Six Years (20 page)

This time around, when his tongue brushed lightly the roof of my mouth before he nipped at my upper lip, I moaned. I tried to press myself harder against him, wanting to always feel him against me, to feel his desire, his desire to be with me, just like I needed it, him. I was aching from need.

He broke the kiss, but kept his lips ghosting mine. “Don’t make that kind of sound.’’

I opened my eyes, dizzy and not ready to step out of this lust filled bubble, but I was willing to play along a little. “Maybe I want to put you on your knees with lust.’’

The barely there friction of our lips was distracting and so very thrilling, playing with my frustration and what I was craving to do; kissing him to the point where we wouldn’t even mind if we’re in public and going at it. As dirty as it sounded this man was giving me wicked ideas.

He tugged just enough on my hair to make me hiss. “Don’t play with fire, Brooklyn. I don’t want to see you burnt,’’ he said, his lips still grazing mine, his lip ring adding that little something dangerous. His hazel eyes looked dark up close as he tried to keep some kind of control over this.

“I wouldn’t be the only one,’’ I whispered back, my face tingling as his breathing fanned my sensitive skin. At this point, I must be blushing.

He nodded and released me, taking a step back and then two more. As cliché as it sounded, cold invaded my body, chasing away the tingles to replace it with a chill now that his heat wasn’t surrounding me. That transition was hard. I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Let’s go inside. I think the patrons got enough of a show for one night,’’ he said with a rough voice, pointing at the small restaurant where a few people were shamelessly watching us, their noses almost touching the huge bay window. Small towns sucked.

He cleared his throat and, failing at hiding it, adjusted his erection that was obvious in his pants. I turned my head to the side and let my hair hide my victorious smile. Without another word I walked to the restaurant with a spring in my step that I hadn’t been feeling earlier.

Before I could open the door, Nolan ran and grabbed the door handle and opened it with a smile I’d qualify as sexy. When he smiled like this, you could only be drawn to him, your eyes glued to the small silver peeking from his mouth, that little thing you’d damn yourself just to nibble on it between deep kisses. I couldn’t keep my mind out of the gutter for more than one minute. It could get complicated if I had to participate in a conversation with him.

I smiled back and walked inside with Nolan hot on my heels. As soon as I looked up a tall and very thin man opened his arms and walked up to me. His wrinkles were like lines of every emotion life gave him, some bad and many good. Around his eyes, his wrinkles made him appear to be always smiling, which wasn’t far from the truth as it was well-known that Mr. Cullpeper or Pepper as he had always been nicknamed, was a good natured man. Not caring if his cook attire was dirty, I went in his arms and hugged his thin body. Close up, he smelt like a fabulous Italian recipe and it made me chuckle before he released me, keeping his big paws on my thin shoulders, his deep brown eyes on my face as to see if I was truly good.

“It’s been too long, honey,’’ he admonished me with his booming voice, attracting the attention of the patrons eating at the few small tables scattered around. His only waitress, his cousin who was much larger than Pepper, waved at me before she focused back on the old man who was obviously a difficult patron. Poor Tania.

“I know, Pepper, but I’ve been working more shifts to pay for a new place.’’

His thick eyebrows went up on his forehead, accentuating the three lines marking it. “You’re on your own?’’

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.’’ I waved his concern off and stepped away from him before I went back beside Nolan who was strangely very quiet, his eyes taking in the scene as if he was storing some kind of information just to use it later on in one of his books. “Do you remember Nolan Bell?’’

“Oh my!’’ Pepper laughed heartily and extended his hand with bulging veins. The men shook hands before Pepper’s eyes landed on our holding hands. His smile broadened even more before he shook his head. “I read all your books, young man. You’ve got some talent.’’

“Thank you, Sir. It looks like you know Brooklyn well.’’

Pepper led us to a table in the far corner of the restaurant—not that the place was big, but at least no one was directly sitting next to us—and gave us the menus. “She worked here last year.’’

Nolan kept his eyes on me after he helped with my chair and went to sit in front of me. “I thought you’d only worked at the bar.’’

I shook my head. “I needed more money so I took a few shifts here.’’

“She’s a feisty one. And thanks to her beautiful face, many young people came back here at Papa Joe’s.’’ Pepper said before he excused himself and went back to the kitchen he manned alone.

“Beautiful face, huh?’’

“Something like that.’’ I smiled sheepishly at memories of last year came crashing back. To say that last year had been quite wild would be an understatement. We all went through such a period. For some it’s when they’re teenagers like I had been, while for others it was later on once they’re about to get settled. Most of it was out of my system now.

He frowned and looked down at the appetizing meals listed on the menus. The stiffness in his shoulders and the way his hands fisted tightly the menu made it obvious that he was upset.

“Nolan, don’t tell me you’re jealous or some shit like that. It’s ridiculous and you weren’t even here!’’

He put down the menu and locked his eyes on me, bright in the soft lights of the restaurant. “You needed money so you slaved at a bar and here after a day spent in high school while I basked in more money than I could spend. That’s my issue right now. It’s not about who you fucked or teased or even with whom you were.’’

I leaned over the table, bringing my face closer to his. “You’re not responsible of me and that stuff with money? It was all because of me. I made a mistake and I had to pay for it. Literally.’’ I made sure to keep my cool mask on, not willing to get into my mistakes and delve into some part of my past I wasn’t that proud of.

“Tell me about it.’’ His voice held the kind of note that called for no bullshit. Even his whole face seemed closed off and when the waitress came to take our orders, he didn’t ease off.

I stalled some by taking a sip of my glass of water, but I couldn’t play this kind of game for much longer. Under the table, his leg was tapping a fast rhythm he was the only one to hear. “I met a guy and he made me think that maybe we could…I don’t know.’’ I laughed, but it was humorless. In my chest, a tightness I thought disappeared months ago came back, along with a bitterness I abhorred.

“Did you love him?’’ he asked me with a blank voice, his eyes now downcast, focused on his hands as he played with his fork.

“I was on the track to, but I wasn’t in love. I guess I was hoping that he would be the one able to make me forget you and forget these ridiculous feelings I had for a guy who wasn’t even here and who never saw me as something else but a sister. And as a foolish freshly seventeen year old girl with an older guy, I lost all common sense for a little while.’’

He took a deep breath and looked up, his hazel eyes boring into me. “And what’s a little while for you?’’

“A summer. It was just a summer fling.’’ I ignored the lump in my throat and pushed back the memories, the angst I felt, the fear I experienced for a whole week, thinking that I would face something life altering alone.

“We spent years apart and yet I still know when you’re not saying something. What aren’t you telling me?’’ He put down his fork and grabbed one of my hands, entwining our fingers and squeezing. My skin was more pasty than his and softer, but it looked perfect against mine. Even his thick wrist was perfect to me, so manly and yet not enough to be intimidating.

I shrugged and bit on my lower lip. “This guy disappointed me. I knew he was just here for the summer, but the way he left…’’

“He didn’t say goodbye.’’

“He did, but I didn’t like the way he did it.’’

“And what did he do to make you so broke that you had to do two jobs in addition to school?’’

“He owed money to a guy and I gave it to him because I cared about him.’’ I pulled away, forcing him to release my hand. “I don’t want to talk about this, Nolan. Just drop it.’’

“For now, but not forever.’’

I nodded and tried to smile, but it was difficult as my emotions were fighting inside. I gritted my teeth and fortunately, Pepper walked to us and broke the tension that could have been cut with a knife.

“Escalope a la milaise for you, honey, and lasagna for you, Mr. Writer.’’ After he put down our plates he went to welcome new patrons with his usual cheerful smile.

Garlic, basilica and tomatoes smelt so good that I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me. I was thin, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t like my food. Not by a long shot. Food, and I meant good food, was very important.

Nolan chuckled and started eating earnestly, nodding at the first bite. Pepper was one hell of a cook. It was well known around here that he surpassed his father, and yet, he never expressed any interest in going away to work at a well-known restaurant in New York or any other city. He often said that he wouldn’t sever his roots just for more money and some arbitrary renown. I’d love to feel that way about this town, but I didn’t. I didn’t feel like I had any roots here with how my parents behaved. I could leave this town without a second thought if I had a job lined up somewhere far from here.

“I’d forgotten how Pepper’s meals taste. It’s fucking good,’’ he said between bites and I laughed at his enthusiasm.

“He’s a genius. When I worked here, he always made sure that I ate properly. He was determined to make me more plump.’’

“Plump?’’ He stopped eating with his fork in mid-air.

“He told me that men like their women with more curves, some flesh and not just skin and bones.’’ I laughed at the memory and took another bite from my plate, savoring the meat almost melting on my tongue.

“You’re thin, but you’re not all skin and bones. He should go and check his eyes,’’ he replied with a smile, pouring some more water in our glasses as Tania, the waitress, turned the music up. I didn’t know what was playing, but it made me think about Italy as Italian words got just a notch louder, but not enough to make it difficult to talk.

“I think he’s just afraid that I wasn’t eating at home. He can be a real mother hen when you let him.’’

He smiled and took another bite of his almost finished lasagna. We fell silent as we enjoyed our meal and the atmosphere, catching each other’s eyes between every few bites, smiling more and more, sometimes even wickedly. His eyes often fell to my cleavage. He was such a man!

“I talked with my mother the other day,’’ he said, breaking the soothing silence.

I frowned and swallowed the last bite of my meal, ready to listen to him closely. It wasn’t like him to willingly talk about what was painful for him. It wasn’t easy for me to talk about this either. I wasn’t one to enjoy deep talk, meaningful ones. I’d spent years only seeking fun, but Nolan was my exception.

“How did it go? I wanted to visit her today, but I had to go back to my parents’ to get the last of my stuff while they were at work and then it was past visiting hours.’’

He pushed aside both our empty plates and grabbed my hands in his, palm against palm. The tip of his fingers brushed my inner wrists and goosebumps appeared all over my forearms and up the rest of my body in a small wave.

“You don’t have to visit her, Brooklyn.’’

“I know that. I want to.’’ I ran my fingers over his palm, my nails lightly tracing the outer lines of his palms near his wrists. “What did you talk about?’’

“Nothing much, you know. She apologized again, told me that she wanted to help me deal with what she did to me. Shit like that.’’

“Don’t you believe her?’’

He rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on my hands, not ready to break our physical link just yet. It was a good thing because I enjoyed this innocent touch too much. “Tell me how someone can be genuine when they don’t even remember half of the things they’re apologizing for.’’

“Your mother is not high anymore, she’s ill and trying to make amends. She’s genuine in her actions even if she’s not able to list all the things she did to you and how she’d neglected you, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what you’re looking for deep down. So what do you want from her?’’

He suddenly released my hands and straightened in his chair, biting on his lip ring and running a hand along his unshaved jaw. “Let’s not go there tonight.’’

“You’re the one who brought it up. Man up and share this with me. I’m your girl now!’’ I whispered-yelled, leaning even more above the table, my hair avoiding to get into our empty glasses by some miracle.

He glared at me and jumped to his feet. He fished his wallet from his pants and walked to Tania who was at the cash register. Not once did he look back at me. I punched my hand down on the table. The glasses and forks and knives made some rattling noises against the empty plates. People were watching me standing up and stomping to the door, but I didn’t care. No, in fact, I wanted to give them the finger, but I managed to keep some dignity. I didn’t say a word to Tina as I walked past the register or to Pepper who was looking out the kitchen’s door and left the restaurant. I only stopped at Nolan’s car, waiting for him since I didn’t have much of a choice.