Skaia (49 page)

He responded to his father’s news that marriage prospects were being explored. Trestus and Bessus had received similar news from their families, and the young men had discussed the subject at length. All of them knew they would be expected to marry shortly after arriving home. In general they were accepting, even excited, at the possibilities.

Glaucus ended by sending his love, and an admission that he looked forward to returning. Sparta was to be their last destination before heading back.

Reading the letter over again, Glaucus decided it would suffice, and as he sealed it his thoughts drifted to home. The last letter from his father had been disturbing. Something was wrong, of that he was sure. But his father had only hinted, without imparting any exact information.

Glaucus thought of Skaia, and realized he no longer remembered exactly what his slave looked like. Oh, the words still danced in his mind; red hair, blue eyes, shapely legs. But the image was gone.

A noise at his side drew his attention. Nicea, bringing wine. Another little matter he’d neglected to mention to his father.

He and his friends had bought the youth at an auction in Thebes. All of them had grown increasingly tired of the mundane tasks associated with traveling from city to city, and had decided they could use the services of a slave. Although Glaucus thought he would have preferred to have Skaia in his bed, he knew he would have been unwilling to share him, as they did Nicea.

The Greek boy was lovely. Far lovelier even than he remembered Skaia being. And so well trained. Glaucus spread his legs, and the blond boy immediately knelt between them. His touch was subtle, yet provocative. And his mouth was wonderful, his sucking outstanding.

Glaucus looked up when his door opened and Trestus came in. He moved his hands quickly to hold the slave’s head in place, to let Nicea know he should not stop. Trestus noticed, and smiled.

“
I wondered where he was. Send him to me, when you’re done.”

Glaucus smiled in return. “It may take a while longer. But…
ah
… when I’m done.”

Slowly, life began to take on a certain new routine. Paulinus took at least some interest in his gardens. And Skaia spent most of his mornings with him. The plants that Lucius had chosen—indeed, all the plantings—flourished under his constant care and attention. Gotus turned out to be surprisingly adept at gardening too, and he worked hard, always seeming to be striving for some kind word from Paulinus. But the old master usually ignored him.

Though no one spoke of it, it was obvious to everyone that Paulinus was also in decline. His hands occasionally shook at meals, and he would sometimes spill his wine. His frustration with himself would lead to anger, and he lost his temper easily. Skaia was often the only one who could calm him on such occasions, and Thaddeus had the boy spend more and more time with his father.

Gotus was returned to the general slave quarters, although he would still help in the gardens during the day. Paulinus refused to have him at night, and Skaia’s first duty each morning was to check on Thaddeus’ father.

Perhaps because Thaddeus wished to spend more time with his father, or perhaps because he wished to see Skaia, the three of them spent much time together. As Thaddeus had promised, he found two bathhouses with warmer waters in the frigidarium. They catered to older people, of course, and Thaddeus never met his own friends there. But on some occasions, one of Paulinus’ old friends would be present. All in all, Thaddeus considered it little enough sacrifice to spend additional time with his father.

Skaia was always asked to assist with their baths, just as Lucius had been, and he got to use the bathhouse facilities as well. He soon found himself looking forward to the trips almost as much as Thaddeus.

Some months had passed since Lucius’ death when, one afternoon, as the three of them relaxed comfortably in the tepadarium, Paulinus asked Skaia what he would do if he were free. The boy was shocked—and then hopeful—that he was asked such a question, and he answered honestly. “I… I think I would like to go home, sir. To see what is left of my village.”

Thaddeus looked at him curiously. “You mean to Gaul? I doubt you could even find your way,” he added cynically.

Skaia blushed. “I do not know, sir, but I would like to try.”

“
Your home is a conquered land, Skaia,” Paulinus commented. “Everything you have known is destroyed. If your village was attacked, it was probably razed to the ground.”

Skaia resisted arguing only for a moment. “But, I have heard, sir, that the Romans allow much independence to their conquered people. That they require only allegiance… and that there is no threat to their rule.”

“
Gaul has required greater control,” Paulinus pointed out. “Their peoples are constantly revolting; they are held on a very tight leash.”

Deciding not to say anything else, Skaia simply lowered his head in submission. His answer to the question had obviously not met with either master’s approval.

And Thaddeus put an end to the discussion entirely when he spoke sternly. “Do not concern yourself about it, Skaia. You will not be freed.”
I certainly will not lose you that way.

Skaia glanced at Paulinus. He had thought the old master might have been hinting… But of course, it was not Paulinus’ decision to make. Thaddeus controlled his fate, as he always had. Skaia lowered his head again, and as Thaddeus and Paulinus began to talk of Caesar and Mark Anthony, he tuned them out entirely, his thoughts drifting to his first encounter with Thaddeus in the domus. Of being offered the opportunity to die.

Sometimes he thought of it still.

For the most part, his life had been good. Both Glaucus and Thaddeus had dealt with him… not fairly, no slave’s life was ever fair… but he knew he had been treated far better than most other slaves. There had been times of happiness, and times of hope. He usually knew what he’d been punished for, and so could avoid doing the same thing again afterwards.

Of course, that meant he’d become docile and submissive, careful not to offend. But that, in turn, meant he was offered privileges few others enjoyed. To be able to study and learn with Glaucus. And enjoy his duties in the gardens with Paulinus. To go to the baths, and see Rome. And… learning to enjoy sex with Thaddeus.

He blushed at the last thought, knowing that Thaddeus had become far more to him than just enjoyable sex. The man had become kinder in so many ways, had allowed him to see parts of his private side. And Skaia knew he had become fond of Thaddeus. More than fond… Separating from him would be very hard. Even if it was to return to Glaucus.

Oh, Glaucus… I wanted you.

As what… A friend? A lover
?
Now, he didn’t know what he wanted. He wondered if he could love two people at one time. More importantly—could a slave ever really love a master at all?

Paulinus was speaking to him again, and Skaia shifted his attention quickly. The old master wanted another drink of wine, and so Skaia carefully held the cup to his mouth. Satisfied, Paulinus then wanted his back massaged in the warm water, and Skaia moved behind him to comply. Only now, from this angle, he could see Thaddeus staring intently at him, and he dropped his gaze.

“
What were you thinking?”

“
Master?”

A low chuckle. “You know what I mean, Skaia. While my father and I were talking, you were obviously not listening to us. What was on your mind?”

“
Nothing, Master.”

Thaddeus’ humor quickly disappeared. “Don’t lie to me.”

“
I’m sorry, Master. I was thinking of nothing, sir.”
Still lying…

Paulinus spoke up. “Leave him be, Thaddeus. He’s massaging my back. You’re making him tense.”

Thaddeus frowned in Skaia’s direction. “Later.”

The boy felt a shiver of fear, and knew Thaddeus would not let this go.
I should have just listened to them
, he thought.
Rather than let my mind wander…

When they got home, they found that the gifts Glaucus had sent weeks earlier had finally arrived. Thaddeus was excited, but Paulinus only glanced at the pots, and said he wanted to go to bed before the evening meal.

Thaddeus sent Skaia to see to him, to make certain he was in bed and comfortable. “Then come to my chambers when you’re done. We still have things to discuss,” he instructed.

Skaia dallied as long as he dared with Paulinus. Cleaning his room, tidying his selection of games. The old master simply sat in his chair and watched. It wasn’t long though before he realized Skaia was delaying his return to his son. “You’re in trouble with Thaddeus again, aren’t you?” he asked.

“
Yes, Master. I think so,” Skaia answered, smiling slightly.

“
Tell him you were thinking of my death when we were in the bath.”

“
But… but I wasn’t,” Skaia gasped, shocked.

Paulinus smiled at the boy’s distress, knowing Skaia would miss him when he was gone. “I know. But it will make my son less angry than knowing you were thinking of Glaucus.”

“
How… how do you know that?” Skaia asked softly.

“
You used to get a look of hope on your face,” Paulinus replied, canting his head, apparently studying Skaia. “Lately though, you seem worried… What is it you worry about, child?”

Child…
Skaia supposed Paulinus still saw him that way. He dropped his gaze and tried to compose his answer. “That Master Glaucus will no longer want me, sir. And that, even if he does, Master Thaddeus will not give me back to him when he returns.” Skaia looked up, meeting Paulinus’ eyes. “And I’m not sure… I’m not sure what I want, sir.”

Paulinus was glad of that much. He looked at the young slave he’d allowed in his heart. He didn’t want to hurt the boy, but he felt compelled to protect his family. And Glaucus, being so obviously fond of a slave at his age, was completely unacceptable. For an older man, who had done his duty and produced heirs, like Thaddeus
,
such behavior would be tolerated, as long as it was not overly evident in public. But the same could not be said for a young man just beginning his public life as a Roman patrician.

Sighing heavily, Paulinus tried to explain things. “Glaucus cared for you, Skaia. Do not doubt that. But now, my grandson is past boyhood. And boys grow into men… men with responsibilities. I was Thaddeus’ age, before I was comfortable admitting that I truly cared for Lucius.”

The old man’s eyes misted over, and Skaia realized he still mourned.

“
And Thaddeus himself only came to care deeply for Thane after Crassus was born.”
And after Pornecia died…
“Young men must devote themselves to their families, and their republic.”