Skaia (75 page)

Skaia lowered his head again, and considered his master’s words. He understood what Glaucus said was true. And realized it had not occurred to him before that Glaucus might actually work with Senator Scipio.
I would truly be an embarrassment to him.
The urge to cry was back. “Master Thaddeus tried to tell me these things, sir. And I wouldn’t hear them. I’m very sorry. I have been a great fool.”

Glaucus rose and walked to Skaia, placing his hands on the slave’s shoulders. “You have been many things. But never a fool.” Skaia embraced him and leaned his head against Glaucus’ belly. “Believe me, Skaia, there is a part of me that wishes I could go back to what we were. But…” Glaucus disentangled himself and his voice hardened. He had to do this, as much for himself as for the slave. “It cannot be, Skaia. I am a man now. I have to take my place in society.”
And caring for a slave, no matter how intelligent and lovely, is not acceptable.

“
I understand, Master,” Skaia whispered. “May I have permission to go to my pallet, sir?”

Stepping back, Glaucus regretted that Skaia was hurt, but there was no help for it. Slaves had to deal with such things. And Skaia deserved at least to know the truth. “I will be kinder, Skaia. I promise. I will not blame you for what has been, or what must be.” He turned away. “I’ll probably do a little more reading. But, yes, you may go to bed.”

Skaia stood. “Yes, Master. Thank you, Master.” He turned and went to his pallet in the antechamber.
Thaddeus…
he thought,
I have been a fool.
To insist you release me to your son, when he doesn’t even want me. Paulinus told me, too.
Why did I doubt him?

He muffled his mouth in the pallet, as he had learned to do so long ago, and he cried, swearing to himself it would be the last time.

And thinking that this was one of Nicea’s
hard lessons…

Alone, Glaucus could not concentrate on his reading. His father’s words ran through his mind, amid troubled thoughts about his feelings for Skaia. He began to think he should be rid of the boy, for both their sakes. He wondered if his father would like him back. It would be better, for Skaia.

But, no, of course not. My father has Nicea now – the boy of unparalleled skills. A good slave
, Glaucus thought. He asked for nothing, expected nothing. Uncomplicated. Eager only to please.
Perhaps he would be better for me?

But everything was complicated now. Nicea was with his father and Skaia with him. And Glaucus could not bring himself to admit publicly that he had changed his mind, not after his adamant declarations that he wanted nothing else to do with Nicea. And his father had certainly used Nicea by now. Knew his skills.
Might not even consider an exchange.

Glaucus laughed at himself—wishing he could have Nicea’s services at this moment. To ease his body and his mind of all his tensions…

Thaddeus sat at his desk and watched Nicea. The boy was still nervous around him, but stood calmly enough. “Did you enjoy the day, Nicea?”

“
Yes, Master. You have been very kind.”

Thaddeus pushed out a bench with his foot. “Sit.” Nicea sat carefully, his hands folded in his lap. He had lowered his eyes again. “Look at me,” Thaddeus reminded him. When Nicea’s eyes met his, he asked, “Do you like my son?”

Nicea’s face reflected his surprise. He struggled not to look down. “Your son is a very good man, I think, sir.”

“
Yes, I think he is, too. But that doesn’t answer my question. Do you
like
him?”

“
I don’t know how to answer you, sir.” Nicea fought himself to keep his head high. “I was his slave. It is not for me to judge my masters, sir.”

A slave who has totally accepted his slavery
. Unlike Skaia. “So, you have no preference between me and my son?”

Oh, Gods.
Is he trying to trick me into saying something wrong?
“Do you require me to, sir?  I will do whatever you want.” Nicea knew how stupid he must sound, but his voice was even and calm.

I’ve frightened him.
Thaddeus only realized it when he saw Nicea’s eyelids flutter. “All I want is for you to be honest with me. I don’t mind one way or the other.”

“
Your son… Master Glaucus… he treated me well, sir. As did the other young masters. As do you. That is the most I have ever dared hope for, Master.”

Thaddeus sighed, but he thought Nicea was being truthful. He really didn’t care. But then, Thaddeus became determined to break through this hard shell Nicea had wrapped about himself. “Is there anything you
would
like?”

“
No, Master.” This time, Nicea did lower his eyes, realizing he was disappointing this man he so very much needed to please.

Thaddeus considered what he might suggest. “Do you like gardening?” he asked.

“
I have never gardened, sir. I know nothing about it.” Nicea looked up. “But I think the gardens at your home are beautiful, Master.”

Thaddeus smiled at the comment. “My father planned them. And Skaia has cared for them. He has extensive knowledge. He could teach you, if you’d like to learn.”
Especially if Glaucus continues to ignore him.

“
If you wish it, Master, I will learn.” Nicea had not lowered his head this time, but his face still carried no expression.

Thaddeus stood up and paced in frustration. “What do you know how to do?” he demanded. When he looked back, Nicea’s eyes were focused on the floor again.

“
I have been taught many things, sir. Mostly about pleasing a man in bed.” He hesitated. “I can read and write and count.” When Thaddeus made no comment, Nicea came close to panic. “I can cut hair, Master, and shave a man. And groom his hands and feet.”

Thaddeus shook his head. “This isn’t what I meant, Nicea.” He felt foolish, but ploughed on. “Is there anything you
enjoy
doing?”

I’m not unhappy with anything that pleases a master,
Nicea thought. But enjoy? And then memories came… happy memories from the most unlikely time. The huge Roman who had hurt him so badly when he was a child, and then… had given him a flute, and insisted that Nikos provide him lessons to learn to play it.
Oh, gods.
“Years ago, Master,” he said very tentatively, “I played a flute.”

“
A flute!” Thaddeus seized on the idea. “The house could use the sounds of music again. An illness took the slaves who could play years ago, and I never replaced them. In a few days, we can go to the forum and shop for a flute.”
Not a ring. Not an earring…

Nicea tried to smile. But the memory of having the flute turned into the memory of losing it. “It has been many years, Master,” he said softly. “I… I may not be good at it now.”

I don’t give a shit!
Thaddeus thought immediately. But he tempered his reply to Nicea. “You will have all the time you need to practice. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

“
Thank you, Master.”

Sitting again, Thaddeus looked at the slave’s bowed head. “Is there anything you would like to do tonight?”

“
No, Master.”

Thaddeus pondered briefly about asking Nicea if he wanted to play a game. But the slave would just agree, whether he wanted to or not. And, in truth, Thaddeus did not want to deal with him further. He wanted to read… More Socrates.
Gods, I miss Skaia. I wonder if he even thinks of me.
He shook his head as if that would somehow dislodge the unbidden thoughts. “You may go to bed, if you wish, Nicea.”

The boy lifted his eyes for just a moment. “Yes, Master. Thank you.”

Thaddeus waited until he was sure Nicea had time to lie down before he selected his scroll. In time, his eyes tired from reading in the candlelight. Sitting silently, he thought about how he used to ask Skaia to read aloud for him, and then how they discussed the concepts. In bed. Which had led to other things.

Handling himself, he realized he’d become aroused just thinking about Skaia. He sighed in frustration, but then remembered there was another body available. Just a short distance away.

Walking to his antechamber, he woke Nicea.

The next morning, when Thaddeus and Nicea walked to the outdoor dining table, they found Glaucus already there. As was becoming usual, Skaia was not in attendance. Nicea moved to join Gotus at the small serving table, and Thaddeus sat in the chair closest to his son. “Are you ready for the party tonight?”

Glaucus frowned. “I’m still having problems with the new toga. It’s too big. Skaia tried and tried to make up for the extra length. I finally sent for Castor, and he has assured me it will be hemmed by lunchtime. You’re sure yours fit well, aren’t you?”

Thaddeus nodded. “Though I’m hardly looking forward to wearing it.”
Yet another reason not to seek a Senate seat.
“Your grandfather handled them very well, but I still feel like they are the most outrageous piece of clothing ever invented.” When Glaucus did not seem so amused, Thaddeus thought of his son’s chosen position. Emissary for the Senate
.
“Forgive me—I forgot you will be wearing them constantly.”

“
They’re not that bad, Father. All of us wore them a few times in Greece. Admittedly, it was easier after we bought Nicea, but we all got dressed without him, too. Just took a bit longer.”

“
Do you want help tonight?”

Glaucus smiled and shook his head. “I don’t think so. Skaia did fairly well this morning. I’m sure we’ll be fine when the length is right.”

“
I never wore one while you were gone. So, I suppose this is the first time Skaia has actually fitted one.”

“
Not exactly,” Glaucus laughed. “We wore sheets as children. Skaia and I used to pretend we were senators, giving speeches in the forum. It was always an enjoyable game—though our speeches were often quite outrageous.”