Sleep Peacefully (13 page)

I
hold the piece of paper in my hand, and enter the address Kate had written on
it into my Sat Nav. I’m sitting in the car outside of Josh’s school where I’ve
just dropped him off. I know roughly where the area that the airline tickets
had been sent to is, but don’t have the confidence to choose the right route to
get me there without assistance. I tap my fingers nervously on the dashboard as
the device searches for the address, and it soon brings up the details for me
to accept. I press a green button and the address details flash up, along with
a map and timescales. It says it will only take me forty minutes to get there.
I start the ignition and begin to follow the instructions that the computerised
voice gives me.
God, I hope I’m doing the right thing.

I
drive for roughly half an hour before the Sat Nav tells me my location is
approaching. I make the right turn onto a new looking estate. The houses all
look small, but neat and tidy in their identical rows. I soon approach a sign
on a corner of the street that I need to be on, and turn onto it, looking for
number sixty-two. I count down the figures until I suddenly spot it, on the end
of a row of terraced houses.

As
I pull up, I can see that the front garden is neat and tidy. A few children’s
toys litter its corners and there is a white four by four parked on the drive,
which is good. Hopefully someone’s home. Was this where Adam was living? There
had to be some sort of link if Jess had the airline tickets sent here. I get
out of the car and hope that this wasn’t a fool’s journey and a waste of my
time.

I
approach the front door and gingerly press on the doorbell. I move back off the
porch step as I see someone coming down the hallway, through the frosted glass
panes in the centre of the door. A dog barks loudly and I hear the muffled
sound of a woman shouting at it to be quiet.

A
petite woman opens the door. She holds a blue tea towel in one hand and has the
other behind her back, trying to keep a lively black and white border collie
from escaping through the open door. She steps outside onto the porch to join
me and closes the door behind her.

“Sorry,”
she says, nodding toward the dog, then looking back at me. “He gets a little
excited when people come to the door.” Her accent is Australian, so I have an
inkling that I have the right house. Steph had said that the man Jess was with
that night in the restaurant had been Australian; surely that’s not a
coincidence.

I
look behind her to see the dog’s face pressed against the glass in the door,
curious to see who their visitor is, and I smile.

“How
can I help you?” the woman asks politely, looking around as if to see if I am
with anyone else, then downwards at my empty hands. She probably presumes that
I’m going to try and sell her something and is searching for my pen and
clipboard.

The
woman looks around her early forties, and has wild red hair tied in a messy
knot on top of her head. Her skin is fair, covered with a smattering of light
freckles, and her eyes are bright green. She’s pretty, in an unconventional
sort of way.

“I
was wondering if you know a man named Adam Walker?” I ask quietly, getting
straight to the point, crossing my fingers at my sides, hoping that she’s heard
of him.

“Yes,
Adam’s my brother,” she answers instantly, eyeing me suspiciously. “He lives in
Australia, why do you want him?”

I
hadn’t rehearsed what I was going to say, so blurt out the first thing that
comes into my mind. “My sister... um Jess, she died recently and...”

I
feel relieved when the woman cuts me off mid-sentence, stopping my useless
babbling.

“Oh
goodness,” she says. “I knew your face looked familiar, God, you’re the double
of your sister.” She puts her hand up to her mouth. It’s not the first time I’d
seen someone taken aback at how much Jess and I look like one another, so her
reaction doesn’t startle me. She continues, talking quickly.

“I
was so sorry to hear about Jess. I read about her death in the local newspaper
a few days after the accident happened. It was tragic.”

She
opens the door, pushing past the dog that has now calmed down, and motions for
me to come in. I enter the house and stand uncomfortably in the hallway,
shifting my weight from foot to foot and fiddling with the chained strap of my
handbag.

The
woman puts the tea towel she was holding onto the radiator next to me then closes
the door. She holds out a hand. “I’m Sarah, please, come on through.”

I
shake her hand gently. “Nat,” I reply as she turns and moves through an open
door at the bottom of the hallway. I follow her through into the living room,
tastefully dressed with lilac and silver Christmas decorations. A large
matching tree stands in the window and the strong smell of its pine needles
fills the room. I take a seat on the brown leather sofa, and squeeze my hands
together tightly as they rest on my knee, in an attempt to offer myself some
comfort.

“So
what is it you want to know about Adam, Nat?” asks Sarah. “I just spoke to him
on the phone earlier this morning actually,” she adds casually.

She
pauses, bowing her head down at the cream coloured carpet, looking saddened.
“He worshipped Jess... he was devastated when I called to tell him the news of
her death; he left the day after she fell. He had no idea until a few days
later when I spoke to him.”

I
nod, being careful in my choice of words “So, do you get to see him often?” I
ask as informally as I can.

Sarah
shakes her head. “We’ve only seen him a couple of times since me and my husband
Sam immigrated here four years ago. My husband was offered a job down on the
south coast, but was relocated here after a few months. I’ve only managed one
trip back to Australia.”

“So
when did you see Adam last?”

“He
came here last year to spend Christmas with us. He stayed for a few weeks
before heading back home. That’s when he and Jess met up again.” Sarah suddenly
stands from where she is sitting.

“I’m
so sorry, Nat! Where are my manners? Can I get you anything to drink? Tea,
coffee, soda maybe?”

“No,
I’m fine, thank you,” I reply. I’m parched and would appreciate something to
drink, but I don’t want her to stop what she is saying, I'm intrigued to find
out more. Sarah smiles and sits back down. Luckily, I don’t have to prompt her
to continue from where she left off.

“It
was good they got a chance to see each other again after so long... five years,
I think Adam said it had been since he’d last seen her. He didn’t realise how
close I lived to Jess until he got here. Once he knew, he couldn’t resist
tracking her down and getting in touch with her again.”

So
Adam had only been here for a short time visiting, but by the sounds of things
they must have met before, maybe when she was travelling. Sarah confirms my
suspicions.

“They
were so good together,” she says brightly. “They could never be parted when
Jess was in Australia with him. They were love’s young dream, and were such a
good match as well. Jess told me that she had a sister, told me all about you
and her family. She said you were looking forward to meeting Adam someday.”

I
almost laugh out loud, I was looking forward to meeting him! I didn’t even know
he existed until now.
Why?
My stomach does an unexpected flip. I put my
hand on it, trying to keep composure. So Jess and Adam
had
been in a
relationship while she was in Australia. But I thought she and Matt were going
to attempt to make a go of things, to eventually admit to one another they were
more than just friends. Nothing had been official when she’d left, but Matt
doted on her. It was clear to everyone that he was in love with her, how could
she have done that to him? She married him after returning home, for Christ’s
sake. How many people had she lied to about this?

“I
know,” I say, swallowing hard, smiling. Sarah obviously thinks I knew about
their relationship while Jess was in Australia, so I play along. “Jess never
stopped talking about him, she used to call me all the time when she was away
travelling.” In truth, I had rarely spoken to Jess. We had sent lots of e-mails
and had the odd phone call, but all we talked about when she called was where
she was, the weather, how she was enjoying it. Then she would ask how the family
were all doing. She had never mentioned Adam, not once, not to any of us.

“So,
you want to talk to Adam?” Sarah asks me, breaking the trance that I have
entered.

“Um...
yeah, if he wouldn’t mind,” I say politely, “If you have his phone number, that
would be great.”

“Actually,”
she says. “You might be in luck, your timing’s just right. He’s coming over to
spend Christmas with us this year. He’s arriving in four days’ time. If you
would prefer to wait and meet up with him face to face, I can take your number
and pass it on to him when he gets here.”

I
smile and nod, my heart pounding in my chest just thinking about it. I didn't
even know this person existed until twenty-four hours ago, now suddenly I'm
arranging to meet him.

Sarah
walks over to a glass cabinet in the corner of the room, returning with a biro
and a piece of paper. I call out my number as she writes it onto the sheet,
using the coffee table in front of me.

“Got
it!” she says, “I’ll pass it on to him. He’s due to get here Friday morning, so
I’d expect to hear from him anytime after that. I know he’d like to meet you,
it’s a shame he didn’t get the chance when he was over here last.”

I
rise to my feet and head to the door, after thanking Sarah for her help. I have
what I came for, I just need to get out of here now and take some time to
process the information Sarah has given me.

“Once
again... I’m so sorry for your loss,” says Sarah, “I only met Jess on a few
occasions while she was in Sydney, but she made my brother the happiest man
alive. She was a great girl.”

I
smile. “Yeah, she was.”

Maybe
their relationship had just been a holiday romance which was re-kindled when
Adam came to England. But things must have been pretty serious, as it appeared
that Jess was going to leave the country to be with this man. She must have
loved him, and by the sounds of things he still loved her too. So why did he
leave without her?

I
bid Sarah goodbye as she leads me out of the house.

“Thanks
again for passing my number onto Adam. It’ll be good to finally meet him and
put a face to a name that I heard so much about,” I say, my voice sounding
credible.

Sarah
nods. “I’m sure Adam will be happy when I tell him about you. He’s had a really
tough time and is still struggling with Jess’s death, but then he
was
her husband.”

My
mouth drops open in astonishment as Sarah waves briefly and wishes me a safe
journey home before closing the door behind her, and my world implodes.

I
stare out of the windscreen at the never ending straight black road ahead of
us. The heat bounces off it, casting a blurry haze for as far as I can see. The
sky is grey, and dense rain clouds loom in the distance. The ground on either
side of the road is dry and dusty, the earth a dark shade of red. I put my feet
up on the hot dashboard and gaze down at my bare legs, which have now tanned to
a golden shade of brown. The breeze from the open window next to me blows
through my loose hair and it tickles at my bare shoulders.

We
pass a yellow road sign with a picture of a hopping kangaroo on it. It’s an
image I find rather ironic, as the only kangaroo I’ve seen on the whole journey
here has been lying dead on the side of the road.

Adam
and I are travelling to Margaret River for a weekend break. It will be nice to
get away from the city for a few days. I’ve been doing quite a few shifts at
the bar I work in lately, so the rest will be appreciated. Adam says Margaret
River is a must see while in Western Australia.

I
look at Adam as he drives. He has his hand placed casually on the wheel, and
his eyes are covered by black aviator style shades which are focused firmly on
the road ahead. His arm rests on the open window, at least until he swiftly
moves to swat at a fly which has entered. The fly noisily buzzes past my head
before exiting via the open window on my side of the ute.

Adam
has been working hard lately too, he works as a builder. There’s no shortage of
work for him at the moment, due to the increased demand for houses because of
the State’s ever growing popularity. It seems that at the moment everyone wants
a piece of life down under, and are flocking to the country in droves. He has
recently bought a new apartment up in the Perth hills, and I am now living there
with him. My life is perfect, and I’ve never felt happier.

An
image of Matt suddenly comes into my head, and a stab of guilt hits me. There’s
nothing but friendship between us. There never has been anything else, but I
know how he feels about me. It’s written all over his face, and blatantly
obvious to everyone else, too. I love him, and constantly worry about hurting
his feelings.

I’ve
known Matt for as long as I can remember. He’s been my best friend since we
were old enough to walk. I think maybe that’s the reason I can’t picture us
being together as a couple. I haven’t mentioned anything about Adam to my
family yet either, not even Nat. I feel terrible, because I tell her
everything. I just don’t want them to think badly of me. I know how they feel
about Matt, they have always just assumed we would end up together. Dad, in
particular, looks at him like a son- in-law already, so I know he will be
crushed when I tell him I don’t love him, not in the romantic sense, anyway.

My
thoughts are interrupted as we enter the town of Margaret River. The approach
to the town had been filled with vineyards stretching for miles, and Adam
promises me we can take a trip to them during our time here, but there’s
somewhere he wants me to see first. We stop at our hotel and check in before
dumping our bags, then jump back in the car and hit the road once more.

Dusk
is approaching as we approach Cape Leeuwin. The threatening rain clouds from
our journey have now all but disappeared, as though they had never existed.
Adam parks the car and I get out. The wind here is strong. I push against its
intense force and it whips at my face as we walk towards the white lighthouse
that stands tall and proud, jutting out along a narrow peninsula into the
ocean.

The
surrounding rocks and vast landscape are rugged and wild, creating a dramatic
contrast between the soft white fluffy clouds above, which are now starting to
break up and float away, revealing a cloudless pink sky. The sun is beginning
to fade now, its view slowly disintegrating into the water.

We
take a slow stroll along a wooden walkway leading to the sea, where Adam tells
me the Southern and Indian Oceans meet with an invisible connection. The waves
are rough and powerful here. I feel small and insignificant, like I can almost reach
out and touch Mother Nature herself. We walk away from the lighthouse and I sit
down on the jagged rocks overlooking the extensive terrain. The sea below
crashes loudly beneath us. Foam sprays into the air, flashing with a hundred
shades of blue. It’s peaceful, serene, and unmistakably beautiful. There’s
hardly anyone here now, but I can imagine that it is visited by many tourists
during the daytime hours.

“You
were right! I love it, it’s amazing here,” I say as Adam sits down next to me.

“Yeah,”
he replies, “I used to come here with my family when Sarah and I were kids.”

I
smile. This place must hold memories, much like Milton Point holds so many for
me back home. I feel a sense of homesickness every time I think about the place.
I’ll have to organise a trip there with Dad when I return home. We haven’t been
in a while, and I know he loves it there almost as much as I do.

Adam
speaks as if he can see the images that are flashing through my mind.

“I
don’t want you to go home,” he says, his voice no more than a whisper, as if
he’s been thinking it, but the words came out of his mouth instead.

“I
have to at some point,” I say. “I’ve been here almost twelve months now and I’m
only here on a working holiday visa.”

Adam
stares at me. His green eyes twinkle in the quickly diminishing light as the
sun continues to set.

“There’s
things we can do so you can stay permanently,” he says.

“Like
what?” I ask. “Sponsorship is few and far between these days, and I don’t have
a profession on the wanted skills list so...”

Adam
laughs at my apparent naivety. “That’s not what I mean,” he says, standing up
and reaching into the back pocket of his jeans. He pulls out a small black
velvet covered box and kneels on one knee in front of me, snapping it open to
produce a stunning white gold band holding a little cluster of diamonds in the
centre.

“Jessica
Lawson, I love you, and I can’t imagine living my life without you. Would you
do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

At
that moment, the thought of Matt, of my family, and my whole existence back
home in England is erased from my memory. All I can focus on is this fantastic
and beautiful man in front of me who is asking me to share the rest of my life
with him. I don’t even waver before grabbing his face in my hands and kissing
him lightly.

“Yes,”
I say with no hesitance. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”