Slow Burn (MM) (25 page)

Zack leaped to his feet, all his resolve evaporated. “What the hell happened to you?”

Brody put out his hands, attempting to placate him. “It’s fine, Zack. I’m fine.”

“Like hell it’s fine!” Against his will, he was suddenly up in Brody’s space, hands gentle on his face, making him tilt his chin up to get a better look. The red, raw mark went all the way around. Like someone had tried to strangle him. His left arm was also bandaged around the curve of his biceps. A hint of old blood seeped through the white.

“Wh-what happened?” he asked, even as his brain starting clicking the answer into its proper slot.

“It’s not important, it’s—” Brody stopped. Cut himself off firmly, like he’d caught himself. “No. No, you
should
know. I want you to.” He took a deep breath and met Zack’s gaze. “I caught the killer, the Strangler, the one I’ve been chasing.”

“Who was it?”

“A professor at the university. A fucking philosophy professor of all things, and I may not have put two and two together if not for thinking about what you’d said when…when we argued. But you were right, sometimes I don’t see the obvious. I finally made a connection, though, and I went after her. I went off on my own and would have gotten myself killed, except again, I remembered what you’d said. That I was being an idiot.” Brody rubbed at his bandage. “I called my partner last minute, and he saved me.” Brody moved his hands to Zack’s upper arms and squeezed gently. “Your concern saved me.”

Zack blinked at him. “She…she tried to kill you?”

“Yeah, but she didn’t.” Brody said it like it wasn’t unusual for someone to try to kill him. And in his profession, it probably wasn’t. “She didn’t succeed because you made me think, and sitting there, watching that murderer get hauled away, you’d think…” Brody blinked too. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with thinly held emotion. “I was relieved. For those girls, for those I may have saved. But then I felt…empty. Blank. I finally caught her, and I felt
nothing
. Because all I could think about was what if I’d died and you never knew.”

Zack’s heart was beating too hard at just the thought. It made his hands tingle. “I…I would’ve seen it. On the news.”

Brody shook his head like he was holding back a smile. What the hell was there to smile about?

“No. Not about that. You never would’ve known how I really felt. About you.”

His gaze caught on Brody’s neck, on the angry red mark encircling it. Everything he was saying, both of them standing there, it all began to feel surreal.

Brody had almost died. He was talking about feelings…about how he felt
about Zack…

Zack reminded himself to breathe. He didn’t know what to say, and his mouth was too dry to form words. He’d figured if Brody ever did turn up, it would be to maybe say
thanks for the fun
, but definitely
fuck the hell off.

This? He hadn’t expected.

Brody moved closer, cautiously. “I’ve been a complete ass, and you were right. You called me on my bullshit, and you had every reason. I was a scared, stupid little shit and—” He tightened his hold on Zack’s arms. “I was wrong to push you away. My job, what I do, it isn’t easy, and it won’t be easy to be with you, but you’re too damn important to give up. I know that, hell, I knew that, but…I…I’ve lived my life by this fucked-up set of rules for so long—rules I made for myself because of who I thought I had to be in order to make it. I couldn’t just stop living that way. I didn’t know how. It took nearly getting strangled to realize they’re
my
rules now. It should be what
I
want. Not what someone else thinks I should be.” There was a huff of a laugh, but Zack could see it was hollow. Brody was trying to keep it together. “I always knew I was a cop, but I’ve also always known I was gay. I just… I didn’t want to be, because I knew it’d crush my father, and that had to make me wrong somehow. Maybe undeserving of the badge but definitely undeserving of love. Then…you came along. You proved me wrong. I know you loved me, and I’m sorry I fucked that up.”

Zack looked into those sincere gray eyes, and everything he had told himself, everything he’d decided, fell away. His fear for Brody and what he’d been through, what he went through every day in his job, was very real. But if Brody was brave enough to face his fears, then Zack would be damned if he’d be any less.

He couldn’t stop himself as he launched forward and swept Brody into his arms. He pressed their bodies tight together, reminding himself that Brody was safe and real in his arms. He cupped Brody’s head as he turned his face into the familiar smell of his neck. And Brody clutched him right back. No flinch at the very public arena, just a warm hand resting on his back, pulling Zack irrevocably closer into his arms.

“I want this, Brody.” Zack spoke against Brody’s ear. “Call me a stupid moose—”

“You are a stupid moose.” The voice was equally gravelly with emotion.

Zack laughed, warmth rising up his chest with the feeling

“But you’re my stupid moose. And that’s why I love you.”

Zack pulled back to look Brody in the face. He took a step back while he still had the power to manage it. “I… God, Brody, you know I love you too, and that’s why I…I can’t go back to the way it was. I want to do this, but if we do this, I want the whole deal. I can’t be casual. Not with you. I want the good things
and
this scary shit. When the crap of life hits the fan, I want to be there for you. I’m not going to be your dirty secret, and I’m not going back in the closet. I’ve been there, done that, and no way in hell am I going to do that again. So if you can’t—”

“Hey.” Brody cut him off, one of those small, rare smiles brightening his face. “I wouldn’t have come after you if I didn’t intend to go forward. I mean…I’m not going to be jumping on the nearest pride float anytime soon. I’m not going to hide from this anymore either.”

Zack wanted to believe that. He wanted to forget all the hurts of the past and believe that Brody would love him the way they both deserved.

Brody lifted a hand to brush at Zack’s hair, leaving it to cup his jaw. “So…how about this for starters?”

And on the dock, in the early evening with the sun dipping low, seagulls screeching and water splashing against the pier, people bustling, about to begin their weekend, Brody kissed Zack. He clutched at Zack’s back and leaned in, pressing their mouths together, regardless of who might care to see.

It was soft and sweet, with a hint of more to come. It took a few beats before Zack could even respond. Because Brody was kissing him. In the open, with the sun warm on their faces.

Zack couldn’t help the laugh that exploded against Brody’s mouth. He dragged Brody closer, feeling his solid body, and thoroughly took his mouth. He kissed Brody with every inch of emotion he felt for his iron-willed cop. He cupped that gorgeous angular jaw and sipped at Brody’s mouth like it was the beginning and ending of the universe.

Because screw everything, it totally was.

Zack broke the kiss and pulled back. He had to stop at some point or end up shoving Brody aboard and christening his boat in an entirely different way.

Matter of fact…it might be exactly what they needed.

Brody grinned. His face flushed like he knew what Zack was thinking, eyes shining in a way that Zack had only seen glimpses of once. Happiness.

“Well then, Captain.” Brody licked at his lips and attempted to straighten his shirt…and his pants. “Aren’t you going to show me how awesome a job I did?” He pointed to the painted hull.

“
You
did?” Zack shoved at him but had to smile. “You painted for a few hours.
Once
. I’ve worked my ass off to finish
Mary
.”

Brody angled his body to look behind Zack. “Doesn’t look like it. Ass is still there.” He climbed aboard, ignoring Zack’s glare. “Come on. It’ll be dark in a few hours, and then you’ll really get anxious. Let’s go.”

Zack untied the rope and pushed off the dock. “You’re pretty bossy considering you’re not the captain. Don’t make me keelhaul you.”

Brody cracked up as he struggled into a life jacket. They continued to struggle, laugh, and swear their way through
Mary’s
first sail.

They eventually got into a decent rhythm,
Mary
evening out as they hit smoother water, the wind warm with the last hour of the day’s sun. Zach smiled at Brody from across the boat, mostly because he had the man he loved here with him and in his life, but also because he’d managed to tug a ridiculous cap onto Brody’s head in the name of “protecting against skin cancer.” It was too much fun seeing a man like Brody with a hat that read
Killing at sea is definitely going overboard
. Too much fun and inexplicably too sexy.

“We’re going to need to anchor in that cove,” Zack blurted.

“What?” Brody sat up straighter. “Why? Something up with
Mary
?”

He didn’t bother stifling the laugh. “Something is about to be up all right, but
Mary
is fine.”

Brody gave him a half-withering, half-hungry look. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it.”

They anchored in a small bay and lowered the sails. Zack’s heart swelled with what they had, the fragility of life, and all the possibilities for the future. He reached for Brody, but Brody beat him to it, kissing him softly at first, with so much emotion Zack almost melted into the sea; then it grew heated and heavy, desperate from their near miss.

Zack urged him to sit back, clueless as to how they’d maneuver carnal activities on a sloop but knowing they’d figure out a way.

“Sailing is awesome,” he said, panting against Brody’s lips. Zack had one hand already under Brody's shirt, while the other jerked at the zipper of his pants.

Brody rumbled with a laugh. “Amazing what sex can do for your anxiety.”

“Mmm. Shut up and let’s get naked, or we’ll be stuck out here in the dark.”

“I can shine the flashlight while you steer us back.” Brody grinned. “Whatever. I’ll keep you safe.”

And Zack knew he would. He was completely head over heels for this man, and for once in his life, he knew someone felt the same about him, no special conditions, catch, or sub-clause. It was simply the two of them, and it was exactly what he’d always wanted.

Epilogue

One month later…

Brody flipped his phone over and over in his hand, waiting on his lunch date.

Lunch. Date.

It sounded very relationship-esque, which still sent a spark of nerves and anxiety through him, but it was just Zack. They’d had plenty of meals together before now, but this was the first one they’d called a lunch “date.” Both of them were breaking from work, taking a moment from the rush of their usual days to spend time with each other before going back, back to the other part of their lives, taking a small bit of the person they loved with them.

In Brody’s book, it was a big fucking deal.

“Hey.” Zack took the steps two at a time to the small porch of the restaurant. He wrapped his arms around Brody, squeezing tightly, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. It wasn’t a casual slap-on-the-back hug, nor was it a passionate embrace. It fell somewhere in between and was something they’d silently agreed on for in public.

They both knew who they were as individuals and to each other. Dip-kissing in a restaurant was never going to be their thing.

“Man, I’m starving. This place better have good Italian.” Zack took the seat right beside him and scooted his chair in, a slow smile spreading across his face as their knees bumped, and Zack made sure to rub once for good measure and leave his leg pressed there.

“You’re always starving,” Brody told him. “And it’s
excellent
Italian. I wouldn’t be a regular otherwise. Two chicken parm specials,” he told the waitress once she approached.

Zack glanced over at him, the look in his brown eyes softening. “And a water to drink,” he added. “Awww. You ordered for me. That’s so sweet and old-fashioned,” he teased.

“Fuck off.” Brody took a sip of his iced tea.

“So today is your first official day back with Lamont, right? How’s it going?”

“Same as always,” he was happy to report.

“Good. I am surprised I didn’t get thrown over in favor of lunch with your infamous partner in crime. Bah dum dum.” Zack hit an air cymbal.

“You’ve been waiting all morning to say that, haven’t you?”

“All damn morning.” He grinned, his teeth shining from the deep tan on his face. Zack and Brody had taken to sailing. And anchoring in coves. A lot.

Brody shook his head but was smiling too. “He’s meeting his wife for lunch today or I might’ve.”

“I’m wounded.” Zack tapped his straw against the table to push it through the paper. “Maybe I can meet him some other time, though.” His expression was one of casual small talk, but Brody knew his reaction and response mattered.

“Yeah. I want you to.” Brody nodded. “You’ll like Lamont; he’s cool. And he’ll think you’re a fucking trip.”

“That’s because I
am
a fucking trip.” Zack thanked the waitress once his water arrived and drank half of it in a few sips.

Their side salads arrived, and Brody was handing over his peperoncini peppers when his phone vibrated on the table. “Hey. What’s up?” he answered, seeing Lamont’s name.

“My appetite. Felicia canceled on me. You eat yet?”

Brody glanced over at Zack, who wasn’t waiting on Brody before digging into his salad. It was one of the many things he’d learned about Zack. His Zack. The man waited on no one to eat. He also followed a detailed, drawn-out, getting-ready-for-bed ritual, and he never got road rage. Like…ever. Even in rush hour.

“I was just getting ready to. Want to join me?”

“Yeah. Where are you?”

“We’re at Marie’s.”

Zack’s shot a look at him, a bit of Italian dressing on his lips.

“I’ll put in an order for you. Lasagna?”

“You know it. You said ‘we’?”

Zack’s brown eyes got impossibly wider as he licked at his lips. His many expressions showed practically every emotion, and Brody loved that about him. He rarely had to guess what Zack was thinking because it’d be written all over his face.