Slave to Sensation (40 page)

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Authors: Nalini Singh

BOOK: Slave to Sensation
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That night, she asked him to change for her. Without a word, he stripped off his clothing and the world turned into a multicolored shimmer. It was so beautiful, she felt her heart stop. She blinked and when she opened her eyes, a huge hunting cat lay on the bed beside her.
Despite the fact that she knew this was Lucas, she was a little scared. But not enough to miss the chance. Holding her breath, she ran her fingers through his silky black fur. There was nothing she could compare the sensation to. Bonded as they were, she'd felt him run, felt his joy in the wind and the forests, felt the panther just . . . be. But never had she touched the animal in him so intimately.
When he made a sound that was incredibly close to a purr, she started to laugh. “You like being petted whether you're in human or panther form.”
The panther snapped his teeth at her and, under her hands, light shimmered. Heart in her throat, she remained perfectly immobile until Lucas lay naked beside her, the exotic tattoo on his upper arm a reminder of the wildness within. “Wow.”
“Of course. I'm the most beautiful creature you've ever seen.” A smug smile.
Laughing, she let him tease her, let him teach her how to grasp the moment, how to love without fear or guilt, how to just
be
.
 
 
“Something's wrong,” she said to him a month later.
He put his hand on her breast under the sheet and threw one leg over hers. “What?” His voice was a purr in the darkness.
Already, her body was heating up for his. “I've never felt better. You're the same. Every single physical symptom I had is gone and I don't think they're going to reappear.”
“That's a problem?” His amusement was obvious. On her breast, his hand moved in easy circles.
She let her senses surrender, melting for him. “I'm serious. You shouldn't be able to keep my mind . . . fed, and function so well yourself.”
He stopped caressing her and slid his hand down to her ribs. She knew he'd heard the seriousness in her tone. “Do you think it's the calm before the storm?”
“No. It should be a gradual drain.” She stared up at the ceiling, where leaves crawled across the space. Lucas had no problem with the forest taking over his home and she was starting to accept it, too, though she did get the occasional urge to make everything spotless. “Will you mind if I go searching in our minds?” It was the first time she'd asked for that since that initial moment of utter unity.
“You know everything there is to know, kitten.”
“I'm not sorry Tammy told me,” she said, mutinous. They'd finally talked about his family several days ago and she'd held her Hunter as he remembered. Those wounds were scars but not the kind that twisted—his scars had a place on his soul. They were a marker of those he'd lost.
He growled against her neck and rubbed the stubble of his beard on her sensitive skin. “I didn't think so. The two of you are too damn close.” There was no anger in him. “Search.”
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and unconsciously shifted her body until she was almost covered by him. Body and mind in tune. When she opened her mind's eye on the psychic level and peeked out, she didn't see the starry plane she was used to. Nor did she see empty darkness. Instead, she saw a web. At the center of the web was Lucas's light, so bright it was like a cardinal's but somehow more pure, more intense, hot instead of cold.
His light was being showered upon by rainbow-colored sparks and she knew that was her. She wanted to smile. She was doing what she'd always said she would if set free—infecting everyone around her. However, she now understood that the rainbow sparks healed. It was their lack in the PsyNet that had turned the Psy so cruel, so unable to see right from wrong.
Every part of the web glimmered with color.
Web.
“How can there be a web with only two?” she said out loud.
Lucas nuzzled her neck and ran his hands down her body, keeping her anchored with nothing but touch. She stroked her own hands down the heated silk of his back as she followed the strands of the web.
At the end of one filament blazed a light somehow feminine in feel, and yet, it also held hints of martial strength. At the end of another two were solid masculine stars, brilliant enough to burn.
One of those masculine stars had another strand of the web tracing out from it. At the end of
that
was a gentle, beautiful flame that spoke of purest love. Amazingly, that light had two small glowing beacons tracing from it. The strands from those two linked back to the male star.
Another strand led from Lucas to a light that was bruised and battered, but slowly being healed by the rainbows that crept in when the mind wasn't looking. And the last light, it was somehow unique, golden and wild, pure like Lucas's but tantalizingly different.
“You're connected to five others,” she whispered.
“Of course,” he muttered against her neck. “The sentinels take a blood oath.”
Shock had her eyes snapping wide open. Mercy, a soldier female. Clay and Nate, pure strength. It was Nate's line that was joined by another's—Tamsyn, his mate. Dorian, broken but healing. Vaughn, jaguar not leopard. She searched more carefully for her own cardinal star.
There she was, enclosed
within
Lucas's light, the rainbow showers bursting through him to the outside. It didn't hurt him. In fact, it seemed to make him stronger, as if she were repairing the tiniest of fissures. It didn't mean he didn't feel negative emotions, only that he was able to see past them.
“Lucas,” she said, pushing at his shoulders until he got up and looked down at her with those hunting-cat eyes.
“What's wrong?” His body tensed.
“Nothing,” she whispered, starting to shudder. “Nothing. Everything's perfect!”
“Kitten, you're scaring me.” He leaned down to kiss her.
“What did you see?”
“You're part of a network, Lucas. The feedback you give me is bolstered by the sentinels and Tamsyn.”
He thought for a moment. “The blood oath links the sentinels to me on a psychic level?”
“Somehow,” Sascha said. “I don't understand how—nobody has ever seen this before—the Psy don't know changelings can link this way.” Part of her wanted to share the exciting discovery, but a bigger part of her wanted to keep it secret, a weapon unlike any other. “You didn't know?”
“No. I knew the sentinels gave me their loyalty but we're not Psy.”
“You have Psy potential. Everyone does. Don't forget— we all started with the same basic material.” She frowned. “Sienna Lauren was right.”
“Why is Tamsyn in the net?” Lucas asked, and then answered his own question. “She's linked to Nate through the mating bond. The cubs?”
“They're there, too.”
“Why aren't parents and siblings?”
“I'm guessing but I'd say that parents aren't because those are bonds we break as we grow older. We love but we're no longer as intertwined. The cubs will likely drop out as they age.” She frowned. “Maybe sibling bonds aren't strong enough? From what I see, it's only mating bonds and the blood oath that work.”
“I can understand that. Mating is psychic on some level. The blood oath—well, I guess there's a reason it's been passed down through the centuries.”
She looked again at the web and her hands clenched on Lucas's biceps. “The Laurens were wrong on one point.”
“What?”
“This is amazing! Though I'm the solitary Psy, there
is
a multiplication effect. Our web is bursting with energy.” She couldn't work out how but now she had a lifetime to figure it out.
They were both quiet for a long while.
“Sascha, what does this mean?”
“We're safe,” she whispered, barely believing it. “Seven adult minds are feeding the web . . . giving me what I need. It's more than enough.”
Lucas clasped her to his chest, rolling over on his back. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She kissed his chest, his neck, his chin. “Yes! Thank you for being so damn stubborn.”
He didn't return the caresses, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe. “You almost killed yourself for no reason.”
“No, Lucas.” She squeezed him back. “I lived because of you. That's how I'll always remember it.”
“It's going to take me a long time to forgive you.”
Sascha wanted to cry in joy. “We've got forever.”
EPILOGUE
They held a meeting of the sentinels and Tamsyn later that week. The leopards were sprawled around the living room of their lair, some seated, some standing.
“So you can come into our minds?” Mercy asked.
“Only if you let me. I'd never walk in uninvited—I can't.” Sascha knew she was talking to the most independent members of DarkRiver. They would hate to be vulnerable on any level.
“But I know you're doing something to me,” Dorian said quietly. “I wondered what it was. It feels like before . . . when I wanted to go for your throat.”
“I'm sorry, Dorian. That's not something I can help.”
Amazingly, the sentinel gave her a slow smile. “I can handle being kissed by you.”
She wanted to blush. “It's not like that.”
“A hug, then.” He shrugged. “It feels good.”
The others frowned. Clay said, “I don't feel any different.” Sascha wondered how to say this but Dorian beat her to it. “Because you don't need patching up, Clay. Right, Sascha?”
She sighed. “I think you're a menace but yes, Dorian's a little bit more battered than the rest of you. Once he's up and running, my empathic gifts won't really affect him, like they don't really do anything to you.” The sparks healed, but on the most subconscious of levels. Dorian was only feeling them because he was so hurt.
Lucas squeezed her shoulders as she stood in front of him by the short hallway that led to the kitchen area. “We're giving you a choice. Sascha says she can cut some of you free from the web without doing damage.”
“Tell me, Sascha,” Tamsyn said, “is it easy to slip in and out of our minds?”
“No. Every mind has a natural shield. On the PsyNet, the only open minds belonged to the exhibitionists. All of you are shut up tight. To go in without your consent, I'd have to rip you apart.”
“And kill us.” Vaughn's eyes were almost glowing.
“Yes.” She wouldn't lie to them, wouldn't tell them they weren't vulnerable to her. “Remember, I'm an empath. Causing you pain would double back on me.”
“When I took the blood oath,” Vaughn said, “I vowed to lay my life down for Lucas. As his mate, you have that same promise.”
She'd expected the loner, the jaguar, to balk. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Sascha darling.” He prowled over to stand in front of her, tall and beautiful and dangerous. She gasped as he brushed his lips over hers. “My life is yours.” Then he was gone, a golden blur as he leaped off the porch.
Shaken by the commitment, Sascha leaned backward into Lucas. Her eyes followed Dorian as he stood and walked over.
“I've been yours since the day you first took my pain.” Dorian picked up her hand and kissed her fingertips, before leaving the same way as Vaughn.
Mercy uncurled from her cushion and came to stand in front of Sascha. Her stunning face was serious but there was a smile in her eyes. “Think you could find out some male secrets for me?”
Sascha smiled. “The only male I know that intimately is this one.” She turned to steal a kiss from Lucas. “And his secrets are mine.”
Laughing, Mercy hugged her. “I'm a sentinel. I vowed to stick by Lucas to death. If he trusts you, so do I. I'll see you later—I'm going to catch up with Dorian.”
Clay, the most distant sentinel, the one who never touched her, was the one Sascha had feared most would choose to be cut from the web. She didn't know what effect it would have on him, and had discussed it with Lucas. They'd decided to wait for the decisions before borrowing trouble.
Now the dark-skinned man came to stand in front of her. “My mind is not someplace you want to be,” he said quietly.
She felt his coolness, felt his control, wondered what lay behind it. “I'll only come in if I'm invited.”
He touched her cheek and she knew he'd accepted. Moments later, he was gone. Nate and Tamsyn were the only ones left. The healer was grinning. “You know I'll never say no, and Nate's so dedicated, I think he loves our alpha more than me.”
“I resent that,” Nate grumbled. “I might love football more than you, but definitely not Lucas's ugly mug.”
Sascha laughed at their joking, fully aware they were crazy for each other. The web spoke for itself. It was bursting with light, with rainbows, with love. “The Web of Stars,” she whispered.
“Is that what it looks like?” Lucas's voice was a rough purr in her ear.
“Yes.” The starry plane of the PsyNet was barren compared to the Web of Stars, a cacophony of color and emotion, a web created not by need alone but by choice. Choices of loyalty, choices of love, choices of emotion. “I've got so much to learn.” Her powers were growing, changing,
becoming.
“We have a lifetime.”
Turning, she wrapped her arms around him and threw back her head as he picked her up to spin her around. Her laughter sparkled along the Web of Stars, flickering joy that affected every mind within it. It was small and barely aware, but at that moment, the Web was far, far stronger than the PsyNet could ever hope to be.

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