Sizzling in Singapore (A Carnal Cuisine Novel) (12 page)

"It doesn't matter what I would have done. What matters is what you did. I'm sorry, but my life was busy and fulfilling before we met and I think it's time for me to get back to a comfort zone that I can live with. I'm sorry Nick."

"I really don't understand how you can be angry enough about this to just end it this way." Nick felt a tug of panic as he realized that he and Mae might really be over.

"We both know that it was over before it really started."

"I thought we were good together," Nick said sadly.

Mae softly laid a hand on his arm. "We were good together. Very good. But it was always going to end and now is as good a time as any. I don't need the drama and you need to move on." She rose from her chair and leaned over him to give him peck on his forehead.

The brush of her lips on his face was bitter sweet. He made no attempt to hide the misery he
was feeling. But if she noticed, she didn't say. She quietly shut the door and left him with his thoughts.

***

This time, tears came fast and hard. She allowed herself the luxury of having a good cry, sobbing into the pillow until her chest shook with the effort of it. Every so often she would stop, thinking she was all cried out, and then another image would intrude on her mind--a remembered touch, a recollected word, the vivid mind's-eye pictures of his smile--and the tears would begin anew.

She tried to find the place in their time together when she went over the line. When, she asked herself, did it cease to be casual and cross into consuming?
When, exactly, did I fall in love with this man?
She knew it had been before she actually thought the thought. But, somehow, it was important to Mae to figure out when the moment occurred that she felt that Nick was more than a passing, casual affair.

It was muddled so much by the fact that I jumped into the whole thing thinking he was something he wasn't. If he had been a guest and left in a day or two I would never have had the chance to see him in another light. I would have cherished the fond memory of an awesomely handsome stranger and the incredible pleasure we shared.

Was it that night when he came to Cess's apartment? That night was beautiful, but I think I was still not quite 'there' Was it the naughtiness in the kitchen? That could have been the beginning of the end. I felt so vulnerable and so trusting. He was so gentle, so careful. And the next day there was this lingering intimacy that spilled over when we walked in the Gardens.

The Gardens. They had stolen a few rare hours to explore the daylight together and Mae had suggested a walk in the Singapore Botanical Gardens as dawn approached. The early morning was a favorite time for locals to explore the renowned tropical gardens that were a source of national pride. The many winding paths provided lots of places for lovers to sit and chat tucked into the manicured tropical jungle with its exotic, rare plants. They had chosen a wide bench in a copse of feathery pines.

They sat in the early morning light watching the people hurrying through the maze of paths, taking hurried short cuts to their jobs. They sipped on tea purchased from a push-cart vendor on a stop to watch a group of old folks doing
tai chi
. Though the morning was no different from any other Singapore morning, somehow it felt a little fresher, just a hair cooler. And although the tea was piping hot it was ironically soothing and refreshing. Mae had explained to Nick how the locals believed that drinking ice-cold beverages in a warm climate actually made the heat feel stronger and that a warm drink was far better to cool the body.

Nick had purred in her ear that nothing--hot or icy cold--could cool his body at that moment. She was sitting across his lap and he was tracing the outline of her face with a finger, brushing away a tendril here or there. He drew his finger down her bare arm and the light touch stirred her nerve endings into high alert. He explored her knees, bare under her voluminous white cotton skirt.

"You should keep this tan. You're legs are the most delicious shade of gold." He touched the inside of one thigh as he worked up to where her legs met and then down the other thigh. Mae would always remember the tug she felt deep inside her abdomen when he got anywhere near her sex. He kissed and snuffled in the crook of her neck while his hand crept up her legs again and he began to tease her with his finger. He took her earlobe in his teeth and tugged at it while his warm breath tickled inside her ear. "You're a beautiful woman, Mae. I can't stop desiring you. Only hours ago I was spent and yet..."

His erection was hard under her recently taken ass. The recollection fueled her as he fondled and explored her sodden hole. She had purposely left off her panties knowing that there might be a moment like this. A family happened by and she nonchalantly smoothed her skirt over his wandering hand and smiled innocently at them as they passed.

"Nick, there are people all over this park!" But even as she protested she swung herself around to straddle him. Her skirt covered their laps in its gauzy folds and she wove her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips to his and pulled in a breath as she kissed him. Between his cock and her now swollen mound, the fabric of his jeans seemed to sizzle with their body heat.

A man on a bicycle passed and paid no attention. Lovers stole kisses in the gardens all the time.

Nick reached down to unzip himself and free the erection that threatened to burst through the fabric. Mae had looked nervously over her shoulder before she raised herself just enough to come back down with him inside her pussy. She rearranged the skirt chastely around their hips.

For some moments they didn't move at all. They simply looked into each other's eyes, savoring the intensity of an utterly private moment in a very public place. Occasionally she would squeeze his cock with her internal muscles and he would respond by using his to ever so slightly bounce himself inside her. They giggled a little. They gasped a little. They kissed some more. He put his hands at her hips and pressed her tighter to his groin as she drew tiny, almost imperceptible circles with her clit at the base of his erection.

Every so often passersby would come into his sight and he would draw his face away from hers and pretend to say something. She would mime a response. If anyone had paid them any mind, it would appear as if two lovers were engaged in an intimate conversation. And of course they were, only their bodies were doing most of the communicating.

The intensity of that moment had rocked Mae to her core. The brazenness of their unbridled desire playing out in the national garden was an experience unlike any other she had ever had. The fact that they couldn't really move nor vocalize their sensations forced them to communicate mostly with their eyes. They had locked upon each other's gaze and Mae felt that she was looking into the hazel depths and seeing into a secret place inside him.

And, because they were mostly clothed, all of the contact they did have was concentrated. Conjoined by lips, cock and pussy felt, at that moment, more naked than if they had been in bed without anything on.

When they came to their climax, it was deliciously unique. She felt her eyes widen and watched his do the same. They couldn't shout or groan or invoke God. They could only gaze at each other and share the silent knowledge of their consummation.

I think that was the defining moment when I realized I love this man. It just happened. I love what he does with my body. I love that he knows why I do what I do. I love that we share this spirit that shapes us. His goals and his dreams appeal to me in ways that surprise me.

God, I feel like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking.

***

Mae was not looking forward to work. Her eyes were puffy, her nose was red and she had a raging headache from all the crying the night before. She wanted to get back under the covers and sleep for days. But that, of course, was not her way. So she put some drops in her bleary eyes, splashed cold water on her swollen face and stoically dressed for battle.

All morning long she looked for Nick, watched for his arrival and wondered what, if anything they would have to say to one another. Every nerve on her body was on high alert and she went through the motions of her job zombie like. She must have done a pretty good job of it because no one, not even Tank remarked on her mood. Of course, it's easy to hide in the routine of a busy kitchen. Sauces are made, orders are placed, plates are garnished, meats are butchered and none of those tasks require much in the way of comment. By the time lunch service had ebbed into the silent pace of the afternoon prep Nick had still not arrived. Mae decided to buy herself a little more time out of his presence and told Tank she wasn't feeling well and would take the evening off. Ever responsible, she made sure that there were no events that night that absolutely required her to be on duty.

Fortunately, Cess was in town and was more than happy to lend a willing ear and ready shoulder when Mae needed it. They met for high tea in the luxurious lobby of the Finewood Park. The grand piano was tinkling away, as it usually did, sans musician. Mae always found the idea of a grand player piano a bit strange, but the music was soothing all the same.

High tea was a ritual that hung on long after the British had left the island nation to fend for itself. There were all of the traditional elements--cucumber sandwiches, scones with clotted cream, confections of every sort and an assortment of teas that Mae could never really comprehend. To her, tea was tea. But to Cess, it was the beverage of Valhalla.

"Civilization!" Cess studied the menu and chose Golden Monkey black tea for her 'cuppa' "Such a lovely tea. Smooth, rich and with a hint of cocoa. After that swill we offer on the plane, this will be heavenly."

Mae ordered the same because she really didn't care one way or the other. "I know my palate should be sophisticated enough to appreciate a good tea, Cess, but it all pretty much tastes the same to me. Besides, right now my senses are all dull as dirt. I'm so depressed that I feel like there's a gray mist fogging me and everything around me."

"Why must you take everything so hard, Love? You were having such a good time. Now you're wallowing in a funk."

"I guess I'm just not capable of a 'detached' affair. Something in me just dives in and goes for broke. I didn't mean for it to happen. I
willed
it not to happen."

"But happen it did and here we are. Again. Honestly, I really thought that you'd be able to be a bit more grown up about this thing. You knew..."

"Yes, dammit, I knew. I don't think it's very kind of you to chastise me at this point. There's the tea," she pointed to the pot, " Now how 'bout a little sympathy?"

"My dear Mae, I am sympathetic. But I'm also your friend. A friend who's willing to be full-on honest with you. The man can't help his situation, now can he? Did you expect him to sweep you into his arms and carry you to America to live happily ever after?"

"I don't know what I expected. It just seemed that we enjoyed one another so much. We have so much in common. I think it's almost worse to
like
him than it is to love him. And Cess?..."

"What?"

"I've never made love with a man like I did with Nick. It can't be my imagination that there was something different for him too."

"Poor dear you. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. But I can't. Time is the only thing. Sad to say because it's so trite, but you know that eventually you
will
get over him. You're lucky he's going to leave soon. At least you won't have to see him all the time."

"Somehow that doesn't sound all that great to me."

"Any word on when Kurt's coming back?"

"No, but it can't be soon enough for me. I dread having to face Nick. We managed to avoid one another today, but we won't be able to do that every day." Mae pressed her palms into her still throbbing temples. "You know, I read somewhere that it
is
possible to die of a broken heart."

"Oh my giddy aunt! Now you're just being melodramatic. You'll immerse yourself in that hell's kitchen you call a job and pretty soon, Bob's your uncle, you'll be just fine."

Mae had to laugh at that. Trust Cess to eke a chuckle out of her with her bizarre Britishisms. "Just who is this uncle Bob and is he the reason your aunt is so giddy?" It was an old joke between them, but it lightened Mae's mood. They sipped their tea in the comforting warmth of a friendship that had endured more than a few dark moments.

By the time they had devoured their scones with generous lashings of cream and jam, Mae felt a lot better. Cess's philosophical attitude about the mystery of men and women nudged Mae's despair into something a little easier to bear. Cess was far more worldly than Mae and her 'this too shall pass' council lifted Mae's spirits.

As they parted, Cess offered a last nugget of advice. "Now you've made the break, don't weaken. You know it will only make things worse. Keep your distance and don't let him get into your knickers again."

Mae gave her friend a big hug. "Thanks for the words of wisdom. I'll guard my 'knickers' I promise."

***

Nick
was
miserable. Miserable and very angry. Hurt, rejected, wounded and just plain pissed off. He slammed his fist into the desk, picked up a ledger and threw it across the room. He reached up to the shelf where Kurt kept his aged single malt and swigged several ounces of liquor straight from the bottle. Dinner service was just gearing up and it wasn't a good time to be drinking but what the hell. He'd come in late only after he had steeled himself to face her. But Mae had already left.