Sleep Keeper (23 page)

“I came home from helping my father at the shop one evening. Coming home to her was the highlight of my day. I walked throughout the house looking for her. When I entered the bedroom, I saw them…” he let out a soft breath of air and closed his eyes from the painful memory.

“She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her lips on another man, Clay. He was my best friend. When they saw me, Clay jumped to his feet to explain, but there was no point. I know what I saw. My wife and best friend had betrayed me. It felt like a ton of bricks fell onto my heart. Raina just sat there with her mouth open. She didn’t even try to explain. She probably knew it wouldn’t make a difference. I couldn’t stand to look at them another second. I had to get out of there.

“I turned to leave but Clay grabbed my arm. I didn’t plan on hurting him, but when he touched me - after touching my wife - I lost it. I was blinded with rage. I’m not sure how many times I hit him. Raina was screaming for me to stop. I threw Clay against the wall but he lost his balance. He fell back and knocked over Raina. I ran out of there before I did something else I would regret. I should have stopped… but I just ran, trashing whatever I could see on the way out. I ran into the forest to be alone.

“Not long later, I saw dark smoke gathering in the sky. I came back to find my house on fire. I circled the house calling her name, but there was no answer. I tried to run inside but the firemen pulled me back and held me down. I begged them to let me go, but they knew it was too late,” he said, as steady streams of tears rolled down his stubble face.

I paused, “Was… she…”

He nodded once and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands.

“Raina had something cooking in the kitchen. I can now recall the aroma that lingered when I entered the house. When I ran out, I didn’t realize I knocked a dishrag onto the burning stove. Raina must have hit her head and both were probably knocked out cold when the fire began. My parents saw the flames from a few houses down and tried to get them out. Clay awoke in the commotion and crawled out. He
claims
that the smoke was too thick to see anything and that he didn’t know Raina hadn’t made it out.”

“Oh Leyland, I’m sorry,” I cried and put my arms around him.

“They died at my hands. My parents and my wife; my whole world was gone. It should have been me,” he cried.

“It was an accident. You didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” I whispered as I tried to comfort him.

“Regardless of the intent, their blood will forever be stained on my hands.”

His story brought back waves of guilt I had hidden away from Mitchell’s death. How could I convince him that he was not to blame, when I felt the same way? He had been living with this burden for six years; nothing I could say would ease the pain. I decided not to try, and let him cry on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch her!”

In a quick blur, Leyland was knocked out of my arms and flung across the ground. Orion swooped to the ground, pulled out a knife and held it to Leyland’s throat. His face smoldered with rage.

“Orion, No!” I yelled.

I fell to my knees by Leyland’s side and grabbed Orion’s wrist. The movement of my hand caused the knife to graze Leyland’s neck; droplets of blood oozed from the cut. Leyland seemed unaffected and lay motionless on the ground with his hand plastered to his sides. Orion looked crazed; his breathing was rapid and the muscles in his neck and shoulders bulged with anger. He locked his fiery eyes onto mine and then instantly relaxed his hand.

“He wasn’t hurting me,” I explained and loosened my grip.

Orion glared down at Leyland for affirmation.

“I’m sorry, Orion. Please forgive me,” he begged.

Orion climbed off Leyland and rose to his feet. He pulled me up beside him then extended his hand to Leyland, who graciously took a hold.

“Glad to see you’re back,” Orion said with a nod.

I could see the relief slip off of Leyland’s shoulders. He grabbed Orion in a bear hug.

“Oh… okay,” Orion responded timidly and patted Leyland’s shoulder.

“Oh man, I’m sorry for what I did. I wish I could explain it,” he tried to apologize.

“Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have lost you in the first place,” Orion interrupted. “How did you escape Erebus?”

“I don’t know. After your girl here took me down,” Leyland pointed in my direction.

Orion smiled with pride and I bashfully grinned back.

“I heard screaming but couldn’t get up. Erebus was furious… rambled something about your death. Then he disappeared… leaving me behind. Once he was gone, I felt like my old self again,” he explained.

I turned to Orion, “Maybe if he thinks you’re dead, he will finally leave us alone,” I thrilled.

“I wouldn’t count on that, my love. He’ll find out soon enough that I’m alive - especially when I hunt him down.” Orion held a malicious gaze that made me feel uneasy.

“When
we
hunt him down,” Leyland corrected.

Orion’s mouth slightly turned in delight. He had his fighting companion back by his side. I wish I could say I was surprised that Orion would not give up on his quest to destroy Erebus, but I knew it was right thing to do… even if my selfishness was over-clouding my righteousness. I wanted us to run away and hide, but I was also tired of the anxiety I endured every time I left Orion, wondering if it would be the last time I would see him. My heart ached just thinking about it.

“Leyland, you’re welcome to stay with me, if you wish. I’m using a friend’s cabin,” he offered as he pointed to the cabin nearby.

“That would be great,” Leyland said, and we made our way to the cabin.

I contemplated telling Orion about Jeremy. I didn’t want him to worry about me the way I worried every second about him. Jeremy tried to hurt me once, although I doubted he was still a threat. On the other hand, should I really start keeping things from Orion?

“Leyland, go ahead and make yourself at home. We’ll be there in a few minutes,” Orion insisted as he pointed to the cabin.

He waited for Leyland to leave. “What’s wrong?” he probed.

“Um, what do you mean?”

He raised an eyebrow in a look that said ‘don’t play stupid with me’. “You have your little pout and are biting your lip, which usually means something is bothering you.”

Either he was observant or I was a little too obvious. “It’s nothing really - Jeremy’s out of jail and came by today.”

“What did he do? Did he hurt you?” he rushed.

His concerned tone pleased me.

“No, no, nothing like that. I made them leave soon after they arrived…
My mom
brought him,” I explained with a roll of my eyes.

“Still… I don’t like it. He seems unstable,” he frowned.

Definitely unstable. I was beginning to wonder if Erebus played a hand in Jeremy’s attack.

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle him,” I said with a wink and planted a kiss on his lips. The distraction worked as planned and he dismissed the topic, for now.

The following weeks flew by like a dream and before I knew it. With Erebus’ disappearance, the dream world was quickly revived. The smoke completely dissipated, leaving the fresh aroma I fell in love with. The ample life forces flowed through the forest once again. Orion returned to teaching and Leyland began work at the town’s store, but they never stopped searching for a way to find and destroying Erebus. So far, none of the plans conjured were ideal; each marked with unwarranted risk and potential failure.

I tried to stay mad at Mom as long as possible but that soon failed. Thanksgiving came and I couldn’t let her to spend it alone. She invited me over for dinner, minus Jeremy of course, and I grudgingly accepted. Thankfully, I have not seen Jeremy since my surprise visit. I continued to drag myself through the tiring days like a drone and crawl in bed early each night, where my real life awaited.

One cold night, I awoke from the sounds of the howling wind scraping tree branches across my window. I really needed to do something about that tree. I glanced at the clock, 2 A.M. I tried to fall back asleep, but my stomach growled painfully. I rolled over and tried to ignore its demands, but finally gave in and crawled out of bed. Exhaustion was my routine again, but this time it was mixed with a queasiness that I couldn’t seem to kick. I shuffled into the kitchen for a snack. Achiness throbbed throughout my breasts. I wondered if it was close to that time of the month, although this was much sorer than I had experienced with menstruation. I had been so preoccupied lately that I couldn’t remember when my last period was. Luckily I had gotten myself in the habit of circling it on my calendar after a scare last year.

I hurried into the kitchen and peered down at my calendar. I was more than a week into December yet the calendar was still flipped to September with a circle around the 21
st
. I reached over, flipped the page to October, and found no marks. I flipped forward to November… nothing. I flipped back to September.

I thought hard to remember my last period, but I couldn’t. Too much emotion and too little sleep over the last few months clouded my memory. I knew I had one in September, so I focused on October. It would have been due around October 19
th
. I looked at the blank calendar of October. My stomach sunk when I thought about that month… Mitchell died on October 4
th
and I spent the next few weeks in a fog. I shunned the memory away and moved on to November. I thought about the past month I spent with Orion… I still didn’t recall my cycle.

Oh God… this is not good.

I lifted my shirt and ran my hands across my belly. It did feel slightly firmer and my hips were pudgier, but I chalked that up to my increased appetite and lack of exercise since my depression stint two months back. Was it actually possible that I was three months pregnant and not realized it? I pictured one of those headline stories: ‘girl gives birth in a restaurant bathroom and didn’t know she was pregnant’.

I quickly dressed and rushed to the twenty-four hour drugstore for a pregnancy test. When I arrived back home, I couldn’t tear open the box and pee on the stick fast enough. I set the soiled stick on the counter and paced anxiously around the room, staring at the clock. Two minutes ticked by, one-hundred-and-twenty slow and agonizing seconds. When the big hand finally reached the two-minute mark, I leaned over the counter and peered down. It took my brain several blinks to process the pink ‘pregnant’ word displayed on the reader.

It had to be wrong. I grabbed the box and read the back, ‘Positive readings are 99% accurate’. My chest felt heavy and the room began to spin. I lower myself to the bathroom floor and tucked my knees against my chest.

Please tell me this isn’t happening!

Even after death, Mitchell was casting down punishment. I would forever be reminded of my betrayal as I stare each day into the eyes of his child - stuck in my own nightmare. I spent the next hour crying on the bathroom floor, until I rocked myself back to sleep.

I opened my eyes to the cabin’s living room. Leyland was sprawled out on a chestnut recliner, reading a book. The rest of the tiny room was empty except for a striped brown couch pushed against the bare hunter green walls. I took a step; Leyland’s head snapped forward when the floorboard creaked.

“Oh, hi Alexis. I didn’t hear you come in,” he said, as he relaxed back in his chair.

I didn’t reply as I looked around the room.

“Orion’s out back,” he answered.

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

I remained still. I was relieved that Orion wasn’t around. I wasn’t sure how to break the news to him. I probably shouldn’t put it off… this wasn’t the kind of secret one should hide. It was better to rip the Band-Aid off immediately and deal with the pain, than to let it sit and fester with the infectious puss of deception. I glanced up to find that Leyland has lowered his book into his lap and was staring at me.

“Something the matter?” he questioned.

“Um, no, I’m fine,” I murmured in a shaky voice.

He nodded and lifted up his book again.

Orion would no doubt be devastated to know I was carrying another man’s child. I was sure he would break it off with me, but in this nightmare I called my life, I would have no choice but to continuously haunt him… showing up at his doorstep unwillingly every time I fell asleep… both of us stuck in a repetitious groundhog’s day… constantly reminded of Mitchell every day my stomach grew bigger… reminded of my betrayal that led to his death. I killed him! I killed my child’s father!

My eyes welted with tears and my lip quivered as I tried so hard to keep it together. I took deep breaths of air to calm myself down.

Don’t cry! Don’t cry!

A flood of sorrow poured over my heart as I tried to think of the words that would crush Orion. My emotions were too strong to hold back as the tears flowed down my cheeks. Soft cries escaped my mouth and I closed my eyes in anguish.

“Whoa,” Leyland jumped up and stood before me. “What’s wrong?” 

He placed his hands on my shoulders and dipped his head down to my level. His voice was marked with kindness and his touch was unexpectedly tender. With my arms wrapped around my stomach, I leaned in, falling into his chest, and sobbed. He put his arms around me.