Shuttered Affections (Cornerstone #1) (15 page)

“I would bet my left leg he was about to say he had to
warn Coda that I was his.”

I could smell the odor of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I
pretended to be asleep as I tried to relax the grip I had on my eyelids.

Moments later, the bed dipped beside me. A strong arm snaked
around me and pulled me toward a thin, male form.

My body tensed until my muscles screamed at me. I let out a
startled gasp, terror laced in every ounce of my breath.

“It’s just Pete, sweetheart. I wanted to check on you and
let you know I will never let anyone hurt you. We’re a family at H
²
0,
a strong family, and I will do anything to make sure you’re okay,” Pete
whispered into my ear.

His words started the waterworks all over again. A silent
tear dripped down across the brim of my nose.

“Shhh. Don’t cry, Jules. Please don’t cry.” He squeezed me
tighter as he whispered soothing words into my hair.

I finally turned to face him and, in the dim light, I could
see his sincere concern.

“Thank you, Pete. You all mean the world to me and I
couldn’t ask for a better family.” I muttered my words as I sucked up my tears,
determined to stop blubbering.

I reached up and hugged his neck as he placed a kiss on my
forehead.

“Well, Sid made me feel very comfortable on the couch. Of
course, I could stay in here if it will make you feel… better.” He meant the
word
safer
—I could see it
lingering on his lips.

“That’s sweet of you, Pete, but I’m okay. I will be anyway. I’m
just looking forward to this day being over.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a
quick squeeze.

Pete looked at me for a long, lingering moment, as if he had
more to say. His face hovered over mine, his left arm propped beside my head,
his right hand smoothing back an errant strand of hair.

Unexpectedly, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if things
suddenly shifted and I could finally see what was causing my unease. He felt
more for me than just simple friendship.

I closed my eyes briefly and let out a labored breath. The
last thing I needed was to hurt my friend’s feelings. I knew he was only acting
this way because he felt sorry for me.

Pete placed a gentle kiss on the puffy center of my cheek,
just below my eye, likely tasting the salt from my tear-stained face.

After placing a few more gentle pecks on my cheeks and
forehead, he hugged me one last time and eased himself off the bed. I sat up
and braced myself with my hands as he began to walk out of my room.

“Okay, Jules. Feel free to holler if you need anything. I’ll
be just outside this door. Goodnight, sweetheart.” And with those words, he
shut my bedroom door.

With utter physical and emotional exhaustion taking over my
body, I scrambled back under the covers and sunk into my pillow.

My head throbbed as my alarm went off the next morning. Sid
had mentioned I should skip class today. Since my spring photo project was
almost complete and wasn’t due for another week, I didn’t mind skipping
photography in order to sleep in a little longer.

But I wanted to see him. I craved him. Even though we
weren’t on great terms and he had a hell of a lot of explaining to do, I still
wanted to be next to him and feel safe in his arms.

Since I was up talking with Pete, Dex, and Sid, I didn’t get
to bed until close to three thirty. As tired as I was, you would think I would’ve
fallen asleep right away, especially knowing Pete was standing guard on the
couch in the living room. But, alas, I ended up lying there for at least
another hour before finally letting go of my anxiety and falling asleep.

My dreams were nothing short of terrifying.

Deciding I definitely needed more sleep, I chose to stay
home, at least until Art History.

I picked up my phone and began to text Aiden. I didn’t want
him to think I was skipping because of him.

Late night. Barely managed 3 hrs sleep. Head hurts. Gonna
stay in bed for a few more hours. I don’t want you to think I’m avoiding you.

I didn’t leave any sort of greeting as I pressed the send
button.
 
Pleasantries were for
schmucks.

Moments later, my pillow vibrated.

I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, Angel. You worked hard
last night. Your project is going well, so you can afford to skip today,
although I already miss you terribly.

I smiled and responded right away with something I knew
would haunt me later.

Lots to talk about. I miss you
too. I plan to be there in time for Art History around 11:30, then lunch after.

“Julia!” I heard Pete yell from the living room just as I
pressed the send button.

Worried something was wrong, I immediately sprang out of my
bed and ran to him, my head pounding in protest and my feet almost tripping me
up on the way.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” I scrambled as I
approached him while wearing only a t-shirt and panties.

He was standing at the island in the kitchen and didn’t say
anything as he handed me a small piece of ripped paper.

My heart clogged into my throat and my hands became a clammy
mess. I grabbed the paper from his hand and stared at it…

So, I scare you? I like it when
you’re afraid. You know it excites me when you fight.

The paper slipped from my shaky fingers and I began to
spiral out of control. Everything went dark and I could hear Pete curse several
obscenities as his protective arms went around me.

I woke up minutes later to water splashing my face. I was on
the couch, tangled in the sheets Pete used the night before. Both Pete and Sid
hovered over me, concerned looks on their faces.

“He was here,” I said in a weak voice.

It wasn’t a question… I knew he was here. He left the note.

Believe it or not, my first thought went to Aiden. Would his
hold make me feel better? Would telling him any of this drama make me feel
better?

As much as it hurt to drag anyone into my circle of terror,
I knew if I wanted anything with Aiden, I needed to tell him. But what was I
hoping for? A relationship with my teacher? At this point, I didn’t see him as
my teacher. In my mind, he was a sexy, mystery of a man who I wanted to get to
know better. And with that realization, I knew I wanted… no,
needed
, to get to know him better.

I brought my hands up to my head and gripped both sides as
if I needed a vice grip on my skull to keep it from splitting in two.

God, I’m a mess!

At this point, both Sid and Pete were still standing over
me, talking to each other as if they were formulating a plan.

“Guys?” I said in a weak voice.

They both just looked at me, startled about something.

“I need to take something. I woke up with a headache and I
don’t feel good. I’ve already told Aiden I’m not going to be in class. I just…”
I didn’t finish as I began to sit up.

“Okay, not to scare you, Jules, but we’re calling the
police. They need to investigate this nut job. So, go take something for your
headache and lay back down. They may want to talk to you when they get here,
but since it won’t be an emergency, that’ll likely take them a while.” I just
let Sid drone on while nodding in agreement.

There was likely nothing I could do to change her mind and I
wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to. Although I knew one thing, I didn’t want to
relive the nightmares that consumed my sleep.

After taking some Tylenol and water, I padded back to my
bedroom and plopped on my bed. I felt completely defeated.

After lying there, praying for the sweet release of sleep to
overtake me, I decided it was useless.

I thumbed through my phone and began reading the text messages
I missed from Aiden.

Maybe we could do lunch together and talk then? I really
enjoyed yesterday’s lunch date and wouldn’t mind doing that every day for the
rest of our lives.

I’m guessing you have fallen back asleep and I do hope you
feel better soon. Text me when you get to campus and I’ll let you know if I’m
available.

Sweet dreams, Angel.

The rest of our lives? That was a bit of a bold statement to
make. Maybe he didn’t mean it the way I took it though. Women did tend to over-think
everything.

I braved a message to him, knowing class wouldn’t be
starting for another hour.

I might not make it at all. I don’t know. Things are so
messed up. It’s the kinda shit I can’t even talk about at school, lunchtime or
not. I’m wide awake and can’t sleep, even though my head is pounding and my
body aches with exhaustion. I know you’re probably starting class soon, so I
will leave you be.

The message didn’t come out the way I had planned. But, I
felt my body slowly drifting as I stared at my phone.

Just as I began to slink further into dreamland, my phone
rang with
Highway Robber
flashing on
the screen. A second wind caught my sails and my heart leapt from my chest.

God, I craved to hear his voice.

Pressing the green button, I answered, “Aiden!”

“Julia. What the hell is wrong? You’ve got me tied in knots
with worry over here. Are you okay?” he asked. The concern was evident in his
voice.

“Aiden, I’m so sorry. The last thing you need to worry about
is a mess like me. This week has been hell. Everyone around me is trying to
make me feel better, and all I want is you. Yet, I feel so wrong for wanting
you. You barely know me. I know it’s not your job to comfort me, but it feels
like your arms are the only thing that will make me feel better right now.”

My words spilled out of me like an acidic waterfall, likely
to corrode the little bit of attraction he currently had for me. I cringed at
the thought of him turning me away.

I heard a dramatic sigh through the phone and dread overtook
me as I realized I had pushed him too far. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never
wanted anything to do with me after this emotional breakdown.

I prided myself on being so strong. But life was determined
to beat down even my strongest defenses this week.

“I’m sorry…” I began to apologize, but he cut me off.

“Julia, don’t be sorry. I’m just sorry I’m not there to help
you. I wish I knew what you were going through so I could fix it.”

His words touched me deeply. New tears, tears I didn’t
realize I had left in me, began to spill out, and I sniffed.

“Shit. Angel, don’t cry, please. I’ll come over as soon as I
can. I promise. Since class is not due to start for another forty-five minutes,
I will just stay on the phone with you until you fall back asleep. You’re
tired, I can tell.”

A binging sound came through the phone, as if it sounded
like he was getting into his car.

“Are you on your way to school now?” I asked.

“Yes, although I wish I was on my way to see you. I don’t
think they’ll be able to find a substitute this soon before class though.”

“Oh, no. You must go to class. Don’t jeopardize your job
because of me. Please,” I begged.

“Julia, don’t you get it? I would give up anything for you,”
he said, with a sigh in his voice.

“As much as I love to hear you feel so deeply for me, I
don’t want to be a burden. What I’ve wanted more than anything in life is for
equality. Someone to feel for me the way I feel for them. I have that with Sid,
thank God for her. My parents have practically been nonexistent in my adult
life. I don’t want someone to have to sacrifice for me…” I trailed off, not
exactly sure why I was babbling like an idiot.

“Angel, you have no idea…” he sounded exasperated. “You have
to realize, I don’t feel any obligation to sacrifice for you. It’s so much more
than that. It’s as if… as if I
want
to show you how I feel. It’s more for selfish reasons than anything else. I
want to be there for you, not only to make you feel better, but to make myself
feel better, too. It would feel so wonderful if I were able to hold you right
now,” he finally added.

It made perfect sense.

“Thank you, Aiden. You don’t know how much better that makes
me feel,” I said honestly.

“Good. I’m glad. Now, Julia. Would you like me to distract
you? I’m sure I can easily make your thoughts wander to something much more pleasurable,”
he chimed with desire oozing from his voice.

“Mmm… that sounds like an excellent idea,” I admitted. He
was definitely good at distraction.

“Last time we spoke like this, I let you tell me what you
wanted. Now, it’s my turn,” he said in a low, sultry voice. “Tell me, Julia. What
are you wearing?”

“Ahh. I’m wearing a small, white t-shirt and white, cotton
panties.”

A grunt came through the phone just as he said, “Damn. Maybe
doing this before class isn’t such a good idea.”

His admission made me giggle as my bravery increased. “Oh,
no, Mr. Stone. You can’t stop now,” I said with a grin, finally starting to
feel the effects of the headache meds I took.

“Tell me something, Angel mine. Can you see your nipples
through your shirt? Are they hard for me?”

“Yes, Aiden. Yes, I can see the darker color through the
thin fabric… and yes, they’re very hard now that you’ve been talking to me in
your fuck-me tone,” I said. Pride swelled in me as I spoke.

I had no idea I could be sexy over the phone. He brought so
many new things out in me and I loved it.

“Fuck, Julia. Okay…” he paused and took a few deep breaths. “Will
you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” I said with sincerity.

“Touch them. Pretend it’s my fingers, my lips, and touch
your nipples through your shirt.”

“Oh, God. I’d give anything for it to be you touching me
instead,” I breathed.

“Me too, Angel. More than anything.”

“Aiden?”

“Yes, love?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a twin?” The question had
been nagging me since meeting Coda last night and popped out of my mouth
uninvited.