Simply Heaven (19 page)

Raven glanced about at the sumptuous furnishings and murmured, "I seem to recall it wasn't very much money."

"Seth wouldn't accept much. The first time I sent a large amount, and he wrote and said he wouldn't stand for it, that it was his job to support his family. He'd accept a little to help out, but he'd not let me take full care of his wife and the baby he loved as his own. After that, I sent a mere pittance of what I longed to give you both. I had no choice."

Raven could easily believe that. Seth had been a proud man.

Neither spoke as Elijah entered, carrying a tray with a silver tea service. There was also a plate of pink frosted cakes, which Raven could not resist sampling as he poured the tea. Ned waited till he had left before confiding, "You know, until now it really didn't matter to me whether I ever got out of this bed again or not. The only real happiness I've known since your mother was the racking horses, and this damned sickness has made me too weak even to enjoy them. So I just stopped caring what happened—till now. But having you here, seeing you, loving you on sight, I can feel in my bones that I'll be able to find the strength somehow to get out of this bed and show Halcyon to you myself. Maybe if you see it through my eyes, you'll change your mind about staying after I'm gone."

Raven felt the need to be honest, even if it hurt him. "I don't think that's going to happen."

"Maybe not, but I'm going to try my best." He smiled at her fondly. "Oh, what a treasure you are! You're the best of both your mother and me, and I'm going to cherish every moment we have together."

He closed his eyes. Raven did not speak, and before long she could tell that he was asleep.

She wondered what she should do now. Someone was going to have to show her where she was supposed to bed down, but for the moment she just wanted to sit and look at him and think about how hard it was going to be to keep on disliking a man who seemed to care so much about her. Maybe he was only trying to make up for everything before he died. There was nothing wrong with that. Some men never cared about the mistakes they had made in their lives; her father did. And despite everything, she knew she was going to have to give him a chance.

There was something else, too, even though she didn't like admitting it. She was going to have more time with Steve. Maybe not much. They wouldn't be together as they had been on the trail, but he'd be around. And that was something. Even though nothing lasting would ever come of it, she'd have her memories... and that was more happiness than she'd ever had before.

* * *

At first, Steve was relieved when he went downstairs and found that Lisbeth and Julius were nowhere around. But, as badly as he wanted to see about the horses, he wasn't about to leave Raven to answer the deluge of questions that was sure to come. And something told him Ned wasn't going to get around to explaining things to them any time soon. So he sat down on the porch and waited, and before long Lisbeth came out.

He started to rise, but she motioned for him to stay where he was and took the rocker beside him. "Who is she?" she asked.

As much as Steve had wanted Ned to be the one to tell it, he knew it couldn't wait any longer. "Maybe you'd better call Julius out here so I can tell you both at the same time."

She did so.

And he told them, in as few words as possible, and as he looked at them while he talked, he had the same feeling as Raven—that they already knew. "You don't seem surprised," he said when he had finished.

Julius had planned how he would react. "Actually, we guessed as much. You see, our mother told us a long time ago that she suspected there had been another woman in Ned's past. So when you went away without saying why, and the servants started talking about how Ned was having nightmares and calling out a strange name, we started wondering what was going on. Now we know. He sent you to find his illegitimate daughter, and you did."

Steve nodded soberly. "That's about the way it is. I hope you won't make things difficult for her while she's here."

Julius exchanged a quick look with Lisbeth before asking, "You mean she's not planning to stay?"

"Only till Ned's gone. She wants no part of this world."

Lisbeth could keep still no longer. "I guess not. She's a half-breed, I can tell. That hair. Her coloring. She's part Indian, for sure."

"That's right. Her mother was a full-blooded Tonkawa."

"Oh, she'd never fit in here," Lisbeth said confidently. "It's best for everybody that she leave."

"Well, Ned has other ideas about that." He stood, anxious to get to the stables. He did not want to talk about it any longer, and he couldn't do anything more for Raven. She was on her own now. "Like I said, I hope you'll be nice to her while she's around. This is all strange to her."

Julius made his eyes go wide. "Why, we wouldn't dream of being anything but cordial to her. After all, if she's Ned's daughter, this is her home too, isn't it?"

Steve nodded and went on his way but was not reassured by Julius's words. There had been something in his tone of voice, and he'd not missed the gleam in Lisbeth's eyes.

He supposed it didn't matter if Raven was determined to leave. But it needled him to realize how much he was beginning to hope she wouldn't.

Chapter 14

Steve leaned against the stall railing, his brow furrowed with concern.

Starfire was definitely off his feed. His ribs were beginning to show, and he was hollow-eyed. Joshua, the only stable hand he trusted to help care for the expensive racking horses, had assured him that he'd given the stallion his oats and hay faithfully, and Steve believed him.

He ran his hand down Starfire's nose, but the horse tossed his head and backed away. "It's okay, boy. I know you miss your master." Ned was too weak to walk out to the stable, but Steve wondered if he might be able to make it to the porch. Starfire could be taken out on the lawn, and Ned could reach over and give him a pat and talk to him. Horses were funny. Most people didn't realize it, but they could grieve to death. Starfire had always been a one-man horse. When Ned died, it wouldn't surprise him if Starfire did too.

Steve had wanted to pay Ned a visit that morning to see how things had gone with Raven but reminded himself his job was done. If Ned needed him, he would let him know, and Steve knew it was best to keep his distance from Raven if he was going to try to stop thinking about her.

"Well, well, the wanderer is back, and he hasn't even taken the time to say a private little hello to the one who missed him the most."

Steve groaned under his breath and did not turn around. "Good morning, Lisbeth."

"I said—" she stepped closer to dance her fingers down his arm—"that you haven't said a private hello."

He stepped away from her. "I didn't see any need. I still don't."

She laughed thinly, pretending not to care because she wasn't about to throw herself at him again. "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. It's Raven I want to talk about anyway. I'm curious to know how you were able to find her."

"It wasn't hard," he lied, not about to go into detail.

"No doubt she was living with her family." She made a face. "Filthy Indians. I'm just glad you didn't bring any of them back with you. That's all we need—Indians swarming all over Halcyon. It's embarrassing enough to have people find out my stepfather's bastard half-breed daughter has suddenly turned up like a ghoul to demand her share of his fortune without turning the lawn into a reservation."

"She didn't 'turn up,' as you put it. Ned sent for her. And it's none of your business, but she didn't want to come. I had to persuade her."

"Well, I don't imagine you had to twist her arm very hard."

"As a matter of fact, I did, but that's not important. So why don't you stop worrying about it and get to know her? The two of you might become friends."

"That will never happen, believe—"

"Good morning."

They turned to see Raven standing in the doorway, framed by the morning sun.

Noticing how they were staring at her, and how a shroud of tension seemed to have fallen the second she spoke, she thought maybe she had interrupted something. "I can come back later. I just wanted to see the horses." She turned to go.

"No, wait." Steve was relieved. She wouldn't have stood there eager as a tail-wagging puppy if she had heard anything Lisbeth had said. "You aren't interrupting a thing. I'll be glad to show you around."

Raven walked on in, a bit hesitantly.

"This is Lisbeth's mare, Belle," he said.

"Oh, she's beautiful!" Raven exclaimed, stepping up on a railing and leaning over. "I remember your telling me she's due to foal. It doesn't look like it will be much longer." She stretched to touch her belly, then frowned. "She doesn't feel quite right, though."

She jumped down, opened the gate, and went inside.

Lisbeth protested. "What do you think you're doing? That's my horse. You've no business in there. My stepfather gave her to me, and she's very special, so watch what you're doing." She knew she sounded petulant and childish but she didn't care.

Raven was too busy examining the mare to pay any mind to Lisbeth. When it came to horses and her love for them, nothing stood in her way. "It may be breech," she said worriedly. "She's lumpy in the wrong places."

"Oh, what do you know?" Lisbeth snapped.

Steve did not intervene. He figured Raven had got herself into this situation, and it wasn't up to him to get her out. Besides, she seemed to know what she was talking about.

"I know about horses," she informed Lisbeth with aplomb. "I know about foaling... giving birth."

"Really?" Lisbeth could not resist a malicious glance at Steve. "Well, maybe you can assist Selena Leroux when she has her baby. She's the daughter of one of the overseers, and her father is furious because she won't tell who's responsible for her disgraceful condition, but everyone has their suspicions."

"I know—about who she is and how she's having a baby, I mean," Raven added.

Lisbeth cocked her head in surprise. "Oh, do you now? And how is that?"

"Steve stopped and talked to her as we were coming in yesterday."

Lisbeth looked at him, eyes narrowing. "So you found time to say hello to Selena."

He flashed a grin. "Of course. She's my friend."

Raven was still preoccupied with examining the mare, and the barbs being exchanged by Lisbeth and Steve slipped past her. She rose, gave the mare a pat, and left the stall. "If she has trouble and you want me to help, let me know," she told Steve, not looking at him. Then, turning to the opposite stall, she cried, "Oh, is this Starfire?" and ran to stand on the next-to-top railing so she could lean way over and pat his head. "I can see why they named you that. You're red as fire, and that mark on your forehead really is shaped like a star. You're beautiful. Will you let me ride you sometime?"

As if he could understand what she said, Starfire gave a mighty toss of his head to knock away her hand, then stamped backward before rearing up on his hind legs to paw the air in warning that she should not come any closer.

Steve grabbed Raven by her waist and pulled her down. "Your father would have my hide if I let you get anywhere near that horse and you were hurt. He will never let you ride him, and don't you dare even think about trying."

Lisbeth did not miss the way Steve's hands seemed to linger a few seconds longer than necessary as he helped Raven down. It dawned on her that there might be something going on between them. After all, they'd been unchaperoned for quite a while.

"He looks like he's starving," Raven said of Starfire, concerned as she saw his bony sides.

"He is. He's doing it to himself." Steve pointed at the bucket of oats, the hay-littered floor of the stall. "He's got food, he just misses Ned."

"Maybe he just needs to know someone else really cares what happens to him." She reached through the railing, dipped her hand into the oat bucket before Steve could stop her, and stepped up on the side of the stall again.

"Raven, don't."

He reached for her but paused to notice how Starfire had begun to twitch his ears and wriggle his nose as though he might be interested.