Sinful Purity (Sinful Series) (33 page)

“Thank you. You’re being incredibly sweet.” My tone implied I was questioning his motives.

“I just want to make sure you’re taken care of. That’s all,” Zack said with a sly but earnest smile.

“You always take care of me,” I reassured, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“I know, but you need a little extra care now.”

I knew that all this extra effort was no longer about me being hungry. He was ready to talk about the baby. A swell of happiness rushed over me. I was really glad he was responding so kindly about my condition and was ready to think about all of it. I just wasn’t quite as sure if
I
was ready. Pretending like nothing had changed was so much easier.

“You want to talk?” I offered, knowing what was on his mind.

“Yeah, Liz, I do. I know that at first I was all freaked out and everything. I mean, we were always safe. We always used a condom. I didn’t understand how this could happen. I had just gotten used to having you. It was a lot to take in. But then I was thinking, maybe it was meant to be. Destiny. I do love you. I want to spend forever with you. Maybe this was just fate’s way of cinching the deal.” Zack smiled gently at me, trying to gauge my reaction.

I let out a nervous laugh. “Well, this definitely cinches it.”

“Liz, you being here with my family shows me how really perfect this is. I know a baby complicates things. But I’ve been thinking and I don’t really mind. It’s a piece of us, you and me, and our love. Anyway, my family loves you. One day with you and they’ve come back to life. My dad especially.”

The thought of his family being happy and liking me made me smile. “Thanks, I really like them too.” In fact, they were better than any family I could have ever dreamed of. Way better than the Perkinses ever could have been.

“I’m just saying that we could come back and live here, all of us. I know my dad wouldn’t mind. In fact, I bet he’d love it. Having a grandkid around and all. I could work at the mill and take classes at the community college at night. We’d be a family, Liz.”

Zack’s words were so tender and heartfelt that I felt like they had stolen the breath right out of me. The thought of being a family made my eyes well up, but in a good way.

“Liz, you okay? What do you think?” Zack bent his head, trying to look into my lowered face. I was speechless. I hadn’t realized that I hadn’t said anything.

“Liz, I’m asking you to marry me. Be my wife. Be with me, always. I love you and I want to have a family with you.” Zack knelt down in front of my chair. “Will you marry me?”

“Oh, Zack. I love you too. Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked, overwhelmed with emotion. I loved Zack and the whole idea of being a family. But this was altering his future, taking away his opportunity for a better life. I didn’t want to be responsible for that.

“Liz, I have never been surer of anything in my life.”

His sincerity broke the veil of doubt surrounding my heart. “Yes, Zack. I’ll marry you,” I cried, throwing my arms around his neck.

“Good!” Zack grinned, stood back up, and kissed me fully. Then he turned and grabbed his sandwich off the kitchen counter.

“I thought maybe since we’re here, all together, we could get married this week. I can talk to my dad and set something up at the courthouse.”

“Oh, Zack, please don’t take this the wrong way, but let’s not do it this week. I just met your family. I don’t want them to think that’s why I’m here. I want them to get to know me first. And I always thought I’d get married in a church. It’s kind of important to me. It doesn’t have to be at St. Matthew’s or by Monsignor Brennigan, although I always thought it would be. What if we come back this summer and get married? It’s only a couple of months away. I wouldn’t be that far along. Please, Zack?”

“If that’s what you want,” he reluctantly agreed as he hung his head.

I could see that I had burst his bubble. I had crushed his beautiful plans, along with his heart. “Zack, I love you. I want to marry you and be with you more than anything. Please believe me. I just don’t want your family to think that here I am, Zack’s pregnant girlfriend, being forced upon them and ruining all your dreams. Let’s save that for the next visit,” I said, trying to be funny.

“Liz, you are my dream. And now the baby is too. You two are all that matters. Until you came here, I didn’t realize how much of my heart I had locked up. How much all of us closed up after mom died. You brought us all back to life.”

“In one day? I must be a miracle worker,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Liz, you are. You are everything I—we—needed.” Zack spoke just as seriously as before, taking my face in his big, strong hands as he looked into my eyes.

“All these wonderful things are making me a little queasy. I’m not used to all this,” I confessed as I wrung my hands together.

Zack took his hands from my face and placed them on my fidgeting fingers, stopping them in their tracks. “Just think about it, okay?”

I leaned forward in my chair and kissed him. “Okay.”

Zack and I sat together at the little oak table in the kitchen and ate our sandwiches. The BLT really wasn’t bad, although I might have just been hungry. Once in a while Zack’s hand would search mine out and hold it in place like a tabletop captive. Sometimes he would just lay his hand on my leg under the table. I understood that he just wanted to feel close to me, to
be touching me all the time, as if he was constantly checking and rechecking the bond we had.

“Zack, you haven’t told your dad yet, have you?” I asked anxiously, holding out hope that he’d kept his promise.

“I told you I wouldn’t. Not until you’re ready, okay?”

“Thank you.” I smiled, taking another bite of my sandwich.

After lunch Zack asked me what I’d like to do. He told me we could do anything I wanted. But all I could think about was how much I loved him and his family. I wanted to do something special for them. Zack told me that just my being there was special. Even though his words were sweet and overly sappy, I still loved hearing them. I decided that first I needed to clean up the kitchen after his culinary endeavor. I was growing very fond of the old farmhouse. I could feel the love it held within its walls. I wanted to pamper it and repair the years of neglect and sadness. I decided I would ask Zack to help with some repairs while I cleaned. He dutifully agreed.

“Do you want to do anything fun today at all?” he prodded.

It was no secret that he’d always thought that between St. Matthew’s and the orphanage, I did way too many chores. I knew he wanted this to be my vacation, my escape. Sometimes I thought he pictured me as a Cinderella and him as my prince, come to save me from all the scrubbing. His efforts were endearing but useless. I had made up my mind. This was what I wanted to do.

“I think the greenery and forest are beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like them. Maybe after we’re done in here, we could go for a walk before I make dinner,” I compromised trying to appease him.

“Okay, that’s a deal. But you don’t really need to make dinner again, Liz. You are the guest.”

“I know, but I like doing it. They seem like they really enjoy my cooking. And that makes me feel good. Anyway, I’m going to be part of the family soon, right?” I reminded him with a playful smirk.

Zack gave in with a big smile. “Okay.”

I knew that reminding him of our newly planned commitment would do the trick. I went to work in the kitchen, scrubbing the splattered bacon grease off every surface in the room. Zack went to get some wood glue to fix the well-used and nearly splintered banister.

“I love you,” he called as he opened the door to the garage, continuing his search.

I know you do
, I thought, with a genuinely appreciative smile as I scoured.

In a matter of only a few hours, Zack had masterfully repaired the handrail on the worn stairwell. He even added a new coat of paint from an old can he’d found in the storage shed. I could tell he was going above and beyond to please me. By the end of our workday, I thought he’d actually started to enjoy fixing up the place himself. After all, this was his childhood home. It had to be disconcerting to watch it fall into disrepair. He even volunteered to tighten up and strengthen the old oak kitchen chairs with the leftover wood glue.

With Zack occupied, I went about polishing and waxing all the woodwork and furniture in the kitchen and family room. I was just about to start on the front parlor when Zack decided I was working too hard and needed a break.

“Isn’t this enough manual labor for one day? You are supposed to be on break, after all.” He laughed.

He was right, I could use a break. I was getting pretty worn out. “Yeah, I could use a rest.”

“Good, then come here.” Zack plopped down on the still-dingy but recently cleaned sofa. He patted his legs as a sign that he wanted me to sit on his lap.

Of course I obliged. I never turned down a chance to be close to him. “Yes, my love. What do you have in mind?” I flirted, stretching my legs out on the couch and throwing my arms around his neck as I sat down on his lap.

“Oh, Liz. You should never ask me that. I always have lots of things in mind,” he joked seductively.

I giggled. “Zack, you’re so naughty.”

“In a good way, right?”

“Of course!” I replied, giving him a big kiss. “How about that walk?” I asked, reminding him of the plan.

“I thought you were going to take a rest.”

“Zack, relax. I’m fine. Anyway, if you’re like this now, what are you going to be like in nine months?” I teased, secretly in love with the idea.

“Okay, a short walk,” he conceded.

“Thank you!” I said, jumping off his lap, ready to go.

Outside, the air was brisk and chilly. Even in the midday sun the frosty ground barely attempted to thaw. But the frigid weather never deterred the vivid greens of the forest. The trees were like mossy skyscrapers, ever reaching toward the life-sustaining sun. In some places the trees were thick and closely bound, forming a beautiful, protective emerald canopy. In other places the towering giants were sparse, honorably permitting the beams of sunlight to touch the smaller, more fragile, less dominant foliage. The whole setting reminded me of a mystical, magical realm. I childishly expected woodland fairies and nymphs to leap from their well-concealed hiding spots at any moment.

“It’s getting late. We should get back,” Zack said, breaking my wonderment.

It was nearly four thirty. I hadn’t realized I had let time get so far away from me. I had less than an hour before Zack’s dad and brothers came home from the mill. I still had to make dinner. Zack and I swiftly headed back to the house with our one designated task in mind.

By five fifteen I was just putting the lasagna in the oven to bake. Mr. Bartlett’s massive eighteen-wheel tree hauler emerged from the tree-lined drive.

“They’re home,” Zack called from the family room, where he’d been looking out the window.

I ran over to him, jumped into his arms, and wrapped my legs around his waist, desperately kissing him over and over. We kissed passionately and hastily until our mouths lingered, selfishly ignorant of our limited time. Then, remembering our impending company, I jumped down.

“What was that for?” Zack questioned, surprised by my vigor and boldness.

“I just wanted to steal a private moment before everyone came in,” I answered, trying to explain my lack of propriety.

I knew that once his dad and brothers walked in, the house would be filled with commotion and mockery. That is, until they retired for the evening. With Zack dutifully sleeping on the couch, I didn’t know when my next chance for abandon would be. I loved him so much. I just didn’t want to be forced to wait another minute to show him.

“Hello, hello,” I heard Mr. Bartlett’s gravelly voice call.

“You aren’t naked in here, are you?” Josh said as he walked through the door.

“Don’t start on them,” Patrick implored considerately.

“Hey, it smells good in here again,” said Nathan’s young and optimistic voice.

“Lucky us.” Mr. Bartlett walked into the kitchen with a smile.

“I’m sorry, I started dinner late. It won’t be ready for about another thirty minutes,” I told him regretfully.

“Well, that’s perfect timing, my dear. Me and the boys can get cleaned up first,” Mr. Bartlett volunteered genteelly, erasing my concerns with his smile.

“Thank you,” I replied gratefully.

“Come on, boys. We’re going to wash up for dinner for once,” Mr. Bartlett ordered, wrangling the motley bunch as he hung his coat on the rack by the front door and kicked off his muddy boots.

From my spot in the kitchen, I could just catch a glimpse of him taking a second look around the freshly unsoiled and newly tidied front room. “Well, what do you know about that,” I heard him murmur as he trudged upstairs.

While the boys cleaned themselves up, I speedily made the salad and toasted up some garlic bread in the oven. When the previously filthy lot came back down, they were immaculate, almost gentlemanly. Nathan even helped me set the table while Patrick swept up the mud and debris the four of them had tracked in when they came home from work. I was shocked by the helpfulness. But I knew it was just their way of showing their gratitude. I placed the dish of lasagna on the table along with the salad and bread and joined the boys at the table.

“It looks great, Liz,” Mr. Bartlett complimented.

“Wow, two nights in a row. You sure you have to leave on Sunday?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, you could stay and cook for us all the time,” teased Josh.

“Ignore him. Although you could stay anyway, if you wanted,” Patrick said.

“Well, it’s great that you guys feel that way. Because we were kind of thinking of coming back for the summer,” Zack told them.

“What are you talking about? You come home every summer, bro,” Nathan pointed out.

“I’m talking about Liz. She might come back with me in a couple of months after school lets out. If it’s okay with all of you.”

“Zack, this isn’t the time,” I said, anxious for the conversation to end. “Let them eat. They’re hungry. Summer is months away.”