Snowbound with the Boss (9 page)

“Because she should have told me about Saint Sam,” he snapped. This had been gnawing on his gut since Kate's dad told him about her marriage and how it had ended. He'd been biting his tongue for days to keep from saying something because damn it he wanted
her
to tell him. But it was looking like that wasn't going to happen, so he'd have to do something to end this. Did she kiss
him
and think of Sam? Because Sean wasn't going to stand for that.

“Look,” Mike said, “you gave me some good advice not long ago when Jenny was making me crazy—”

“Not the same thing,” Sean said, cutting off his brother. Mike had been in love with Jenny. Sean was in lust with Kate.
Big
difference.

“Right.” Mike shook his head impatiently. “Anyway, the point is, you told me I should talk to her, get everything out, and you were right. Why don't you take your own advice? Talk to her, Sean. For God's sake, you're having a baby together. Maybe you should work some of this stuff out?”

“Yeah. The question is, how?” Sean jumped from the chair and prowled the office again, as if he was trapped and looking for a way out. Throwing a look at Mike, he said, “I don't have time for this right now. We've got the big launch next week, and there's a million details to refine yet.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We're still putting together the storyboards for ‘Dragon's Tears'—and that comes out in December, we've got to get those finalized...”

“Uh-huh.”

Sean stopped dead and fired a look at his brother. “Just say what you're thinking. You agreeing with me so easily is a little creepy.”

“Fine.” Mike came off the desk and faced him. “We've always got a launch or a new game in the pipe and hopefully, it'll be like that for the next fifty years. But you get to have a life, too, Sean, and sometimes you have to make the time for it.”

He scrubbed one hand across the back of his neck. “Make time.”

“Yeah. You brought Kate out here—take advantage of having her on your home court, so to speak. Figure out what the hell it is you want, then go and get it and stop giving me a headache.”

Sean laughed and shook his head. Leave it to family to wrap things up so neatly. “Wow. Touching. Okay, fine. Speaking of taking some time, I won't be in tomorrow.”

“Good. Improve your attitude before you do come back, okay?”

“Gonna work on that,” Sean said and left.

* * *

Several hours later, Kate was sitting across the table from Sean in the most elegant restaurant she'd ever seen. Candlelight flickered on every table, white linen cloths were brightened by deep red napkins and the sparkle and shine of crystal and silver. Quiet conversations sifted through the room and soft, classical music was a whispered backdrop.

Kate smoothed her napkin across the lap of her new black dress and looked at the gorgeous man opposite her. In jeans and a work shirt, Sean was hard to resist. In a well-tailored black suit with a sapphire-blue tie, he was amazing. He looked as if he'd been born to be in places like this. Actually, he was as comfortable in this rarified atmosphere as Kate was uneasy. Just one more reason that loving him was going to bring nothing but trouble.

“You look beautiful,” he said, shattering her thoughts.

“Thank you.” She'd had to go shopping, of course, since she hadn't brought anything with her that would have been good enough for a place like this.

There'd been a tension between them all day. Well, Kate admitted silently, Sean had been...different, since they'd left Wyoming. For her, realizing she was in love made her cautious, afraid she might somehow let the truth slip and set herself up for pain. So the two of them did a careful dance, where every word was weighed and measured and what
wasn't
said lay between them like a minefield.

Conversation during dinner had been stilted, and Kate felt as though she was balancing on a tightrope, trying desperately not to fall.

“How do you like California so far?”

She smiled at him. “What I've seen is beautiful. I love the view from your terrace.”

He nodded, and one corner of his mouth tipped up. “That's the reason I bought it. I like seeing the ocean when I wake up.”

“You can see it from your bedroom?”

One eyebrow lifted. “If you'd joined me last night, you could have found out for yourself this morning.”

“You didn't invite me.”

“You don't need an invitation and you know it.”

Oh, if she had joined him last night, the view would have been the last thing she was interested in. Even as her body stirred, she let that go and said instead, “This is actually my second trip to California. Of course, on the first trip I was ten and my parents took me to Disneyland.”

He smiled, and this time the smile reached his eyes. “Every kid should get the chance to go there.”

“You probably went all the time, growing up here.”

“Not really. My folks were more about going camping and exploring rather than amusement parks.”

“Tonight, you don't look like a camping kind of guy.”

“And you don't look much like a contractor who wears a tool belt like other women wear diamonds.”

“But that is who I am.” Waving one hand to encompass the restaurant, she said, “Places like this, not really a part of my life.”

“They could be,” he mused.

“Not a lot of five-star restaurants in a little town in Wyoming.” Her heartbeat sped up, but before it could get out of hand, Kate reined it in. Her life wasn't here in California. Even if by some miracle she and Sean could find a way to make things work between them, she still couldn't stay here. She had a business, people depending on her, and besides, she wanted to raise her child where she'd grown up.

In a place with more trees than people. Summer nights of lying on a blanket in the yard watching the stars. Fourth of July town picnics, snowmen and ice skating on the lake. Small schools and big dreams. She wanted that for her child and knew she wouldn't be able to find it here in California.

His fingers tapped lightly against the table as he studied her.

“You're staring at me again,” she said.

“I like the view,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“You're doing the charming thing again,” Kate said and smiled a little. “I wondered if I'd see it again.”

“What's that mean?”

“Just that I've never seen you as quiet as you have been the last two days.”

His gaze dropped deliberately to her belly. “A lot to think about lately.”

“You're right about that.” She shifted a little under his steady stare. So much to say, she thought, and no way to say it. She changed the subject to one less personal, one less fraught with emotions neither of them was willing to discuss. “So do you come here often for business dinners?”

He smiled and in the candlelight, his eyes glittered. “Not really.”

“But you brought me here.” She tipped her head to one side. “Why?”

“You didn't enjoy your dinner?”

“It was wonderful, but that doesn't answer my question.”

“Easy answer, then. I wanted to take you someplace nice.” He stood up, came around to her side and helped her to her feet. “Now, I want to show you something else.”

She slipped her hand into his and felt the sizzle of electricity that always happened when he touched her. How would she live without feeling that every day? Would she spend the rest of her life wondering what he was doing? Missing him?

Rising, she looked up into his eyes and asked, “Where are we going?”

His mouth curved briefly. “It's a secret. You like secrets, don't you, Kate?”

They drove down the coast and in his Porsche, the miles flew by. On her right, the ocean shone and sparkled in moonlight that danced on its inky surface. On her left was the man who had so thoroughly breached what she had believed to be well-honed defenses. His charm and his smile had attracted her and now his quiet distance drew her in even further. Was it the baby that had changed him so completely? Was he thinking about how to gain custody? Was he regretting saying he wanted their child?

And what had he meant when he said she liked secrets?

She glanced at him as he steered the sleek car down the crowded road that ran alongside the beach. Why was he suddenly so hard to read? When they'd first met, she'd dismissed him as an arrogant rich man—now she knew he was much more than that. But what was driving him now?

“Now who's staring?” he asked.

“Just trying to figure you out.”

He laughed and it was a short, sharp sound. “I'm not that deep, Kate. You don't have to try so hard.”

“I wouldn't have to try at all if you'd just tell me what's going on.”

“No fun not knowing what's going on, is it?”

She bit her bottom lip to keep from responding. She knew he was making a crack about her not telling him about the baby. But she'd done what she thought was right, and that was all anyone could do. Besides, she'd apologized for that, hadn't she?

She didn't say another word as he steered the car into a right turn by a sign announcing View Point.
He parked, got out of the car then came around and helped her out, as well. Tucking her hand in his, he pulled her along behind him as he walked to the short, white barrier that stood at the edge of the cliff.

Theirs was the only car in the narrow lot, and the roar from the cars on the road seemed muffled somehow beneath the sigh of the ocean below. A sharp, cold wind plucked at the hem of her dress, and the three-inch heels she wore weren't made for crossing uneven asphalt at the pace needed to keep up with Sean's long legs. But finally, he drew her to a stop beside him, with the really insufficient white fence the only thing between them and the long drop to the rocks below.

“This is one of my favorite spots,” Sean said, pitching his voice to carry over the wind, the sea and the highway behind them. “Used to come here when I got my first car. I'd sit on the hood and watch the sea for hours.”

“It's beautiful,” she said. And only a little unnerving to be so close to the edge of a cliff.

“Yeah, it is.” He pointed, and her gaze tracked in that direction. “When it's clear like this, you can see all the way up the coast. Sometimes you can see Catalina, too. On a foggy night, it looks like something from out of a dream. Most nights, though, are like tonight and from up here, the beach city lights don't look too bright, too harsh, too crowded.”

Listening to him, Kate could see him as a teenager, out here in the dark, alone, watching the world. Hadn't she done the same thing when she would go to the lake as a kid and watch the moon and stars dance over the surface of the water?

“It's a lot more lights than I'm used to seeing at night.”

“You have lights, too,” he said, with a half smile. “They're called stars. I've never seen so many, and I've been camping in the desert.”

“It's true.” She looked up and saw maybe a quarter of the stars she would have seen at home. There were just too many lights here to let the sky shine as it should.

She shivered in the wind and shifted her gaze to the bottom of the cliff, where waves slapped hard against the rocks and sent frothy spray into the air.

“Cold?”

“A little.” A lot actually, but when he dropped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tightly to him, cold was just a memory.

“When I was a kid,” he said, “I'd come here, and no one would know where I was. This place was my secret.”

There was that word again, Kate thought, looking up at him to find his gaze fixed on hers. “You keep talking about secrets. What is it, Sean?”

His eyes narrowed against the wind as he stared at her. After a few seconds, Kate thought he was going to ignore her question. Then he asked, “Why didn't you tell me you were married? That your husband died?”

Nine

K
ate felt all the air whoosh out of her lungs, and it took her a second or two to refill them. His arm around her tightened in response to her instinctive push to back away from him.
Her father.
Kate closed her eyes briefly when she realized her dad must have told Sean about Sam.

She should have expected it. Anticipated it. Harry Baker was
not
happy that his pregnant daughter was unmarried. She probably should have been grateful that he hadn't come after Sean with a shotgun. Instead, he'd done what he could to convince the father of his grandchild to do what Harry would think was the “right thing.”

Now, Sean's arm around her felt like a cage, keeping her where she didn't want to be. She needed a little space, a little breathing room. “Let me go.”

“No. Talk to me.”

“About what?” She shook her hair back from her face when the wind tossed it across her eyes. “Sounds like my dad already told you everything.”

“Not everything,” Sean argued, turning her in his arms until she was facing him, pressed up against him. “He couldn't tell me why you kept Sam a secret from me.”

She looked everywhere but into his eyes. How could she have told him about her late husband? “Because my marriage had nothing to do with what happened between us.”

“That's what you think?” He took her chin and tilted up her face until she had no choice but to meet his gaze. Kate didn't like the shine of anger there, but she was surprised by the layer of hurt she saw over it.

“Okay, when was I supposed to tell you, Sean?
Before
sex or directly after?”

“It wasn't just sex, Kate.” His grip on her tightened. “What happened between us was more than that, and you should have told me. God knows there was plenty of time when we were snowbound.”

Yeah, he was angry. But instead of convincing her to back down, his anger served to kindle her own. “Just how was I supposed to work that information in, Sean? I know, ‘Help me pull out the carpet upstairs and oh, by the way, did I mention I'm a widow?'” She set both hands on his chest and gave a shove. “Let me go, damn it.”

He did, and Kate stalked off a few steps before she turned around to face him again. He hadn't moved. Just stood there, a tall presence whose features now looked as if they'd been carved in stone.

“I don't talk about Sam,” she blurted out. “Not to anyone. He's gone, that's all, and when he died, a piece of me died with him.”

“Kate...”

“No,” she snapped, holding one hand up to get him to be quiet. She'd done this. Opened herself up to this. Memories of Sam tangled with new ones of times with Sean and twisted her up into knots of pain and regret.

Damn it, why did she have to love him? Losing Sam had hurt so badly, and she knew that losing Sean was going to be worse—not only because what she felt for him went deeper than what she'd known with Sam. But because she would also be losing him and still have to live knowing that he was alive and well—just not with her.

So she struggled against the misery curled in her heart and said, “You wanted to hear it, so just be quiet and listen.” She had to take a deep breath and steel herself against the flood of memories that swept through her. “We were happy,” she finally said. “Sam was a sweet man with a kind smile and a big heart. We were married a couple of years, talking about starting a family. Then there was an accident on a job site and he was killed.

“He's been gone two years now. And when he died, my dream of kids, a family of my own, went with him.”

Sean's eyes narrowed, and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he ground his teeth together. She felt the power of his stare slamming into her, heard the rawness of his voice when he said flatly, “Until you found out you were pregnant.”

“Yes.” She curled her arms protectively across her belly. “This baby is a miracle for me, Sean. Dreams I let die are alive again because of her.”

“That's why you didn't tell me,” Sean said, taking two long strides that brought him right up in front of her. “As long as you didn't tell me about my kid, you could pretend that it was Sam's.”

Kate's head jerked back as if she'd been slapped. Her throat filled, and her stomach churned. She fought for air and thanked God for the sharp, cold wind that batted the tears from her eyes before they could fall. Staring up into the face of the man she thought she knew and seeing none of the warm humor and charm she was so used to, Kate could only think...
he's right
.

She had done that. And now she was caught with the truth and what it had done to Sean. She had played mental games with herself. Pretended that the baby she carried was the child she and Sam had wanted so badly, because she hadn't wanted to involve Sean at all. What they'd shared had been so momentary—how could she call him later and say she was pregnant and expect anything from him?

But it hadn't been momentary at all
, her mind whispered, and that's what had really scared her.

Those snowbound days with Sean had opened up her heart, her mind, her soul. He'd touched places inside her that no one else ever had, and it had scared her. Scared her enough that she'd found a way to avoid seeing him again. And now, being called on it, she could understand Sean's anger and the hurt she'd caught such a brief glimpse of.

She wanted to argue with him, tell him he was wrong, but she couldn't. The truth was hard, but lying wouldn't solve anything at this point.

“God.” Shaking her head, she said, “You're right, Sean. I did try to pretend that this was Sam's baby. We wanted a family, and I felt cheated when Sam died.” She threw up her hands. “We had a few days together, you and I, and what we felt and did was so far out of my normal universe that I had to find a way to protect myself, I guess.

“Plus, you made this huge point about not wanting a family and I thought, why tell him? Why bring him into this at all? And I was wrong. I should have told you.”

“Yeah,” he said tightly. “You should have. But some things are hard to talk about. To remember.”

Was he talking about her now, or did he have secrets of his own? Was he going to tell her? Would he hold that part of himself back in some kind of retaliation for what Kate had done?

“Do you still love him?”

Her gaze snapped to his. “What?”

“Sam,” Sean said, his gaze burning into hers. “Do you still love him?”

“I'll always love him, Sean,” she said, knowing Sam deserved that much at least. “He was my husband, and he died. That's not something I can just tuck away and forget.”

Kate had loved Sam with all the sweet promise of first love, and she would always treasure those memories. But what she felt for Sean was so much bigger, deeper, richer, there was simply no comparison. Sam had been as soft and gentle as a candle's glow. Sean was the sun—searingly bright, all-encompassing and so hot you risked being incinerated by getting too close.

Yet she couldn't stay away.

He moved in on her, and Kate shivered. It wasn't the wind, not the sea-scented cold; it was the heat in Sean's eyes that affected her. God, she loved him, and she knew she shouldn't. Knew she should find a way to stop.

He set his hands at her waist and whispered into the wind, “Who are you thinking of when I kiss you, Kate? Sam? Or me?”

Is that what had been tearing at him for days? How could he imagine that there would be room for anyone else in her mind when he was touching her? Hadn't he felt her surrender?

Lifting one hand, she cupped his cheek and told him the truth. “Don't you know? Don't you feel it when you touch me? It's you, Sean. There's only you.”

“Good answer,” he murmured, then bent his head and kissed her.

Here was what she wanted,
needed
.
Here, Kate thought, was everything she couldn't have. She sank into his kiss, letting the cold wind wrap itself around her as counterpoint to the heat pumping from Sean's body into hers.

His arms were like iron, his heart pounding hard against hers. The taste of him filled her, and she gave herself up to the wonder of what she had with him. Her mind raced ahead, shouting warnings that were coming too late to prevent the hurt she would feel when this time with him was over. Deliberately, she closed down her mind, shut her worries away for another time. Now was all that mattered.

All she really had.

* * *

Waking up with Kate sprawled across his chest didn't bring even the tiniest bubble of panic. Sean told himself he should probably worry about that. He never had women stay over. Hell, he didn't normally bring women to his place—he went to theirs. This condo had been a sanctuary for him. His place in the world that was inviolate. But for the last week, he'd had Kate there with him and it felt...way too good.

She stirred, woke up slowly, slid her foot along his leg and his body went from sated to hungry in a blink. Tipping her head back, she looked up at him and gave him a slow smile.

“Good morning.”

He grinned at her. “Getting better every second.”

Rolling her over onto her back, he looked down into her eyes and stroked his hands up and down her body, relearning every line, enjoying the new curves caused by the gentle swell of her belly. He kissed her there, above his child's heart, and then moved up, to take her mouth in a kiss that showed her just how badly he needed her. She dragged her hands through his hair and the slide of her fingers was the kind of torture, he thought, a man would be willing to die for.

Kate arched into him as he stroked her core, and she sighed his name as her hips rocked into his hand. When that first gentle release claimed her, Sean moved to cover her body with his. He felt the tremors still claiming her when he entered her on a whisper.

Dawn streaked the sky with shades of pink and violet and red as he rose over her and moved into her heat with a tenderness he'd never experienced before. She met him with the same gentle touches, the quiet sighs and the murmured words that made sense only when two people became one.

Sean stared into her eyes and watched as the climax took her. She cried out his name, and he buried his face in the curve of her neck when his body surrendered and emptied into hers. And locked together, they fell.

* * *

A couple of hours later, they were back at the office. While Sean made dozens of phone calls, checking in with distributors, shipping, retailers and wholesalers, he knew Kate was working with Jenny in the art department.

They'd settled into a routine over the last few days. Breakfast on the terrace—and how great was it that Kate not only knew how to cook, but also
enjoyed
it? His condo now always had some delicious scent wafting through it.

He liked their early-morning time together, laughing, talking, just the two of them. Sean had never enjoyed a woman as much. He loved the way her mind worked—she was smart, creative and the strongest woman he'd ever known. He admired that about her, too. She didn't want to be taken care of, or told what to do and had no problem standing up and telling him so.

Every other woman he'd ever been with had
wanted
him to be in charge. But Kate had built a life for herself on her own terms. She'd lost her husband and hadn't curled up into a ball to whine about it. She hadn't felt sorry for herself. On her own, she'd turned her construction company into a thriving business, and now she was determined to raise a child on her own. Not that he was going to stand still for that.

He frowned, kicked back at his desk and shifted his gaze to the backyard garden. Color flowed in a serpentine spill across the length of the yard. Silky vines with bright yellow flowers climbed a trellis, and the birdbath Jenny had brought home from her and Mike's honeymoon trip to Paris held center stage on the lawn.

Celtic Knot had seen a lot of changes over the last couple of years. Brady was married, living in Ireland and the father of a baby boy. Mike was married now, too, about to be the father of a baby boy and letting his wife drag him around on house-hunting missions.

“And me?” Sean mused aloud. “Having a daughter with my lover, who's already started talking about getting back to Wyoming.”

He'd noticed she was getting antsy, and he knew she was ready to get home and back to work. What he didn't know was what the hell he was going to do when she left. How was he supposed to live in his condo when every corner of the place would now remind him of her? Hell, he wouldn't even be able to sit out on the terrace without thinking about homemade pancakes and syrup-flavored kisses.

No. Unacceptable. Sean made his living talking people into seeing things his way. He made deals, solved problems and always managed to come out on top. There's no way he'd lose now. Not when Kate was more important than any other challenge he'd ever faced.

He wanted Kate Wells. He wanted their child, and he wouldn't lose either of them.

* * *

In the art department, most of the artists were on computers, a few at long conference tables scattered with paper and pencils and markers in a vast rainbow of colors. Energy seemed to sizzle in the air. Kate enjoyed the atmosphere in here, with everyone working together on one project and yet separately, each doing their best to make the whole work.

It reminded her of job sites back home. Whatever project they had going at the time, each of her crew would do their best work on their own, making sure that the finished product was cohesive. She admired creativity, too, and spending the last week watching these people bring myths to life had been fascinating.

“I never realized how much work went into creating a video game,” she said.

“Believe me,” Jenny told her with a grin, “I know just what you mean. When I first started working here, I was overwhelmed by all of the minutiae that goes into the design and the artwork and the graphics. But now I love it.” She eased back in her chair and laid one hand over her growing baby.