Simply Heaven (20 page)

"Oh, get her away from there," Lisbeth said, exasperated.

But Steve allowed her to stay right where she was, because, to his amazement, Starfire started eating right out of her hand. "I don't believe it!"

Happily, Raven allowed him to eat all the oats, then scooped up another handful, and another, till he finally stopped. "See?" she cried in triumph, getting down and dusting her hands on her skirt. "He just needs coaxing, that's all."

"I have coaxed. So has Joshua. We've practically got down on our knees."

"Oh, pooh, that's silly," Lisbeth scoffed. "If he gets hungry, he'll eat. Whoever heard of begging a horse to do anything?" She turned to go. "I'm going back to the house. It's dusty and hot in here. Smells bad, too."

Steve was glad to see her go, but Raven called, "Lisbeth, wait. I was hoping we could go for a ride together." She had made up her mind to do her best to try and make friends with her and was disappointed when she just kept on going.

Steve saw how her shoulders slumped, and his heart went out to her. "Give it time. You have to remember finding out about you after all these years has been quite a shock to everybody."

She murmured that she knew that, then contented herself with watching Steve as he went about making sure the horses were all properly shod. He didn't offer to make conversation and neither did she. She had lain awake most of the night before thinking that maybe he had been right: she didn't have anything to lose by staying till her father died. It would be an experience to remember for always. She had also decided it was something her mother would have wanted her to do—to try and make Ned's last days happy regardless of past resentments.

She had been pleasantly surprised to discover what a pleasant sort of fellow he seemed to be. Their first meeting had been brief, but she had found warmth in his lackluster eyes and she had no doubt he wanted to spend every possible moment he could with her. Probably he had it in mind to ask a million questions about her mother, rekindling his own memories as well as his apparently never-ending love.

Finally, Steve yielded to his curiosity. "How did it go yesterday? Was meeting your father as bad as you thought it would be?"

"It was awkward. But he seems like a kind man."

"How do you feel about him now?"

She reached for a piece of straw from the floor and began to chew on it absently. "I'm not sure."

"If your mother were alive, do you think she would believe him?"

The corners of her mouth lifted wistfully. "Oh, yes. And if he had suddenly appeared in our lives, I'm sure she'd have wanted to go away with him, which would have killed Seth."

"Well, I guess that's how it is when you love somebody."

They stood a moment, both feeling uncomfortable. Steve was the first to speak. "I've got some chores to do before I leave for Mobile to take the carriage back, so I'd better get busy. Do you want me to get Diablo for you? I can have Joshua ride with you since you don't know your way around yet."

"No, I'll wait." She hesitated, then had to know, "Why can't you send someone else to Mobile with the carriage?"

Not suspecting how her heart ached to think he was actually using the trip as an excuse to visit the whores at the waterfront again, he said, "Oh, I'd rather do it myself. I always enjoy a night in town."

She knew she had to get away lest he suspect her feelings were hurt. She threw down the straw she'd been chewing and forced herself to say brightly, "Well, have a nice time. Thanks for showing me around."

She turned, only to cry in surprise to see Elijah pushing her father toward her as he sat in what looked like a chair with a big wheel on each side.

Steve saw them too and laughed. "What in the world is that?"

Ned was beaming proudly. "It was my grandfather's. He had it sent over from England. He wanted it so he could still get around the plantation in case he got old and decrepit and couldn't walk, only he didn't live that long. Neither did my father. So it's been stored ever since, but I remembered and had Elijah get it out and clean it up so I could show Raven around. I didn't realize how weak I've let myself get. I tried to walk a little and almost fell, didn't I, Elijah?"

"You sure did, but you just keep trying and you'll be strong again." Elijah didn't really think so. Like everyone else, he was amazed that Ned had rallied so miraculously since Raven's arrival but worried that it wouldn't last. He was still a sick man.

"Well, this is wonderful," Steve was saying.

Ned was paying no attention to anything except Raven, marveling again over how she looked just like her mother. He held out his hand to her. "Would you like to walk beside me and make sure Elijah doesn't let me go rolling off into the river?"

Shyly, she returned his hopeful smile. "Of course, but don't worry. If you did go in the river, which you won't, I'd pull you out." She took his hand.

As they started to leave, Steve said, "Wait a minute, Ned. You've got to see Starfire eat out of Raven's hand. It's unbelievable."

"No it isn't," Ned said, unimpressed. "She's got my blood, and he knows it. Who knows? Maybe one day he'll even let her ride him, when the time is right."

Steve stood and watched them till they were out of sight. Maybe things would work out after all.

At least for Raven and Ned, he thought with envy.

Chapter 15

Raven spent almost every waking moment with her father and was profoundly puzzled to discover she enjoyed his company. He was not, she had realized, the selfish, overbearing man she had envisioned all those years. With tears in his eyes, he told her over and over how he had suffered in finding out about her after it was too late to undo the tragic mistake he had made. He repeatedly described his punishment, telling her how miserable his life had been married to Edith.

"Lord knows, I tried to push all thoughts of you and your mother out of my mind," he said again one morning as she pushed him across the lush green lawn in the wheelchair. "I even tried to drown my misery in liquor, but it made me so sick I couldn't even do a good job of getting drunk. The only thing that gave me any kind of peace was Seth's letters. But there weren't that many. I could tell he only wrote to let me know he got the money I sent. I could also read between the lines that he would really have liked for me to get out of your lives entirely, but the fact was he needed the money."

Raven stopped the chair beneath the gently dancing fronds of a weeping willow tree. It was a beautiful spot overlooking the river. A few flatboats were lazily drifting by and, in the distance, one of the Ralston packets, bound for Montgomery. He liked for her to bring him here, every day saying how much he wished he were strong enough to walk and not need the chair, but despite his will his body was not cooperating.

She went around to sit on the ground in front of him, spreading her skirt on the grass. Madame Bonet had provided her with an elegant wardrobe, but after Raven let her know she liked simplicity, new gowns had arrived within a few days. She was wearing one of her favorites, a soft blue muslin with plain lines and light trimming.

Ned liked it as much as she did. "You're so much like your mother in everything you do, Raven. I remember how I tried to buy her a fancy dress the first day we went to the settlement, when I got the message about being needed here. I saw it in the window and thought it was so pretty, all lace and satin, with little pearls sewn right into the skirt. I wanted it for her so bad I didn't even care about reading the message in my hand, I was so busy trying to talk her into it. But she said no, she preferred simple things. I can see you do, too."

"Yes, but it's also nice to have a choice." She glanced toward the house, so grand and glorious. "I think she would have thought so, too. She would have liked it here," she added.

Ned clenched the arms of the wheelchair. "I wish I'd had the backbone to make it happen."

"But if your parents hadn't welcomed her, she wouldn't have been happy."

"I'd like to have given her the chance. She sure wasn't happy thinking I lied about how much I loved her."

Raven knew that was so, and there had been a time when she would have said as much and not cared how it hurt him. Now it was different, for she had come to believe him and knew how he had suffered.

"But at least I've gotten to know you," he said. "You're a living symbol of our love. I like to think your mother is looking down from heaven, happy to know you're going to have what should have been hers... if you will stay."

Raven plucked a blade of grass and began to twine it absently about her fingers, aware of how he yearned to hear her promise that she would. She was beginning to wonder if she dared, for as much as she wanted to be around Steve, she knew it would only mean heartache.

"I have to be honest and say I'm tempted, because Halcyon is truly the most wonderful place I've ever seen in my whole life, but I'm just not sure I could ever fit in. And while Lisbeth and Julius try to be nice about it, I know they resent the thought of me taking what they've always thought would one day be theirs." She was not about to divulge how stupid Lisbeth made her feel, or how the way Julius looked at her sometimes made her terribly uncomfortable.

"And they'll get it all if you go," he said bluntly, sadly. "It would only be right. But that's not how I want it, because even though they've always treated me with respect, I know they don't really give a damn about me, thanks to their mother. I never knew just how much Edith hated me for running off like I did, but once we got married, she sure let me know it.

"At first," he went on, "when we still spoke to each other often enough to argue, she accused me of being in love with somebody else. I guess my silence was as good as an admission, so she hated me even more. It got so we didn't have anything to do with each other. She went her way, I went mine. All she cared about was my money, and she raised her children to be the same way."

"I'm sorry you've had such an unhappy life," Raven said, for she could see the misery etched in every line of his face.

"It will be better once I'm with Lakoma again, but I don't want her mad at me for not doing right by you. She's got enough to fuss at me about." He winked. "So you think about it, girl."

Raven's heart was warmed. He was such a charming man. She could understand why her mother had been taken with him. Seth had been kind, but he was a serious, no-nonsense man, occupied with surviving in a world not given to making survival easy. There was seldom laughter in their home, and no one worried about whether or not they were happy. Food in their bellies, clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads: That was all they had ever been concerned with.

He broke into her reverie. "I've told Julius I want to have a party for you."

Raven did not know what to say. She'd never been to a party in her life. She'd seen some at the fort, when she peeked through a window, wondering what it would be like to dress so fine and whirl around the floor in a man's arms while music played. But never had she dreamed of actually being a part of it. "Why would you want to do that?" she asked.

"Because I'm proud of you, that's why. And I want everybody to know it. I want them to know
you
"—he emphasized the word with a big grin—"so I've told Julius to plan a weekend celebration. I want a fancy ball one night, and the next day the menfolk can go hunting while the ladies have tea and get to know you. Then there will be a barbecue on the lawn, like my mother and father used to have when I was a boy. Edith never entertained outside. Said she hated bugs. But I love the outdoors, and I can tell you do, too.

"I told him to invite all the bachelors around," he continued enthusiastically, "and who knows? If I can't talk you into staying to claim my fortune, maybe some young man can do it by claiming your heart."

Her protests fell on deaf ears. His mind was made up. She would have argued further, but he looked beyond her to grumble. "Here comes the old soothsayer. All he does is nag me to take that foul-tasting elixir he brews, which doesn't do me a bit of good."

Raven saw Dr. Sawyer's buggy coming up the drive. When she had first met him, he was taken aback, like everyone else, to learn she was Ned's daughter. But he had been nice to her, and she liked him.

She got up and began to push her father toward the house, watching as Dr. Sawyer reined up his horse at the stables. Steve came out to talk to him. He was shirtless, and she feasted on the sight of his muscular chest, bronzed from the sun. He certainly had a magnificent body. Hot waves moved over her as she remembered what each and every inch of it looked like. She would never forget seeing him naked—and, shamelessly, she did not want to forget.