Sleigh Bells in the Snow (27 page)

“What’s in there?”

“Sustenance, just in case we need it.” He took her hand and led her along the snowy trail, through heavily laden trees and into the depth of the forest until Dana and the sled were no longer visible and the only sound was the occasional howl of the dogs as they waited impatiently to start running again.

Kayla paused, looking through the trees illuminated by moonlight and his head torch. “I’d spook myself if I were on my own.”

“You’re not on your own.” He curved his arm around her and pulled her against him. “Listen.”

It started to snow, big soft flakes drifting down in a steady flow, settling on her hat and her jacket.

“What am I listening for?” She tilted her head. “I don’t hear anything.”

“Exactly. It’s just you, me and the forest. Some of these trees, especially the white pine and the sugar maple, have been standing here for hundreds of years. When I was a kid I used to think that was so cool. I used to wonder who else had walked past and seen these same trees.” He stooped and picked up a beautifully shaped pinecone from the surface of the deep snow. “I was fascinated by how the trees could change with the seasons and yet still be here. In the fall, if you stand up on the ridge where we were skiing this morning, it’s like looking at a sunset. Reds, golds, oranges—all mixed together.”

“It must be spectacular.”

“It is, but this has always been my favorite time of year. Not just winter, but Christmas. When I was a kid I used to come up here with Gramps. We’d haul the sled and choose a tree for the lodge. I could never understand why people wanted to cut them down and put them indoors.” He studied the pinecone in his hand. “I couldn’t understand why folks wanted to spray these silver and put them in a bowl in the center of the dining table with big red bows. A tree belongs in a forest. For me, coming here with Gramps was Christmas. It wasn’t the decorations, lights or turkey. It was everything right here.”

His words made her eyes sting.

“This is real. The rest is all an illusion.”

“It’s time you had some new memories of Christmas, Kayla.” His voice was as soft and gentle as the snow falling around them. “We’re going to make them together so that you have something good to take away with you. That’s my gift to you. Merry Christmas.”

The sting in her throat became a lump as he slid the pinecone into her palm.

“A souvenir from Vermont. Put it on your desk and it will remind you of the forest when you’re back in the craziness of your life.”

Kayla stared at it for a long moment and then tucked the pinecone carefully into her pocket, wondering why the prospect of returning to the craziness of her life didn’t lift her mood.

It was what she did, and she’d done it for so long she didn’t even question whether there might be another way.

Or maybe she was just too afraid to look.

Maybe he was right about that.

Jackson lifted his hand and brushed snow away from her hat. “We should get back.”

The chemistry was a sharp pull in her stomach, a snatch of breath, a pound of her heart—as powerful as ever, drawing them together. She wasn’t a romantic person but there was something about the soft fall of snow and the intense blue of Jackson’s eyes that made it hard to breathe.

And she knew he was going to kiss her, here in this frozen forest, the trees their only witness.

There was an inevitability to it that made her heart kick at her ribs and when his arms came around her and his mouth finally claimed hers, she gave a soft sigh. His lips were cool, the outside temperature below freezing, but the kiss was perfect—lit by stars and moonbeams, the heat and fire cooled by the soft brush of falling snowflakes on her skin, and she knew that, whatever happened, she would go back with new memories of Christmas.

It had to end, of course. It was too cold to allow such a perfect moment to last, but the warmth stayed with her as they walked back through the silent forest to Dana and the waiting husky team.

They snuggled back down in the sleeping bag, drank hot chocolate to warm themselves and then continued on the trail, along the side of the lake and back to Kayla’s cabin.

“Thank you.” Kayla shivered as her boots touched the snow. “That was the best experience of my life.”

“Top that, Jackson.” Dana winked at her cousin. “Want me to run you back to your barn?”

“I do not.” A smile touching his mouth, he strolled over to his cousin and hugged her. “Thanks, Dana.”

Her eyes twinkled. “You could invite me in for a coffee.”

“I could, but I’m not going to.” He strolled away from her and took Kayla’s arm while Dana gave a dreamy sigh.

“Okay, but just remember I do engagements and weddings. Champagne extra.”

Jackson didn’t turn his head.

* * *

S
HE
WAS
SHIVERING
,
and he realized with a tug of guilt just how wet she was. “We stayed out too long. You’re frozen.”

“I loved it.” Her teeth were chattering. “That’s how I want to commute when I get back to New York. Thank you for arranging it.”

Cursing softly, he tugged off her gloves and warmed her freezing hands. “Stay there and don’t move. I need one minute, that’s all—just one minute.”

He’d been planning it all evening, but hadn’t expected to use it as a first aid technique.

He did what he needed to do and returned to find her standing where he’d left her, the melting snow sliding off her jacket.

“We need to get you out of your clothes—”

“You have to be kidding.” Her hands covered his as he tried to unzip her jacket. “I am not removing a s-single layer. You may be hot, O’Neil, but even you’re not hot enough to make me part with layers.”

“You need to be naked for what I have in mind.”

Her teeth were chattering. “Jackson—”

“Hot tub.” He ignored the grip of her chilled fingers and pulled down the zip. “We need to get you out of this wet clothing and into the warmth.”

“I c-cannot take my c-clothes off.”

“I’ll do that part.”

“You’re all heart, O’Neil.”

“Not true. I have other parts.” He pulled off her fleece top, steadily undressing her. “Parts you’re about to discover.”

“Are those parts frozen?”

“Definitely not. Want me to prove it? I’ll leave you your underwear, Green.”

“Why bother?” She was still shivering but her eyes were dark as she looked at him. “Don’t tell Alice, but my underwear isn’t thermal.”

“In that case it’s serving no purpose and has to come off.” Resisting the temptation to start the warming process right there and then on the hardwood floor, Jackson relieved her of her underwear and wrapped a warm bathrobe around her. “Come with me.”

“I am going to die of hypothermia. Or frostbite—” Her muttered complaints lasted until she slid into the steaming hot tub. “Or maybe I’ll just die of bliss—” She closed her eyes and sank down to her neck. “Oh, this is perfect.”

Jackson slid in next to her, the heat of the water a luxurious contrast to the freezing air.

She leaned her head back against the side of the hot tub. “I want to stay here and never move. I’m going to make Brett install one in the office for lunchtime relaxation sessions.”

“You don’t take lunch and you don’t relax.”

But she was relaxing now, her eyes closed, her long lashes creating a dark shadow against her pale skin. “Now I understand why you installed a hot tub on the deck of each cabin. It’s genius.”

“You’ve never used a hot tub before?”

“Never.” Her eyes opened and she looked at the forest and the frozen surface of the lake that glistened in the moonlight. “I bet there aren’t many hot tubs with a view like this one.”

“I’ve tried to persuade my grandfather to try it.”

She smiled. “I can imagine his response.”

“It wasn’t polite, but the gist of it was that he thinks it’s an unnecessary extravagance.”

“Which probably defines my perfect holiday.”

“You never take holidays.”

“Maybe it’s time I did.”

“Are you telling me you’ve fallen in love with Snow Crystal?”

Her smile faltered. A tiny frown appeared on her forehead.

“Maybe. Does that count as being involved with a client?”

“No. But this does.” He tried to take it slowly, to savor each moment, because the last time had been a desperate blur of hunger and need and he wanted this to be different. He fought the surge of raw primal lust, tensed muscle to prevent himself from hauling her close, tried to ignore the madness, until holding back became the biggest challenge of his life. She was naked, her skin gleaming wet from the snow and the water. He’d never seen a woman more beautiful.
Never wanted a woman more.

Her hair was pinned haphazardly on top of her head. Wisps of blond, damp from the steam, clung to the smooth curve of her jaw and neck.

This was a different Kayla Green and this was the woman he wanted.

He might have kept it slow if she hadn’t slid a hand over his thigh and eased herself closer to him in the bubbling water. Might even have held back a little if her mouth hadn’t brushed against his jaw, the lick of her tongue a tease and a temptation. He turned his head, caught her mouth with his and was lost. Her lips were soft, her kisses hot, her body lithe as she moved gracefully through the steaming water and wound her legs around his.

Her hand cupped him, and Jackson closed his eyes, jaw clenched, brain wiped, reduced to the most basic version of himself. “Kayla—”

“This is your fault—” She nibbled his lip, licked at him, driving him crazy. “I don’t do this, so it has to be your fault.”

But she was doing it now, and he told himself that was all that mattered. They’d work the rest out later. Or maybe they’d let the rest take care of itself. Right now, he didn’t care. All he cared about was not tipping over the edge. Not yet.

Her hands were on his shoulders, on his chest, and she drove him wild with the drag of her nails, the touch of her mouth until he knew he couldn’t trust himself to control the pace unless he was the one in charge.

Fighting for control, he locked his hands on her hips and shifted her so that she straddled him. Eyes wide, she tried to sheathe herself with him, but he held her hard, restricting the movement of her hips, his legs pressing hers apart, exposing her to his touch. And touch he did, with slow gentle strokes, his fingers sliding over her feminine softness until she gasped softly against his mouth.

Around them the forest was silent, sounds muffled by the thick blanket of winter and the steady fall of new snow. Her lips were pressed against his, and he felt each sound she made, tasted and swallowed every moan as he stroked and explored with knowing fingers until he tipped her over the edge.

He felt it happen, felt each ripple and pulse of her body with his fingers and he was so hard, so ready, it took all his willpower not to give in to the writhing of her hips and take what they both wanted right there.

But he wanted more—so much more than a steamy encounter in a hot tub followed by a serving of hypothermia.

“Inside.” He managed one word and she raised her head and looked at him, eyes unfocused, mouth soft and swollen from his kisses.

“Inside?”

“Now.” He’d never been this desperate. Never felt this out of control, not even when he’d hit adolescence and chased everything female. Exercising willpower he didn’t know he had, he eased away from her, reached for her robe and braved the freezing air. “Move.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

H
E
SECURED
THE
door behind them, shutting out the cold. Then he grabbed warm towels from the bathroom and tried to dry her hair, but she couldn’t keep herself from touching and neither could he so the towel landed on the bedroom floor, abandoned and forgotten.

His robe went next, the moon sending silver light over perfect male physique.

“I’ve had an idea—” Her mouth was dry as she slid her hand over his chest. “We could just make a poster of you half-naked and slap it on the subway. Snow Crystal would be booked out within minutes.”

He gave a slow smile. “I’m already booked. Exclusively.”

The word shook her. She’d never felt like this before. Never allowed her feelings to be engaged. But she no longer had a choice in it. She wanted all of him. Wanted to know all there was to know.

“How did you get this?” Her palm traced the scar over his ribs and lingered there.

“I was injured rescuing a litter of vulnerable puppies from a river.”

“Really?” She glanced up and the dangerous glitter in his eyes gave her clues as to exactly how he was feeling.

“No, not really—” he spoke through his teeth “—but this isn’t a good time to confess all my misadventures. Kayla—”

“Mmm?” She teased him, took her time, explored him with her fingers and her tongue until finally, when his breathing was shallow and uneven, she dropped to her knees and took him in her mouth, sliding her lips over his silken hardness, taking him deep.

She heard him groan her name, felt the shudder pass through his body as she used her tongue and her mouth, touching and tasting until finally he muttered something unintelligible and lifted her to her feet.

They hit the bed together, rolled, her on top then him on top, his fingers hard on her flesh as he spread her thighs.

She was ready, so ready, but still he postponed that moment, drawing his tongue over her, driving her higher, closer, until her hips shifted against the sheets and her hands clutched at his shoulders. His muscles were pumped up and hard, everything about him completely, aggressively masculine as he used his wickedly expert hands and mouth to seduce her until she was weak with wanting.

“Jackson—” his name left her lips like a plea “—I want— I need— You have to—” The words were as messed up as her thoughts but he knew what she wanted and gave it to her, his mouth on her, his tongue on her as he explored her with erotic precision and a skill that had her sobbing with desperation.

Swamped by exquisite sensation, she felt herself rush toward orgasm, but this time instead of letting her reach that peak alone, he eased away from her briefly, reached for the protection he’d almost forgotten the first time and then drove into her with a smooth thrust that took him deep.

She gasped his name, felt the hardness of him, the thickness of him pulse inside her and felt control slipping. She opened her eyes and stared into the fierce blue of his, and what they shared in that single look was as intimate as the physical connection that throbbed through both of them. He lowered his head and kissed her deeply and then they were moving together in a perfect rhythm, his hand locked in her hair, eyes on hers, inseparable as they took the same wild ride through the storm. It was intense and primitive, her need for him so fierce she thought she’d burn alive with the heat of it. Orgasm ripped through her, and she cried out, consumed by it, the spasms of her body rippling down his shaft and taking him with her. They kissed right through it, mouths fused, bodies slick with sweat, her gaze locked with his the whole time so they didn’t just feel what they were doing to each other, they watched it happen.

And afterward they lay, bodies entwined, not moving.

When she’d recovered sufficiently, Kayla tried to pull away only to find herself locked against him.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His eyes were closed and her hand was on his chest. She felt the steady thump of his heart beating under her palm.

“I need to—”

“I know what you need to do, but you’re staying here.”

“I was going to say I need the bathroom.”

“You were going to say that, but then you were going to run.” His eyes were still closed. “And I’m not letting you do that. Not this time. You’re going to stay right here and then perhaps you’ll discover the world doesn’t end if you wake up in my bed in the morning. Go to sleep, sweetheart.”

Frustration mingled with panic. “You manipulated this evening. You did it on purpose.”

“I planned the part in the forest. The rest just happened.”

She sat up, spooked by feelings she had no idea how to handle. “No, it didn’t just happen.” She turned to him, accusing. “You did this. Magical sled rides through the forest, a hot tub on the deck, skiing, snowmobiling—you were trying to make me fall in love with Snow Crystal.”

“Of course. You were supposed to fall in love.”

With the place, yes, but not with the man,
she thought desperately. Never with the man.

He was someone who believed in bonds, ties, families—all the things she would never allow herself to believe in ever again.

And yet, even knowing that, she was lying here next to him. Again. She’d never been this intimate with a man. Never shared so much.

“Are you going to lie down or am I going to do my caveman thing and haul you back down here?” His tone was mild but the hand on her shoulder was strong. Reassuring. She tried to ignore the lazy stroke of his palm over her bare flesh.

“I can’t do this—”

“All I’m asking you to do is lie down. Is that so hard?”

“That’s not what I mean—”

“I know, but it’s enough for now.” He drew her into the circle of his arms and held her there. “You never just live in the moment. You’re always ten steps ahead, panicking.” His fingers stroked her hair gently, and she closed her eyes because it felt good and that terrified her, too.

“I never imagined it could be like this. And I don’t mean the sex, although that was good—”

“Good? Sweetheart,
good
is the first cup of coffee in the morning or a perfect powder day on the mountain. This was off the scale—”

“Good sex is a matter of physical compatibility. It doesn’t have to be close—”

“You’ve had sex like that before?”

“I— No—” He tied her in knots. She couldn’t get her balance.
Couldn’t breathe.
“Jackson—”

“This doesn’t feel close?” He lifted his eyebrows, and she couldn’t blame him for that because her limbs were tangled with his, her naked body pressed against his. There wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t touching him.

“It feels close. And I don’t do close.”

“Because it’s safer to keep yourself distant so you don’t get hurt. Yeah, I get that. But just because your parents had a screwed-up relationship doesn’t mean all relationships are screwed up.”

“Their relationship wasn’t screwed up. They never argued.”

“And that didn’t strike you as strange?”

“Why would it? I assumed it meant they were happy.”

“Really? Because that isn’t what it would have said to me.”

“What would it have said to you?”

“Sweetheart, you can’t live with someone, be married to them for years and never disagree on a single thing. How is that healthy?” His hand was warm on her bare back. “There are only two reasons a couple are never going to argue—the first is because they’re afraid, maybe because the balance of power is wrong or other complex reasons mostly driven by fear, the second is because they don’t care enough. There is a third, which is when they’re thinking and feeling the same thing at the same time, but that would make them robots.”

She hadn’t thought about it before. “There’s a fourth—” her hand slid around his waist “—and that’s that you don’t see each other enough to argue. That’s how it was with my parents most of the time. My father stayed away.”

“With his other family. And that sucks, and if you want my utterly biased opinion, I confess to wanting to shake the pair of them for not living their relationship in an honest fashion.”

“I suppose they thought they did their best.”

“Then their best wasn’t good enough.” His voice was hard. “Either one of them could have said at any point that it wasn’t working for them. That they wanted more. Instead they colluded to live a lie and they forced you to be part of that lie. And when that lie fell apart, as it inevitably would in those circumstances, you were left holding the fragments of something that never even existed. You avoid relationships because you’re terrified of having that and losing it again—” He curved his hand behind her head and forced her to look at him. “But what you saw wasn’t a relationship. It was a tangled mess. And instead of untangling the mess, they just stepped over it and left you there in the rubble. They didn’t even try to rebuild something you could be part of.”

“Neither of them wanted me living with them.” She paused, aware of an emptiness in her chest. “I suppose I’m just not that lovable.” It was the first time she’d voiced that feeling, and he swore softly and rolled, pinning her to the bed.

“They told you that?”

“They didn’t need to. It was obvious in the lengths they went to not to spend time with me. Those first few holidays when I started at boarding school were hideously awkward. The correct term for it is a blended family, but we were never that.” She stared up at him, distracted by the blue of his eyes and the sensual curve of his mouth, feeling more vulnerable than she ever had in her life before. “There was no blending. I used to hear my father’s new wife on the phone—‘we have his other daughter staying with us’—and then there’d be a pause while whoever it was on the other end of the phone sympathized with her. I stayed in my room as much as I could and then the next year I told them I’d been invited to stay with a friend. Deep down, I hoped they’d talk me out of it. That they’d tell me it was Christmas and they wanted me home.”

“But they didn’t.”

“They were relieved. They gave me money and told me to go and enjoy myself. After that they sent me money every year. Why are we talking about this?”

He stroked her cheek with his fingers. His touch was casual, but the look in his eyes was anything but casual. “I like to know what I’m fighting. You can’t remove obstacles until you know what they are. Now I know more about you.”

“You don’t know me, Jackson.”

But he knew more about her than any other person.

“I know that what you believe about relationships is based on one appalling example. I know you’re scared.” His voice was rough. “I know I’m going to change that.”

“You can’t. I’m stuck this way now.”

“That sounds like a challenge.” His mouth was on hers, warm and skilled, and this time when they made love it was slow, deep and rocked the heart of her. And she knew that each time they did this she was making it harder for herself to walk away unscathed.

“Jackson—”

“Close your eyes and go to sleep.” He rolled onto his back, but didn’t release her. “We still have to catch up on the sleep we didn’t get last night, and tonight is half-over.”

She lay still in the strong protective circle of his arms, not wanting to move. In the past, staying had been the problem, not leaving. Now that situation was reversed.

But what difference would it make to stay until dawn? What did one whole night really matter?

She’d wake early and do what she always did.

She’d get up and walk away.

* * *

S
HE
WOKE
TO
bright sunshine and delicious smells from the kitchen. She lay there for a moment, warm and lethargic, hovering between wake and sleep. Sometime during the night it had stopped snowing, and through the window she could see a perfect blue sky, the sun reflecting off snow that had the smooth perfection of a wedding cake.

Still groggy, Kayla groped for her phone and did what she always did first thing in the morning. She checked the time.

Normally it said 5:00 a.m.

Today it said 9:00 a.m.

Nine?

It had to be a mistake. She hadn’t slept until nine since—since—she couldn’t remember a time when she’d slept until nine.
She never slept until nine.

She sprang out of bed, then realized she was naked and grabbed the nearest item of clothing from the pile on the floor, which turned out to be Jackson’s T-shirt. It smelled of him and she briefly pressed her face in it before dragging it on and dragging her fingers through her hair.

Flustered, she looked at the bed and then at the open door leading to the living area. So much for her plan to sneak out early.

She ventured into the kitchen and saw him, standing with his back to her, frying bacon. He’d pulled on jeans, but his feet were bare. His chest was bare. Her gaze lingered on the masculine contours of his body. She stared at the swell of his biceps, at the hard strength of his shoulders, at the power in those forearms. He was the hottest, sexiest guy she’d ever met, and he shouldn’t be allowed to remove his shirt without issuing a warning.

She thought the moan was in her head, but something must have come out of her mouth because he turned and of course the front view was even better than the back.

“Good morning.” His voice was husky, and he turned the heat off under the pan and strolled over to her. His jaw was dark, his hair slightly rumpled, and she knew she was the one responsible for that because she’d had her fingers locked in it for almost half the night.

She had no idea what she was supposed to say but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. Instead he cupped her face in his hands and lowered his head. His kiss was long, slow and deep, and she felt fire lick through her veins. Her eyes drifted shut. He could take her from zero to the edge of orgasm at supersonic speed with nothing more than a single kiss. By the time he finally lifted his head she was ready to go straight back to bed. It shouldn’t have been possible to feel this desperate, should it? Not after the way they’d spent the night.

Unsettled, she pulled away from him, but that didn’t help because now she had a full-on view of his chest. “You should have woken me.”