Silver Dew (38 page)

Sebastian half-smiled. “Engaged, sharing a room with my ex-wife who’s had her memory erased, and hunted by powerful, ancient beings who will probably kill us once they find us,” he listed.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” There was another long pause before he eventually pulled away, rolling onto his back to stare at the underside of the bunk above us. “I love you, Gracelynn, I don’t think I could ever, ever stop but… I don’t think you can understand how much your lack of faith has hurt me. I want to trust you, I want things to be like they were but…”

Tears prickled at my eyes and my throat grew tight. But I still wanted to hear the truth.

“But it can’t be the same – it’s not,” I finished for him.

His silence was agreement enough. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the bunk above us too, listening to the sound of Mags’ soft snores as my heart teetered on the edge of breaking, yet again.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he confessed. Without looking, he felt around with his hand for mine, linking our fingers together. “I want to be with you, I love you and I want to marry you still, it just may take some time to figure out what our new relationship is going to be like.”

I felt a hot tear trickle down my face. I didn’t attempt to wipe it away.

“I love you too. I’ll earn your forgiveness somehow,” I promised, squeezing his hand.

He pushed himself up on one elbow and leaned over me, meeting my tear-filled eyes with his own steady, dark ones. He hesitated for only the briefest of seconds before he lightly and sweetly pressed his lips against mine.

“You have my forgiveness – you had it instantly. It’s my trust that was questioned.”

It was fair enough for him to say but I thought about how I had doubted him, how he had been with Mags, how many secrets he might still have in his past and how many ways I knew he could hurt me now, and I realized he was going to have to re-earn my trust also.

“Let’s learn to trust in one another again then, and in ourselves.”

He nodded his agreement, then bent his head to gently kiss my cheek where that single tear had fallen.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered against my cheek. “But it was your fault, you know,” he continued in a lighter, teasing tone.

I threw a playful elbow into his ribs and he laughed. The silence slowly stretched out between us again though and a heavy sadness weighed down on my heart. Things weren’t the same, how could they be?

“Good night, sweetheart,” Sebastian whispered, squeezing my hand and then rolling onto his side with his back to me.

I bit my lip, trying to remind myself that at least we were together, at least we were talking and working things out – it could be so much worse. I forced myself to be strong, knowing that no matter how much Sebastian had been joking, I really had brought this all on myself. I swallowed my sadness and pushed aside my pride and rolled towards him, shuffling right up against his back and curling into it, my forehead pushed up between his shoulder blades and my heart praying he wouldn’t reject me.

He immediately reacted to my touch, some of the tension melting from him as I felt his muscles relax and soften. I heard him sigh again but this time it sounded peaceful and relieved. I allowed myself a small smile.

“Good night,” I whispered and closed my eyes, finally feeling like I might be able to find sleep.

I
N THE MORNING,
I awoke in Sebastian’s arms. At some time in the night, he had rolled over and pulled me up against him, holding me tightly and protectively against his chest. I’d barely awoken when he did so but remembered my sleepy relief to find myself enclosed in his solid embrace.

He lay behind me, his arm tightly around my waist and a small smile on my face. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see Mags, lying on the bunk across from us, staring right back at me. She wrinkled up her nose in distaste.

“You two make me sick,” she accused as she sat up and fluffed at her wild, wavy hair. The sound of her loud voice and the squeak of her mattress as she sat up roused Sebastian. Aware of Mags still watching, I tried to hide my disappointment as Sebastian rolled away from me and sat up.

“Disgusting lovebirds,” Mags grumbled as she stood up and stretched. “Were you this bad the whole way here? Is that why I wanted my memories erased, because you two made me so nauseous?” she joked sarcastically.

I sat up and slipped out of bed, eyeing her warily. Even though it was my doing, it still seemed strange for her not to remember anything. I still couldn’t quite get past the feeling that she wasn’t to be trusted.

“Ha-ha,” Sebastian mumbled sleepily as he stood up beside me. “What time is it?”

“Six am,” Mags answered cheerily. She flashed me a wicked grin. “Grace’s snoring has kept me awake since five though.”

I blinked at her in surprise – not because of the snoring jibe but because it was the first time I had ever heard her use my name and not call me Caoilinn.

“What?” she demanded.

Now Mags was staring at me strangely. I shrugged, trying to be casual.

“Nothing. I don’t snore.”

“Of course not. You’re obviously far too perfect.”

“Mags,” Sebastian sighed.

Mags shrugged, flashing him a smile. “Sorry, I’m a bit of a bitch before my morning smoke and coffee. Speaking of which, I’m going to need more cigarettes and coffee.”

Sebastian shook his head and surprisingly, I found myself fighting an amused smile.

“She’s right. We might as well get up and get going – we’ve got a lot to do today. Primarily, avoiding The Others and searching for clues,” I agreed.

“Clues to what?” Mags demanded. She turned her back to us and then abruptly tugged her t-shirt up and over her head.

“Geez, Mags,” Sebastian muttered in annoyance as he turned his back.

She ignored him, keeping her own back turned as she continued to change into a fresh shirt.

“Don’t be such a prude Sebastian. Clues to what?” she repeated.

Again, I wasn’t certain how much we could trust her but it would be a lot easier to just tell her the truth – I wanted to be able to tell her the truth, I realized. I wanted to trust her, a little, so I did.

“Clues of how to stop the Others and take away their magic.”

She spun around, her expression incredulous.

“Wait, you don’t even know what you’re doing?”

“I have an idea.”

“Do you?” She fixed me with a hard stare but I refused to back down, matching her emerald glare with an ice-blue one of my own. “I think you’re playing a dangerous game and it looks like somehow you’ve dragged me into it. It’s safe to turn around now, Sebastian.”

He slowly complied, his expression one of aggravation.

“Let’s go get breakfast, then we can try to figure out where to start.”

“And smokes!” Mags chimed in.

“I already know where to start,” I calmly announced. They both turned to stare at me, Mags skeptical and Sebastian surprised. “The tattoo along your ribs – the hieroglyphics. It’s the only clue left that we haven’t deciphered. It’s got to mean something.”

Sebastian slowly nodded, looking thoughtful.

“There’s also the text that forms the tattoo over my heart…” his hand drifted to his chest as he spoke.

“I know what that means,” I quietly answered. Mags raised an eyebrow, Sebastian looked at me sharply but didn’t say anything. My tone had made it obvious I didn’t want to discuss it just then. “Breakfast?” I reminded him.

“And smokes,” Mags added as we picked up our bags and left our room.

There was a small store downstairs in the hostel that thankfully sold cigarettes. Sebastian also purchased a map of the city, confessing that he hadn’t been to Greece in quite some time and hadn’t seen much locally that was familiar.

It was nice to see Thessaloniki in the daytime and to start to get a real feel for the country. Yesterday was such a blur, I felt like I was just arriving in Greece today.

The city rose up and away from the Mediterranean Ocean, the clean, white-washed buildings crowded in close together in rising rows. The city was exactly how I would have imagined it. The traditional Greek architecture of pillars and arches marked the city streets with a distinctive European flare and blended with a touch of modernity like wi-fi in the cafes and neon signs in windows.

It was early but there were already quite a few people out and about on the streets. I liked a city that woke up with the sun. It was refreshing and invigorating, it gave me hope. Even Mags’ spirits seemed lifted as she happily puffed on a cigarette, striding along just behind us.

We stopped to eat breakfast at a small café not too far from the hostel we had stayed at. It was the perfect time to sit down and discuss our plans and to pore over the map Sebastian had purchased. There wasn’t a lot to say; we really didn’t have a lot to go on and I had the definite feeling that we were grasping at straws.

“There’s a library not too far from here. Should we try that first?” I suggested, taking a sip of water.

“We might as well,” Sebastian agreed.

“Ugh! You want to go to a library? But it’s such a beautiful day and we’re in Greece! Can’t we go to a beach or something?” Mags somehow managed to grumble around the cigarette she was lighting.

“Mags, this concerns you just as much as it does us,” Sebastian reminded her. “We’re not here on vacation – this is serious. We need to focus all our wants on the same things here; we must find a way to stop the Others and keep them from finding us for as long as possible.”

Mags frowned at Sebastian. “Too serious,” she said to him then turned to me. “Too boring,” she labeled me. “What the hell am I doing with you two again?”

I tried to keep my jaw relaxed and stop myself from grinding my teeth in irritation. A smile twitched at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth. I tried to give him a disapproving look but he was careful not to meet my eye.

We decided to walk to the library since it was close to where we’d stopped and Mags insisted that we experience a little more of Greece first-hand. It turned out to be a surprisingly good idea and it was nice to relax just for a little while, to stroll under the hot morning sun and watch the city awaken, to take in all the sights and smells and sounds. It was even nicer when after Sebastian’s hand awkwardly brushed against mine several times, he suddenly linked his fingers through mine. He flexed his fingers, squeezing my hand and rubbing his thumb gently against the base of my own. My heart skipped a beat and for a little while, the tension between us eased and things almost felt normal again although our relationship had never truly been ‘normal’ by any standard definition.

We found the library easily. Thessaloniki was a surprisingly easy city to find our way around in, even though Mags couldn’t remember ever being there anymore and we were largely dependent upon our map.

The library was located in a more modern-looking area of town. It was a fairly large building that was open early on weekdays. The doors were just being unlocked as we arrived, a comforting reassurance that our wants were still influencing events around us. The building was air-conditioned too – another blessing on this hot summer day.

We split up upon entering – I was going to search the computer systems, Mags was going to start searching the shelves and Sebastian was going to talk to the librarians. It was a disappointment when Sebastian let go of my hand and started walking up the stairs to the second floor but I knew I had to focus, I knew we had work to do.

“Wait,” Mags called after him, surprising both of us. He slowly turned and walked back down to where we stood. “I’m going to need to see it.”

“See what?” Sebastian asked.

“Your tattoo.”

“Oh. Yes, I suppose that would help,” he hesitantly agreed. A sudden flare of jealousy caught me off-guard but I quickly swallowed it back down, reminding myself that I wanted to trust Sebastian and that he deserved my trust.

He glanced around before reluctantly lifting up the bottom of his t-shirt, exposing his flat stomach and the four hieroglyphics that were tattooed down the left side of his rib cage. Without hesitation, Mags stepped forward and ran her fingers over the markings. She started to smile a little to herself as she began tracing each symbol with her finger. That was when Sebastian abruptly pulled back and I found myself quietly exhaling. It sounded almost like a hiss.

“Thanks, I think I should remember that,” she commented cheekily, flashing him a devilish grin.

“Uh, right,” he agreed, looking oddly flustered. Mags turned to smile at me, inviting me to join in her joke. “I’ll be upstairs,” Sebastian announced, glancing at me quickly before turning and heading back toward the stairs.

“Yes, let’s get started,” I agreed, attempting to keep my voice light and friendly. I remembered once when I would never have dreamed of doing anything remotely violent and now here I was, struggling not to slap Mags. I knew it was all just bravado even in my thoughts though – Mags was obviously tough and I was fairly certain she wouldn’t hesitate to hit me back and twice as hard. Not that I was ever really considering hitting her, of course.

Mags was still smirking as I walked away, heading towards the row of computers up against the library’s far wall. I tried to focus and concentrate on what I needed to do and not on what had just happened. It was like Mags was just trying to get under my skin. Apparently, even when she couldn’t remember all that had happened in the past, irritating me and flirting with Sebastian were just natural parts of who she was.