Sister Heart (10 page)

Today's an ice day

says Janey

Me feet are ice

Me hands are ice

What about your head, Annie?

Is it ice?

I nod

Even my breath is ice

I can see it floating in the air

Sorry, Annie

Janey says

but I forgot to count

Been more than two weeks

You wanna check ya hair?

My hands fly to my head

Has my hair grown?

It feels longer!

Just a little bit

When will it reach my ears?

Be lots and lots of two weeks

before it tickles ya neck, Annie

Wish I had a hat

to cover my prickly skull

No sun today

just dark clouds

and sharp air

Wish I had a jumper

to keep me warm

Janey's jumper has a baggy neck

and a too-long sleeve

I made this meself, Annie

I'm good with knittin'

Sometimes outside people

remember us

and give old yarn

Or if they give

jumpers with holes

I can pull 'em apart

and make somethin' better

If more warm stuff comes

I'll make Tim a new jumper

Make you one too

I shudder

my skin is bumpy

my teeth are clicking together

my bones are stiff

All of me is ice!

Poor thing

you shakin' all over!

Janey pulls an arm out her jumper

Here, stick your arm

in me sleeve

Be better than nothin'!

I wriggle my arm inside

The sleeve is warm from Janey's arm

Feels good

It's hard to walk to school

joined by a jumper

I try not to pull hard

Some of Janey's still bruised

Dot and Emmy link arms

pretend to walk wonky

like me and Janey

They are so funny

Nancy gets the giggles

Then Janey gets the giggles

She gets them so bad

she makes me giggle too

Suddenly

I am giggling and crying

The crying giggles have got me

and I can't stop

I cry for me

for Janey and Tim

for Mum and my little sister

for everyone and everything

I trip

and fall

to the ground

Janey lands next to me

I hear myself sobbing

Janey, Janey!

Janey squeals

Annie, you can talk!

Kookaburras

cockatoos

magpies

mudlarks

galahs

swoop

gossip

call out

make Tim smile

Tim loves birds

He squishes his mouth

with his hands

so his coughs

don't scare them

Specially mudlarks

Tim spying on birds

Little sister spying on kangaroos

Wish she was curled in my lap

Wish I was showing her birds with Tim

Sometimes

Tim catches me watching him

Hey, Annie

Hey, Tim

I still don't speak much

but Tim makes me talk

You love birds, Annie?

Yeah, Tim

Janey makes me talk too

You love trees, Annie?

Yeah, Janey

Love birds

Love trees

Love my new friends more

Teacher draws

a white cross

on the floor

with chalk

Points at me with her stick

Stand here, Annie!

If I stand on the cross

I will be out the front

facing stares

from every kid in the room

with Teacher standing

behind me

Teacher glares at me

Points again

I push back my chair

stand on the white cross

elbows pressed in

hands over my guts

No one looks

like they will laugh

They just look sorry

Stand straight

with your arms down

Now, repeat after me

Mary had a little lamb

its fleece was white as snow

everywhere that Mary went

the lamb was sure to go

So many english words

to say

all at once

I stutter and stumble

through the words

and when I get

to the last line

I get it wrong and say

the ham was sure to glow

The other kids bust out laughing

Teacher whacks me

but the edge misses

Tomorrow

we will do this again

We will do it every day

until you can say it perfectly

Teacher shoves

a rag into my hand

Now, clean the chalk

from the floor

Later, Janey says

That rhyme is for babies

Teacher wants you to feel dumb

and look dumb

but you ain't dumb, Annie

Stupid Mary

and her little white lamb

can get lost!

Bit by bit

my hair gets longer

Bit by bit

Tim's cough gets louder

His lips are blue

says Janey

Bad sign!

Janey yells at Tim

to wear his jumper

Too hot, sis!

She feels his face

You sweatin'!

We steal bread for Tim

Janey shows me how to do it

without getting caught

Stick it down ya top, Annie

then hunch over little bit

cross ya arms

like ya cold

No one will see the bump

Janey is making me a good stealer

We soften bread with water

Tim coughs it up with snot

Janey pokes Tim's ribs

You gettin' bony, little brother

I'll catch you a gilgie

Nancy told me a spot

Nancy can't come with us

She's doing jobs

jobs

jobs

no more school for Nancy

now she's fourteen

just jobs

Reckon Nancy might run

says Janey

She sick of bein' bossed

She sick of bein' spied on

Wants her own life

Wants to be free

You watch

she gunna run!

Tim frowns

When I'm fourteen

will I work for strangers?

Yeah

Janey says

till then ya stuck here

Tim stares at Janey

What if I hate where they send me?

What if they mean people?

Janey fixes sad eyes on him

Don't matter, Tim

If someone needs a worker

you stuck there

Ain't got no choice

But why, Janey?

She shrugs

Government don't like our family

Don't like Annie's family

Or Nancy's

That's why they took us

to make us forget our families

to make us forget our country

to make us what they want

I won't be what they want

specially not on the inside

Grandpa told me

our people been in our country

forever

This is your home place, my girl

Your heart place

You remember that

My heart tells me

it's the same

for Janey and Tim's family

same for Nancy

same for all the kids here

Tim says

I won't forget, sis

Can't forget yourself!

says Janey

We all laugh

On our way to the creek

Janey shows me bush flowers

peeping out at the world

billy buttons

pepper and salt

boronia

Janey squats down

touches a billy button gently

Billy buttons

are like baby suns

I like billy buttons too

Billy buttons are a smile

on the ground

Tim coughs

Hurry up, you girls!

I'm gettin' hungry for gilgie!

The spot Nancy told us is good

We search the muddy shallows

for gilgie shadows

Tim says

There! Three gilgies!

Me and Janey jump in

Splash!

Grab gilgies

Water is so cold

Tim yells

I wanted to catch them!

Not warm enough

Janey says

You only swim

when it's hot