Sinful (9 page)

E
VE FELT LIKE
she’d been sucker punched. “Never in a million years would I marry you!” She held up a finger for every reason why a marriage between them was impossible. “In the first place, I don’t love you.” Eve barely hesitated over the lie. “In the second place, you don’t love me. In the third place, our fathers hate each other’s guts.” Their siblings weren’t too keen on each other, either. “If that weren’t enough, you were widowed barely a year ago.” She paused and added, “And your wife was my best friend.”

When she had all five fingers extended she closed her hand into a fist. “Why on earth did you ask?”
And in such an unfeeling way?

Through eyes blurred by tears, she saw that Connor had his hands outstretched in supplication. “Granted that wasn’t the most romantic proposal a woman ever heard.”

“You think?” she said sarcastically.

“I wasn’t intending to be romantic.”

“Now you’re adding insult to injury.”

“Stop and think for a moment, will you?” he said, his voice suddenly sharp. “This could work out very well for both of us.”

Eve crossed her arms so he wouldn’t see how her hands were trembling and stuck her chin in the air to make the point that she wouldn’t be bullied. “I’m not going to marry a man I don’t love.” It seemed important to make the point that she didn’t love Connor. She’d been hiding her feelings without a hitch for years. She didn’t want to make a mistake now and accidentally reveal the truth.

“Fine,” he said. “We’ll keep pretending we’re engaged.”

“What’s the point in that?”

“You’re right. That’s not as good a solution as marriage.”

He tugged her hands free and held them in his. His fingers were warm and strong. She was staring at their joined hands when he said, “Look at me, Eve.”

She lifted her gaze and realized that he’d let down the stone wall that normally kept her from seeing what he was thinking. His gaze remained locked on hers. “My children need a mother. You and your mustangs need a home. I think we could build a good life together.”

She’d wanted to hear words like those last few from Connor Flynn for as long as she could remember. But this wasn’t the way she’d ever dreamed of hearing them. She yanked herself free and snapped, “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I know my children love you. I know my wife thought the world of you. I’ve enjoyed your company every time we’ve been in the same room together.”

“You’ve never seen me mad, which I’m about to get right now if you don’t change the subject.” She
slipped past him and crossed into the kitchen to put the width of the breakfast bar between them.

Eve’s stomach was roiling. The practical marriage Connor had suggested made perfect sense, but it still broke her heart to imagine a marriage based on logic, rather than love. The problem was that in less than a year she was going to be without a home for herself and twenty-two wild horses. Despite having a wealthy father, she wasn’t rich. She’d been able to work as a wildlife photographer because she’d been living at Kingdom Come. Rents were sky-high in Jackson Hole, because it was a place where the wealthy had second homes.

She had a week to find somewhere temporary to graze her horses, and less than a year to move herself and her mustangs somewhere less costly. Even a small apartment was an expense she couldn’t afford. She could ask her sisters for help, but she didn’t want to do that if she could avoid it. Their lives had also been turned upside down, and they were going to need every spare penny to start over themselves.

Connor stood patiently waiting for her to work it all out for herself, like a hunter certain his quarry will be forced from its bolt-hole.

The real problem was that she wanted to be Connor’s wife. She’d wanted it all the years he was married to Molly. But not like this. She didn’t want to become his wife in a cold, calculated business arrangement. Twice she’d said
I don’t want to marry a man I don’t love
, when what she’d really meant was
I don’t want to marry a man who doesn’t love me
.

“Before you reject the idea of marriage entirely, hear me out.”

“I’ve already rejected it.”

He cocked his head, stuck his hands on his hips, and waited. And waited.

“For heaven’s sake! Say what you have to say.”

“I need a partner, a mother for my children. You need a place to keep your mustangs, and if I’m not mistaken, within the next year, a home. Plain and simple, it’s a marriage of convenience.”

“It’s a marriage without love.”

“Romantic love doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage,” Connor said. “My brother Brian was in love when he married and it ended in bitterness and betrayal. I like you and respect you, Eve, and I think you feel the same way about me. Am I wrong?”

She hesitated, then shook her head. “No, you’re not wrong.”

“My kids adore you, and I know you love them.”

The one truly good thing about his suggestion was that she would get to be a mother to Brooke and Sawyer. She already loved them, and she would love to be their mother. Then she thought of what he hadn’t mentioned. How did
sex
fit into a marriage of convenience? She took a deep breath and asked, “Are you intending this to be a marriage in every way?”

“Will we have sex? I hope so. When you feel comfortable with that kind of intimacy.”

He was putting the ball in her court? She wanted desperately to make love with Connor, but she wanted it to be
making love
. She didn’t want it to be just
sex
.

“If we do this,” Connor continued, “I want to try and make it work for the long haul. My kids need
stability in their lives. I don’t want them losing another mother.”

Eve’s brow furrowed. “What you’re suggesting sounds a lot more like the real thing than a ‘make-believe’ marriage.”

“I guess it is,” Connor conceded.

“I still don’t see why we have to be married,” she said stubbornly. “What if you fall in love with someone else? What if I do?”

“I was faithful to Molly, and I’d be faithful to you.”

She wished he hadn’t mentioned Molly. She wished he hadn’t made fidelity sound like some military duty. It seemed clear that, even though she’d once coveted Molly’s husband, he hadn’t been the least bit interested in her. And apparently still wasn’t.

“You heard Mrs. Stack,” he continued. “She has reservations about an unmarried woman living with me. If we’re not getting married, I have to find someone more appropriate to help me with my kids.”

“You’d kick me out?”

“You’ll always be the children’s godmother. I’d never keep you from spending time with them. But I have to do what’s best for my children.”

Eve noticed he hadn’t brought up the issue of whether her horses could stay, but the truth was, they were her responsibility. She needed to be wherever they were to take care of them. If she didn’t agree to marry Connor and stay at Safe Haven, she had one week to move them somewhere else.

Eve was trapped as surely as a treed wildcat. She could snarl and hiss and bare her teeth all she wanted. The baying hounds weren’t going anywhere.

Which meant she had to consider Connor’s proposal seriously.

“Even if you get me to agree to this lunatic idea, what about our fathers? They’re going to go after each other with both guns blazing and make our lives unbearable.”

“We’ll talk them around to the idea.”

She laughed, but the sound was more hysterical than amused. “You don’t know my father.”

“We don’t owe anything to our fathers. All that matters is what we want to do.”

“What about your brothers? And my sisters?”

A pained expression crossed his face. “This isn’t their decision to make. It’s ours. I need your help, Eve. My children need a mother. Please say yes.”

She was tempted. The children gave her the perfect excuse to marry Connor, if she needed one. But the real reason the idea appealed to her so strongly was that she’d have a lot better chance of Connor falling in love with her if they lived under the same roof than if they ended up across the country from each other.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

“I’m glad.”

Eve felt a qualm when he merely looked relieved, rather than happy. “How are we going to introduce the idea of a marriage between us to our families?”

“We’ll have to tell them something soon,” he said. “I suspect Mrs. Stack has already spread the word of our notorious engagement.”

“What’s your father going to think about you getting married barely a year after Molly’s death?” Eve asked.

“He won’t understand,” Connor said flatly.

“Why not?”

“My mother died when Devon was born. I always wished my dad would remarry, so I could have a mom like other kids. When I asked him about it, he said he could never love another woman as much as he loved my mother, so what was the point?”

Eve felt the blood draining from her face. Was it a case of like father, like son? Was that why Connor was so willing to settle for a marriage of convenience? Had his heart been irreparably broken by Molly’s death? Was he unwilling to fall in love again?

Eve realized the terrible position she was putting herself in. She already loved the children, and she would only love them more as time passed. What if Connor never fell in love with her? Staying married to him would be agony. Leaving the children would be even worse. She might be making a terrible mistake. But it was a risk she had to take.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, giving Connor one last chance to back out.

“I think this will work for both of us. I’m game if you are.”

Eve could hardly believe they were going through with this crazy scheme.
I’m going to marry Connor Flynn
. She felt giddy.
And terrifed
. And hopeful.
And terrified
.

“What are your plans for today?” she asked.

“Just moving your mustangs onto the ranch. How do you want to do that?”

“Let’s drop the kids off with Leah. That way I can help you with the roundup.”

“What’s Leah going to think about getting stuck babysitting my kids?”

“Who do you think took care of Brooke and Sawyer when you were overseas and Molly and I went out for the evening?”

“Leah?” he guessed. “I suppose the kids know her and love her.”

“Everyone loves Leah.”

“Not my brother Aiden,” Connor muttered under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Connor’s unwitting revelation suggested that it was Aiden, the eldest son, who’d given Leah such a hatred of Flynns. Where had Aiden and Leah crossed paths? When had their romance occurred? And what had she and the other Brats been doing that they’d never noticed Leah’s pain?

Eve felt discouraged. How could she expect King and Angus to forgive and forget when, now that she knew the pain Connor’s brother had caused Leah, she wanted to hurt him back.

“Since we’ll be at Kingdom Come to collect my mustangs, I suppose we should stop by the Big House and break the news of our engagement to my family,” she said.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“You said yourself our engagement isn’t likely to be a secret for long.”

Connor shoved his hands into his pockets, then pulled them out and shoved them through his hair. “When was the last time a Flynn crossed your threshold?”

“When your aunt Jane left for the last time.”

“You can see why I might be a little leery of stopping off to say, ‘Oh, by the way, King, I’m going to marry one of your daughters.’ ”

Eve looked into Connor’s worried blue eyes and shrugged. “What’s the worst he can do?”

“I shudder to think.”

“There’s nothing more he can take from me,” Eve said, realizing as she said it that it was true. “My sisters love me. They want me to be happy. They’ll go along with whatever I decide.”

“And if they don’t? Can you be happy with just me and the kids?”

Eve wished he hadn’t asked. “I think so. I hope so.”

“You don’t sound very sure.”

“What do you want me to say, Connor?”

He was silent for a long time. Finally he said, “If you agree to marry me, Eve, I promise I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”

Eve wondered if that included loving her as much as he’d loved Molly. But she didn’t ask.

“I
ABSOLUTELY FORBID
it!”

“I’m engaged to marry Connor Flynn, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Eve’s heart was battering against her chest as she confronted her father. She hadn’t gotten the chance to break the news to him gently. One of his cronies had called to guffaw about the fact that one of his daughters was marrying one of those wild Flynn boys. King had called her and demanded an explanation.

Eve had refused to talk over the phone. From past experience she knew her father was far more likely to be lenient—that is to say, she was far more likely to get her own way—when he could see her slumped shoulders and repentant tears while her voice cracked with regret. Except, in this instance, she felt a great deal more confrontational than contrite.

“Let me come with you,” Connor offered when she told him what had happened. “We should broach him together.”

Eve recognized the humor of the situation. Connor was talking as though King stood atop a castle wall that had to be knocked down to reach him. “I
wouldn’t put it past my father to aim a shotgun at you to keep you out of his house,” she replied. “Let me do this. I know my father. King Grayhawk doesn’t like to be thwarted, but he can be made to see reason.”

When she arrived at Kingdom Come, alone, Leah met her at the kitchen door with her balled fists on her hips and said, “What have you done? King’s on the warpath.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” she answered, pausing only long enough to throw her coat on a wooden rack inside the back door. She headed straight to the library and found her father sitting in his favorite cowhide chair behind an ancient, spur-scarred oak desk, a whiskey in hand.

Eve had often faced her father across that desk as a quivering child. King’s word was law, and when the law was broken, punishment was quick and certain. She’d realized at a young age that King was far less likely to be upset if it was somebody else’s laws she’d transgressed. So long as she obeyed his rules, she could pretty much do as she pleased.

Unfortunately, his most important rule was
Stay away from those Flynn boys
, and she’d broken that law with a vengeance.

“Please, Daddy,” she said, placing her hands flat on his desk and leaning toward him, “won’t you listen to why I got engaged?”

He shooed her away with his free hand as though she were a bothersome fly. “Your reasons don’t matter. I refuse to be related in any way, shape, or form to that conniving scoundrel who’s done his best to make my life a nightmare ever since I divorced his sister.”

Eve settled in the sturdy leather chair in front of King’s desk, which was purposely low enough to make whoever sat in it feel like he was a supplicant to the throne. “I’m engaged to marry Connor because his children need a mother. I don’t love him.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he said, slamming his emptied whiskey glass on the desk so hard the ice cubes clinked against the crystal. “What the hell kind of marriage is that?”

“The practical kind,” she retorted. “In case you’ve forgotten, I no longer have a home. I no longer have a place to range my mustangs. I need both, and Connor’s offered to provide them.”

“So he’s buying your cooperation?”

Eve’s face flamed, but she kept her voice steady as she said, “We’re each getting something we want. And I love his children.”

“But not their father?” King queried.

When she didn’t reply, he said, “Don’t do it, Eve. I’ve been down that road. I promise you, you’ll regret it.”

It was the first time her father had revealed any sort of regret over his multiple marriages. Even so, she wasn’t sure if he meant she’d regret marrying Connor, or that he’d make her regret marrying Connor.

“There’s nothing more you can do to hurt me, Daddy.” The angst in her voice made it plain that he’d already done enough to hurt her plenty.

Eve saw the frustration on her father’s face when he realized he had nothing to use for leverage to get her to obey him. She had no trust fund he could control. He’d already kicked her out of house and home.
Matt had forced her to move her mustangs off the ranch. There was no other pressure he could bring to bear to enforce his will.

Eve suddenly noticed two small feet sticking out from under the curtains that were pulled back from the large picture window behind King. She pointed and said, “Were you aware we have company?”

“What?” King swiveled his chair around to face the curtains and frowned at the pair of small cowboy boots that stuck out from beneath them. “Come out and show yourself, boy.”

For a moment, Matt’s son didn’t move. Then he shoved his way out from behind the forest-green brocade drapes and stood with his hip cocked so the shorter leg held most of his weight. He was dressed in a miniature version of western gear, including a long-sleeved western plaid shirt, Levi’s held up by a tooled leather belt, and ostrich cowboy boots.

“How long have you been hiding back there?” King asked, his voice stern.

“A little while,” Matt’s son replied in a quavering voice. “I was playing hide-and-seek.”

“With whom?” King demanded in a booming voice.

“Nobody,” the boy admitted. “I just like to hide and see how long I can stand still before I’m discovered.”

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop on a private conversation,” King said. “Does your father approve of this kind of behavior?”

“He doesn’t like it. But since he’s gone most of the time working, and Pippa is usually busy, I get away with a lot of stuff.”

Eve wondered if the six-year-old knew how much he’d revealed in that little speech. A father gone most of the time working? A sister too busy to keep an eye on him? He sounded like an abandoned child. It seemed Matt was following in King’s footsteps in more ways than one.

King reached out a hand. “Come here, boy.”

“My name isn’t ‘boy.’ It’s Nathan.”

Eve watched the smile flicker across her father’s lips before he said, “Come here, Nathan.”

The boy took two halting steps that put him even with King’s knees before King picked him up and sat him on one.

“Do you know how to ride horseback, Nathan?” King asked.

The boy nodded. “But I don’t ride anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I got thrown and broke my leg. That’s why I limp.”

“Would you like to go riding with me sometime?” King asked.

Nathan shook his head. “I’m afraid of horses. My dad says I’m foolish. That you have to face your fears. But I’m too scared to ride.”

Eve met her father’s gaze above Nathan’s head. How often had she heard
You have to face your fears
from her father’s lips? More times than she could count.

“You have any objection to cleaning out stalls?” King asked.

The little boy looked at King with wide eyes. “No, sir.”

Eve noticed the appended “sir” and recognized
that form of address as something else she’d grown up with. King had wanted that label of respect added to every response. Eve had never done it, not if she could help it. She’d answered “yes” and hesitated, waiting for King to demand the “sir.” Half the time he let it slide, because that was easier than making an issue of the fact that she was defying him.

Maybe there was a reason she was considering marriage to a Flynn when none of her sisters had dared. Eve had a sudden thought. Was that why Leah had ended up with a broken heart? Because she wasn’t ready to defy King and marry a Flynn? Knowing Leah as she did, it seemed far more likely that Aiden had backed away, unwilling to fight his father to marry a Grayhawk.

Eve wondered how her marriage to Connor would affect all the bad blood between his siblings and hers. Make it better? Make it worse? The possibilities were mind-boggling.

Eve realized she’d lost track of King’s conversation with Matt’s son.

“You’re big enough to have a job,” King said to Nathan.

“I am?”

King nodded. “From now on, every morning after breakfast, I want you to show up at the stable.”

The little boy’s wide eyes were focused steadily on King. “Why?”

“Because it’s going to be your job to help muck out the stalls.”

“I’m too little—”

“You’re six, right?” King said.

“I will be in April,” Nathan replied. “That’s why I’m not in first grade yet.”

“What about kindergarten?” Eve asked.

“Dad said I didn’t have to go back to kindergarten again this year. I can just start first grade in the fall.”

Eve thought that was shortsighted. Nathan might not need what he would learn in kindergarten, but he would have met kids his own age with whom he could play and become friends, so he wasn’t so alone in a new place. Unless Matt didn’t plan to be here that long. Was there any chance he didn’t plan to stay the whole year? Could Matt have come here for reasons that had nothing to do with claiming the ranch?

Eve was still examining that novel idea when she heard Pippa yelling for her brother.

“Nathan! Where are you?”

The library door flew open, and Pippa stopped cold in the doorway. Her jaw dropped when she saw where Nathan was sitting. “You’re supposed to be playing in your room,” she chided. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Without a word, Nathan slid off King’s knee and headed for the door. When he got there, he stopped and turned back to King. “Are you gonna be there?”

“Be where?”

“At the stables, to show me what to do.”

“Of course,” King said. “How else are you going to learn how to do it right?”

Pippa put a hand on her brother’s shoulder and ushered him from the room without saying another word, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Are you seriously going to muck out stalls tomorrow morning with that little boy?” Eve asked.

“That little boy is my grandson, and that’s as good a way as any to spend time with him. He’s going to need to be able to ride if he’s going to take over this ranch one day. The more time he spends around horses, the sooner he’ll get over his fear of them.”

Eve stared at her father in disbelief. “Do you really believe Matt’s going to stay? That he won’t sell this place the moment it’s his?”

“Mark my words: He won’t sell. My family’s been on this ranch for generations. A Grayhawk should be running it when I die.”

“What about me? What about Taylor or Vick? What about Leah, for heaven’s sake? Didn’t you think one of us might like to run the ranch?”

He looked stunned, as though the idea had not, in fact, occurred to him. “I figured you’d all get married and be mothers and—”

“What century are you living in?”

“This one!” he snapped. “Are you or are you not about to get married and become a mother?”

He had her there. Eve glared at him. If she hadn’t been desperate because of King’s deal with Matt, she might not have ended up in the situation she was in. Honestly, she wouldn’t have wanted to run the ranch, but she felt sure Leah would have jumped at the chance. And if one of her sisters had ended up owning the ranch, she knew she would always have been welcome there.

Which wasn’t the case now.

It hurt to know that her father favored Matt and his son over his daughters and stepdaughter. She felt
envious of the six-year-old who was going to muck out stalls with her father. It sounded dumb, but King had never done anything remotely like that with her or her sisters.

It must have been the bout with cancer that had changed him. All this talk about ranching dynasties and inheritances and having a Grayhawk at Kingdom Come had started up after he’d come face-to-face with his mortality and survived. But he
had
survived, so why all this planning for a future when he wouldn’t be around?

She blurted, “Is the cancer back?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“I notice you didn’t deny it,” she said, over the sudden constriction in her throat.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said, again avoiding the question. “Worry about yourself. Think long and hard before you marry Connor Flynn. That man has problems you can’t imagine.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you think he’s running that ranch of his as a refuge for troubled vets?”

Eve was shocked that her father knew Connor had a ranch, let alone that he’d planned it as a sanctuary for veterans. “He has a kind heart,” Eve said.

“He killed his best friend.”

Eve’s stomach clenched. She didn’t contradict her father, because she couldn’t. She’d known Connor had been a tortured soul since returning home, but she hadn’t known why. “Where did you hear that?” she asked in a measured voice.

“I have my sources. Just be careful, girl. Connor Flynn is a man fighting demons.”

She rose without another word and left the library. Who was King Grayhawk to be accusing Connor of being a disturbed veteran? If anyone had been acting crazy, it was her father.

Eve raced toward the kitchen and the certain hope of comfort from Leah. She was fighting panic by the time she shoved her way through the swinging door. She opened her mouth to complain about King and snapped it shut again.

Leah wasn’t alone.