Slow Burn - a Novel: The Elite (20 page)

I shook my head. “No, no thanks. I’ll be all right. Like I said, we should be getting out of here in a few hours. Tomorrow’s gonna be a bitch though…”

Nick chuckled. “The curse of owning a coffee shop, huh? No sleeping in.”

“Ever,” I added, smiling at the humor in his voice. Things were starting to click back into place and feel right again.

There was only one thing missing.

I drew in a steeling breath and turned away from the scene in front of the hospital, ducking my chin to not be overheard. “Listen, Nick, I’m sorry. About earlier.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do. So, just listen, please.”

“All right,” he drawled, a hint of a smile in his tone.

“I’m not good at this stuff,” I sucked in a quick sigh. “Terrible, really.”

“This stuff, being…?”

He was gonna make me spell it out. “Relationships. Whatever this thing is between us. It’s new and I like it but, it scares me.”

“Carly, listen, you have nothing to be afraid of. I’m not going to hurt you.”

I sucked in my bottom lip, so desperately wishing I could believe him.

“Remember that day, right after we met, and you told me you don’t know who I am and I rattled off a bunch of obnoxious trivia?”

I smiled at the memory. “Yes.”

“All right, good. Here’s a little more. The personal shit edition. I’ve never been in love before. I don’t have a dramatic heartbreak hotel kind of backstory. My life was simple up until about a year ago. I was a Marine. I went where I was supposed to, when I was supposed to, to do what I was called to do to serve my country and protect my brothers and sisters in arms. That was it. I didn’t let myself get attached to anything. Places didn’t matter as long as I had a bed to sleep in and decent coffee.

“But now, all that’s gone. My whole life is different. I’m staring down the road at the next five, ten, twenty years and wondering what the hell it is I’m supposed to be doing. That’s what I was trying to get away from, back when I was stuck tending bar in Fallon. All I’d do was ask these big questions, not find the answers, and then I’d drink away the questions until the next day.”

Sounded like a solid plan to me.

At least, at the moment.

Nick continued, “I came to Holiday Cove to start a new life, one that had purpose and direction. I met Aaron by happenstance. But meeting you…that was something else.”

My heart thumped against my chest as my breath hitched in my lungs.

“That was like a spark that opened all these new possibilities and gave me a new set of questions to worry about.”

“Like what?” I asked, my voice quivering.

“Mostly, how in the hell am I gonna get this gorgeous, passionate woman in my life and then how do I keep her there?” If his tone wasn’t dead serious, I would have laughed. As it was, it was all I could do to nod along and swallow the lump in my throat.

“I want to be with you Carly. I want us to ride this out and see where it takes us. But, we can’t do that if you won’t let me in. I can’t make you. I don’t want to be the asshat that chases you around when you’re not interested. So, just tell me, what do you want? What’s your big question?”

“I don’t know if I have a big question…”

More accurately, I had ten thousand smaller ones. Firing off day and night.

“I think you do. Something is holding you back from this, from me. I want to know what it is.”

I pushed off the stone bench and wandered to the edge of the sidewalk, each step slow and calculated as my mind reached for the answer to give him. When I reached the edge, I teetered on the curb and stared out over the speckling of cars in the lot, illuminated under the street lights along the medians.

“I want to be with you too, Nick.”

My heart slammed into my chest with added urgency in the pause between my declaration and Nick’s reply, “Then what’s the roadblock? I’m right here.”

“I don’t know.”

Nick sighed.

“I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry, Carly, just figure it out. You say you want to be with me, but then you can’t tell me why you’re holding back from me.”

“I just told you I was sorry about earlier today!” I fired back, my pulse skyrocketing for a completely different reason. I stalked back to the bench and threw myself down onto it with a thump. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done this, Nick. And last time…”

“Stop! You have to stop comparing me to the last guy, all right? Give me a chance to be me. Nick.”

He hadn’t yelled, or really raised his voice, but his words had the same impact as if he had. My mouth dropped open but there was nothing left to say. I couldn’t give him the answers he wanted and I wasn’t sure I could give him the life or relationship he wanted. There had been a time when all I had wanted was to be in love, get married, travel, have a family, and be like everyone else.

But those days were ancient history.

“I have to go,” I snapped. “Alesha’s doctor needs to talk to me.”

Nick hesitated. “All right.”

“Goodbye, Nick.”

“Goodnight, Carly.”

I clicked off the call and bent forward as a roll of nausea washed over me.
What am I doing
?

When the answers didn’t come, I pushed up and went back to Alesha’s room. She was still sleeping peacefully among her collection of monitors so I sank back into the stuffed chair and twisted myself up like a pretzel to fold my legs up under me and rested one cheek against the arm. It wasn’t long before the tears of hurt, exhaustion and frustration came tumbling down my face, until I finally dozed off.

* * * *

In the early morning, around three o’clock, Alesha’s final bag of fluids had finished cycling through her and after a final check and set of parting instructions from her doctor—and Gemma—she was released. I drove her home, but she was still too drowsy and in her own world to have much of a conversation, so I held back the urge to dump all my questions, thoughts, and fears onto her.

When I finally crawled into my bed and buried myself under the covers, I had less than three hours until my alarm clock would be screaming at me to get up again. With a heavy sigh, I shut my eyes and tried to power down my busy mind, but it was content to race on forever, my thoughts zinging between Alesha, the baby, Nick, and then back through again—with an occasional scone idea thrown in for good measure—and the hours evaporated.

The alarm rang all too soon and I was thrown back into action.

Ready or not.

Nick

Between my unsettled mind and Lady’s howling to get into the bed beside me, I woke up craving a cup of coffee and despite the awkward ending to the conversation with Carly the night before—I knew where I needed to go. I dressed quickly, snapped a leash on Lady, and set off for
The Siren
. When I pulled into the lot there was still half an hour until official business hours started. I tucked Lady under my arm and went up to the front doors and peeked inside. There was no sign of Carly, but the lights were on. I went around the side of the building and knocked on the back door.

The door flew open seconds later, and I watched Carly’s face go from irritation to surprise, her eyebrows shooting halfway up her forehead. She had her blonde and pink waves tied up in a high ponytail, covered by a navy blue bandanna. “What are you doing here?” Her eyes dropped to the squirming pup in my arms. “She can’t be back here.”

“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” I quipped.

She ignored me and pat Lady on the head. She licked Carly’s hand and wriggled even more in my hold. “Are you returning her?”

“No. I thought I could come and help you get through the morning shift.”

Her brows dropped and fell together. “What? Why?”

“Damn, Carly. What’s with the third degree? I’m trying to be nice and help you out.”

She pressed her eyes closed and took a deep breath. “Sorry,” she said, her lashes fluttering open again. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m just working on very little sleep and a helluva lot of stress and it’s just so frustrating.”

“I figured you had a long night and might need an extra set of hands to get through the day. Aaron’s off at an auction and told me to take the morning off.”

Carly nodded. “Okay.”

“So, can we come inside?” I asked, holding up the puppy.

Carly smiled at Lady. “You can. She can’t. However, I happen to know someone who would be very happy to see her…” her lips quirked and I thought I caught a glimmer of tears forming in her eyes before she reached for the puppy and took her gently from my arms. “If you’ll watch the ovens and take out the scones when that timer goes off, I’ll run her over to see Alesha.”

She backed up a step to let me inside and we switched places, leaving me inside the kitchen and her with her hand braced on the door handle. “How is she?” I asked, absently locating the timer Carly had mentioned.

Carly’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she struggled for control.

“What’s wrong?” I reached for her and she sagged into my chest, clutching Lady in between us. “Hey, you’re okay. Is she sick? What did the doctors say?”

“She’s pregnant, Nick.”

I heard her, but the words didn’t register at first. I hadn’t expected that. Granted, Alesha looked a lot older than her seventeen years, but still…after getting to know her over the past few weeks, it was hard to wrap my mind around the idea of her being a mother.

“I didn’t tell you last night because I didn’t think I should say anything. It’s not my news after all. But, I have to tell
someone
before I explode! My mind has been racing ever since I found out. I couldn’t sleep last night. I’m terrified for her.”

I held her as tightly as I could without squashing Lady. “Wow.”

Carly giggled into my shoulder at my baffled response. “Yeah.”

“Who’s the…uhm…father?”

“I don’t know for sure, but she broke up with a guy back home before coming here for the summer. I don’t know a lot about him, other than his first name and that he’s in his first year of college. I don’t even know where.” Carly paused to heave a long sigh. She backed out of my embrace and used her free hand to wipe away the tears from her eyes. “I should know. That’s all I keep thinking. I’m her sister, for fuck’s sake. I should know who she’s dating, what she’s up to. I mean, it’s not like we really even have a mother at this point. I should’ve been there for her.”

“Carly, that’s not fair. You can’t blame this on yourself,” I reminded her, knowing it was probably wasted breath.

She shook her head. “When our mom left, Alesha was barely in school, and I had to take over as mom in so many ways. Our dad worked a ton and I cooked, cleaned, and since I had a license, I took her to and from her friends’ houses and school activities. I mean, really, I practically
was
her mom for those years. Then, when I got sick of it, I ran away and dove into the complete opposite end of the responsibility pool.”

Her eyes drifted sadly to the wall behind me, and I knew that nothing I could say would reach her ears.

“I just should have stayed…”

A loud beep interrupted both of our thoughts and I jumped at the loud sound, spinning on my heels towards the source. My chest heaved as I realized it was the kitchen timer. “Fuck, that thing’s like a fog horn!” I complained, crossing the kitchen space in three brisk steps to silence the damn thing. “You baking muffins back here or trying to wake the dead?”

Carly giggled and the sound lifted some of the heaviness of the previous moment. “I know, it’s totally obnoxious, but if I’m up front, with the espresso machine or blender turned on, I can’t hear anything and a lot of pastries and stuff can go from perfection to trash within a few minutes.”

“Where are the oven mitts?” I asked, spinning around to check the workspace.

“There,” Carly said, pointing me towards two black pot holders with silicone grippers.

“Okay, I got this. You go see your sister.” I jerked my chin at the back door as I turned toward the oven.

“Thanks, Nick. You have no idea…” her words trailed off, lost in thick emotion. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Carly.” I glanced over my shoulder and caught her big blue eyes. She gave a small smile and disappeared out the back door.

Now we were getting somewhere.

In Carly’s absence, I took care of the shop, and when opening came around and she still wasn’t back, I opened the shop doors and assured the first group of customers that I could take care of them. Most of them had seen me hanging around the shop and knew my name. Within minutes, I was whipping up lattes, warming scones, and blending the occasional fruit smoothie.

“There you are, Mr. Williams,” I said, my voice smooth, confident, as I slid a perfect cappuccino into his waiting hands.

“Thanks, Nick! You should come around more often!”

“I plan on it,” I replied, smiling as he waved on his way to a table.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m here!”

I turned to the arch that led to the kitchen as Carly came barreling out, frantically tying her signature teal apron around her waist. She stopped in her tracks, her hands frozen on the strings of her apron, and surveyed the cafe space that was humming with satisfied customers. I smirked as her gaze drifted over the different cups, plates filled with breakfast treats, and then up at me.

“In another life, I was a barista.” I smiled. “Although, I always thought the term was a little feminine.”

Carly blinked twice. “Why didn’t you tell me? I think I pulled something racing back here once I saw the time.”

I laughed and offered her the caramel sea salt latte I’d made for her just moments before. She gawked at the perfect foam and then burst into laughter.

“Just so you know, I give pretty good massages, too,” I growled into her ear as she took the cup from my hands. “Ya know, in case you need help working out that
kink
.”

Carly’s cheeks flushed and I laughed to myself.

She distracted herself by taking a sip off the top of the drink and moaned with delight.
Just what I wanted to hear
. As I watched her full lips on the side of the cup, I realized it had been far too long since I’d had a taste of them.