Slick as Ides (40 page)

He leans over and devours my lips with a hungry kiss.

“Home,” I say, pointing at the road.

He smirks with a lopsided grin, and I pinch the side of his thigh.

A sigh leaks out of him.

“You were really sexy back there,” I say, my fingers drifting through the hair above his ear.

He drives like he’s got all the time in the world to get Rich’s stolen car back to our newly secured fortress.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” I grip his hair at the roots. “I really wanted to have sex with you, and you know how much grocery store parking lots freak me out in terms of unsanitary conditions.”

He smiles, nods and has this elated look in his eyes. “Good. I’m glad to hear that. It’s going to make this much easier.”

My eyes narrow. “What’re you up to now?”

He doesn’t answer but wears a smug, devious expression.

I hug him and slip my right hand into his right jeans pocket. Hmm . . .

I grab something small and odd in there, remove my hand a few seconds later, then tuck it away in a safe spot when he’s not looking.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re up to?” I ask again.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he finally responds.

A few minutes later, we’re pulling into the garage and once the door’s closed, he pulls me into the backseat and slips something metallic out from under the seat.

Click, click.

“What the hell, Nick? You brought my cuffs?”

He nods and sucks in his bottom lip, moistening it. When he lets it go with a pop, I’m trying to bite him.

My hands are bound to the death grip in the backseat above my head.

Why? What’s he trying to pull?

“Okay, you have two choices,” he begins.

“You’re not going to get me pregnant in Rich’s car,” I answer immediately.

“Stop trying to guess—you suck at it.” He chuckles. “Now, my dirty bitch has two choices like I was saying before I was interrupted.” He pulls out of his pocket, what I thought was one of our remotes. It’s an electric beard trimmer he uses for his sideburns. “Would you rather squirt all over his upholstery back here or have me shave those dirty, germ-infested pubes for you?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Neither. This is absolutely hideous to even think about!” I say, my voice going up about two octaves, and in this enclosed space, it sounds shaky and weak, though it’s loud.

“Not a choice. If you decide to give me what you call your piss, then I’ll lick it all off these leather seats afterward. And you’ll be released so you can go inside, grab the black light and come back out to do a better job of cleaning it off. If you choose to be shorn"—he chuckles at his silly word, shorn—“then I’ll come back out here and vacuum them up, but you know it’ll be hard to get them all. I might miss some, and then your DNA will be in here for forensic scientists to find and future car thieves as well.” Once more with the wiggly, flirty brows.

“This is sick!” I tip my head back and rest it on the car door. For some stupid reason I’m grinning like an imbecile.

His creativity for lunacy like this is astounding—and God love him, I can’t help but want him more for it.

He pulls off his shirt and stuffs it behind my back. “For cushioning,” he explains.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re all sorts of gentlemanly right now.” I snort, then chuckle, shaking my head.

“Damn right, I am. Now, which shall it be, my sexy girl?” He wears a lopsided smirk. It makes my stomach flip.

Bzzzzzzzzz . . .

He turns on the clippers, and I cringe.

“Okay, geyser-pussy—put that fucking horrendous thing away!” I tip my chin at the implement of torture.

“You
sure
? You’d look awesome with a bald pussy, and I’d reward you other ways if you did this little thing for me. If you choose the slip-and-slide option, I’ve got something else I’ll be doing to you at the end, and you can’t fight me on it.”

“Jesus—when do you have time to think up shit like this? I thought you said
I
was a slave driver, planning this heist, making the necessary preparations.”

His head wobbles from side-to-side and he shrugs. “Just don’t sleep much now that you’re in my bed every night. So, choose, and make it quick.”

I huff. “I choose the fluid route. Hairs are staying—get used to them. Cavemen like hairy women.”

He laughs and pulls out his pocket knife and cuts my shirt off.

“Hey, you paid top dollar for this apparel,” I say, laughing.

“Yeah, and that homeless woman is probably buying herself ten more outfits just like it with how much cash I gave her.”

“Next time find someone dressed in darker colors. Why would a homeless person ever wear a white tee shirt? It’s just so . . .”

“Stupid?” he asks, then slices through the tattered up jeans.

“Enjoying yourself?” I taunt by jutting my breasts out.

“Immensely, now shut up. This takes concentration.” His tongue hangs out the side of his mouth while he smiles like a dork.

He pulls the shreds of my clothing away, snaps a picture with his phone, then licks his way up my right thigh to my right breast and bites through the bra.

His next move is to cut that offensive piece of underclothing off.

I scowl.

“I love this bra, you shithead.” I tuck my head to my chest to see what the damage looks like to it. “This is my only white one.” Why am I still smiling? This is so ridiculous.

He smirks. “White’s overrated.” A kiss is planted in the middle of my breasts and then he pulls away. “Okay, now you’re gonna get the encore before I fuck you and make you gush. This can’t wait if you’re gonna insult me before I fuck you.”

“No, no! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” I say through tight lips and laugher as he yanks my shoes and socks off. I try to wiggle away from him, but I can’t escape.

He knows I can’t stand being barefoot anywhere other than on my own pristine hardwood floors that I know are safe and disease-free.

“Yes, woman. You earned it.”

And then
pop
!

“Oh shit no!”

His hot mouth envelops me as he sucks on my toes one at a time, staring me in the eye the entire time.

“Think of how many germs are invading your mouth right now!” I squeal, laughing even harder.

He slips a finger inside my panties he has yet to remove, and yanks at one of my curls.

His lips slide off my big toe and he says, “Oh, I forgot to tell you—not only am I a nasty pervy dick, but I
love
germs. I use your toothbrush every morning and night!”

And that’s when I scream so loud, the car actually sways.

He rocks it harder a moment later though when he tears my panties off and slams himself inside me.

“Viruses . . . Amoebas . . . Bacteria . . . I love all of it.” He licks the seam of my lips.

I grimace for a second, and then that smile is back in place, even though this is vile and beyond nasty. When I try to turn my head away, he grips my jaw.

“Say you want me.” His eyes burn into me.

I shake my head, fighting off giggles.

“Say you’re mine.” He licks his own lips.

Another head shake. He grips a little tighter.

I go from feeling loopy, to insanely turned-on by the tone of his voice.

“Then at least marry me, woman.” He rubs his face for a moment and his mouth with his hand, then grinds his teeth.

He gags for a second, then produces a ring between his teeth with a black diamond.

“Oh, shit, that’s so gross—”

“That’s a yes,” he says.

I nod, and as he shoves his dick in as far as it can go while he simultaneously puts the ring on my finger. “I knew this was what you were waiting for. Now you’ll have my baby?”

I laugh, my abs sore from cracking up so hard over the last few minutes. “If you’re into test-tube babies, then sure.”

He growls, grabs my tits hard and bares his teeth at me. “No. Old fashioned way. I’m putting this kid in you with my dirty dick, and this dirty bitch is going to birth it screaming, pooping and peeing like all good girls do.”

He spends the next few seconds with his fingers inside me, torturing my G-spot, making it swell.

I whimper, and he pushes his cock back inside me.

When I can tell he’s about to come, I bare down, squirting like I said I would for him.

He moans low and deep, and his eyes roll back into his head.

“My gorgeous girl . . . Feels so right! God!” He shakes, falls apart and instead of coming inside me, he pulls out and jacks off all over the seat, adding his secretions to mine.

A black light isn’t going to be enough.

“We’re giving this car to Riot as a parting gift,” he says once he’s caught his breath, “since we took your Veyron away from him.”

He takes a long slow lick.

And as his tongue’s extended, swiping at the seat, I dance my toe up into his wet mouth.

“I love you, and if you ever try to shave me again, I won’t ever have anal with you, or have your kid,” I say, gasping for air. My heart is racing from everything he just did to me. “Now, get me out of this sickening, stolen vehicle and fuck me properly—give me your come, sweetheart.”

“Say that again.” His eyes light up.

“I said, get your fucking shit together, Vapor. Fuck me on a preauthorized, steam cleaned mattress.”

His eyes go wide and he stops breathing.

“Oh, yeah, and I got the birth control shot last week . . .”

His head drops, and I cough and sputter for a moment as I slip the key to the cuffs out of my mouth and chuckle.

Didn’t see me steal that from your pockets, did you, caveman?

“You’re not the only one that’s mastered the gag reflex. I’ve been practicing that, too. Ever since you stole my chip out of my neck, I knew I had to be on par with you.”

“At least I’ve mastered you and your mouth.” He bites the key, removes it from me and right when I think he’s going to unlock me, he does the unthinkable.

He drops the key into the pool of our filth, grabs a handful of our combined fluids from the seat and smears them all over my chest.

“Here’s to germs and come and babies.”

I smile. “Here’s to being a thief like my man.”

“You know what I really want to hear—say it.” His shoulders round as he tries to sit up straight, but the space won’t accommodate his height.

“I can’t believe you’re asking this of me.” I can’t stop smiling either—my jaw is actually starting to ache.

“Say it,” he repeats with a glint in his eye and a twisted smile in place. “I’m not letting you go ‘til you do.”

“Fine, you fucker—but only for this one night. And if anyone asks, I’m denying I ever said it.” I look him in the eyes.

“You’re stalling, gorgeous,” he says, grinning harder.

“Because I thought I’d warn you first—tomorrow I’m taking Rich down so your gloating won’t last long . . .” I stare at him, waiting for a reaction. There’s no discernible change in his facial expression.

“Yeah, that’s great. Now say it,” he huffs, rolling his eyes.

I lean in and kiss him, then take a deep breath. “You, sir, are a dirty son of a bitch, and in this moment, you’re slicker than Ides.”

“Thank God. Now I can release you and take your ass back inside. I’ll show you why I’m slicker.” He drags his finger over the remaining drip at the slit of his cock, and gives me a wicked grin.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. He pulls it out and answers, “Hey, you got Libby?”

I lean in to listen to the call.

It’s faint, but I can make out a few words here and there . . . Something about how she leaped across the room to get to Westin and how the blonde woman, Lisa, Rich’s mistress, was amazing at helping him out.

“No shit? He was beating Lisa, too?”

“Yep, and blondie’s with me now,” Westin says so loud I can hear it without any problem.

Nick goes ahead and puts it on speaker phone so I can hear the rest of what they’re saying.

“Okay, so this means Rich is on his way right now to get his car back? He’s tracked us down?” Nick gives me a look of utter satisfaction.

“Yep, and it bought me the perfect amount of time so I could get in here and retrieve Libby, leave behind the package and get the hell out. It should time out in twenty minutes,” he says.

“The weasel better work,” Nick replies.

“It will,” I answer for both of them.

“Get out now. He should be there soon. Time your weasel as well, and I’ll see you later at the rendezvous. Great working with ya again, man.”

“You, too, Fingers. You did a great job. The best I’ve ever seen from you.” Nick smiles at me, and my chest expands as I almost float away.