Snared (Jaded Regret #1) (11 page)

“Johnny . . .”

He held up his hands. “She’s been talking about this for a while, way before she knew anything about your shop closing. It helps both of us, Linc. We will arrange for a company to pack it all up and bring it down to us.”

Linc shook his head. “But, Johnny . . .”

“Do you want to talk to Bex? You know how she gets when questioned.” Johnny took out his phone and pulled up Bex’s name, hovering his finger over the button to call her.

They laughed. Wasn’t that the damn truth. I allowed a small smile, but laughter was hard pressed with me. “No,” Linc said, “I don’t want to cross that woman. The hottest thing in rock music but scary as hell.”

“She’s not as scary now,” I said. “Being a mom has changed her. Mostly. Well, okay, she can still be a stubborn bitch, but that’s why we love her.”

“I love that woman more than life itself, and even I don’t want to cross her,” Johnny said.

They laughed again, lightening the mood. “Are you sure?” Linc gazed around the store. While a lot had been purchased, there was still quite a bit still to go. Pride filled my heart. That was my sister, all right. Bex, the ball buster who would give you the shirt off her back. We knew what it was like to go without and now all she wanted to do was help others.

“Beyond sure,” Johnny said. “You give us a total, and we’ll have Natalie wire you the money.” He took an envelope out of his back pocket. “Oh, Bex wanted you to have these, too.”

Linc took the envelope like it was a snake that might come out and bite him. When he opened it and saw they were VIP tickets to our Orlando concert, tears filled the big rocker’s eyes. “Get that bitch on the phone,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I have a bone to pick with her.”

“I’m fucking proud to be part of this band,” I said, setting my sweet tea down next to my sandwich and chips. Johnny and I had stopped for lunch before heading back home. We were both wearing hats low over our eyes, and so far, we hadn’t been spotted. Johnny had left Heath with Bex, so we were on our own.

“You and Bex were the beginning of this band,” Johnny said, pausing to chew. “If it weren’t for the two of you, there would be no Jaded Regret.”

“I don’t think of shit like that,” I said. “She just bought hundreds of thousands of dollars of instruments to not only help Linc, but to help all these kids as well.”

Johnny nodded. “Yes, she did.”

Silence stretched over us for a few minutes as we ate, both of us lost in our thoughts. Bex had not only created a safe place for kids who had aged out of the system to learn how to be adults, but now she was going to give teens a place to escape life in a healthy way and mentor them, too.

What would’ve happened had we had someone like her in our corner when we were impressionable teenagers? Thankfully, we’d turned to each other and played music instead of what we could’ve turned to, but still.

I remembered the day I first laid eyes on Bexley Bryant like it was yesterday
.

Natalie and I sat outside, anything to escape being inside the house. We’d only been here a few weeks. We had no idea how many houses we’d been in over the last four years, but we knew this one would be the last one we’d stay in. We already had plans to get the hell out of here. Natalie was about to age out soon, and there wasn’t any way in hell I’d stay in there without her. It’s not like anyone would care if I disappeared out of the system. That would just be one less kid they had to keep track of, and I didn’t want to be tracked anymore. I wanted to be free of hoping I’d have a family again. I had Natalie. She was all I needed.

We’d almost been adopted once. Until the prospective parents read my file and our family history. They’d gone as far as meeting us and taking us for ice cream. We never saw them again. I’d like to say I was surprised, but I wasn’t.

As we sat there in silence, a nondescript car we knew belonged to one of the social workers pulled up to the curb. She stepped out, her frizzy hair reaching us before she did. We squinted up into the sun, watching as the back door opened and a teenage girl stepped out. My first impression was she was gorgeous, but looked like the most pissed off person I’d ever seen. Her dark hair covered half her face and her dark clothing hid her body.

I immediately connected with her. I didn’t know her name, what her story was, or how long she would be here. She walked up the steps and stopped next to us, silently regarding us. Natalie smiled, but I didn’t. The girl, who I’d later learn was Bex, rolled her eyes at Natalie and nodded her head at me.

“Hey,” was all she said, and I knew this girl would be part of my life forever. Our broken souls connected that day in a way only long lost family could. While some of the guys—okay, all of them—in the foster home drooled over Bex and wanted to get her into their bed, I never saw her that way.

I didn’t even want to think about what had happened the day I found out who had hurt her.

To this day, I would kill anyone who tried to hurt either of my sisters. It had taken me a long time to be okay with Johnny being in Bex’s life. To be honest, it wasn’t until I saw her holding Lennox that I felt like maybe he wouldn’t take her heart and put it in a blender.

“Beau.” Johnny’s voice broke my daydream.

I realized I hadn’t taken another bite of my lunch and probably appeared to be a freak sitting here staring into space. “Sorry. Wow. Don’t know where my head went.”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been fucked up lately,” Johnny said. “Bex is worried as fuck about you. I just know you don’t like people in your business, so I’ve been staying back. Just know, you’re my brother, man. I’m here anytime you need something.”

My chest tightened.
No one will ever love you because you are unlovable
. I exhaled, forcing my hands to pick up my sandwich without shaking.

“You know we’re all a little fucked up,” Johnny continued, used to my silence. “I know we don’t sit down and have heart-to-hearts and shit, but you know a lot about my past. It’s only because of Bex my chest doesn’t tighten up, and I don’t scream in my sleep anymore. You know this, right?”

I nodded. “Thanks, Johnny. I’ve been doing better. Some days are just hard.”

“I don’t need you to tell me everything. I just want you to know you aren’t alone.”

“Beau? Johnny?” I snapped my head up and met the eyes I’d both wished for and dreaded seeing again. Of all the places for her to be today during her lunchtime, it just had to be here.

Johnny beat me to it. “April? Wow. How crazy to run into you here?”

She might’ve said something to him, but I honestly had no idea. “What are you doing here?” Her hypnotizing gaze settled directly on me.

“We went to Beats, the music store that’s closing.” Johnny again took up the slack for me. I hadn’t said a word. I wasn’t even sure I was breathing. My sandwich was stuck in my esophagus and left me unable to speak a word.

“Oh yeah! I heard about that. You came all the way here for that?”

“He’s a friend of ours.” Johnny finally glanced over at me, giving me the “what the hell” look before sliding out of the booth. “Excuse me, April.” He eyed me. “Beau, I’m going to the restroom. You ready to leave when I get back?”

I nodded, my eyes still connected to April’s. Johnny walked away, and April slid into his spot. “It’s great to see you,” April murmured, twisting a straw wrapper with her fingers. “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you again before your concert here.”

I realized I still hadn’t said a word to her and needed to respond. “It’s good to see you, too.”

April was in a pair of black dress pants and a purple silk top. Small pearls dotted her earlobes, and a matching necklace draped around her neck. Her makeup was classy and understated. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I found myself wondering what would happen if I released those buttons and . . .

Damn, I was growing hard. “You on your lunch break?” I had to say something to stop my train of thought. A vision of her creamy skin, bare in front of me, came to my mind.

April nodded. “Yes. You guys were off today?”

“Bex has been busting our asses lately, so we have the day off. We’re heading out on tour soon, so it’s time to wrap up our stuff. Bex is spending time with the kids.”

Her eyes widened, and I realized it was because I’d spoken several sentences at once to her. “I have a question for you.”

Questions unnerved me, but she liked to ask them. Unease settled in my stomach, and I wanted to look away from her, but I didn’t. I nodded once, not trusting myself to say anything.

“I can ask Bex if you want me to, but I was wondering if when you guys came up here for the concert if you’d have time to come to one of the group homes and hang out with the kids? We would run a story here for our paper to help with awareness of the children who are up for adoption. So yeah, we would totally use you.” April laughed, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. I smelled her floral perfume again.

The last thing in the world I wanted to do was go into a group home ever again. I’d had enough of seeing those. However, I wasn’t the boss of this band, and I knew Bex would absolutely want to do it. “I’d say ask Natalie to see what our schedule is like. Bex will want to do it if we have time between our stop here and wherever we go after that.”

“Would you want to do it?”

Ah, so she wanted me to talk about myself. I shrugged. “I do whatever the band does.”

She shook her head, a smile playing on her intoxicating lips. “Does it bother you to be around kids . . . like you?”

Kids like me? “You mean be around kids whose parents abandoned them and left them in a system that couldn’t care less what happens to them?”

An appearance of pain crossed April’s face. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but it was the damn truth. The system was broken. “I care,” she whispered. “I care so much about all these kids that I go home and cry almost every night. I want to take all of them. Even the ones they say are ‘unadoptable.’”

“That was me,” I said so low I didn’t know if she heard me.
No one wants you. No one will ever want you. I don’t even want you. I never did. I knew the second you were born you were just like him.

But when her hand came across the table and rested on mine, I knew my words hadn’t gone unnoticed. My initial reaction was to jerk back and stop her from touching me, but it was surprisingly nice for her skin to be touching mine. The voice subsided, and I found myself lifting my eyes to hers.

“I don’t know your entire story, but I want to know you, Beau. I don’t care if you never tell me what God awful things happened to you in your life. I don’t need to know unless you want me to.”

I shook my head. She didn’t want to know me. She thought she did because she felt something when she was around me, but it wouldn’t last. I would take her down with me. She’d figure out the fucked-up shit in my head, and she’d run for the hills. If my own mother didn’t stay, what in the hell would stop her from leaving?

“I know that’s hard for you to understand,” she continued. “I get it. I’ve thought a lot about you in the weeks since we first met. I know you feel unworthy because of your past. I see it all the time. What happened to you to get you in foster care does not define who you are, Beau.”

Anger flooded my veins. How the fuck would she know anything about what had happened to me? “Oh, you mean the fact my mother left me and never came back? The one person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world? Don’t fucking pretend you know me just because you work with foster kids. I’m not a fucking project.” I slid out of the booth, and that’s when I heard it.

“Oh, my God!” Voices shrieked from behind me. I turned just in time to see Johnny walking across the restaurant. Three girls had recognized him and were about to cause a scene.

“Fuck,” I said, walking away from April. I strode toward Johnny. We had to get out of here. I wasn’t dealing with any of that.

“It’s Johnny Gibbons!” Just as I approached him, the other two gasped.

“It’s Beau Anderson!”

“Where’s Bex and Tanner? Oh, my God, Jaded Regret is here!”

Johnny smiled and shook their hands. They pulled us both in for a selfie as I saw April standing on the outskirts of the growing crowd. She wasn’t smiling. In fact, she seemed hurt.

Of course. I’d opened my fucking mouth and hurt her. Well, this was exactly why I chose not to talk most of the time.