Skinny Bitch Gets Hitched (34 page)

T
he weather gods cooperated for my wedding. Sunny, breezy, seventy-one perfect Southern California degrees. The barn, where Clementine's No Crap Outpost would open in three months with my father at the helm, had been decorated with at least a hundred paper lanterns. I had to admit, my wedding planner had done a hell of a job. The farm looked like a farm. Even old my parents' dogs were running around, just as they should have been.

My matron of honor, my sister, Elizabeth, bridesmaid Sara, and bridesguy Ty, who'd flown back from Paris for my wedding, were making a fuss over me in my old bedroom, making moony “awww” faces at my reflection in the mirror. I fluffed my veil, which had been my mother's, and made sure Jocelyn's good-luck diamond earrings were in tight, then took a last look
at myself in my dress, which I'd finally found after months of saying no to everything Dominique forced me to look at in her own fashion shows and bridal salons and wedding magazines.

I'd found it in her own closet, which was a spare bedroom in her house. She'd sent me in there to pick out “my favorite of her gowns” for her to wear for the engagement party she threw me and Zach last summer. In the back, in a see-through garment bag, was the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen. For her first wedding, Dominique had fallen madly in love with a gorgeous 1920s, flapper-style gown from a vintage shop, something Katharine Hepburn would have worn, with clean lines and a lace overlay. Dominique's mother-in-law had told her it wasn't Jeffries material and foisted a “suitable” $10,000 monstrosity with such heaving beading that Dominique had almost fainted during the reception. She'd never had the chance to wear the 1920s gown and had forgotten all about it—a dress that had symbolized who she'd once been, who she felt she wasn't anymore.

“This is my wedding dress,” I'd told her. You should have seen her trying to hold back tears. Priceless.

“And you're still that woman who loved this gown,” I'd added when I'd tried it on. It had barely needed altering.

Dominique Jeffries Huffington, even less a crier than I was, burst into tears and hugged me.

As I stepped out of the house, holding on to my father's arm on one side and my mother's on the other, I glanced out at the meadow, where a stage was set up, covered by a filmy,
white canopy that swayed a bit in the breeze. Rows and rows of white chairs, linked by ivy, were arranged behind it, and they were filled with friends and family and business acquaintances, even some of my own.

Alanna and Gunnar, newly engaged, were in one of the middle rows, Gunnar's daughter, Violet, sitting between them. Keira, a California Institute of Culinary Arts graduate, was heading to Le Cordon Blue in Paris in the fall. The trusty McMann twins, Evan and Everett, long promoted to sauté and grill, each brought a date, one of whom was my new trainee, a serious twenty-one-year-old named Juliet. Alexander and his own carnivore, with whom he'd gotten quite serious, waved at me, and I shot him a smile. In the first row with her husband, a handkerchief at the ready, was my wonderful Jocelyn.

Not that I needed to say so, but there'd be no bouquet tossing at this shindig.

As I walked down the aisle to Zach, my once-zipped-up heart about to burst with total happiness, I saw Dominique and Cornelius embrace, stunning everyone. With the first of their children to marry, it was time to let bygones be crappy bygones. Shit, yeah, it was.

And then there I was, walking up the two steps to Zach, with an expression on his face I'd never before seen. A combination of pure love, joy, hope, happiness, wonder. Charlie was sitting by the side of the stage, wearing a little black bow tie around his neck.

This Skinny Bitch was getting hitched.

There are many people to thank who helped in the making of this book. For those I didn't name who had a hand in it, thank you! First and foremost, a huge thank you to Melissa Senate, you are so talented and easygoing. I'm so grateful to have worked with you. Laura Dail, thank you for all you do for me. A big thanks to everyone at Simon and Schuster for making this book possible, especially Karen Kosztolnyik, Louise Burke, Jen Bergstrom, Alexandra Lewis, Liz Psaltis, Ellen Chan, Kristin Dwyer, Stephanie DeLuca, Natalie Ebel, Sarah Lieberman, and Diana Peng. I am beyond grateful to be working with such an amazing team.

Thank you, as always, to my family for their love and support. And thank you to my friends who are always there for me. And thank you Jack for being such a great kid.

ALSO BY KIM BARNOUIN

Skinny Bitch in Love

Skinny Bitch

Skinny Bitch in the Kitch

Skinny Bastard

Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven

Skinny Bitchin'

Skinny Bitch: Ultimate Everyday Cookbook

Skinny Bitch: Home, Beauty & Style

Skinny Bitch Book of Vegan Swaps

Gallery Books

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2014 by Kim Barnouin

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books hardcover edition May 2014

GALLERY BOOKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
www.simonspeakers.com
.

Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Cover design by Regina Starace

Jacket photograph © StockFood/ISTL

Author photograph © Matt Armendariz

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Barnouin, Kim.

Skinny bitch gets hitched / by Kim Barnouin.—First Gallery Books hardcover edition.

pages cm

1. Women cooks—Fiction. 2. Vegan cooking—Fiction. 3. Restaurateurs—Fiction. 4. Weddings—Fiction. 5. Santa Monica (Calif.)—Fiction. I. Title.

PS3602.A77714S54 2014

813'.6—dc

232013032577

ISBN 978-1-4767-0888-1

ISBN 978-1-4767-0893-5 (ebook)