Silent Scream (19 page)

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Morning light spilled into the bedroom where Maddie found herself, and the light appeared extra bright, convincing her more snow had fallen.  She peered around the room, staring at the burgundy bedspread, an antique roll-top desk, and lots of framed pictures on the wall. 

Where was she and why?

Sitting up, she brushed the sleep from her eyes and focused her gaze on the pictures.  A familiar dark-hair guy appeared in most beside another, even taller man and a pretty teenager with auburn hair.  The two guys Maddie seemed to recognize.  The girl’s picture, however, didn’t ring a bell.  Who were they?

Gabriel.  And Sam.  She drew in a deep breath as a shudder jarred her body.  She remembered the cop trying to kill her at Yolanda’s and Gabriel stepping in at the last moment.  She was at Gabriel’s house.  The question was, where were Yolanda and Gabriel?  And how had she gotten to this bed?

Thrusting the covers from atop her, Maddie swung both legs over the side of the bed and slowly walked outside down the hall until she’d reached the kitchen, where she heard the familiar sound of bacon frying.  She peeked inside the doorway and spotted Gabriel standing next to the stove.  He wore a dark blue sweatshirt and jeans.  A slow smile spread across his face as he spotted her.

“Well, well, look at what the cat dragged out of bed.”  He pointed at the pan on the stove.  “I hope you’re hungry and that you like scrambled eggs and bacon.  There’s no way I can eat all this.”

As if trying to measure how empty her tummy was, Maddie’s hand drifted to her mid-section, and she half smiled, wondering how she would be able to stomach eggs this early.  “What time is it?”

His gaze flashed to the clock on the range.  “Almost eleven.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”  Maddie’s steps faltered, and she forced her gaze toward the clock.  Sure enough, it was 10:58.  “I can’t believe I slept that long.”

Gabriel turned back toward the stove and prodded the bacon, flipping one or two of the strips.  “Maybe all that sleepwalking tired you out.”

“What?”  Maddie brought her hand to her mouth in surprise.  “I don’t sleepwalk.”

Gabriel glanced at her over his shoulder, his dark eyes gleaming mischievously.  “Oh, really?  You were trying to go to the store for shampoo and toothpaste at midnight.”

The color drained from her face, and she half-stumbled while walking to the table.  “I...I haven’t done that in years, since I was in junior high and high school.”

“Did you do it often then?”

“No.”  Maddie leaned both elbows on the table and rested her face in them.  “Not really.  Usually just the night before I had a huge exam or a big date.  I guess it was a symptom of  anxiety.”

Gabriel smiled, speared another piece of bacon with his fork, and set it on the pile.  “Are your shopping lists always so boring?”

“Not quite.”

He turned toward her and folded his arms across his midsection.  “Oh, goody.  This I just have to hear.”

Leaning back in her chair, Maddie shook her head.  “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.  The night before my senior prom, I told my mother I was going shopping to buy birth control pills.”

Gabriel managed to stifle his laughter by clearing his throat.  “And how did that work?”

“Let’s just say I didn’t stay unconscious much longer, and it took lots of explaining to convince her that the reason I wanted the pill was because my friends had said it helped clear up their complexions.”

Gabriel stared at her with a stony expression on his face for about a minute before he finally nodded and said, “Yeah, sure.  I’d believe that.”  Then he went back to checking the bacon.

Maddie felt a flush color her cheeks.  “It was true, actually.  I had a blind date for the prom.”

“Was it a good blind date?”

Maddie pushed her hair behind her ears.  “Are they ever?  Let’s just say I wasn’t blind enough, unfortunately, and he thought he was more than man enough to rule the world.”

“A real testosterone monkey, eh?”  Gabriel scooped the last of the bacon from the pan and dumped the eggs into the pan.

“You could say that.”  She leaned against the back of the chair and closed her eyes.  “I guess I have a way of finding the scum of the earth, don’t I?”

He peered at her, staring at the flash of her white throat as she leaned against her chair.  Dark hair spilled over the chair back.  Long, slender fingers brushed across her face and eyes.  “It’s not that you attract them, Maddie.  There’s just a whole lot of them out there to find.  The odds are pretty well stacked against you in that regard.”

Maddie turned to face him.  “I thought you guys stuck together.”

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself not to spit out a response he knew she didn’t deserve, considering what she’d been through, but hell, he didn’t deserve that comment, either.  “This isn’t defending my sex, Maddie.  Both genders have their share of lowlifes.  Still, there are those of us who do believe in being decent.  Besides, you don’t fit the typical female mold any more than I fit the male stereotype.  In my book, that’s a good thing.”

Maddie frowned and inhaled nervously.  “I didn’t mean to make you angry.  This whole thing has me out of sorts.”

“Perhaps food will help.”  Turning off the burner, he scooped some egg onto a plate and then set a couple of pieces of bacon beside the eggs.  Gabriel carried the plate to the table and set it in front of Maddie.  As he started back to the counter, Maddie grabbed his hand.

“I really didn’t mean anything by that.”  Her gaze sought out his and held it fast, penetrating his anger with plaintive blue eyes.  “I am grateful for all you’ve done, and the last thing I meant to do was make you feel as though I were insulting you.”

“Why are you thanking me?”  Gabriel squeezed her hand.  “I didn’t do anything so extraordinary, just something any decent person would have done.   Maybe some can watch other human beings suffer.  I can’t.”  He slowly released her hand and walked to the silverware drawer.  He returned with a fork.  “Would you like some juice to go with that?” he asked.

“Yes, please.”

As he poured her the juice, he half-watched her from the corner of his eye, liking the way her dark hair slipped across her face so her hands would reach up and pull it back.  Although he expected her to be eating, instead she fixed her gaze on him, studying him, and only returned her attention to the food when he handed her the juice. 

“Thanks,” she half-whispered and took it.  He walked back to the stove and fixed another plate for Yolanda before he put his own breakfast together.

Sitting across from her, he watched her take a small bite before asking, “Is the food all right?”

“It’s good,” she replied. 

“Tell that to my brother.  I need all the brownie points I can get.”  Gabriel took a bite and shifted in his chair.

“So what happens now?” Maddie finally asked, resting the fork on the side of her plate as she seemed to study her eggs and bacon.  “What do I do?”

“You go on with your life without having to look back.”

Maddie could feel the tears coming by the way the back of her throat burned, and she started rocking slowly back and forth.  “What if I don’t know how to do that?” she finally whispered in a broken voice.

Gabriel stared at her ashen face, and his shoulder muscles tightened upon hearing the painful timbre of her voice as tears pooled in her eyes.  “You have to go back to healing people, Maddie, and maybe in healing others you’ll be able to heal yourself.”

“That doesn’t seem likely.”  She draped her good arm across her stomach.

“Doesn’t it?” he countered softly, willing her to meet his gaze.  “Maddie, why do you think I became a firefighter? Do you think it was because I was arrogant and cocky and thought I couldn’t die?  Do you think was because I like standing in the middle of a blazing building that is going to come down at any moment?”  As he waited for her to respond, he touched her hand.  “Is that what you believe?”

“No,” she whispered, meeting his gaze as a trail of tears spilled down one cheek and then the other.

“No,” he agreed.  “I’m not stupid enough to believe I can’t die, but for a while after my sister’s death, I thought I wanted to.  A few of the guys have kept their eyes on me just to make sure I keep a level head when things get crazy.  I never  believed I could heal myself, so the only other option was maybe to seek my own destruction.  Then you came along.”  He watched the line of her mouth break into an expression of awe, and her eyebrows arched in surprise.  He stood and moved around the table to sit in the chair next to her.  “That’s right, Maddie.  This whole time, we both thought this was just about saving you, but it wasn’t.  It was about saving me as well.  And some day you’re going to be standing in the ER thinking you can’t stand another day of this pain that won’t go away, and you’re going to find someone in front of you who needs your help–someone just enough like you so  you realize that’s your salvation.”   Without thinking about it, he reached up and gently brushed his finger across one streak of tears and then the other as she collapsed into sobs.  Collecting her in his arms, he slowly rocked back and forth while brushing his hand up and down her back, whispering words of reassurance as he held her.

As the emotion finally left her, she slowly withdrew from his embrace.  “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s not a crime to fall apart.”  He wiped the tears from her face.  “We all do it, sooner or later.”

The telephone rang.  “Excuse me,” Gabriel said and  went to answer it. 

“Hello?”

“Morning, brother.  Yolanda’s house is all clear, and I need you to meet me at the police station to give a statement.”

Gabriel raked his fingers through his hair.  “Is all hell breaking loose down there?”

“Nah, it’s pretty open and closed, like we hoped it would be.  Seems both cops were dirty in more than one way, and it was only a matter of time before IA got hold of them.”

“Surprise, surprise.”  Gabriel peered back at Maddie and then at the doorway, where Yolanda had suddenly appeared.  “We’re having breakfast, but as soon as we’re finished, I’ll be there.  Give me thirty minutes.”

“Sounds good.”

Gabriel hung up the phone.  Turning, he found both Maddie and Yolanda staring at him anxiously.

“Is there something wrong?” Yolanda asked, stepping into the room to stand behind Maddie’s chair.

Shaking his head, he said, “Everything is fine.  Sam just needs me down at the station to tie up a few of the loose ends.  Nothing big or unexpected.”

“Is he still at my house?”  The nurse folded her arms across her chest and shivered from a chill buried deep inside.

“No.”  Gabriel pushed up the sleeves of his black sweatshirt.  “Although I didn’t ask him, I’m pretty sure it’s okay for you to go home whenever you’re ready.  By now, I’m sure the investigating team has wrapped up their stuff and gone back to the station.”  Although he thought about warning her that certain forms of evidence, such as blood staining the bedroom carpet, wouldn’t have disappeared, he felt like she had probably already realized that.  “It’s up to you.”  He turned back toward Maddie.  “I’m quite sure your home is also safe now.”  She stared at him as a shudder ran through her.  “I’m not trying to push you.  If you aren’t ready to go, you can always stay.”

“Not that it’s going to get any easier,” Maddie replied, forcing a harsh edge to her tone.  “We both know that.  And if I have to do it, I’d rather get it over with today rather than just postponing it.”

The color drained from Yolanda’s cheeks.  “Maddie, you really don’t want to see your home like it is.  Let me clean it up a bit for you.”

“No.”  Maddie shook her head.  “I don’t want everyone tiptoeing around me just because of all this.  I’ll do it myself.”

Gabriel cringed inside, instantly regretting the heated anger in Maddie’s voice, realizing it hid the pain she didn’t want to feel.  He also managed to force a nod of understanding, wondering if perhaps in some small way, the anger might protect her from the pain emotions she wasn’t ready to deal with.   At least for now.  “All right.  I can take the two of you home once I get back from the station.”  He nodded at Yolanda.  “Meanwhile, enjoy your breakfast.”

Chapter Eighteen

Stillness blossomed just outside the house that until a few weeks ago Maddie had thought of as home.  Had it really only been a few weeks?  Now, staring at the beautifully landscaped , ranch-style house, she forced herself to try to remember the solace it had once brought her.  Stepping away from Gabriel’s truck, she inched up the walkway, wishing she hadn’t insisted Yolanda be dropped off first.  It didn’t matter that Maddie wanted to be a stronger person than she felt.  Weakness seemed to rule her these days.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Gabriel also step toward the front walk, pulling the collar of his coat even more snugly against his neck.  A glaring yellow crime scene tape cordoned off the door, and Maddie abruptly stopped.  Although she reached out to it, her fingers halted as though a glass wall had kept her from touching it. Maddie felt her heart speed up.

“Here, let me get rid of that,” Gabriel said, yanking the tape loose.  “That’s better,” he said, balling it into a huge yellow wad that he forced into his jacket pocket.  Although he expected her to step forward, Maddie stood still.  Her lips parted slightly, and each breath came in a funnel of steam that rose to the ashen heavens.  The cold colored her cheeks and mouth a deep pink, and she ran her tongue across her lips to moisten them. 

“You all right?” he asked and gently laid his hand on her shoulder.

At his touch, she jumped.  “I’m fine.” 

Gabriel flushed and lowered his hand.  “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Without answering, she limped toward the broken screen door.  Beyond it, she could see the front door slightly ajar as well, its lock broken.  So much for needing keys.

Gabriel, too, eyed the damaged door and stepped in front of Maddie.  “Let me go first.”

At first, she opened her mouth to argue but quickly snapped it shut as she remembered those boys who had done this.  She could still see him in the doorway.  “Why?  Do you think someone is in there?”