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Authors: Kim Holden

So Much More

BOOK: So Much More
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Contents

Title Page

Copyright

Early praise for So Much More

Other Books By Kim Holden

Dedication

Prologue

Get out of hell free card

Everyone loves sheep

The world I'm creating for me

Third times a charm

The housewarming mango

Hope your day is as awesome as you are

Disturbingly human

It hurt like hell and we named him Kai

Stretch marks are for life

Forgotten and discarded, that pisses me off

Scotch is for geriatric men

Win. Motherfucking win.

The turncoat

We needed a hero

Your knees are attractive; it’s a shame to bloody them

Uneventful and normal, I want to be that guy

Fuck the façade

She usually saves the sigh

You might need your own sign

He’s not perfect anymore

My body was busy deconstructing itself

She’s kind of a bitch

The unwelcome invader invites new obsessions

Flypaper

I’m the punchline

Goddamn pathetic sponge

All that’s left is we

Botox, overcoats, and destiny

Blackmail sounds so harsh

A lovely shade of I will annihilate your soul

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

No one measures up to a saint

Choking on thick smoke

Sulking in the cesspool of villainy

Shedding regret like snakeskin

Sometimes a blessing is disguised as despair

Compressed wood pulp and bad intention

I never thought I had a type

French onion dip and damage control compost

The epicenter of hell

Time yields results, even against the defiant

Batman angels

I want to tear my pages out and run away with them

The calendar is now sacred

Fool me twice, fuck you

Miserably imperfect saccharin happiness

I wouldn’t wipe my ass with your distorted perspective

Baking a new pie

Sick and tired of feeling the ugliness

Where’s the fucking butter

You used to be nice

I always have a choice

Pine-Sol gives me a headache

You don’t get a medal for trying

I see myself in you

Nobody pisses on my rainbow

I need to dream to sleep

Parenthood isn’t genetic

That’s a stunner to open with

Were you sent straight from hell to destroy my life

Good at keeping secrets

You were my hope

Sometimes, it isn’t that hard

Life blooms in second chances

Magic sounds delicious

What an unbelievably beautiful circumstance to be in

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

So Much More Playlist

Miranda's Motherfucking Monkey Bread

About the Author

Other Books By Kim Holden

Published by Do Epic, LLC

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locale is entirely coincidental.

So Much More Copyright © 2016

ISBN (Kindle): 978-0-9911402-6-8

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages for review purposes only.

Cover photography by Andi Hando

Cover design by Brandon Hando

Editing by Amy Donnelly at Alchemy and Words and Monica Stockbridge

Interior design by Amy Donnelly at Alchemy and Words

Early praise for So Much More

“The story has interwoven layers of emotion that you can’t help but feel deep in your heart as you read, and complex character development that can make you go from hating a character to hoping for their redemption in the breadth of just a few chapters. You’ll feel everything: love, hate, joy, anger, pain, healing… This book is intricately crafted and rich in detail; an emotionally intelligent story.” –Aestas Book Blog

“I felt like I was inside Seamus and Miranda’s heads, hearing the things we never say out loud to a spouse.” –
Renée
Carlino,
USA Today
bestselling author

“Kim intricately entwines words to create beautifully fragile, yet resilient, souls…each needing to be loved. And I love them all.” –Rebecca Donovan,
USA Today
bestselling author of The Breathing Series

Other books by Kim Holden

All of It

Bright Side

Gus

Dedication

B.,

We.

What an unbelievably beautiful circumstance to be in.

You’ve always been my so much more.

I love you.

Mom,

Brave.

That’s you.

For thirty-six years you’ve fought Multiple Sclerosis with badass grace.

I love you.

Prologue

Love explained…or denied

Ask one hundred people to explain love.

And you’ll get one hundred different answers.

Because love is like art, it’s subjective.
 

Fluid.
 

Ever-changing.

Evolving.

Case in point…

Love isn’t real.

It’s make believe, like Santa Claus or Vegas. All sparkle and fluff, until you look closely, and it’s just a sham under the guise of overinflated, wish-granting potential.

Only fools believe in love.

And I am no fool.

Love is strange. It comes out of nowhere. There’s no logic to it. It’s not methodical. It’s not scientific. It’s pure emotion and passion. And emotion and passion can be dangerous because they fuel love…and hate.

I’m now a reluctant connoisseur of both—an expert through immersion. I know them intimately.
 

When I fell in love with Miranda, it was swift and blind. We were both young. She was smart, beautiful, witty, and elusive. Rumors surrounded her like a legend that’s repeated in hushed whispers for generations based on hearsay and speculation. People said she was cruel, I saw strong willed. People said she was aloof, I saw independent. People said she was cunning, I saw goal-oriented. For every warning I was given, I put on rose-colored glasses and looked at her through my own warped, but discriminating, perspective. That is perhaps my biggest flaw, as well as my saving grace; I tend to only see the best in people. I had visions of grandeur. I didn’t want to change her—I didn’t think she needed changing. She was the person I’d elevated to mythical status in my head, in my dreams.

Here’s the thing about dreams, they’re smoke. They’re spun as thoughts until they become something we think we want. Something we think we need. That was Miranda. She was smoke. I thought I wanted her. I thought I needed her. Over time reality crept in and slowly dissected and disemboweled my dreams like a predator, leaving behind a rotting carcass.

Reality can be a fierce bitch.

So can Miranda.

And I can be a fool...

who believes in dreams.

And people.

And love.

There are a lot of things I’ve done without during my twenty-two years. You can’t miss what you never had, right? That holds true for everything in my life, except one. Love.

I miss it, even though we’ve never met.

It’s not something I’ve idealized into unobtainable perfection. Humans are messy and I’m sure love is too.
 

I think love is instinct driven, with the heart ruling over mind. It can’t be defined. I’ll just know it when I feel it, because it will be so bone-jarringly beautiful.

I want that someday, bone-jarringly beautiful.

Get out of hell free card

BOOK: So Much More
6.07Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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