Snow & Ash: Endless Winter (11 page)

That was full on terror. Thirty three minutes of pulse pounding terror and now we have to do it again and again and however many more times it takes to move the supplies. It’s so dark. Not like dark were you can stumble around and find your way dark, like can’t see my hand in front of my face dark. The only thing that guided us was two small flashlights that still work, one at the front of the line and one at the back.

The trailers weren’t that hard to pull once we got them moving but my shoulders and back say different now that we’ve stopped. We’re in a house behind a house. Lance’s friend who invited him up north owns this huge monster vacation home in town. It’s where he would have stayed when he came up in November for the bow hunt. We aren’t staying in the monster house but the original home that was built on the property. His friend told him the story of how the property originally belonged to his grandmother who passed it down to him when she died. He wanted something new and modern but the original house on the lot was where his mother grew up so he restored it as a guest house for her and built the new one in front of it. The reason Lance picked it out for us to stay in is because his friend kept all the old fashioned features like the three wood burning fireplaces, hand pump in the kitchen as well as the wood fired cook stove, alongside of the modern plumbing and heating. He said it was charming. For us, it means well water and heat. It also has the bonus of being set back from the road and hidden by the main house which is surrounded by a fence with a gate.

My hands and feet are numb with cold by the time we unload the last trailer and all I want to do is crawl under a blanket and sleep, but there’s no chance of that happening with all the supplies that still have to be moved.

Marsh’s Dad, Ethan seems like a good guy. He’s doesn’t seem to be as hard as Lance but that might be because he’s sick. The guy has a pretty bad infection of some kind but he still kept trying to help us unload until Lance put him in charge of Matty. He must be good with kids as Matty fell asleep in his arms pretty quick, or it just might be that its hours after his bedtime and the heat from Ethan’s fever made him sleepy.

I’m just grateful he’s here to watch my brother while the rest of us make the trips back and forth from the store. They both sleep through our coming and going four times but Ethan comes out of the bedroom on the fifth trip and demands that we stop. It might be because there’s a hint of light in the sky or maybe because the three of us kids are staggering around banging into things in exhaustion. Whatever the reason he’s my new favorite person. I can’t even see straight as he leads Marsh and me into a room and pushes us onto a bed. I’m out even before I feel the heavy blankets settle down on top of us.

The next time I open my eyes I think I must have only slept for a few minutes cuz my whole body aches and the room is very dim like that start of a day. It’s weird waking up to natural light after being in the staff room for so long with candles and the lanterns. All I want to do is roll over and close my weary eyes but when I do I see that Marsh is gone and then I hear Matty laugh somewhere in the house. As much as I want to sleep and am thankful there are other people to help with him, Matty’s my brother and my responsibility. I push myself out of bed and stand bent over to stretch my aching back and wonder if this is what it feels like to be really old. I shuffle towards the door and almost face plant when I trip over my boots. Huh, someone must have taken those off me last night. When I finally reach the door and pull it open, the most heavenly smell hits me right in the face, making my steps quicker. I didn’t really get a good look at the house last night so I glance down the hall and see two more open doors with bedrooms and another one with a bathroom behind it. Turning the other way leads me out to the main living area where the living room, dining room and kitchen all flow together. Everyone’s sitting around the dining room table eating and as I get closer my eyes are drawn to what my nose told me I would find. Bread! Two loaves of what can only be fresh baked, unsliced bread sit in the middle of the table.

It’s so easy to take things for granted when you have them every day but take them away and it’s kind of like grieving except you don’t know how bad you feel until it’s there again. I feel sort of dumb but my eyes get a little damp at the sight of that bread.

“Dude, drool much?”

I look up from the bread to the laughing face of Marsh and reach out my hands making them into lobster claws.

“Gimme!”

Everyone laughs and Belle cuts off a few slices for me. She passes me a plate with a smile.

“We thought you might sleep right through the night as well as the day!”

Wow, it must be almost night again. I guess I slept more than I thought but I just shrug cause my mouth is full of heaven. Lance stands up and waves me into his chair so I drop into it gratefully. I just can’t believe how sore my body is.

“Alright, now that everyone is present, we should go over our next steps. We made a great deal of progress last night but we didn’t get everything so I’d like to do a few more runs tonight if no one has gone in there today. I’ll leave to scout it out in a few minutes and if it looks ok I’ll come back and we’ll head over after dark.

I took another look around the neighbourhood earlier today and as far as I can tell, there’s only two other homes on this block that are occupied. This block seems to have a lot of vacation homes so we’re lucky that most of them were empty when everything went down. We still need to be very careful. I’d like us to remain hidden as long as possible so we’ll have to board up some of the windows and cover others with heavy curtains to keep the light from showing. We will need to set up a watch rotation and work on securing the gate and fence as best we can.

There’s a lot of work that we’ll need to get done in the days to come. Half the supplies should be moved to different locations so if we’re compromised, we won’t lose everything. We need to start working on growing some food. The low level of sunlight will make that a huge challenge but there are some things that can grow in these conditions. We can also help that along with setting up a few grow lights”

Belle interrupted Lance with a frown of confusion.

“Wait, grow lights? Does that mean the electricity will be coming back on soon?”

Lance shook his head sadly.

“Sorry but I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon, like years. BUT, we can make some of our own. It wouldn’t be enough to run an entire house full of electronics but it would be enough to power up some grow lights for a few hours each day. We can set up a line of small windmills that run to a bank of batteries but that’s a project to think about down the road. We’ll have a lot of scavenging to do after we get this place set up and secured.

Ideally, we want to stay off the radar for as long as possible. People will be more desperate and dangerous during the next few months. After that, the only ones left will be groups that have set up sustainable shelters. Then we will make contact with a few, if they’re friendly, and talk about possibly trading.”

Lance took a good long look at all of us. It was a lot to take in but I was feeling pretty relieved that we had hooked up with him and his family. He seemed to know what to do and the plans for the future were comforting. I looked over at Matty who was decimating a piece of bread and breathed a sigh of relief. The kid had a way better chance of making it now. I turned back to Lance when he started talking again.

“Take a good look around at the people here. This is now your family. We will be sad, mad, frustrated and irritate the hell out of each other but none of that will matter in the end. All that will matter is WE ARE A FAMILY and we will stick together, have each other’s backs always, and most importantly, SURVIVE, for as long as it takes.”

“Skyyyyyy-larrrrrr!”

I grit my teeth and hit the punching bag harder, hoping the next words won’t follow but knowing they will and sure enough…

“I’m bored!”

There they are. Rather than take my frustration out on my seven year old brother, I execute a powerful round house kick high up on the bag to finish off my session in the gym. I walk around the gym in laps until my heart slows down from the work out and mentally count to one hundred. I only manage to get to seventy four before there it is again. This time with slightly more whine to it.

“Skyyyyyyy-larrrrrr!”

I take a gulp from my water bottle and snag a towel to wipe my face, stalling for a few more minutes of not being Ben’s mom slash big sister. The boy amazes me every day. Most days I love him so much it hurts and I am just so proud of the incredible little person he’s grown in to. Other times, I want to throttle him into silence. I get now why Dad went outside those first few years and always came back happier and more peaceful. I started making my own short trips out when Ben turned five. AIRIA turned out to be a pretty good baby sitter and bribery goes a long way in getting a five year old to do as you say. We made a deal that he would sit on the couch for an entire Disney movie while I went out and in return he gets half a bar of a rapidly dwindling supply of chocolate bars. AIRIA monitors his every move and if he gets up for any reason she reports it to me through my communicator. If it’s for any reason other than a bathroom break, she patches me through to her speakers so I can talk to him. There’s never been a problem because Ben’s a really good kid and he’s desperate for chocolate.

I never go very far. The second time I went out I found a hunting stand up in a huge tree that I assume Dad built. It’s only a few hundred feet from the main entrance door but it might as well be miles away. I swear sitting up in that tree every other month for roughly ninety minutes at a time is the only reason I haven’t gone completely fracking insane. I’m always armed with one of Dad’s favorite rifles but I never shoot it, even when the few animals left alive wander under me. I carry it to protect myself from a different sort of animal but thankfully, I’ve never seen one of those. As an added safety precaution, AIRIA now monitors the surrounding area for movement of anything with a heat source that weighs more than a hundred pounds and walks on two legs. So far she hasn’t detected anyone anywhere near our doors.

Just being out under the sky with no noise but the wind in the dead forest helps me find a little bit of peace so I can go on being all that Ben needs me to be. The only other time I feel anything close to that peace is when I run or practice kick boxing. I don’t have role models or parents or anyone to help me deal with all that’s happened or all the ways I’m changing as I grow but I did find some help in a weird way.

After Dad died, it was really hard for me to deal with a two and a half year old on my own. He needed so much time from me for everything, including entertainment that I was losing it bit by bit. One day I got impatient and told him to go watch TV. At the poor kid’s confused look I realised that he had never watched a TV show before. He was always asleep when Dad and I would watch a show at night. I asked AIRIA if we had any kid’s shows and hello big eared mouse and his pals! I had never seen Benny sit still for so long before, he was totally enraptured. Two hours of Benny in a TV coma a day made a huge difference in my patience levels. I could actually get my chores and a few other things done.

The thing about TV is it can be totally addictive. With Dad not around to pick out what we watched I was free to choose my own shows. I don’t even know why Dad bought DVDs because AIRIA has like every season of every show in her data banks. It’s like Netflix on steroids. I started out watching all the Family channel shows I used to watch but they just seemed so young and silly to me that I wasn’t even laughing at any of the jokes or pranks. So I moved on to teen dramas. I learned what fashionable clothes I should wear if I lived in Manhattan and how to stab my BFFs in the back at every turn. Two brothers taught me how to kill every supernatural creature ever thought of and how to end many, many, many apocalypses that could happen. I learned what the earth will look like after a nuclear war if I live to be a hundred and that there would be a war between survivors on the ground and kids from space. Ironically, I don’t know who will win because you know, nuclear war killed that show.

Watching all those people do their thing both filled a void and made it bigger. I’m never going to wear a prom dress or break up and make up with a best friend or a boy for that matter, so I lived through those characters and it hurt, a lot. The show that had the most effect on me was about a group of people who were forced to live in space ships after robots that looked like people, destroyed all their planets. BEST SHOW EVER! This girl is so sad and so fierce all at the same time while mourning all that she’s lost and searching for a home to have a future on. I related to her so much and wanted to be strong like her. If Ben hadn’t been here with me, I probably would have opened the alcohol stores and drowned my pain away like she does. That character pushes through her pain and she uses exercise to help do it. So I try and be strong like her even though I don’t have a really cool call sign.

I finally went back into the studio that Dad had set up for me and put it to good use. I watched videos that taught me how to fight. Kick boxing was my favorite and then I started running on the treadmill which was just about the most boring thing in the world. My growing body ached to move, to run but not on a machine that went nowhere. I needed space to run but doing laps around the cow pen was out and then I remembered.

After Dad died, AIRIA had changed my access level to green. It took a few weeks after I found his body for me to remember that. I was stumbling around in a grief filled fog when I walked passed a door that I had never been able to open because of my access level. I’m not sure why I had even tried the door again after all that time but it slid open when I palmed the plate. I stood on the threshold and tried to see in but it was pitch black.

“AIRIA, why did this door open?

“Skylar Ross, access level green.”

The thought of all the doors that wouldn’t open for me before being opened made me pause. How much more was there to this place?”

“AIRIA, are there lights in this room?”

“Skylar Ross, lights are motion activated. Please proceed for illumination.”

I took a nervous step into the darkness and blinked hard when fluorescent lights lit up on the ceiling. My mouth dropped open in astonishment when lights kept coming on down a very long concrete corridor. From where I was standing I couldn’t see any doors or breaks in the walls that ended in the distance at a set of double doors. My feet moved hesitantly down the corridor toward the far doors. I was sort of scared but a flicker of excitement was growing inside of me, temporarily pushing aside my grief.

Standing in front of those double metal doors, I wondered if what I was about to find would change everything for me.

They slid open just as easily as the first door and my movement through them brought more lights. Slightly disappointed but still curious, I poked my head into plain offices with boring desks and computers as I made my way along the next hallway. Another set of double doors barred my way but this time I didn’t hesitate to palm them open.

It felt like it took forever for the lights to stop coming on this time as bank after bank lit up. I just stood there shaking my head. It was another cavern. Only this one was almost as long as a football field. Row after row of double decker bunks filled the huge floor. Each one had a rolled up mattress and clear plastic bag with bedding on it. I walked the perimeter of the cavern wide eyed. This place made my little living area feel like a tiny box.

The first door off the cavern I came to had a sign marked storage and supply. I palmed it open and only took a few steps in to activate the light. Tall and empty shelves sat in rows but further back I could see metal transport containers. I didn’t bother to check how many or how far back they went. Anger was starting to simmer in my belly as I moved on. The next area had metal railings set up like the ones in an amusement park for people to stand in lines for rides. Built into the cavern wall were metal roll down windows and counters. I counted five before I found an access door marked kitchen. Again, a quick look showed me a huge food preparation area with gleaming stainless steel surfaces everywhere.

By the time I had inspected ten washrooms and shower rooms, a massive grow area and a medical clinic with attached lab I was furious. My Dad must have known this was here. I had begged him to help all those people and he claimed we couldn’t. He was a liar and a coward! Those boys we had passed on the high way, all those people hurt or stranded on the highway and in the town could have been safe here and he had done nothing, claimed we couldn’t do anything!

I had walked the entire perimeter of the cavern and ended back where I started. Looking out at all the wasted space and opportunity, fresh tears ran down my face.

“AIRIA, what is this place?”

“Skylar Ross, current location is deemed military barracks.”

“AIRIA, how many people can live here?”

“Skylar Ross, maximum capacity is one thousand five hundred people.”

Fury and frustration had me clenching my fists but then one image of a bullet hole in Dad’s back swept it all aside. I turned away and walked back to my home. Turns out, I didn’t find anything that would change things for me after all.

So years later I remembered the mega cavern and it became Ben’s and my back yard. I used it to run laps and play hide and seek with Ben. We filled that empty lifeless place with as much fun and laughter as I could give him.

“Skyyyyyy-larrrrrr!”

I throw the damp towel in a basket and head out, my brain scrambling to find something to entertain Ben. He has the same schedule that Dad had made for me with school work and chores but he’s still only seven years old and he needs more fun things to do than I can think up.

“AIRIA, what did seven year old boys do for fun back before the bombs dropped?”

“Skylar, seven year old boys got into mischief! Then they played video games.”

I rolled my eyes at the ceiling. Four years alone with AIRIA had given me plenty of time to work with her “personality”. She’s not quite a full A.I. because she doesn’t have emotions but she can learn. It took a while and lots of reminding but eventually she stopped being so literal in every sense. She also stopped using my full name every time she spoke to me. The truth is, I needed a friend and all I had was a computer voice and a toddler so I made it work. The humour she’s learned to inject into some of her answers makes her both a lot less annoying and sometimes even more annoying.

“Ha ha AIRIA, do we even have any video games in here?”

“Why yes we do! All models of pre bombing video gaming consoles can be found in storage container C-12.”

“Thanks AIRIA.

Bennnnn-yyyyyyyy!

GAME ON!”