Snow & Ash: Endless Winter (9 page)

My feet start moving towards them as my eyes stay locked on the churning grey sky. I can barely see through them. It looks uglier the closer I get to the doors. I’m so caught up in the sight of a sky like I’ve never seen before that at first I don’t register a sound that’s headed my way. I’m not scared by it because I recognise it. It’s a sound I’ve heard hundreds of times before and one that always made me happy. I step out of the aisle I’m in straight into the noise like a total idiot. The skateboard hits me right above the ankles a split second before its rider smashes into me with a full body tackle. We go flying while locked together and hit an empty shopping cart that digs painfully into my back before rolling away. My elbow hits the hard tile of the floor and a scream of pain flares out only to be cut off as the full weight of the rider lands on top of me making all my air whoosh out of my chest. The back of my head bounces of the floor once and then we come to a stop.

I manage to take in some air when the rider shifts but lose it just as fast when his hand comes down on my belly to push himself off of me. A tortured groan barely makes it past my lips as my eyes flutter open to see who hit me. Staring back at me are bright blue startled eyes that look me over before they crinkle with a grin. I think it’s a kid but his head and face are wrapped up in dirty scarves so it’s hard to tell. Thankfully, when he grabs my arm to pull me up to a seated position it’s not the one that I smashed cuz it’s totally throbbing. Once I’m sitting up I shove the ski mask up over my head so I can see the kid better. Now that he can see my face the grin in his eyes widens and he swipes his own scarves off. He’s about my age with blond dreadlocks that reach his shoulders.

“Dude! Epic collision!” Comes out of his still grinning mouth as he offers a hand to help me to my feet. I let him pull me up but my eyes track around the store looking for anyone who might be with him. When I’m satisfied the kid is alone I help him dig through a pile of back to school binders that we knocked over in the collision to find his skateboard. He checks the wheels to make sure they’re still working before holding the board over his head in triumph.

“I live to skate another day!”

I can’t help but crack up at his drama, it’s such a relief to meet another kid and not a crazed looter. He shoots me another cocky smirk and holds his fist out for a bump.

“Sorry about the damage man. I though this place was empty. I’m Marsh.”

I bump him back.

“Rex, no worries I’m padded pretty good. What are you doing here?”

Marsh looks me up and down with an intense stare before his shoulders slump and his eyes go sad before they hit the floor.

“Looking for medicine, my dad’s sick. I tried the drug store too but it’s totally bare.” He looks up and shrugs, “You?”

I flash to the bags of pill bottles and blister packs Daniel had given to Belle from the pharmacy but play it cool. I don’t know this kid and he seems cool but I’ve got the girls and Matty to take care of so I just say, “Water.”

He nods in understanding and we just look at each other for a minute before I ask what I really want to know.

“What’s happening out there? Is it safe to move around? Is there anyone in charge helping people?” I try to be cool but my voice cracks on the word helping.

Marsh’s face is confused and he starts shaking his head.

“Dude, where you been? It’s totally messed up! There isn’t anyone helping anyone anymore.”

I look away from him and make up a story on the spot. “Yeah, that’s what I figured, just wondered if you’d seen anything different. I’ve been hiding out since it all started and this is the first place I came to, to look for supplies.”

Marsh pats me on the arm in sympathy. “Sorry to tell you Bro but things are seriously effed up. Pops made us stay in the basement for the first few weeks but we came out two days ago to check things out. There’s bodies all over the place and they look pretty nasty. We found a group of people living in one of the hotels but the leader’s a major league spaz. He told us if we want in we’ve got to give him supplies for a room. Dads and Pops are considering it cuz they’ve got water and a generator.” His face and tone changed to anger. “This sucks! I just want to go home! We don’t even live here. We rented a house for a few weeks so Pops could go bow hunting. I think we should just walk home to Cali but now Dad’s sick, nothing works and we’re stuck here! Total life fail!”

I felt bad for the kid and knew how he felt being so far from home. We walked around the half empty store kicking junk out of our way as Marsh told me his story.

I thought he was with his dad and grandpa but turns out he has two dads that are married. He calls one Dads and the other Pops. His Dads is a doctor and Pops is a retired soldier that likes to hunt. They live near San Diego and came up here so his Pops could scout for a big bow hunt that happens in November. They were just having a family holiday when all this madness started. He told me more about the hotel group and how they had sneered at his two dads. Marsh said that they were used to that kind of prejudice but now they were afraid to trust anyone. His Pops wants to find more people to group together for safety but they didn’t know anyone here in the town and now that his Dad was sick they couldn’t move anywhere else.

I dodge any questions he asks me and think hard. I think his Pops is right about safety in numbers. I think about us three kids with just Belle to protect us and wonder what would happen to us if she got hurt. Marsh seems like a cool kid and if his dads are a doctor and soldier then they would be good people to team up with. We can’t stay in the staff room forever and if anyone comes looking back there for supplies we might get hurt. I should go talk to Belle about this but then I’d give away our location so I take a deep breath and ask, “What kind of medicine does your dad need?”

He says a name that’s greek to me but I repeat it over in my head so I won’t forget it.

“This medicine would have been in the pharmacy here?” At his nod, I look away and consider it again. If things are as bad as he says they are out there then this might be our one shot to team up with decent people. None of us are from here so it makes sense to group up. I nod to myself and take a deep breath.

“I think I can help you get what you need. Can you go get your Pops and bring him back here? I’ll go see what I can find and meet you guys back here.”

Marsh’s face is filled with hope and excitement for a split second before it turns to suspicion and he asks,

“Why? Why would you help us? What’d you want? Nobody does anything for anyone anymore for free.”

I look away and scuff at the floor with the toe of my shoe. He’s right, I do want something. I want help. I don’t want us to be alone anymore. Should I tell him the whole story or wait till he gets his Pops to come? I want him to trust me so I give him a little of it.

“We don’t live here either. My Mom, baby brother and I were in a car accident on the highway that day. She…she died. A lady and her daughter helped us get back to town. We’ve been hiding out ever since. We managed to get some supplies and medicine but we’re alone too. I think we should help each other.”

I say nothing about Daniel Ross or the things he told us about what happened or where we are hiding. That’s something I need to talk to Belle about first.

Marsh’s face changes to sympathy and he gives my arm a soft punch.

“That’s harsh bro. I’m sorry about your mom.” He chews on the end of one of his dreadlocks and then nods. “Strangers in a strange land, yeah, we should hook up. Go talk to your lady and I’ll go get Pops. Meet back here in two hours?”

At my nod, he offers another fist for a bump and then drops his board and skates towards the front of the store. I just stand and wait for a good ten minutes to make sure he’s gone before I head back to the staff room. I’m nervous about this and what Belle will say but we have to make some moves on our terms before it’s too late.

“Square your hips, relax your shoulders and remember to breath. Don’t jerk the trigger. Squeeze it gently back and remember to keep your eyes open!”

I huffed an impatient breath out. It had been almost three months since Dad had started to teach me and he’s finally going to let me shoot. My aim with the cross bow has gotten much better but I still struggle with re cocking it. I would love to use the long bow but my skinny tooth pick arms can’t handle the draw. Dad made me a smaller version of it but every time I tried to shoot it, I felt like an idiotic cupid!

I can now strip down, clean and oil almost every type of weapon we have. He won’t let me touch some of his favorites but he says he will in a few years. I’ve dry fired most of them and practiced my stance over and over. I’m ready but he’s driving me crazy with his nerves!

“Dad, I got this. Let’s go already!”

“Ok, ok, we’ll start with the .22 Long Rifle semi-auto pistol. It’s light weight and has an easy recoil. Just remember everything you’ve learned. I moved the targets up to ten feet so you can see how your shot placement is but we’ll move them back as you get better.”

I gave a firm nod of determination and went over the checklist in my head one more time before taking a deep breath and slowly let it out. The first shot was a bit of a jolt but I knew it was coming so it wasn’t that bad except for the part where I missed the target. My second shot missed again but the third one winged the paper and the next few were hits also. By the time I had reloaded twice more I was consistently hitting the paper and more and more were inside the silhouette. When I finally put the gun down my shoulders and hands ached but I felt amazing. I turned to Dad with a grin but it slipped away at the sadness on his face. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

“You did good, Sky. I wanted something different for you, something peaceful, but you’ll make a great soldier one day.”

It took a long time but every day I got stronger and my shooting improved. I liked shooting the long rifles the best and hated the bow the most. I kept at it but I never really got good at it.

Days went by and then months and then it had been a year since we came here. It’s a sad and happy day. Mom and the world died a year ago but it’s also Benny’s first birthday and I know Mom would want it to be special so Dad and I try hard to be happy for him. I smile and sing the birthday song but inside I’m thinking about all the things this boy will never know.

After the party has been cleaned up and Benny is sleeping for the night, Dad and I just sit and stare at the TV, not really watching the documentary about ancient Rome that’s playing. AIRIA has almost every TV show in her data banks but it’s too hard watching stuff about the world we used to live in so we stick to history or educational shows. I’m jolted out of my memories of Mom when he speaks.

“Tomorrow when Ben is napping, we’re going out.”

My jaw drops open in disbelief.

“What do you mean, out? Like out, out? Like outside?”

He just looks at me and nods.

“How, how is that possible? You said it’s not safe! You said that there’s radiation and that we’d have to stay in here for years!”

“Calm down, honey. AIRIA has sensors all over the mountain and also monitors the few satellites still in orbit. Yes, there is radiation but it’s not concentrated around here. There was fallout and there are waves of radiation that travel around the earth. The sky and air are still filled with contaminants from the ash and smoke that was kicked up into the atmosphere. We will be wearing masks and containment suits. We’ll be fine!”

I stare at him in shock and terror for a second before I jump to my feet.

“No, NO we can’t go out there! What if something happens? What if we get hurt or die, then what happens to Ben? No Dad!” Dad gets to his feet and puts his hands on my shoulders.

“Honey, nothing’s going to happen! We will be in constant contact with AIRIA the whole time and she will be monitoring Benny. She’ll let us know if he wakes up while we’re out there and we’d come right back. Trust me, I’ve already been out a few times and nothing’s happened. You need to start going out so you can get used to it. One day we’ll have to live out there and start rebuilding.”

My head is shaking back and forth in denial. He’s gone out? He’s been out there? He left us here all alone? I’m so scared and mad and I feel betrayed somehow that I wrench away from his grip.

“No Dad! YOU go! I’m staying here with Benny. I won’t go out there and leave him alone!” I spin away from him and rush in to my room where I throw myself on the bed and shake and cry. I can’t go outside, ever!

The next day I stand listlessly as I watch and listen to him explain how to suit up. He goes over the equipment and how the decontamination works on the way back in but it’s through a fog. I feel like he’s abandoning me. He holds out what looks like a cell phone but a little bit thicker and explains that it’s AIRIA. She’ll be monitoring him the whole time and that I can contact him through it if I need him. I just nod and stay staring at the door we came through so long ago, even after he’s kissed me good bye and it’s slid closed. Eventually, I sit on the couch but I keep my eyes on the door and wait for him to come back.

It gets easier, every time he goes out and comes back but it’s still hard for me. I try and not let him know how much it worries me because I see how much he needs to go out sometimes. He’s happier after he’s walked the mountain. This place must feel like a prison to him but it stopped being that to me, to me its home and safety. He shows me pictures of a dark grey sky with boiling clouds and dying trees and I don’t know how being out there can give him peace because all I see is what we’ve lost. Twice while he’s out there the alarms go off and AIRIA announces that a radiation cloud front is moving in. I have to sit and listen to her count down the minutes until it reaches us. I have to listen as she counts down the temperature drop as the world outside freezes solid, but both times he makes it back safely.

It gets easier, until one day it gets really hard.

“Daniel Ross, no life signs detected. Skylar Ross, access level increased to green.”

My head snaps up from the textbook I’ve been reading and my eyes shoot to the door. What, what did she say? It’s like an echo of what she said when Mom died but that can’t be right! I look to Ben who’s playing with wooden cars Dad carved for him then back to the door before whispering.

“AIRIA, what did you say?”

“Daniel Ross, no life signs detected. Skylar Ross, access level increased to green.”

I shake my head no and whisper again.

“Where is he?” When the computer doesn’t respond I try again. “AIRIA, where is Daniel Ross?”

“
Daniel Ross, last known location is zero point eight kilometres north from main access door.”

My head keeps shaking in denial and my eyes stay glued to the door. That’s not far from here. He’ll be coming back any minute. I’ll just watch the door and it’ll slide open and he’ll come back. He always comes back. But the door stays shut and every minute that goes by is like a fist pounding my chest until a tug on my sleeve finally pulls my eyes from the door.

“Ky, was green? You no green!”

I look down at my two and a half year old brother through a blur of tears. Green, green means we’re alone. Green means I’m in charge. Green means we’re orphans now. I just turned thirteen two weeks ago and green means I’m all he has left.