Snow in August (11 page)

Singsong Girl:

(
Pulls the strings. Sings in a high voice
.)

Dhya—na!

Layman A:

(
Hauling timber and leading the chorus to sing
.)

Good men and good women,

Come to the hall and meditate!

Laymen:

(
Sing in chorus
.)

All sentient beings are Buddha,

We are Buddha.

Layman B:

(
Places bricks on the ground and uses them as stepping stones. Treads on one brick with each step he takes
.)

To the other shore. The heart is devout, and the steps are strong and steady. Leave not even one footprint—

This Master:

(
Takes the brick in front of Layman B, chops it into two halves with his hand, and then throws the halves away
.)

Bad
karma
!

[
Layman B goes back to carry bricks. This Master keeps on chopping them
.

Layman C:

Is our master practicing kung-fu? How many do you chop in a day?

This Master:

I see one, I chop one. (
Again chops a brick into two halves and drops them onto the ground
.)

Layman A:

Does our master play with cats too?

This Master:

I don’t know how! (
Chops another brick into two halves, which go plop when they fall onto the ground
.)

[
Layman D brings a stump, stands on it, and raises his foot as if he were practicing kung-fu
.

Layman D:

Heaven moves in strength, and the superior man strengthens himself tirelessly.

Nice Master:

(
Strikes down stump with one hit
.)

More bad karma!

[
Layman D falls down
.

That Master:

(
Bends down
.)

Can you get up by yourself?

Layman D:

I twisted my ankle.

That Master:

(
Walks away in big strides
.)

It doesn’t matter, as long as your heart is straight.

[
Layman E gets hold of a piece of rope and tries to climb up on it. Exit Layman A
.

Layman E:

Your Holinesses, lend me your eyes. You see how strong my wrists are? What do you think, uh?

Layman F:

(
Draws a big circle on the ground with a piece of chalk
.)

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please get out of the way. You know what they say, men all strive to climb up to high places. But for me, I just want to have a place to stand on the ground.

Layman G:

(
Standing on a tree stump
.)

Human life is just like a game. If you want to play, you’ll have to know how to do it right and how to have fun doing it. What’s the meaning of all this? Who knows?

(
Looks down
.)

Layman H:

(
Wielding a bamboo stick and turning round in circles
.)

What do you think? Are you the centre, or am I the centre? Everybody loves to play God! Who wants to be a mere plaything? Everybody, what do you think? Who is circling around whom?

Layman I:

(
Shielding a bell with his hand and walking backward
.)

Careful! Careful! (
He knocks down the stump and Layman G falls down
.)

I told you to get out of the way! Didn’t you hear me?

Layman B:

(
Still crawling on the ground and arranging bricks
.)

Are you ever going to stop? Your bell makes people nervous!

[
The sound of a gong is faintly heard
.

Old Master:

Now what? I wonder who can that be?

[
A heavy banging on the gong. Enter Crazy Monk carrying a big gong. His entire face is painted gold
.

Crazy Monk:

A living Bodhisattva has descended. He’s touring the four corners of the world!

(
His hands are waving and his feet are dancing
.)

The Star of Fortune shines up above! Money and treas-ures for everyone! (
He hits the gong once, giggling like the Buddha himself
.)

[
Enter Old Woman
.

Old Woman:

(
Claps and then rubs her hands
.)

Goodness gracious, so very kind!

Crazy Master:

(
As soon as he hits the gong, he performs “face changing,” and his face turns from gold to white
.)

A crazy old fool, always laughing out loud.…That’s me, your crazy old monk!

(
Opens his mouth and reveals a mouthful of gold teeth
.)

Singsong Girl:

(
Plucks the strings, walks to centre stage and sings in a high voice
.)

Dhyana!

Writer:

What a beautiful sight!

Singsong Girl:

(
Turns and smiles at him
.)

What are you looking at?

Writer:

He who looks will have a throbbing heart!

Singsong Girl:

(
Sways her waist slightly
.)

It is a dead heart that stops throbbing, isn’t it?

Old Woman:

I was like that many years ago. Now my teeth have all fallen out, and I can eat only porridge.

Old Master:

Lady, I hope you’re not here to beg for alms. You know, the monks here at the temple need your support…

Old Woman:

You’re old and you’re a monk. Why are you still afraid of women?

Old Master:

Old woman, hold your sharp tongue!

Old Woman:

But I meant well! So what if I’m an old woman? Can’t I come and pay my homage at the temple? I’m just here to join in the fun. Suppose I sang a song, then what? Do you think the Bodhisattvas would be scared away by my singing?

Old Master:

Never mind. I’m hard of hearing and I can’t see well.

Crazy Master:

I’m a monk, but I eat meat and I drink. See, I’m what they call a “flower monk,” totally uninhibited! What have you got? Come on, show me all you’ve got!

Singsong Girl:

Sure I’m here to entertain, and I make money with my art. But listen, my looks are not for sale!

Crazy Master:

So what if you sold your body? Remember Buddha is present even in any old and stinking body.

Singsong Girl:

Okay, monk! Listen up! (
Plays the strings
.)

Old Woman:

This crazy monk, I’m not sure if he’s really crazy or just faking it.

Crazy Master:

Reality is not real, falsity is not false. Real or false, where can we find the real spirit of Buddha?

Old Woman:

You’re crazy. You don’t look like you have it!

Crazy Master:

(
Giggling
.)

Old woman, what are you talking about, having and not having?

Singsong Girl:

(
Plucks strings in fast pace. Sings in high-pitched style
.)

Snow in August,

How strange it is,

Cao Mountain is quiet and serene,

A beautiful shadow

Cavorts with the clear and crisp wind.

Look at the snowy mountain top,

There is meaning for us to know.

In the green grassland,

A place to seek out your thoughts.

Look again,

Even insensate stones think of moving,

And try to send us a little message.

The way of Heaven,

They say it’s enlightenment,

It is but one big mass of nothingness.

All Masters:

(
Sing
.)

The ultimate
Dharma
is no
Dharma
,

The big merit needs no cultivation.

Crazy Master:

(
Strikes the gong hard, then puts his hand on it to halt the sound
.)

The big sound has no sound!

One Master:

Where did this wild cat come from?

Another Master:

Your Reverence, what are you looking for?

[
Enter Layman A stealthily. He has something hidden inside his shirt. When he squeezes it, it cries out “meow.”

He tiptoes and sneaks around. When he squeezes “the thing” inside his shirt again, there is another cry of “meow
.
”

That Master:

(
Hollers
.)

Bad karma!

Nice Master:

Get out of here!

(
Nice Master gives Layman A a thump with his staff, and the latter scurries all over the stage to constant cat meowing. Again and again Nice Master keeps on hollering and thumping with his staff. Everybody chases around aimlessly amid sounds of the gong and ringing bells. Pandemonium ensues
.)

Layman A:

(
Running away
.)

Go get him! Don’t let him get away! (
Exit running
.)

Singsong Girl:

(
Plays strings and sings
.)

Dhya—na!

All Laymen:

(
Sing in chorus
.)

All sentient beings are Buddha,

And Buddha is us.

[
Enter Layman A with a cat under his armpit, running
.

Layman A:

Don’t let the guy get away!

Crazy Master:

That’s the guy, the cat guy! (
Hits the gong and laughs out loud
.)

[
Layman A scurries around the stage. The cat keeps meowing. Everybody laughs
.

One Master:

(
Suddenly starts hollering and runs
.)

Thief! Thief! Catch him!

Another Master:

Cat or thief? Which one are we supposed to catch?

Right Master:

(
Suddenly starts hollering and running
.)

Fire! Fire! The inner chamber is on fire! (
Exit running
.)

Wrong Master:

Get him! Get that crazy firebug!

Quite Master:

What did you say? Who set whose house on fire?

That Master:

He who set the fire knows he’s the one.

Singsong Girl:

(
Plays the strings and sings
.)

Dhyana!

Writer:

(
Recites loudly
.)

If you want to play, go ahead and play;

If you want to make noise, just make noise.

Your house is your castle, how can anyone stop you?

[
Enter a monk and a layman. One of them is pushing a drum and the other hitting it. Loud drumming
.

Enter Right Master running. He is holding a torch in his hand
.

Right Master:

Your Reverences, where’s the chamber that’s on fire?

Layman A:

(
Hollers
.)

Don’t let the thief get away! (
Chases after Right Master.
)

Right Master:

Fire, fire, fire! (
Scurries around the stage
.)

Layman A:

Meow, meow, meow—(
Chases after Right Master around the stage
.)

[
Exit Right Master running
.

All Masters:

(
Chase after Layman A and run around the stage after him. Sing in chorus
.)

No matter monk or layman,

We are all human,

Bodhisattvas are always true,

Each and every one.

[
Exit Layman A running
.

All Laymen:

(
Sing in chorus
.)

You suffer and I suffer,

You live hard and I live hard.

If not we’d all be in vain,

And our lives not worth living.

[
Enter Right Master waving a torch
.

Right Master:

Thief! Thief! Catch the thief! (
Runs all over the stage
.)

Crowd:

(
Sing in chorus
.)

O fire, fire, fire, fire!

O fire, fire, fire—

[
Enter Layman A holding a cat and chases after Right Master. Exit Right Master running
.

Layman A:

He set the fire and he cries: “Catch the thief.” Just like a thief shouting: “Catch the thief!”

[
Meowing is heard all over the stage. All chase after Layman A
.

Crazy Master:

That’s him, the cat guy! (
Hits the gong and laughs out loud
.)

Crowd:

Get him!

Get him!

Don’t let him get away!

Layman A:

I’d like to see how you’re gonna find it! (
Puts down the cat. Exit running
.)

Crowd:

(
Chasing after the cat
.)

Meow—meow—meow—meow—