Silent Kingdom (18 page)

I wish I did not have to leave you. I’m sorry I can’t give you more answers or even promise that I will be able to return. I miss you already.

Please give the second note to Avrik.

Elena

I sighed, my heart too heavy for tears. My note to Avrik said much of the same, thanking him for being a true friend, and, as gently as possible, explaining the agreement his father had made with the king. I could only hope all of my loved ones would forgive me. Folding my note once more, I laid it back down and prayed I would be miles away before Lyanna or Rev discovered it in my bedroom.

I eased myself out of bed and lifted my pack off the chair resting by the window. It was heavier than usual as I lifted it and checked my stock one last time: a small supply of food, extra clothes for warmth, and a carefully bundled tent that Rev kept for travel and almost never used. I opened the drawer to my nightstand and pulled out the sheathed dagger Avrik had given to me for my fifteenth birthday. Satisfied, I dressed in some of my warmest clothes, shoving the dagger into my right boot, and stepped out of my bedroom, pack in hand, to pull on my cloak, scarf, and mittens.

Lyanna was seated by the fire, sewing a patch in a pair of Rev’s trousers. She glanced up when I entered the living room, her face somewhat pale. “Please come straight home tonight.”

I offered her a small smile, inwardly hating myself for the deception. She would know soon enough.

As I pulled on the mittens she had so carefully knit for me, I set my jaw and told myself I had cried my last tears. Once I reached the forest, I would need all of my focus and strength to keep myself alive.

“Have a good day, dear,” Lyanna called as I stepped out of the house.

I raced through the snow, around the house, and into the shed, where I had carefully rested my bow and quiver the day before. Drawing a deep breath, I slung the quiver over my shoulder, grasped the bow in my hand, and plowed through the drifts toward the forest. I all but ran, fearing Lyanna would step into my room and see the note or somehow suspect something was wrong, fearing that Kyrin would pursue me, fearing that though I’d left earlier than usual, Avrik would meet me before I could disappear into the forest.

The day was still, with nothing but my trudging feet breaking the silence. High overhead the wind chased clouds across the sky and welcome sunlight poured to the earth, bathing it in a white, cheerful glow, even if it was too distant to provide warmth. I drew my hood closer around my face and pulled my scarf up higher over my mouth. The sweeping hills lay pure white before me, stretching almost entirely unbroken by footprints except for a trail heading toward Kyrin’s home.

My heart pounded at the thought of encountering Kyrin again. I angled myself closer to the woods and prayed I would not encounter him a second time in the forest.

But I was too late to escape unnoticed. A form crested the slope ahead: Avrik was approaching, intersecting my path. I circled wide in a hopeless attempt to push past him, though I knew he had seen me.

“Elena!” Avrik broke into a run. “Wait!”

Cringing, I stopped and waited. What would he say?

He shook his head, glancing at my bow and quiver. “Where are you going? Why didn’t you wait for me?”

There is no gentle way to say,
Your father is a murderer
. There is also no way to ease someone toward the fact that a mute friend can actually speak. I swallowed. This time, the words came out easier than they had when I’d first spoken to his father.

“I…” I swallowed, inhaling deeply. “I am…I am not going to school today.”

In all the years I had known him, Avrik had rarely been left speechless. This, however, was one of those times. He gaped at me. “What…? How…?”

Gesturing for him to keep walking with me, I glanced over my shoulder toward home. I proceeded and Avrik followed, still dumbstruck. I clutched my bow still tighter in my hand, steeling myself for the inevitable protests and confusion. “I’m going home,” I offered by way of explanation.

“Home? What home?” Here came the questions. “Who…who
are
you? How are you able to speak now, after all these years? Or could you speak all this time? Where did you come from? How did you get here? Why didn’t you say…anything?” His tone was angry, as if I had betrayed him. In a way, as I’d prepared to leave him behind with hardly a goodbye, without any answers, I supposed I had. Even if it had all been to keep him safe.

I cringed. “I
couldn’t
speak. At least, I did not think I could. It’s a long story…”

As we approached the woods, I tried to explain everything as quickly as possible, all except my encounter with his father before the sedwa’s attack. I could not tell him that—yet.

“I am…Princess Halia, daughter of King Zarev,” I began. My voice still sounded raspy and my tongue stumbled over the words. “I am the princess that went missing four years ago.”

Avrik blinked, studying me like he had never seen me before. “Why…what happened?”

I raised my eyebrows at him.
I’m still your friend
, I thought, before catching myself and remembering I could speak. “I’m hardly a princess now. My father would not claim me as his own. In fact, he sentenced me to death for treason.”

I explained what had happened the night of my father’s coronation, how visions, a strange gift giving me knowledge of the truth, had come to me though I’d never had any before. Then I told him how my father had condemned me and the Royal Guard had thrown me into the sea to drown, how I had been rescued and had fled the city and come to Evren, unable to speak. At last, I described the sedwa in the forest the night I’d tried to save him and my conversation with the man in the woods.

At the edge of the forest, I paused, breathless.

“How do you know that he is trustworthy? Where is he now?” Avrik studied me skeptically.

I hesitated. Despite the people of Evren’s faith, they spoke of meetings with the Life-Giver as a thing of the past, something lost to Misrothians now. “He was the Giver of Life, Avrik.”

Avrik stared and I let my words drift away. Of course he wouldn’t believe me. I sounded mad, even to myself.

“And you are returning to Misroth City, even though if
anyone
recognizes you, you will be dead.” He shook his head. “Do you really think, if so many people have believed the king’s lies for this long, they will believe you now? And even if they do, how do you expect to stop the king before he kills you?” The questions would not stop, concern shining in his eyes and the taut lines of his mouth. “Why join a band of rebels now? Why leave Evren when it’s the safest place you can be? Leaving means death. Elena, you
cannot
go.” He was desperate, all but pleading.

Avoiding his gaze, I shook my head. I didn’t need to be reminded that I was leaving safety behind, so I ignored his questions and plunged into the woods. His footsteps followed me again.

“Elena!”

I spun around to face him. “My people—they need me. My
cousin
needs me. He’s almost of age, and if he ever returns from battle, I know my father will never let him take the throne. He’s in danger.” My voice broke. “I left him behind. I left my people behind…”

Avrik shook his head. “You would have died. There was nothing you could have done. You were
thirteen
, Elena.”

I stood taller and set my jaw. “I’m not thirteen anymore.”

Avrik ran a hand through his hair. “If you won’t change your mind, I’m coming with you.”

If Avrik came with me, he would be facing the dangers of the forest again, and the threats that waited for me and anyone associated with the rebels or me in Misroth City. I shook my head before remembering my voice. “No. I can’t let you risk your life.”

Avrik raised an eyebrow. “You risked your life to try to save me when the sedwa attacked. Would you have listened to me if I’d had the chance to tell you not to?”

“No, but this is different. This is my burden, Avrik, and…”

“And you are my friend. You can’t stop me from coming with you.”

Frustrated, I opened my mouth to speak, but my protests faded.
No, it is better this way. Then there’s no way anyone can accuse him of working with his father. He won’t have to be there when the townspeople throw him into prison. And maybe I can find the words to tell him…so that he can hear it from a friend. Not from a letter.

I frowned, but I was relieved to have his company, despite my concerns for his safety. “If anything happens to you, I’ll never forgive myself,” I said.

“My choice. How do you think I would have felt if you hadn’t made it back yesterday morning?” His eyes searched mine until I looked away, unsure why I felt uncomfortable and shy suddenly.

“You don’t have any supplies,” I pointed out, still staring at a distant tree.

Avrik smirked, pulling his pack from his shoulders and dropping it to the ground. “You mean my schoolbooks will not be enough?” He patted his quiver and bow. “I think I can manage. Besides, you do not want delays if you don’t want Lyanna and Rev to know, and if I returned home, my father would suspect something. If we leave now, we may not be missed until after school.”

“All right,” I relented with a sigh.

“Let me take the pack,” Avrik said.

Rolling my eyes, I grasped the strap harder. “I can manage—”

“I know,” he interrupted, a smile playing about his lips. “But now that I know I am in the company of a princess, it hardly seems dignified for you to lug this about.” He gently pulled the pack off my back, swinging it over his, and winked at me as we set off through the forest.

Biting my lip to hold back a smile, I looked away and tried to concentrate on the nature of what we were setting out to do. If I could focus, I could keep the blush from staining my cheeks.

Despite the light-hearted tone he had adopted, I could see the uncertainty in Avrik’s eyes, the way he studied me every time his gaze met mine, as if he was not sure how to behave, as if he wasn’t sure he truly knew me.

“Do not treat me differently now. I’m still the same person.”

Avrik cast a sidelong glance at me as he ducked beneath a low-hanging branch. “It’ll…take me some time to adjust.”

~ ~ ~

As night fell, we huddled close to the fire we built and prayed it would not snow any more. I’d let Avrik do most of the talking all day, as usual, but tonight he’d fallen quiet. When we both finished dinner, we set to work putting up the tent and loading our supplies inside. Once we finished, he perched on a rock by the fire and watched the flames gnaw on the wood.

I felt too restless to sit. Now that darkness had fallen on Evren Forest, I imagined I saw forms or glowing eyes wherever I looked. How would I ever sleep while trapped in these woods? My nightmares, old and new, lurked in the shadows.

At last, Avrik spoke, tugging me away from my fears. “Everyone back home is probably spreading more rumors about my father after the attack. Yet here we are, leaving him behind when I could be back there, defending him, telling them all it’s a lie.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I wish I could be with him and with you at the same time.”

I swallowed, saying nothing. What could I say? What kind of friend was I to keep the truth from him? But what kind of friend would I be to reveal it to him?

“I was attacked, and my father found me and rescued me.” Avrik’s eyes met mine. “Before or after you met…the Giver of Life...did you see him out there? Could you be a witness with me to prove his innocence?”

“No.” I shook my head, slowly.

“You didn’t see him at all that night?”

I bit my lip, longing to formulate a lie:
No
. My mouth opened but the words died before I could make a sound.
Of course…I
cannot
lie!
Bursting into bitter laughter, I spoke the words in my frustration, before I could stop myself. “I cannot lie!”

Avrik stared at me, his lips a firm line, his dark eyes inscrutable. He looked so much like his father in that instant that I almost was afraid of him. “Then tell me the truth.”

There was no holding back the words now. There was no way to phrase it gently; the facts leapt out and smacked Avrik headlong, leaving him motionless, speechless.

“The night you were attacked by the sedwa, I chased after you. But I didn’t find you…I found your father. He is hunting sedwa for the king—I saw so in a vision, and he did not deny it. He…he wanted me to die for knowing the truth, Avrik. He bound me to a tree and left me for the sedwa. That is when the Life-Giver saved me. I…I’m sorry.”

Clenching his fists, Avrik gazed down at his feet. From what I could see of his face in the firelight, his brow was furrowed and every other muscle in his face was taut. I waited for him to speak, but he said nothing. He was so silent it was like we had reversed roles and he was now mute. I grimaced, wishing my words back and knowing there was no way I could unsay them.

He hates me. He doesn’t believe me
. The thoughts carved through my being like knives.

“Please…” I murmured. Gingerly, I stepped toward him and reached out, longing to touch him on the shoulder, to hold him and tell him it would be all right.

But that would be a lie I could not speak: it wasn’t all right. For years, his father had been all he’d had, and I had just aligned myself with the townspeople who had made Avrik and Kyrin feel isolated. Even if he believed the truth of my words, I understood why Avrik could not look me in the eye.

“Don’t talk to me,” he muttered, turning away. “I liked it better when you were mute. When you were not royalty.”

Choking back my pleas, I blinked when I found my eyes were burning. I climbed into the tent and burrowed deep into the blankets. Keeping the dagger strapped to my belt, I lay my bow and quiver nearby.

Sleep was all but impossible. I spent most of the night listening, fearing what might be lurking in the woods, agonizing over what I had told Avrik. I listened to him pacing outside as the hours dragged on and I tossed and turned. Anxious thoughts flitted through my brain so persistently I found no rest, even in the little sleep I had.

Avrik had been my first true friend since I had stumbled into Evren—could he forget all of that now?