Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality (14 page)

Many highly sensitive individuals have been blessed with the experience of the orgasmic blissful state in aloneness; for example, while out in nature or enraptured by music or dance. They are suddenly touched and graced by the Divine because of such an intense (but not tense) immersion in the body through the senses that they dissolve into the present moment. When at one with our senses there is an openness, an invitation and receptivity to the encompassing sacred forces of Divine creation.

When we have a regular long-term partner we have an opportunity to make love with another person frequently. This is the way we can help each other to access our inner orgasmic potential. We engage the inbuilt resources of the body (represented by dynamic/receptive forces) to assist ourselves in rising a few rungs on the inner ladder of growth. One thing to note is that one partner having an orgasmic experience does not guarantee that the other partner will move into the same ecstatic space or share the same experience. It may happen, but not necessarily.

Remember that the source of the orgasmic state lies within each individual and is not really dependent on another person. In a couple constellation one partner may, in fact, be more sensitive on a cellular level than the other partner, which can lead to a discrepancy of experience while having sex. For example, after some hours of making love, one partner may be entering an orgasmic state while the other is partially asleep or generally absent. The initial contact of the vagina and penis, and the ensuing inner electromagnetic circulation, initiates the process and acts as a trigger; however, the ultimate elevated experience will often be that of one person only.

Marc David writes that, “What we oftentimes label as anomalous or miraculous are simply latent biological traits activated once we are touched by the hand of the Divine” (
The Slow Down Diet
). He believes that we are at the frontier of what we know about the capabilities of the human form, and that what we know is but the tiniest fraction of what is possible. Is it possible that the fulfillment of your metabolic destiny is to be found inside you, intelligently seeded there and awaiting your discovery?

As I see it, the missing link for humans, the seed of intelligence and ultimate source of our health and well-being, lies in how we have sex, how we use our bodies and share ourselves sexually. The metabolic powers of the sacred become engaged during slow sex because there is an honoring of the eternal wisdom lodged in the body.

Marc David writes:

. . . the sacred has its own terms that are available to all in this time and place, and whose terms are these: love, truth, courage, commitment, compassion, forgiveness, faith, and surrender. These eight sacred metabolizers—and no doubt there are more—are sacred because such soul qualities bring us closer to the heart of the Divine, to the intelligence that created us. By embodying them we become more like the source from whence we came, more of who we are meant to be and who we know, somewhere inside, we want to be. And I’m suggesting that when activated in our system, the eight sacred metabolizers can produce profound healings and powers, metabolic breakthroughs, and rejuvenating effects on body and spirit. (
The Slow Down Diet
)

In slow sex, where relaxation, awareness, quality, rhythm, pleasure, and right thought is incorporated into our way of having sex, we begin to find ourselves naturally aligned with the eight sacred metabolic forces of love, truth, courage, commitment, compassion, forgiveness, faith, and surrender.

Love:
When we enter sex with awareness we touch the being as the source of love lying within. Love is the alchemical by-product of awareness, and ordinary mechanical or routine sex can be transformed into love through engaging awareness.

Truth:
When we enter sex it is our intention to live the truth of our bodies, honor and respect their intelligence, and create a situation in which we embody and appreciate our human sexual design.

Courage:
When we enter sex a certain courage is needed to be curious enough about ourselves and be willing to not know. We need courage to challenge and be creative with our habits and patterns in order to live according to a higher sexual vision.

Commitment:
To make a shift in consciousness, as is required in slow sex, requires commitment to the now. Commitment is part of personal and spiritual transformation. It is not an obligation, but more a sense of seeking to find out who we really are, and to make time and space for the sexual exchange as often as possible.

Compassion:
With a new approach we are able to enter sex with compassion and understanding for our bodies and for each other. We have compassion for the crucial complementary differences between male and female systems.

Forgiveness:
To enter into sex requires that sometimes we have to forgive ourselves and/or others. This will usually entail releasing, through forgiveness, certain events or acts from the past.

Faith:
It takes faith to leap into the unknown and trust that such elevated experiences are available to a human being.

Surrender:
To approach sex in a spiritual and sacred way requires that we surrender ourselves to the intelligence of nature by relaxing into our bodies and giving way to forces greater than ourselves.

Exercise: Using Prayer to Invite the Divine

Blessing Your Union

One beautiful way to begin lovemaking is with a blessing or prayer, silent, spoken, or shared.

1. Kneel or sit opposite each other and bring your hands together in prayer position in front of your chest and heart. Begin by closing your eyes, taking a breath, and relaxing into yourself.
   
2. When you feel ready you can open your eyes and hold a soft eye connection with your partner for a while.
   
3. Speak your prayer (or say it silently), and then lean forward with lowered heads and bow to each other, letting your foreheads rest together.
   

When you bless and pray you invite the Divine to participate in your love creation. You attract unforeseen supportive forces into the electromagnetic field around and beyond you.

Exercise: Using Ritual to Invoke the Sacred

Create an Atmosphere of Love

Ritual is a powerful way of creating an atmosphere for the sacred. Following certain steps or protocol helps you to crystallize your intention and focus your awareness with the senses tuned in to the present moment. There are many ways that a ritual can be performed and many different elements that can be included. The ritual space (the bedroom, for instance) needs to be prepared and beautified so as to invite the spirits. Spirits love beauty so if you don’t know many details about creating ritual, then let pure beauty be your guide. Flowers, low lights, candles, beautiful embroidered cloths, crystals, treasured or sacred objects, fragrance, and music can all be incorporated into the ritual arrangement. Having your heart in the right place is what counts most.

Focus Your Sacred Intention with an Altar

An altar can be created as a focus for your intention to invite the sacred, perhaps on a small round table or in an alcove. You might like some of the following suggestions for how to arrange your altar, or perhaps you already have some ideas of your own.

• Place crystals as the centerpiece of the altar to represent and channel a certain quality, such as love or compassion, into the atmosphere.
  
• Arrange three crystals at the center to honor, give gratitude to, and ask for blessings from Mother Earth (the feminine), Father Sky (the masculine), and the Great Spirit that breathes life into this union.
  
• Flowers or a candle can also be placed in the center of the altar.
  
• Set any other precious, meaningful, or high-frequency objects around the central piece in a way that is energetically or visually meaningful to you.
  
• Photographs and pictures can also be used to invite particular energies into your sacred space.
  
• A glass of fresh drinking water is nice for the spirits, too.
  

Use Ritual to Come into Your Body in the Present Moment

A ritual will usually begin with (or along the way include) some kind of prayers or blessings, as mentioned in the previous section. You may wish to work out a specific sequence of words accompanied by certain movements that you engage in as a way of beginning every time you make love. Ritualized steps function to bring us step-by-step into the body and into the present. A part of a ritual (or the whole ritual) can also take the form of a meditation, dance, or breathing exercise. There are a variety of ways that can assist us in bringing the body, the awareness, and the senses into focus and alignment.

Select something you enjoy that is meaningful to you. Even something simple like bowing down to each other and then lying down separately and relaxing into your bodies, resting in the awareness for ten to twenty minutes, is a good preparation (as described at the end of chapter 4).

Move Consciously into Physical Contact