So Much to Learn (11 page)

"Help," he
croaked. "I'm in pain, help me."

Well, that
answered that question.

I sighed,
clambering over his body and going out into the kitchen. I returned
a moment later with a huge glass of water and a couple of
painkillers.

"Good night
then?" I asked as I watched him down the water and drugs in a
couple of large gulps.

"I have no
idea," he groaned. "The pain has wiped out any memory I've ever
had."

"Oh, poor
baby." I ruffled his hair, eliciting another groan in the
process.

I collapsed
down on the bed beside him and gave him a shove so he’d roll over
and I’d have space to lie down. My bed is a double so there should
have been enough room, but, unfortunately, he just kept on rolling
and I had to grab him before he rolled completely off the other
side of the bed. Exclaiming in frustration I anchored him with my
foot and then used my hands to roll him flat on his back, a safe
distance from the edge.

"You're a good
girl," Matt croaked, obviously compos mentis enough to know he had
been about to roll off the bed, but not aware enough to stop
himself.

I smiled
slightly then snuggled back under the covers and murmured, "And
you're a good boy, now shush, I need my beauty sleep."

After our night
out it was easy enough to fall back asleep, but unfortunately it
wasn't too long before my slumber was, once again, disturbed. I
gradually awoke as the sound of smothered laughter entered my
consciousness.

Flicking open
my eyes, I saw three people squashed into my doorway. My heart made
a huge thump and then seemed to stop and I only just managed to
hold down the scream which had risen in my throat. Sitting up and
dragging the covers up to my neck I glared at the group.

"What the hell
do you think you're doing?" I screeched, sounding uncannily like my
old English teacher.

Simone, Sam and
Jack grinned back at me, quite unabashed at being caught watching
Matt and me sleeping.

"Calm down,"
Simone laughed, leaning against my door frame and looking
ridiculously perky for, I checked the clock, 9 on a Sunday morning.
"I was just going to ask if I could borrow a jumper and then I saw
you two looking so cute. My brothers rarely consent to even being
in the same room as me, it's so sweet how you and Matt get
along."

I glanced down
at Matt who was still oblivious to the world, occasional snorts and
snores emitting from his wide open mouth. He looked dishevelled and
dirty and I could smell his boozer’s breath from where I was
sitting.

Cute? Sweet? I
think not.

"Whatever
floats your boat." After a moment I looked over at Samsa and Jack
with raised eyebrows. "And what's your excuse then?" I asked. "I
can't see you enjoying the cuteness or the sweetness."

They both
shrugged, looking a little sheepish. Clearly Simone had called them
over and the allure of the sports crazy, macho Matt looking all
warm and fuzzy had been a sight too good to miss.

At that moment
Matt gave an especially loud grunt and woke himself up. Lifting his
head up slightly he blearily opened his eyes and started, as I had
done, at the sight of our audience.

"Christ!" He
exclaimed loudly before clapping a hand to his head and moaning,
"Ow."

I rolled my
eyes and slid out of bed, aware that I was only wearing my pjs,
but, considering the company, not really caring. Pushing past Sam
and Jack, I went to the wardrobe out in the main room, pulling a
jumper out for Simone. I threw it at her then went to the sink and
filled another big glass of water for Matt. I returned to my room
and placed the water on the bedside table before rounding on the
others, my hands on my hips.

"I think the
show's over, was there something else you wanted?"

"Nope, just the
jumper." Simone smiled sweetly and then tugged on Sam's arm. "Come
on, let's get going." She looked over at me. "We're going for a run
then we're going to be studying for the rest of the day so I'll
call you tonight."

Her and Sam
together all day? My, my, my. Looks like I'd been right about them
all along. I sent Simone a significant look then waved her
away.

"Sure, talk to
you later," I said, before switching my attention to Jack.

He had moved
past me and was sitting on the edge of the bed with the water
trying to get Matt to drink it.

"Don't want
to," Matt was grumbling, sounding like a three year old.

Jack seemed to
have no sympathy and, taking hold of Matt's arm and hauling him
into a semi upright position, he thrust the glass into his
hand.

"Don't be such
a pussy, drink the water," he commanded and, with no further
protests, Matt did.

I smiled, I
couldn't help it. It was such a perfect portrayal of their
friendship. Matt was always the one doing the idiotic things and
Jack was the one who swooped in afterwards and smoothed things
over.

Jack looked up
and, seeing me looking at him, got to his feet. "I'm going to be
out all day," he said quietly, so as not to disturb Matt who had
flopped back down into my pillows. "But I'll be back for tea if you
want me to cook." I nodded that I understood and, for a moment, it
looked like he was going to say something more, but then seemed to
think better of it. "See you later then," he murmured and then he
left the room.

I watched
through the open door as he gathered together his stuff then exited
the flat. I wondered what he was going to be spending the day doing
and what he had originally wanted to say. I was what my father
called a ‘nosey parker’ and usually if one of the boys were going
out they’d submit to giving me a run-down of their day's movements
to satisfy my endless curiosity so why had Jack been so reticent?
And I hated when people changed their mind about saying something,
it leaves me forever wondering what I'd missed out on hearing.

I shook my head
and determined not to think about it. If Jack was doing something
that he wanted me to know about then he would have told me and as
for the thing he didn't say, well you could waste your life
wondering what people were thinking and mostly it just wasn't worth
the effort.

Proud of my
mature approach I bounced down on the bed and poked Matt. "Just you
and me, brother," I said in an unnecessarily loud voice making him
groan and pull my pillow over his head.

Great, so
actually it looked like I was on my own. I wandered out into the
main room and flopped down on the couch. I flipped the TV on, but
turned it off again almost immediately. Nothing really much on the
box on a Sunday morning.

I twiddled my
thumbs for a couple of minutes, growing increasingly bored. Being
so used to having so many people around constantly, I found the
silence a little oppressive. Fantastic, I whine when I'm being
watched by all my friends and always around the flat, but now it
turns out I've become institutionalised! I was just smirking over
life's little quandaries when my phone rang.

Seeing a way
free of my boredom I virtually raced over to my bag and snatched my
mobile out, disregarding the caller ID.

"Hello," I said
cheerily. There was a long silence on the other end of the line and
I strained my ear to hear anything. "Um, hello," I said again, a
touch of impatience creeping into my voice.

"Hey, Talia,
it's me." He spoke so quietly I barely recognised his voice, but it
was definitely him.

"
Brad
?" My
voice was almost a squeal, what the hell was he doing phoning
me?

"Yeah, how've
you been, baby?"

Un-bel-eiv-able.

My face flamed red, my heart rate picked up its pace, and I
was generally so flabbergasted that he’d had the
cheek
to call me that I
sat down heavily on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Did Simone
pass on my message?" He asked after it became clear that I wasn’t
going to be engaging in any of the usual pleasantries with him.

"Yes," I
replied shortly. There was another long silence and I sighed
loudly. "Why have you called? What do you want?"

His voice, when
he next spoke, sounded incredibly frustrated. "I want things to go
back to how they were."

I snorted and,
before I could stop myself, asked, "What, when I was obliviously
having a good time while you rooted anything that moved behind my
back? Oh yeah, those were great times, we should go back to those,
really."

"Don't be
sarcastic, I meant when things were good and everybody got along. I
can barely go two steps on campus now without running into one of
your brother's bully boys." His voice whined with indignation and
then he obviously checked himself as his tone became more coaxing
as he added, "I mean, I'm sorry. And, hey, we could even get back
together if you like, as long as your brother's goons back
off."

Completely forgetting about Matt sleeping in my room I shot to
my feet and full out yelled, "I dumped
you
, dickhead, not the other way
round! And I'm sorry if you feel you're being given a hard time,
but, hey, you fooled around in the bed now you have to lie in
it."

I slammed the
phone down and stared at the wall, breathing heavily. How could I
ever have dated him? Did I have absolutely no self respect?

I vaguely heard
my door opening and Matt's footsteps across the kitchen. Then I
felt his arms come around my shoulder and I leant back against him
for a moment and breathed through my anger.

It wasn't long
before I felt better and turned to face my brother. He was looking
very wan and ill, his hair lank and greasy and his clothes rumpled
and smelly. I knew I wouldn't be looking that much better, but that
I'd be red rather than grey.

“Have you and
your mates been giving Brad a hard time when you see him?” I asked,
not putting it past Brad to be lying about that too.”

“Yes,” Matt
croaked, with no hint of apology and in a way that suggested there
was no point in me protesting...so I didn’t.

"C’mon,” my
brother easily brushed the topic of Brad aside and ambled towards
the couch. “Let's lock the door and spend the day watching crappy
movies, whaddya think?"

"I think it's
the best idea you've ever had," I replied honestly.

~*~

I slogged
through Monday as everyone else did, with much grumbling and
wishing it was still the weekend. I had a double lecture and tutes
in the morning and then I worked a shift at the uni bookstore
through the afternoon. I liked my job in that, apart from at the
beginning of the semester, it wasn't that stressful and the people
I worked with were nice, but it was still a job and I was more than
happy to get home.

When I got back
to the flat it was to see Matt and Jack sitting on the couch having
what looked like a very serious conversation. My heart leapt for a
second as I thought that Jack might have told Matt what was going
on between us, but, as they looked up, I saw no hint of guilt in
Jack's eyes and no anger in Matt's and sagged slightly in
relief.

I flopped into
a chair and looked at them enquiringly. "What's going on?" I
asked.

Jack looked at
Matt and nodded as if to say, 'you can tell her.' So I shifted my
attention to my brother and shot him a look that clearly said 'go
on then!'

"Jack's applied
for a scholarship," Matt said and my face relaxed into a smile.

I almost said
'is that all?' but stopped myself just in time as obviously there
was more to the situation than met the eye. Why were they looking
so intense about it?

"So how much
money would you get?" I asked after a beat as neither boys seemed
like they were going to offer any more information.

Jack looked at
me properly for the first time and I saw that, far from the
excitement you would expect from the situation, he looked worried
and drawn. "They would pay off my entire degree," he said quietly
and my jaw dropped.

"Jack, that's huge," I exclaimed. And it truly was. No degree
was cheap, but, as Jack was doing architecture and it was in one of
the higher brackets, it would take
years
for him to pay it off on his
own. Matt and I had to work to pay for rent and food and stuff, but
our family would always help us out if we ever got stuck
financially and Jack didn't have that. Well, that’s to say Mum and
Dad had offered hundreds of times to help with his monetary load,
but he always refused. Jack preferred to go it alone on most
things.

"Yeah, and
there's more," he said in a low even voice that I just didn't
understand considering the circumstances. "I would do a year, maybe
more, of post-graduate work at Cambridge…in England."

I felt like a
heavy weight had just landed on my chest. So that was why it seemed
so subdued. If he won the scholarship we would lose Jack for at
least a year, I glanced at Matt and, this time, I saw exactly what
he was feeling. He knew this was a huge opportunity for Jack and
could set him up for the rest of his life, but a tiny, selfish part
of him wanted to tell him not to go for it. In short he was pretty
much feeling exactly as I was...and that just wouldn't do!

"Wow!" I said,
mustering up my reserves of enthusiasm. "That’s really awesome,
what do you have to do to get it?"

Jack looked
down at the stack of papers in his lap although I had the feeling
he already knew it all word for word. "A requirement test, an
aptitude test and an interview all of which take place at the end
of next month. The aptitude test will just be one of those wanky
personality test things and the interview I should be able to wing,
but the requirement test will basically be on everything I've
learnt over nearly three years."