Sleigh Ride Together with You (12 page)

 

 

 

 

13

 

Friday Morning

 

Alex sat in his temporary office, poring over his notes for a conference call with the New York office. A couple of short, hard knocks on the door interrupted his concentration.

“Come on in.”

Nicole stepped inside, and his pulse jumped. Based on her agitated expression, she had something important on her mind. “I understand Colin paid you a little visit last night.”

Sitting back in his chair, Alex twirled a pencil between his fingers and debated the merits of admitting it or keeping his mouth closed. Finally, sensibility won out. “He did, yes. For the sake of clarification, he wasn't invited.”

“Why he felt the need, I can't imagine. I suppose he was playing big brother again.” Crossing her arms, Nicole started to pace. “I know he meant well, but he really should mind his own business sometimes.” Turning to him, she released a deep sigh. “I don't always need a protector, you know.”

“I know that. Care to sit down?” Alex waved his hand to the only other chair in the room.

“No, thanks.” She continued her pacing. “Do you have any idea what it's like to not be invited on dates because men are intimidated? They're afraid to talk to me for some reason. I don't get it.” She shook her head and turned those incredible, trusting blue eyes on him.

Nicole expected him to have the answer? Finding an adequate response she wouldn't resent or find chauvinistic was a near impossible task.

Lord, I could use a little help here.

He swallowed hard while he formulated his answer. “I think maybe it's because you—unconsciously—might somehow bring a man's shortcomings to the forefront.” He kept a straight face although he wanted to frown. That was either one of the dumbest, or one of the most profound, things he'd ever said.

Tipping her head, Nicole observed him with a question written in her lovely features. “Explain shortcomings.”

“Well, think about it.” Lifting out of the chair, Alex tossed down his pencil. Walking around the desk, he thrust both hands deep in his pockets and positioned himself in front of her to prevent her from further pacing. “Here's the thing, Nicole. Men are supposed to be strong and confident. We're expected to lead our families and put in long hours of work to provide well for them. Yet we're also supposed to switch gears and be sensitive enough to listen to what the woman in our life is really saying between the lines. Then go rock our kids to sleep when they have a tummy ache. Not that I'm complaining or disparaging any of those things. Not at all. In fact, I look forward to them.”

That probably hadn't come out right at all. He shrugged. She hadn't told him to buzz off yet, so he might as well keep going. “It's what I believe God calls men to do, but so many of us fail. The problem is that some guys give up without even trying. You're a very self-sufficient woman, Nicole. A lot of guys probably figure they'll never measure up to a woman like you, so why bother trying? I'm not saying it's right. For the record, I'm not the type of man who gives up.” What was wrong with him? He'd spoken the truth, but he also sounded like a rambling idiot in the process.

“So, you're saying I give off a vibe or whatever of not needing a man? And I might actually scare men away?”

“Maybe.” Seeing her eyes widen, he hastened to explain. “No. I mean, of course not.”

Nicole's eyes narrowed. “Using the reverse feminine psychology, a lot of women are forced to become strong because of circumstances imposed on them. The man leaves, emotionally, physically, or both, and the woman's forced to become the head of the household.” Her shoulders slumped. “It's not always a conscious decision, you know.”

“Is that what happened with your mom?”

Nicole snapped up her chin, a move he'd come to appreciate. “Yes, that's exactly what happened.” Little could she know he remembered everything she'd confided in him, especially those things she held closest to her heart.

“Dad told Mom he was going on a fishing trip with his buddies. Turns out it was a fishing trip, all right. He moved out a week later. We found out he'd moved in with a much younger, divorced woman with three kids in a town ten miles down the road. Yet he told Mom he didn't want any more kids after me.”

She shook her head and lowered her gaze. “Does a whole lot for a teenage girl's self-esteem, you know? I honestly believe that's what triggered my mom's decline, although I don't know if there's any valid physiological reason for it. Mom was always so young and vibrant. She was beautiful. Yet my dad tossed her aside for someone who wasn't any of those things. And then, after that, she just shut down. To be honest, I'm not sure which one was the bigger loss.”

The anguish in Nicole's eyes seared straight into Alex's soul. He wanted to take away her pain, and he hated this feeling of complete helplessness. When she wiped away another tear, his heart skipped a few beats.

“Bad things happen.” Her voice was quiet. “I understand that. But sometimes I wonder if God's sparing us from a deeper hurt, and it's another way He protects us. My dad wasn't the nicest guy. When I was old enough to figure it out—about seven or eight—I realized in the times when he disappeared for days on end, he'd gone off on long drinking binges.”

Bringing his hands out of his pockets, Alex hesitated, unsure what to do, wondering what she wanted. If he allowed his emotions to take over, he'd pull Nicole into his arms. “I hope he never hurt you.”

She shook her head. “It was more emotional neglect than anything. So, no, he didn't hurt me or my mom in the way I think you mean.” Her tone sounded defeated. “Just my heart.”

Right or wrong, he needed to try and comfort her. Sliding his arms around her waist, Alex pulled her close, pleased when she didn't resist. The way he felt right now, he wanted nothing more than to hold this woman forever. Resting his cheek on the top of her head, he breathed in her sweet-scented hair. It'd been a while since he'd held a woman, but this time it was different. The right kind of different.

“I shouldn't have come. It was wrong. Forgive me.” Planting both hands on his chest, Nicole moved back a few steps.

“It wasn't wrong.” He resisted the urge to pull her back into his embrace. “I knew you were a remarkable woman, but you're also incredibly strong. Stronger than I think you realize. You've risen above the circumstances and haven't let them defeat you.”

“That's because I'm not the type of person who gives up. I guess you and I are more alike than we realized.”

He'd recognized it from the start, but he liked that now she could see it.

Nicole glanced up at him, deep emotion in her eyes. “What's happening between us, Alex?”

That was the question of the moment, the hour, the day, his lifetime. “I'm not sure. All I know is, I can't stop thinking about you.”

“I know. I feel the same way about you.” She shook her head. “But it doesn't change the fact that this—whatever it is between us—can't continue.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe you shouldn't go to Starlight with me. I can get one of the camera guys. That's what I'm saying.”

Frustration rose to the surface. “Now you're talking crazy, Nicole. Why not?”

“Well, for one thing—and trust me, I feel silly enough even saying this—people have a tendency to fall in love in Starlight. Maybe it's in the water or something. Or maybe in the proverbial stars. No, I know better. It's God. He's everywhere in Starlight—in a special way—and you can't help but feel His love.” She raised her hands in frustration. “It's like this warm, cozy blanket of love that covers everyone and everything in that town.”

Alex stepped closer. “And that's such a bad thing?” Although he wanted to kiss the living daylights out of her—he alternately blamed and thanked Colin for that one—he stood his ground. “Seems to me if two people are predisposed to falling in love, anyway, being in Starlight together would speed up something that's already God-ordained to happen.” He graced her with his best effort at a winning smile. “Right?” Hands down, that was the dumbest thing he'd ever said to Nicole, but with everything in him, he meant his words.

“Oh, I don't know. Forget I said anything. I can't believe how absolutely unprofessional I'm being. This is so unlike me.” Nicole shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair, disheveling it.

Wow, he liked her hair tousled, although it led his mind to places he shouldn't go.
Forgive me, Lord.

“If it's any consolation, I really like this side of you,” he said.

Her little speech intrigued him even more to experience all that was Starlight, Iowa. Falling in love had always been on his radar—a far distant place he might someday reach, maybe not. He was already falling over the edge with Nicole, so why not see what might happen? As recently as a year ago, that thought would have seemed foreign but not now. Not standing in the same room with a woman he'd come to adore in a record few days.

She stared straight through him. “I think I should go now. Thanks for listening. You must think I need the services of a shrink.”

“What I think—” The phone on the desk rang, reminding him of his conference call. Sliding his hands down to his hips, Alex scowled at it, ruing the timing. When he turned back to Nicole, she'd already slid out the door and pulled it closed behind her.

 

****

 

When Nicole asked Alex for the scissors, he made sure to hand them to her the proper way, a hard-earned lesson from his mother after he'd nearly impaled his younger brother. “What are we wrapping?”

He took a quick survey of the supplies she'd gathered on the conference room table—rolls of Christmas wrapping paper, tape, a ruler, and an assortment of tags, bows, and even artificial flowers. This woman took her gift wrapping seriously.

“Alex, you already helped deliver the coat donations to the collection center. You don't need to do this. I've got it covered.”

He grinned. “Is that your polite way of asking me to leave? Am I a nuisance to you?”

Scooping her hair off her shoulders, she quickly gathered it in a ponytail and secured the strands with a rubber band. “You're not a nuisance. But you are a distraction.” The corners of her lovely mouth upturned. “If you really want to help—”

“Sure thing. Just tell me what you need or show me what to do.”

Taking his hand, Nicole positioned his index finger in the middle of a strip of deep red satin ribbon. Unless it was his overactive imagination at work, Nicole's hand lingered on his longer than necessary. Every touch, every glance, every nuance had him wondering what it'd be like to kiss her and whisper the “sweet nothings” his grandpa told him about when he was ten, tagging along on a plumbing job. Thinking about kissing a girl back then just made him want to throw up. He'd changed his tune the day he'd entered middle school, and it smacked him in the face how Kylie Hendricks had noticeably grown up over the summer months.

“Don't move.” A warning glance surfaced in her expression.

“Wouldn't think of it. Just don't forget and leave my finger imprisoned.”

“That's an interesting idea.”

“So,” Alex said after a minute of shared silence, “are you going to tell me about these gifts?”

“You can remove your finger now.” After he did so, Nicole artfully arranged the loops on the bow. “Just a few things I picked up for different people.”

Alex glanced around the room, aware she'd been wrapping the better part of the last couple of hours. He nodded to a stack of gifts in the corner. “I'm guessing one of those packages has something for the teenage boy from the mission.”

Nicole's startled glance told him all he needed to know. “Your powers of observation are apparently alive and well. Terrence has outgrown most of his clothes. He's a good kid, but his mother can't afford to give him much. He needs some new things.”

“I've never seen anyone put such effort into wrapping a gift.” He nodded toward a blue and white package sitting in one corner with a huge silvery bow with ornaments dangling from it. “They're almost like works of art.”

“I wouldn't go that far.” Shaking her head, Nicole blew a loose strand of dark hair away from her face. She sorted through the supplies on the table before selecting a small cluster of artificial poinsettias.

Watching her work, Alex recalled Jeannie's words about how Nicole had spearheaded the station's toy and coat drive every Christmas season since joining the station. She'd also collected the donations to buy gifts for the mission residents. The evidence of her generous spirit was spread all around him now in the conference room turned Wrap Central.

He nodded to the gift she worked on now. “Is this package for your mother?”

“Yes,” she said, her voice quiet as she paused her work. “How did you know?”

“You're taking even more care with it, adding the flowers and using the finest ribbon on the table.”

She reached for a small glue gun and then attached the artificial poinsettias she'd arranged in the elegant bow. “Her favorite color is green, and I found a gorgeous emerald-colored robe. Mom can't do much, can't say much, but she can look pretty.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and Nicole released a sigh when it landed on the floral wrapping. “Wonderful. Now I'll have to start all over again.”

No hand-wringing, no over-the-top anxiety, just a quiet resignation.

When she reached for the box, presumably to tear off the wrapping, Alex put his hand on her arm to stop her.

She glanced up at him through watery eyes. “This seems to be a habit with you.”

“Nicole.” Planting his hands on her shoulders, he gently turned her toward him. His resistance to this woman was fading as fast as the sun on the horizon, visible outside the conference room window. “Your tears will dry, and the pattern of the wrapping paper will make it impossible to notice, anyway. And—not to be insensitive—but I don't think your mother will even notice.”