Sins of the Father (4 page)

It was the thought of having two less to worry about that made Tom’s decision. Looking up, he nodded at Alice. ‘All right, you can have ’em, but I can’t give you anything towards their keep.’

‘None’s expected, Tom.’

‘Right, that’s settled then.’

‘But, Dad…’ Emma protested.

‘If I hear one more word from you, my girl, you’ll be sorry. I’m doing what I think is best and that’s that.’

‘She’s bound to be upset, Tom,’ Alice placated.

‘Do you want the kids or not?’ he said, his tone threatening. He could change his mind, and Alice knew that.

She nodded. ‘You know I do.’

‘Right then, when do you want to take them?’

‘I’ll have to get beds first. After all,’ she chuckled, ‘I can hardly stuff them in with me and Cyril. I’ll buy them tomorrow, so how about Tuesday?’

‘Yeah, that’s fine with me. It’ll give Emma time to prepare them, not that I think they’ll mind. After all, as you said, they’ll only be downstairs.’

Alice rose to her feet, her voice high with excitement. ‘Thanks again, Tom. I can’t wait to tell Cyril.’ She then turned to Emma and her face straightened. ‘Oh, love, don’t be upset. They’ll be fine with me, I promise.’

‘Leave her to me, Alice,’ Tom said, pleased when the woman left. He’d soon sort Emma out and
she could start looking for work. Dick was already earning a fair few bob on the market, and with his daughter bringing in money too, things would finally start looking up.

Emma sat quietly. She should be heartbroken, but instead was disgusted with herself for feeling relief. When Dad told her to look for work she’d felt a surge of excitement. God, it would be wonderful to get out of this flat, to find a job, if only part time. She’d be earning money, her own money, and maybe she could find a way to go out a couple of evenings a week. She missed her mates, missed sharing confidences, having a laugh, talking about boys, fashions, the latest records.

Nowadays she felt like a staid old woman, her life revolving around cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Once again Emma felt a wave of excitement. With Luke coming up to his fourteenth birthday, maybe he could see to the others after school, and then she could work full time. Come to that, he could see to them during the school holidays too. Without James and Archie, that left only the girls, and they wouldn’t be much trouble. Well, Susan maybe, with her constant moaning and petty illnesses.

Emma’s mind continued to whirr, wondering what sort of jobs might be available. The sound of footfalls on the stairs interrupted her thoughts
and she looked up with a start when Dick walked in.

‘Hello, love.’

Their father offered no greeting, and Dick ignored him, saying to Emma only, ‘Watcha,’ before looking round the room and adding, ‘Where are the kids?’

‘Playing outside. Didn’t you see them?’

‘No, but I saw a gang running wild on the bombsite and no doubt our lot are with them. Hang on, where’s Archie?’

‘He’s playing outside too.’

‘What! But he’s only a nipper.’

‘He’ll be all right. Luke will keep an eye on him.’

‘I still think he’s too young. You should have kept him in, Em.’

‘It wasn’t me who chucked him out.’

Dick’s expression soured as he turned to look at his father, but the man rose to his feet, saying, ‘I’m off out. You can tell him about the kids, Emma.’

‘I suppose the pub’s beckoning,’ Dick said, his voice thick with sarcasm.

‘Watch your mouth! Money’s tight and I’m only having one pint–not that it’s any of your business.’

‘How come you’re skint already?’

‘’Cos I had to stump up some of the rent arrears.’

‘If you paid the rent every week it wouldn’t mount up. I’m not surprised that Mr Bell put his foot down.’

‘I told you to watch your mouth. Like Emma, you’re getting too big for your boots and I ain’t standing for it. Now as I said, I’m off, and I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself in future. I’m the man of the house, and don’t you forget it.’

As the door slammed, Dick said, ‘What’s this about the kids?’

‘Alice Moon came to see Dad. She’s grown fond of James and Archie. Dad has agreed that she can have them permanently.’

Dick looked thunderstruck. ‘But he can’t do that!’

‘I felt the same way at first, but since then I’ve had time to think about it. The boys will be better off with Alice. She’ll look after them and they’ll have the life of Riley. Not only that, they’ll only be downstairs so we can see them whenever we want.’

‘It still ain’t right.’

‘Without James and Archie to look after, I’ll be able to get a job. I’d like that and I’ll be able to put some money in the pot too.’

Dick sighed heavily. ‘Yeah, I suppose you’re right, but I’m gonna miss the little tykes, especially Archie.’

Emma pictured her youngest brother’s cheeky
face, and knew she would too. Dick sat on the only chair they had, the one vacated by their father, and his eyes closed. He’s tired, Emma thought, and it isn’t surprising. To earn a few bob extra Dick had taken a shift at the Sunday market, rising at five. Sighing, she went back to her sewing, her thoughts drifting again.

Emma felt a wave of guilt. It would have broken her mother’s heart to see the family torn apart and maybe she should have fought more to keep James and Archie. Yet she couldn’t help feeling excited. Working in a shop would be nice; especially a clothes shop or jeweller’s. Distracted, the needle pricked her finger and she let out a small yelp, lifting it to her mouth to suck the blood. She hated sewing. In fact she hated all housework. It was never-ending, the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning. Her eyes widened in realisation. The work would still have to be done, but how was she going to keep on top of it if she was at work all day? For a moment Emma was flummoxed, but then straightened her shoulders with determination. The rest of them would have to help, to muck in and do their share. She’d give each of them a job, one that, depending on age, they’d be capable of doing.

A small smile played around her lips as she settled back again, ignoring her pricked finger as she finished off the patch. Susan wasn’t too bad
with a needle and could do the repairs from now on. It was time to sort them out, to move on. For the first time since her mother’s death, Emma felt like living again.

Things didn’t work out quite as Emma expected. Far from being upset, James and Archie were happy to live with Alice.

‘She’s nice,’ James said. ‘She plays with us, cuddles us, and we’ve got our own beds. I like it downstairs.’

Emma lowered her eyes, suddenly realising how much she had neglected them. She’d been busily wrapped up in housework with the ironing sometimes taking hours to complete, let alone the laundry and trying to mend clothes that were nothing but rags for the older ones to wear for school. She should have paid them more attention, but instead had given them bits and bobs to play with, old cotton reels and paper to cut into shapes, getting increasingly annoyed if they tried to distract her. When their mother was alive, they may have lacked money, but they had never lacked love. The housework would be abandoned if
Archie or James wanted a cuddle, and when the others came home from school, she had listened patiently as they chatted away.

Everything had changed when she died. Now, when the kids came home Emma was often cross with them for getting under her feet, happy for them to play out on the streets until dinner was ready. God, no wonder they were running wild.

With a small groan, Emma hugged herself. She’d been so wrapped up in trying to run the home as her mother had that she’d forgotten the most important thing. Love. No wonder James and Archie were happy to live with Alice, going downstairs on Tuesday morning without demur. Alice had been wonderful, letting them run upstairs to Emma whenever they wanted, but the novelty soon wore off and for the rest of the day their trips grew more and more infrequent.

‘I want to live with Alice too,’ Susan said, breaking into Emma’s thoughts.

When Emma looked at her sister she saw Susan’s mouth drooping despondently, the child close to tears. Time to turn over a new leaf, she thought, and smiling softly, she rose to stroke Susan’s hair. ‘Oh, love, I’d miss you something rotten. What would I do without you to cuddle up to at night?’

Susan managed a small smile in return, but she obviously wasn’t completely mollified. ‘Alice’s flat
is much nicer than ours, and I bet she buys loads of stuff for James and Archie. It ain’t fair, Em.’

‘Once I get a job we’ll be able to have new things too. I’ll be able to save up to buy us some decent clothes, and this winter I promise you’ll get a nice new coat.’

‘Me too?’ Bella cried, followed by an echo from Ann.

‘Yes, you too,’ Emma placated, ‘and what about you, Luke? What would you like?’

Luke’s head dipped to one side. ‘Well…if we’ve got the money, I’d like a cat, a ginger one. I like cats.’

‘We’ll see, but don’t forget that in future when you come home from school, you’ll all have little jobs to do.’

‘We know,’ Luke said.

Emma held out her arms to her youngest sister, gratified when Ann ran into them. ‘When I’m not here, be a good girl and do what Luke tells you.’

Ann’s head burrowed into Emma’s chest. ‘All right, Em.’

With a small sigh Emma closed her eyes. She hoped they’d be all right. Alice had agreed that they could run to her if there was an emergency, and that had eased her mind. Now all she wanted was to find a decent job, something she intended to do as soon as the kids left for school in the morning.

*    *    *

At five thirty the next morning, Emma heard Dick stirring, and she too rolled carefully off the mattress to follow him down the ladder.

She hated lighting the fire during the summer months, but without it she wouldn’t be able to boil a kettle or cook anything for the kids’ breakfasts. As soon as these tasks were completed she would thankfully douse it, and it wouldn’t be rekindled until she had to cook dinner.

‘You don’t usually get up this early,’ Dick said as he went to the sink for a sluice down, afterwards drying himself on a piece of rag.

‘If I get a job today I’ll have to get used to it. There’ll be loads to do before the kids go to school and I might as well start as I mean to go on.’

‘Loads to do? Such as?’

‘Well, after sorting the kids I’ll need to prepare dinner in advance and it takes a while to get the vegetables ready. Then I’ll have to cook them, at least partly, finishing them off when I come home.’

‘Yeah, I suppose so. I’d best get a move on or I’ll be late.’

‘What about your breakfast?’

‘Charlie always gets me a bacon roll from the café and a nice big mug of tea too.’

‘He’s a good boss, you’re lucky.’

‘Yeah, he ain’t bad, but he’s a bit of a slave-driver at times. Still, it could be worse. See you
later,’ he called, the door shutting behind Dick before Emma had time to reply.

Emma’s stomach rumbled. A bacon roll! What she wouldn’t give for a bacon roll. One day, she thought, cheering herself up. If she found a good job they could all have bacon again. She went to the sink, pulling the metal bucket out from underneath and picking out vegetables to use in a stew. God, she was sick of vegetable stew, sick of eating the same thing every day. With her first pay packet she’d grab the ration book and head for the butcher’s. At the thought of meat, her mouth salivated.

When the kids got up, chaos reigned. As though to show their displeasure at this change of routine, all except Luke played up. Susan said she felt ill, but when Emma felt her forehead, there was no sign of a fever. Used to Susan’s wily ways to get out of school, Emma ignored her whines as she encouraged them to dress, sad that despite her best efforts they still looked like a band of ragamuffins.

She made the porridge, handing each of them a bowl, but when Susan sat on the floor, taking her first mouthful, she grimaced. ‘It’s horrible, Em. Ain’t we got any sugar left?’

‘No. You had the last of the sugar that Alice gave us yesterday.’

‘I can’t eat it without sugar.’

‘Then you’ll go hungry,’ Emma said impatiently.

Susan pouted, took a few more mouthfuls, but abandoned the rest. The others ate without complaint, and at last they were ready for school.

‘Now then,’ Emma said firmly, ‘off you go. I’ll be looking for a job today and may not be here when you come home from school. If that’s the case you all know what you have to do.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll look after them,’ Luke said.

‘I know you will,’ Emma said, smiling at her brother, ‘but don’t forget what I said. Don’t try to light the fire. I’ll do it when I come home.’

Luke nodded, but as Emma looked at the girls she saw the confusion and uncertainty in their eyes. Remembering her determination to turn over a new leaf, she hugged them one by one, saying reassuringly, ‘You’ll be fine with Luke and…and I’ll see you later. Be good at school,’ she added as they reluctantly shuffled off.

The door had hardly closed when Emma heard her father coming down the ladder. He scratched his head, then a fit of coughing racked his body.

‘I don’t suppose there’s any tea going?’ he croaked.

‘Since when have we had money for tea? I used to dry nettles for Mum, but you never drank it.’

‘I can’t stand the stuff.’

Emma said nothing. She hated talking to her father and avoided it as much as possible. Instead of sitting down he went to the sink, gulping down a mug of water before sluicing more over his head. Emma left him to it, climbing the stairs to the loft again.

She needed to get ready, and hoped the clothes she had sorted out the night before would be all right. She’d carefully ironed a blouse, but the pattern had almost faded, the material worn thin. The skirt wasn’t too bad, though you could see a line where the hem had been taken down, which no amount of ironing could hide. She had no stockings, but hoped nobody would notice, and lifting her hand to touch her hair, wished she had something to pin it up. It felt stiff, lank, but without soap she’d only been able to rinse it with cold water. Pulling at the tangles with her fingers, she did the best she could, then returned downstairs.