Sister Heart (13 page)

Tim grabs me at breakfast

Eyes red and puffy

Nose snotty

Wanna see me sister!

Tim needs to see Janey

I need to see Janey

Janey needs to see us

Why won't Nurse understand?

After school

we sneak back

to the hospital ward

Tim gives his secret tap

Janey doesn't move

I thump the window

Janey raises her head

Hair dull

Face thin

Darkness round her eyes

Tim gasps

Poor Janey

She real crook, Annie!

Janey slides out of bed

No, no, stay there, sis!

cries Tim

Janey stumbles over

Eyes sunk

Lips dry

Skin tight

She presses her hand

to the window

I take Tim's hand in mine

press our hands

to the same spot

All our hands together

Tim is crying

I am crying

Janey gives a little smile

Her head droops

hand slides away

body flops down

Janey is coughing

but the noise sounds weak

Nurse comes into the room

sees Janey out of bed

lying on the floor

spluttering

Spots me and Tim

at the window

GO AWAY!

I wake to see Janey

standing by my bed

I rub my eyes

Is she really here?

Janey?

I smile at her

You come back?

Janey stares past me

past the other girls

past the walls

of the locked sleeping room

I jump out of bed

You cold?

Annie, I'm a good big sister, huh?

Yeah, Janey!

Janey smiles like the sun

Someone touches my shoulder

I jump in fright

spin around

Nancy says

Who you talkin' to?

Talkin' to Janey

I spin back

Janey's gone

Go to sleep, Annie

Nancy says

You dreamin', girl!

In the morning

I wake happy

So what if I was dreaming?

Janey smiled

Janey talked

Janey's getting better

I jump up

and straighten the blanket on her bed

Janey's coming back!

Nurse is here

at school

talking to Teacher

Both talking soft

both nodding

both looking at Tim

Tim dreamed about Janey, too

He told me before breakfast

she was in his dream bossing him

and it made him laugh

Timothy

says Teacher

go with Nurse

Tim shoots out of his chair

Big grin on his face

Can Annie visit Janey too?

No, Timothy

just you

Tim weaves his way to my chair

I'll say hello for you, Annie!

He rushes after Nurse

Some kids grumble

Tim is getting a treat

Teacher says

Quiet!

It's time for mathematics

Annie, eyes front

away from the door

What is happening

is none of your business

You can only count to five

so pay attention!

I am too excited to do sums

I wriggle in my seat

Keep twisting round

looking at the door

I want to be with Janey and Tim

I want to go

I half rise from my seat

Whack!

Teacher hits my arm

Sit down, Annie!

Ugly glasses

drop down on their new ribbon

Ribbon loosens

Glasses hit the floor

Janey will laugh

when I tell her

After school

I duck into the bush

to look for something special

for Janey

I hear a crying noise

Soft at first

then louder

Soft and loud

loud and soft

Not stopping

I follow the sobs

through the bush

to the crying tree

Tim is curled inside

Why isn't he with Janey?

Did Nurse make him leave?

I squeeze in beside him

put my arm round him

Tim is hunched up tight

He won't look at me

won't say my name

won't talk

Tim, you see sister?

Tim gives a shuddery sob

squirms around

opens his fist

Why

does he have

Janey's laughing stone?

Tim lifts his wet face to mine

And I know

I just know

Nurse finds me and Tim

crying in the crying tree

She kneels

opens her mouth

closes it

shakes her head

I am sorry

Janey's illness

stole her away

I wish I had let you see her

I didn't want you to get sick

Her voice is kind

but her thinking is crooked

If we could sit with Janey

if we could make her smile

we wouldn't care if we got sick

Nurse holds out a hand

I think you'd better

come with me now

Tim kicks a leg at Nurse

yells

What you do with Janey?

Nurse pulls her hand back

Timothy, I already told you …

Tim screams

What you do with her?

Where you put Janey?

I wanna say goodbye!

Nurse says

Isn't it nicer

to remember Janey

how she was

before she got sick?

Tim kicks again

I wanna say goodbye to me sister!

He looks at me

You tell her, Annie!

Tell her I wanna say goodbye!

I lean forward

I'm strong for Janey

Strong for Tim

Strong for me

I grab Nurse's arm

Dig my fingers in hard

Yell loud as I can

TIM WANTS TO SAY GOODBYE!

A government man

dug a government hole

in government ground

and buried Janey

in a government grave

1 – 2 – 3 government graves

Janey in the middle

A small grave each side

Little ones coughed

till they stopped

just like Janey

Me and Tim

stand at Janey's grave

Hands shaking

Legs wobbly

Tim sobs

Why didn't they send her home, Annie?

Dunno, Tim

Tim kneels

pulls Janey's laughing stone

from his pocket

lays it down

I kneel

pull my bush doll

from my pocket

lay her down

Tim leans against me

shivering

I put my arm round him

We cry and cry

and cry

and cry

Till Tim whispers

Bye, sister

Then we cry lots more