldn’t recall being this stirred up since he’d gone over to the Calhoun house as a teen, and he’d worked himself into a tizzy every damn time.

Earlier, Steele had showered, shaved, and slapped on some citrus-scented aftershave. He’d even dressed up a bit—denim shirt, a newer pair of jeans, and the boots Cowboy had given him for Christmas. Instead of his cut, he wore a black Carhartt jacket.

And then he saw Ash, striding toward him with swaying hips.

Fuck me, she’s in a dress.

Ash wore a black lace number showing a teasing amount of cleavage. She wore matching heels too. When she got closer, he admired the red nails and lips. And she’d worn his jacket. His name and old jersey number were on the back. It was as close as he’d get to putting his name on her.

She looked him up and down. “You clean up real good.”

“So do you.” He should’ve done this years ago, Abe’s objections be damned.

“Oh, this? Fifteen-ninety-five on clearance.” Ash smoothed the dress, running her fingertips over her hips. “Walmart carries both ammo and dresses.”

“Ain’t that convenient? Let me escort you to the table.” Steele offered her an arm. “I called in a favor, and Voodoo made us somethin’ special for tonight.”

With a smile, Ash took it and he walked her inside. It was a promising beginning to his first real date.

Voodoo had made them grilled salmon with roasted asparagus, which was healthy enough to please her without making Steele gag on chick food. Throughout the meal, they made pleasant conversation, mostly talking about their shared past—old friends and warm school memories. It went way more smoothly than Steele had thought it would.

He held his breath when Voodoo returned with dessert—chocolate mousse, her favorite. His brother served the mousse in chilled parfait glasses with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top.

Voo set the glasses down on the table with a flourish. “Chocolate mousse, my
grandmere’s
recipe. It’s good juju, so I made enough for the whole diner.
Bon appétit.
"

Steele glanced around the room, and sure enough, everyone had glasses of the rich dessert. Justice and Ace poked at theirs with spoons, as if they expected the dessert to bite them.

“This looks amazing.” Ash dipped a fingertip into the cloud of whipped cream and licked it clean. She beamed at Voo. “Thank you.”

Steele imagined her licking other things. He shifted in the seat, trying to get himself under control.

Voo cast him a knowing look, but Ash was too busy admiring the chef’s artistry to notice.

“Yeah, thanks, brother. Now go away.” Steele shooed him off with one hand.

Tossing a towel over his shoulder, Voo sauntered away like a king in his own castle.

Ash smiled. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“How could I forget?”

Their graduation night had been burned into his memory. He’d known an era was coming to a close, so he’d drank in every sight, every sound. And he didn’t mean leaving high school and starting his adult life. Steele knew Ash would no longer be a fixture of his life. Sure enough, they’d only seen each other a few times afterward.

Not to mention watching her enjoy the decadent dessert had been erotic as hell—the cream on the corner of her mouth, the way she’d closed her eyes as she savored the dark chocolate on her tongue, how she’d held his gaze as she licked the back of the spoon.

Damnation, he was already hard. Steele dragged his coat over his lap.

She raised a curious brow.

“Cold,” he muttered. “You’d better dig in. Voo takes juju seriously. If you don’t eat some, he might slit your throat with a butter knife.” Steele was only half joking. He took a spoonful of the mousse and glanced over at Voo, who watched them from the counter.

His brother nodded and then turned to another patron.

Ash savored her dessert while Steele watched with a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the table. When she finished hers and lapped at the spoon, Steele pushed his own glass forward.

“You’re sure you don’t want it?”

Steele nodded.

“Why?”

He crooked a finger as he leaned forward, and she met him in the middle. His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Why do you think?”

“Ohhhh.”

With a wicked grin, Steele leaned back in his seat and watched.

Ash slowly finished the mousse, taking her sweet time with it just to torture his sorry ass. And fuck if it wasn’t hotter than any porn flick he’d seen.

After he paid the bill, they stood outside together, shivering in the cold. There was an awkward silence between them. Usually, he was much smoother about these sorts of things.

Ash wrapped her arms around herself. “Well, uh, thank you for dinner. It was fun.” She hooked a thumb at the sidewalk. “I should head back to the hotel.”

“Come home with me.” He blurted the words out—no seduction, no bullshit, just honest to God need.

She looked away. “We shouldn’t.”

“So that’s it? We find Coyote or…we don’t…and then go our separate ways?”

Ash squeezed his arm. “Steele, we’re gonna find him. And as for separate ways, that was always the plan.”

Steele hooked a finger in her jacket pocket and towed her closer. “It doesn’t have to be. Your job ain’t good for you. You don’t gotta home or friends. All you’ve got is the work.” His own life left felt empty at times, but at least he had the brotherhood.

“Believe me, I know.”

“Then why go back to it? You could…” Steele had to force the words out. “You could stay here.”

Ash looked up sharply.

“With me.”

“Steele…”

“Come on, Dusty. No matter how many drug kingpins you catch, it won’t bring Abe back.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Steele pulled her into his embrace, but she pressed her arms between them, pushing at his chest—not letting him in. “This job is killin’ you.”

Her eyes were shiny. While she didn’t agree with the comment, she didn’t try to convince him otherwise either. “And what would I do here? Become a biker?”

Steele grinned. “No chicks in the club. But there’s plenty of bounty hunter work in Texas. I work it in as a side hustle sometimes. You’d be damn good at it too. And you could live here in Hell, put down some roots, get to know people. Maybe make some friends.”

“Like Ace.”

“No, not like Ace.
Fuck
Ace. You could make female friends…with lady parts.”

“I think Daisy’s off the list. She hates my ass.” Ash chuckled, but it was raspy and hurting. “And what about you and me?”

Steele swallowed the lump in his throat. He’d been thinking about this the whole day. “I shoulda done this years ago, and God knows I don’t know how to be in a relationship with a woman, but I wanna try. We could give it a shot.”

Ash gaped at him.

They stood still for moment, holding on to one another, but then she pushed him away. “No, I’m not gonna do this to myself.” She shook her head.

“Why not?”

“Because…men leave. They die, they disappoint. Why would I set myself up for more hurt?”

“It doesn’t have to be like that.”

She huffed a breath. “Of course it does.”

“You don’t trust me.” He deserved her wariness. Steele was the one who’d shaken her faith in men, after all.

Ash placed her hands on her hips. “Any particular reason I
should
give you the benefit of the doubt?”

Steele couldn’t think of one, but he still wanted a second chance.

“We bring out the worst in each other, Steele. And we’ve got too much bad blood.  Face it, we don’t have a shot in hell.”

Steele didn’t believe it for a second. “So…what? Love is supposed to be perfect?”

“I guess. Not like I’ve ever been in love.”

Every time he’d thought about her over the years, it’d ripped him up inside. He wasn’t about to let her go without a fight. “You were in love with me until I fucked it up. Love isn’t perfect. It’s painful, burning need. I want you so bad I can’t think about anything or anyone else.”

“That’s lust.”

“It’s more. I was more scared of you dyin’ than you were. And I’m willin’ to take a chance on us. Are you?”

Shaking her head, Ash backed up the street.

 
Ah, hell, I’m losing her. Too much, too fast.

She stepped further away.

 “Why not?”

She planted her legs wide, and her hands fisted at her sides. “I told you. Because you put yourself first—with me, my brother, and with your friend, Coyote. You always have, and you
always
will.”

And there it was.

Steele couldn’t deny it. He had a terrible track record. But he wasn’t too proud to settle for whatever she was willing to share of herself.

If he could only have her body, then so be it. “Then come with me. I want you in my bed tonight. If that’s all there is between us…if that’s all I get.”

“No.” She stepped further away.

He followed her, trying to keep her from slipping through his fingers again. “Spend the night with me. I wanna hold you and touch you.”

Ash pressed a hand to her mouth.

“I need to make love to you in a bed. I wanna wake up beside you.” Steele could read the agony and indecision on her face.  

She stood there, utterly speechless.

“Come on, Ash.” She at least had to give him this much. If he got her into his bed, maybe he could persuade her to give him everything.

They gazed at one another, tears glittering but unshed in their eyes.

“We’re makin’ it worse. It’ll only hurt more when we’re done.”

Steele scooped her up into his arms and took her to his bike before she could change her mind.

“Then I say bring on the pain.”

Chapter Seventeen

Ash wasn’t sure how they’d gotten back to Steele’s place.

Everything happened in a big blur. She hadn’t felt the wind in her hair or the heat from the motorcycle. Had no memory of the ride whatsoever.

But somehow, they were in Steele’s bedroom, hands ripping at clothing, mouths merged together. They tumbled down onto the bed. The room was dark, thick with shadows, and a wail broke the silence. Ash realized it’d come from her. Steele was on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

So good, so right.

This is what she needed, an orgasm. Oblivion.

He slid his hands down her body, followed by his mouth—kissing her neck, her breasts. Then her lips. Sinking fingers into his hair, she tugged.

Every time Ash touched him, she lit up, flared to life. Burned. They never went slow and gentle. Maybe sweet and romantic just wasn’t them.

She ached all over like a fever wracked her body. No, they hurt, they
ached
for one another. And every touch made it worse—cranked up the heat until she was roasting. Reaching between their bodies, she wrapped her hand around his thick cock. She stroked him roughly, tugging, urging him on.

“Fuck me.” Spreading her legs wide, she seized his hips, goading him. Ash needed Steele to enter her.