Slide Job (Cameron Motorsports) (15 page)

The stiffness of her movement and the lightest of moans reminded him she was recently injured. He pulled back with a start, mortified he’d gotten so carried away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She patted his thigh, which didn’t help to lessen the ache of his own yearning. “I’m okay, Tyler. Don’t worry about it.”

In an effort to lighten the moment, he tried another tack. “Since kissing is out, I have a question for you. What’s with the baby shoe? Annie keeps telling me she needs to be at the race to give you Lily’s shoe. It seems very important to her. Who is Lily?”

It looked to him like her fair skin paled even more. She took a deep drink of wine and an even deeper breath. Exhaling slowly, she looked at him. Naked grief lay bleeding in her eyes.

“Lily was my little girl.”

“Was?”

“She’s dead now.”

The simplicity of the statement and the softness with which she delivered it struck him like a hammer blow. “Morgan, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Silently he cursed himself for being an insensitive fool. Shocked, he sat in silence. He hadn’t known.

“It’s okay, really. It’s been almost six years, and I know it wasn’t on my bio for the show. Now you’re probably wondering why.”

“I guess I am.” He didn’t want to know. He could see silent resignation in the set of her shoulders. In her honest, straight-forward way, she would tell him. Bound by his contract for the series, any information he could find out should be used to spice up the show and raise the ratings. For once in his life he didn’t want to know someone’s secrets.

No way would she ever understand it was his job to use people’s secrets against them. Their weakness gave him the advantage when setting up the reality shows. He could set up situations which constantly pushed their mental buttons. It was one of the main reasons his shows were so popular.

“No, no. It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

She laughed a bitter sound. “I guess it must have been on my mind anyway. In part, it was the worst mistake I ever made.”

He watched helplessly when she ran an agitated hand through her hair. “I was twenty-one. I’d pretty much raced all my life until I met Josh. He’d come with some friends to the track, hung out afterwards and asked me for a date.”

Her voice sounded flat to him. Void of expression, like the story belonged to someone else.

“You know how it goes. One thing led to another and three months later, I was pregnant. I gave him credit at first, for doing the right thing and marrying me. I loved him. At least I thought I did.”

Quietly he sat, held in thrall by her silent dignity. She gazed at the sky a moment, watched the clouds move over the sun, covering the blue with gray.

“Things came easy to me. School work was a breeze. My grades were great, even with the racing. I won championship after championship in one series after another. Naively, I assumed my marriage would work the same way.” Pausing, she took another deep drink of wine and emptied her glass. She didn’t look at him now. She stared straight ahead, ensnared by her past.

“Lily came, and Josh started working a lot of overtime. He pretty much ignored her. Being angry at him, I focused all my attention on Lily. Looking back and knowing what I know now, I should have made him more of a priority. I understand now that it takes two people to make a relationship work. I didn’t then. I convinced myself Lily was a baby and needed all the attention. He’d just have to deal.”

Tyler gave in to his need to touch her. He reached over to rub his hand in circles on her shoulder. Funny, he needed the comfort. His heart ached for the young girl she had been.

“By the time Lily was two and a half, she knew who her daddy was. Even if he ignored her most of the time. She’d cry when he’d leave. It was awful. One night we got in a fight about it. He told me he needed to go to the store and I begged him to take her. Just so she could spend some time with him.”

Annie’s smiling face at two years old appeared in his mind’s eye. A little blond
e-haired angel, face and fingers covered with chocolate icing from her birthday cake. How could a man not love that?

Morgan hiccupped and a single tear slipped down her cheek.

“The police came to the door later that night to tell me there’d been an accident. Josh’s car had pulled out in front of a tractor-trailer and been broadsided. I remember it so clearly. They asked me if I knew who Jolene Johnson was, over and over.” Another tear fell and she swiped at it with a shaking hand.

“You’d think it wouldn’t upset me so much.” With a tinny laugh, she continued. “All three people in the car were killed: Josh, Lily and Jolene. Jolene had been the one driving Josh’s car.”

Tyler wanted to put his hands over his ears and go
la-la-la
so he didn’t have to listen to any more. Her pain became a living thing sitting between them. “Morgan. Stop. You don’t have to do this.”

“Oh, it gets better. The investigation revealed Jolene had been Josh’s mistress since the day we were married. She was his high school sweetheart and they’d never really broken up. How’s that for being oblivious?” Her voice took on a bitter note. “All his late hours were bullshit.”

Tyler watched as she clasped her hands together, folding them as if in silent prayer. Impotent rage surged through him, made him want to slay the demons of her past. It was clear she blamed herself for her daughter’s death. His mind whirled, searching for a way to help erase the pain.

“So, long story short, I had a breakdown. Just freaked. Couldn’t sleep, wouldn’t eat, I couldn’t focus on anything. My parents stepped in. They used their savings to pay for my therapy, and to pay for me to finish college, get my degree. Like Humpty-Dumpty, it took them two years to put the pieces back together again.”

He couldn’t help himself, he had to ask. “After all this, why would you want to be part of a reality series and put yourself under such stress? Don’t you have enough stress with just the racing?”

Tyler watched her when she got up and paced a few steps away from him. She turned back to face him and seemed to be thinking carefully about her answer. “My parents are in a bind right now. If I can win the money from this show, I can pay them back for what they’ve done for me.”

He didn’t think he could be more surprised than he was. “They expect you to pay them back?”

She spoke to him as if he were thick-witted. “Of course not, silly. They love me. They just...they just need the money.” Morgan picked up the empty wine bottle and looked at him sadly. “As for the racing, it’s who I am.” Her eyes burned when she looked at him, she waved the bottle to emphasize her point. “I gave it up once and look what happened. I’ll never give it up for anyone. Ever again.” She held her arms wide, then dropped them as if in defeat, soulful eyes beseeching. “Besides, when I’m on the track, the necessary focus is so intense, it’s the only time I don’t miss my daughter.”

He rose slowly to lead them back, through the maze, to the house. For the first time in his life, he hated his job and questioned his own morality.

Chapter 16

Morgan hugged Jack tight and stepped away from him. “Take care. Be careful and I’ll see you guys in Ohio.” She pulled Phil close and he hugged her in return.

“Don’t worry, just take care of yourself. Jack and I can handle this. Everything will be ready when you get there.” Phil reassured her, his voice sincere.

“Did you boys get the basket Melba fixed for you?” Patty Ann inquired with a grin.

“We sure did, ma’am. Thank you very much. Your southern hospitality sure does ring true. Thanks again.” Jack all but bowed as he shook her hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you. You’ve got a fine family, real fine.”

“Thank you. We think so.” Mrs. Dalton, proud of her large brood, preened just a bit. “Y’all come on back anytime you’re in the neighborhood. Don’t be strangers.”

Morgan waved goodbye until the hauler pulled out of sight. A tiny tug of sadness nipped at her because she wasn’t going with them. It seemed everything was changing. Fast. She followed Patty Ann into the house and to the kitchen.

“Those are some good men you’ve got working for you.”

Softness touched Morgan’s heart when she thought about all the hours she’d spent with Phil and Jack over the years. How hard they worked to be sure she had what she needed to win. “Yes, they are. Very good men.” Her heart fluttered in her chest. It reminded her of how much she missed her dad.

“Morgan. Are you coming to our house?” Annie chirped, when Morgan stepped into the kitchen. What the heck did she mean by that?

Her gazed traveled to Tyler and she couldn’t help but smile. Red-faced and silent, he stood at the counter. Sleeves rolled up and covered in flour. A chair on either side of him held a wriggling giggling young boy. Chris and Jacob were his nephews, each one trying to roll out cookie dough.

“Ah...I’m not sure. I thought I was at your house.”

The precocious child blinked at her. “Nooooo, it’s not. This is Gramma and Grampa’s house.” She bobbed her blonde head. “Our house is down the road. Aunt Stephanie and Aunt Jessica said you should see it, if you like it.”

Patty Ann swept Annie up into her arms as she tried to hide her grin. “Come on, young missy, we need a hand cutting flowers for the dinner table.” With a wink at Tyler and raised eyebrows for Morgan, she carried her bundle of joy out the French doors. Through them, Morgan could see the aunts were already busy cutting baskets of flowers.

“So, I need to see if I like your house. Is that it?” Morgan wandered over and pinched a piece of dough out of Jacob’s bowl. “Oh, sugar cookies. My favorite.” She ruffled her hand through Jacob’s tawny hair and grinned at him as she popped the dough in her mouth. “Mmm. Great job, boys.”

Tyler gazed warmly at her, chagrined. “I hadn’t heard anything about it. I’m sorry. My sisters are forever trying to play matchmakers. It looks as though you’ve made their list.” He shrugged and tried, but couldn’t manage, to look unhappy about it.

It didn’t feel odd when she thought about it, just a little disconcerting to know they’d been the topic of someone’s conversation. Even if she told herself they weren’t really a couple, it felt like the next natural step. To where? Off a cliff? Her intellect argued with her emotion about whether or not it was a good idea. Curiosity aroused, logic flew out the window. Now she wanted to see the house.

She watched as Tyler helped each boy carefully place his cookie sheet in the oven and set the timer. He turned to face her, eyebrows raised in question, drying his hands on a dish towel. “I’ve learned over the years it’s less painful if I just give in. Would you like to take a ride over and see the house after dinner?”

*

Nerves danced along his skin when he opened the front door for her. He felt silly being this nervous. For some crazy reason, it was important to him. Tyler wanted her to like it. No, love it. As much as he did. This had been his first solo project after his failed marriage. He remembered poring for hours over home plan after home plan. Finally he’d settled on this lovely gothic style.

Warm, brown stone-stacked walls, with a deep, dark brown high-pitched roof. Beautifully arched windows complete with comfy padded seats nestled inside. Riots of orange lilies, planted by his sisters, graced the stone walk to welcome weary travelers.

Nothing like the brick monstrosity his parents lived in. It suited their constantly entertaining lifestyle, but he’d wanted something different. Intimate. Only four bedrooms, not eight. Spending so much time in the public eye, he’d wanted something private. Something he would share with only a special few.

“It’s quite a bit smaller than my parents’ house.”

They wandered from the entryway, across a pale, hardwood floor, through a large great room with butter yellow walls and golden oak furniture. A wall of windows graced the back of the room, bordering the kitchen.

“Wow, this is some kitchen.” Morgan grinned at him, folding her arms under her breasts in an unconscious gesture, giving an admiring glance to the top-of-the-line appliances. “Do you cook?” She unfolded her arms and ran one slim finger along the sleek, beige granite counter top.

He tried to focus. Well, really he did focus, on her soft lips, her stroking hands, and the slight rise and fall of her breasts. How she would feel underneath him.

“Ah, I haven’t cooked here yet. We aren’t completely moved in for another month or so. I’m still working out of L.A.”

“Everything looks new. Just waiting for a family.” Morgan slapped her hand against her mouth. “Oops! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stick my foot in my mouth. You and Annie are a family.” Her pale skin flushed bright pink. He caught the forlorn look in her eyes before she lowered them to gaze at the floor.

A family. Such simple words. So much pain. Annie needed someone stable in her life. Someone who cared for and about her.

“Someone like you.” Oh, God. Did he really say that out loud? He couldn’t risk their hearts carelessly. Their?

“What? Someone like me, what?” Confused, she looked at him with a frown, her sweet, pink lips pursed together.

He needed to touch her. Two steps and he stood before her. He ran his hands on either side of her head, his fingers splaying through her curls. “Nothing. Never mind.”

Her lips tasted of sugar cookie dough; her heat invited him further. Tyler gathered her close, wanting to feel her yielding flesh against him. Hands open wide, he smoothed them down her back and felt her muscles tighten up as she sucked in her breath. What was he thinking? Thinking only of his need for her, he’d hurt her again. Fool.

He vowed to change that right this moment. To give her something no one else ever had. “I’m sorry. I keep forgetting you’re not healed yet.”

She smiled at him, a smile wrapped in heat and promise. “I keep forgetting myself. I’m not used to being cuddled all the time. It’s a new experience for me.”

“Well, you should get used to it.” He grasped her hand and led her toward the stairway.

Morgan dug her heels into the floor to stop their forward progress. “Why? Why should I get used to it? You mean depend on someone? No way. Just when you need them, they disappear. No thanks. Not me.” She held out her hand, palm facing him as if to block him. “We had a good time, let’s just leave it at that.”

Tyler watched her upraised hand tell one story and the beseeching look in her eyes tell another. “When was the last time you had a decent relationship with a man?” he queried softly. His unwavering stare tightly pinned the wild gaze in her bourbon-colored eyes. Needing to do something with his hands besides reach for her, he put them in his pockets.

Panic crossed her face as she looked at him. “Are you crazy? I don’t have room in my life for a,” she raised her hands in the air making quotation marks with her fingers, “relationship.”

He could feel her practically buzz with nervous energy as she started pacing in front of him.

“I travel too much. My life is too full.”

Finally, his breathing calmed even as his libido settled. He knew what he could give her. “Okay, okay, that’s fine,” he crooned to her. Giving in, he reached for her. Gently, like he would touch a frightened animal, he soothed her. “It’s all right. We’ll let it go for now. Walk with me. I’d like to show you the upstairs.”

Hand in hand, they ascended the curving oak staircase. Down the open hallway, Tyler led her from room to room. “This will be Annie’s room.”

He opened the door to a room meant for a fairy princess and heard Morgan sigh with what he thought might be longing. A white computer workstation, complete with computer and printer, rested beside a white canopied four-poster bed. The spread displayed a pink cabbage rose pattern that mimicked the small pink rosebuds in the ivory wallpaper. Each design echoed the soft rose-colored carpet blanketing the floor.

“This room is mine.” The wide paneled oak door slid open quietly to reveal a large room with a fireplace. The ceiling slanted upward and half of it was made of glass. The bed, covered in golden velvet, rested under the huge skylight, decked with mounds of pillows. Brand new candles rested on every surface.

“It’s beautiful.” Morgan sighed in wonder.

The moon rose in perfect harmony with the stars, to shine down on them from a sky dressed in midnight blue.

“I bet it’s lovely with the candles lit.” Her hands clasped in front of her, she wandered the room.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” He moved to the empty fireplace and took the lighter off the mantle. A thrill coursed through him as he moved around, lighting candle after candle. Her eyes shone brighter and her smile became larger with each one. The smallest things seemed to please her.

She came to him then. Eyes full of feeling, she reached for his hand. “Touch me,” she whispered to him, almost shyly. Quite a change from the wild love he’d tasted from her before, but no less exciting.

“I will, I’ll touch you.” He kissed her gently and slipped her shirt over her head. “You have to rest, so you can’t touch me. It’s my turn.”

Not looking at her, he crossed the room to search his dresser. He removed an octagonal jar of amber liquid and carried it back to where she stood in her slender bra and jeans. “This should help your—oh, Morgan.” Stunned, he stared at her. Dark purplish-red bruises almost two inches wide, shaped like straps, covered her shoulders.

He reached out. His hand hovered just above a golf-ball-sized bruise on the outside of her left shoulder. “What is this?”

She looked down at herself, back at him. “It’s nothing. A rock flew up and caught me in the last race. Job hazard, that’s all.”

“And these?” He waved his hands lightly around her to encompass the rest of the marks. “A job hazard as well?” He worked to keep the anger out of his voice. That she should be so cavalier about injury to herself raised his ire.

“What’s wrong? Why are you upset? It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

She was right. He didn’t like it. “You don’t care if you hurt yourself?”

Frustrated, she shook her head and reached for her shirt. “Of course I care. I don’t like it. Only a fool would like to walk around bruised and aching. But it happens. I don’t dwell on it. Maybe this is a bad idea.”

Tyler remembered what it felt like to watch her car tumbling over and over again. Literally flying apart, with her inside. His stomach somersaulted and his heart jumped inside his chest. She was right, he knew. Bruises were small potatoes compared to fact that she could die out there. Doing what she loved. Tenderness swamped him. Feelings he couldn’t yet voice rose up inside him.

“I’m sorry, Morgan. It just shocked me to see real evidence of how dangerous your job is. I apologize.” Tyler tugged her shirt out of her hands and tossed it on the lounge. “Relax. Let me rub some of this liniment on your back. Melba makes it up with wintergreen and a bunch of other stuff. It always works miracles on my tired muscles.”

*

The soft flicker of candlelight painted the room with a mellow glow. Darkness wrapped the room with silence. Only the rustle of clothing disturbed the night.

Tyler’s hands felt wonderful as they caressed her back. Long, smooth strokes glided over her, stretching and soothing her aching muscles. “Do you mind if I lie down?” Her voice, soft in the pale light, came out as a whisper.

“Not at all. Why don’t you take your pants off before you do?”

Morgan slipped off her shoes and unbuttoned her jeans. She stepped out of them, revealing more bruises on her thighs.

She’d never been in a candle-lit room with a man. It was one of those private, girly girl dreams that tough girl Morgan kept hidden from the world. She thought it divine. Sitting on the bed, she rolled over onto her stomach and stretched out. A pillow under her stomach helped to keep the pressure off her bruises. Several more pillows were pushed to the floor. “Oh, great bed. Help yourself if you want to rub some more.”

“As you wish.”

The words pierced her heart. They were the same ones her father said to her and her mother over and over again for years. Ever since he’d heard them in that princess movie. Her eyes welled up with tears she willed not to fall. For her dad they meant,
I love you
. They couldn’t mean that for Tyler. Could they? No. No. Her panicked mind reassured her. They were just a turn of phrase. That’s all.